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Odette: Up your ziggy with a wa-wa brush.
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[Browsing an adult catalog]
Miss McVane: Oh, look, this one has three speeds.
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Odette: They think I'll be safe surrounded by high walls and lesbians. This is the end of the world. One look tells you, this place eats the hairy bird.
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Abby Sawyer: You're all just a bunch of... doodyheads.
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Verena Von Stefan: Right. Just imagine, we'll have to wash our hair every night. We'll have to sleep on rollers til our scalps bleed. Then we'll have to get up at six every morning for the comb out. Your lungs will be lined with hairspray. Then you need all this equipment to push up the tits and blitz the zits and spray the pits! Then you stagger into class and you look perfect but you're exhausted, you're too tired to even think but that's okay the teachers they won't call on you anyway, also you don't want to be smarter than the boys. They don't like that, so to wake yourself up you drink some coffee at lunch but don't eat the food. You'll be on a permanent diet!
Tweety: I'm not going to change the way I am just because boys are around.
Verena Von Stefan: Come off it Tweety. I've seen you at school dances it's like the three faces of Eve. You turn into this simpering wretch and the whole next week we have to put up with your suicide attempts because your date didn't like you!
Tweety: Verena!
Momo: Now you've done it. That was really uncalled for vagina.
Tinka Parker: Look Von Stefan, I know you like this place the way it is but wake up it's not real life, real life is boy girl boy girl.
Verena Von Stefan: No! Real life is boy *on top* of girl!
Momo: Would you two stop it.
Verena Von Stefan: You should know that.
Odette: Look, it looks like this is going to happen whether we like it or not so we're just gonna have to adjust.
Tinka Parker: Yes, we'll just have to adjust.
Verena Von Stefan: Where would we be today if President Kennedy had said 'Oh well, looks like we'll just have to adjust to living in the shadow of nuclear warheads on Cuba'.
Momo: There ya go.
Odette: They're just boys Verena, not communists.
Verena Von Stefan: I'm not gonna live in the shadow of the Hairy Bird!
Tinka Parker: Well that's your prob. You're afraid of boys!
Verena Von Stefan: You'd be scared too except you've got nothing left to lose Miss Tinka!
Momo: Order! Order!
Tinka Parker: Prude!
Verena Von Stefan: Tramp!
Tweety: Truce you guys! Quiet. Come on, have some ravioli.
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Odette: They're just boys Verena, not communists.
Verena Von Stefan: I'm not going to live in the shadow of the hairy bird.
Tinka Parker: Well that's your problem, you're afraid of boys.
Verena Von Stefan: You'd be afraid too except that you have nothing left to lose Ms Tinka.
Tinka Parker: Prude.
Verena Von Stefan: Tramp.
Tweety: Truce. Quiet. Come on. Have some ravioli.
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Tinka Parker: It's what we've always wanted, boys at Ms. Goddards.
Verena Von Stefan: Oh yeah you'd just go out and greet them with open legs.
Odette: Hey now they're going to have to call it Ms. Go-nads.
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Tinka Parker: Look, Von Stefan. I know you like this place the way it is, but wake up. It's not real life. Real life is boy, girl, boy, girl.
Verena Von Stefan: No, real life is boy *on top* of girl.
-
Verena Von Stefan: Coed school will be a nice change.
Odette: [to Frosty] Excuse us please.
[aside]
Odette: You hypocrite. I thought you said you hated boys.
Verena Von Stefan: I've been thinking, perhaps they are like dogs. If we don't take them in, they run wild and are a danger to society.
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Verena Von Stefan: No more little white gloves.
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Odette: None of your Floppin Buggies.
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Snake: You're so beautiful I can eat your teeth.
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Abby Sawyer: [Sobbing] They all... hate me. Sometimes I just want to rip off my stars and be just like everyone else.
Page Sawyer: Abby Sawyer, when you are at the top, there are always jealous people at the bottom who try to bring you down. Well, you just stick out your chin and say "POO."
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[after Odie has humiliated the hall monitor]
Verena Von Stefan: Wow... that was breath-taking. You really do have quite a way with words. Odie, I would like to invite you to join the D.A.R.
Odette: Oh, I'm not a republican.
Verena Von Stefan: Oh, God, no. We should hope not.
-
[Before sex]
Dennis: Look, even if you did get pregnant, I'd marry you.
Odette: Do you believe in centralized government or states' rights?
Dennis: What?
Odette: I just want to know the kind of guy I'm marrying.
Dennis: I'm starting to get the distinct impression you don't want to do this anymore.
-
[Verena arrives late to class]
Frank Dewey: Verena, why are you so late? You've missed an entire period.
Verena Von Stefan: [gasps] You mean I'm pregnant?
-
Odette: I did NOT say you could use my record player.
Tinka Parker: Welcome. I'm Tinka Parker, and this is Verena Von Stefan.
Verena Von Stefan: Art thou per chance, Odette?
Odette: Odie.
-
[Odie, Verena, and Tinka are going to bed]
Tinka Parker: Good night, Verena.
Verena Von Stefan: Good night, Tinka.
Tinka Parker: [teasing Odie] Good night, Dennis.
Verena Von Stefan: Ohh. Dennis. Harder. Deeper.
[Verena snickers as Tinka continues to mock Odie]
-
Tweety: Verena's gone, St. Ambrose is taking over, and next year I'm going to have to face Todd Winslow every day at breakfast. I WANT TO RETCH AND DIE.
Momo: They're going to pull down our grades.
Tinka Parker: They're going to pull down more than that.
-
Verena Von Stefan: Right. Just imagine. We'll have to wash our hair every night, we'll have to sleep on rollers till our scalp bleeds, then we'll have to get up at six every morning for the comb out. Your lungs will be lined with hairspray. Then you need all this equipment to push up the tits and blitz the zits and spray the pits. Then, then you stagger into class and you look perfect, but you're exhausted. You're too tired to even think. But that's okay, because the teachers won't call on you anyway. Also, you don't wanna be smarter than the boys - they don't like that. So, to wake up you drink some coffee at lunch.
[to Tweety]
Verena Von Stefan: You'll be on a permanent diet.
-
Snake: Excuse me, I think I left my yacht running.
-
[Frosty wakes up after Verena finishes undressing him]
Verena Von Stefan: [gasp] You're not supposed to be awake!
'Frosty' Frost: [looks around] I'm probably not.
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Odette: [about the school's co-ed merger] Verena, it looks like this thing is going to happen whether we want it to or not so we're just going to have to adjust.
Verena Von Stefan: Adjust? Where would we be today if President Kennedy had said "Oh well, we'll just have to ADJUST to living in the shadow of nuclear warheads on Cuba?"
Momo: There ya go.
Odette: They're just boys, Verena, not communists.
-
Verena Von Stefan, Tinka Parker: Dinner!
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'Frosty' Frost: You know what's fun? Codine and rubber cement!
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Verena Von Stefan: How are you feeling?
'Frosty' Frost: No cramps!
-
Momo: That was really uncalled for, *Vagina*.
-
Tinka Parker: Are you carrying Dennis' child?
Verena Von Stefan: You can tell Tinka, she's had four pregnancy scares.
Tinka Parker: Four.
Tweety: Was it beautiful, when he spent himself inside you?
Odette: Do you actually expect me to answer these questions?
Momo: But we're curious. We all have our hymens except Tinka.
Verena Von Stefan: That's enough, clearly she doesn't want to describe it. It's like hog wrestling isn't that right Odes?
Tinka Parker: I don't even think she's done with Dennis yet.
-
Odette: I loathe and deplore this place.
Verena Von Stefan: I don't see how you can say that when you're from Detroit.
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Odette: Verena, up yours with a Breck bottle.
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Miss McVane: More tea?
Verena Von Stefan: No thank you.
Miss McVane: Cigarette?
Verena Von Stefan: Sure.
Miss McVane: Catch.
-
Snake: But she kissed me.
Possum - Flat Critter: Girls get very kissey.
Strike! Quotes
Extended Reading