Stagecoach Quotes

Marshal Curly Wilcox: Come busting in here - you'd think we were being attacked! You can find another wife.

Chris: Sure I can find another wife. But she take my rifle and my horse. Oh, I'll never sell her. I love her so much. I beat her with a whip and she never get tired.

Dr. Josiah Boone: Your wife?

Chris: No, my horse. I can find another wife easy, yes, but not a horse like that!

[the telegraph breaks off in mid-message]

Capt. Sickel: Well? What's wrong?

Telegraph operator: The line went dead, sir.

Capt. Sickel: What have you got here?

Telegraph operator: Only the first word, sir.

Capt. Sickel: (reading) Geronimo.

[Lt. Blanchard has just informed the stagecoach occupants that the cavalry will not escort them to Lordsburg]

Marshal Curly Wilcox: This stage is going to Lordsburg. If you think it ain't safe to ride along with us, I figure we can get there without you soldier boys.

Henry Gatewood: So you're the notorious Ringo Kid.

The Ringo Kid: My friends just call me Ringo - nickname I had as a kid. Right name's Henry.

The Ringo Kid: That was my kid brother that broke his arm. You did a good job, Doc, even if you were drunk.

Dr. Josiah Boone: Thank you, son. Professional compliments are always pleasing.

[the stagecoach occupants vote on whether to continue without a cavalry escort]

Marshal Curly Wilcox: You, Doc?

Dr. Josiah Boone: I'm not only a philosopher, sir, I'm a fatalist. Somewhere, sometime, there may be the right bullet or the wrong bottle waiting for Josiah Boone. Why worry when or where?

Marshal Curly Wilcox: Yes or no?

Dr. Josiah Boone: Having that philosophy, sir, I've always courted danger. During the late war - when I had the honor to serve the Union under our great president, Abraham Lincoln... and General Phil Sheridan - well, sir, I fought mid shot and shell and cannon roar...

Marshal Curly Wilcox: Do you wanna go back or not?

Dr. Josiah Boone: No! I want another drink.

[Mrs. Mallory, a passenger, has just given birth]

Buck: Hey, Curly, do you think I oughta charge Mrs. Mallory's baby half fare?

Dr. Josiah Boone: I'll take that shotgun, Luke.

Luke Plummer: You'll take it in the belly if you don't get out of my way.

Dr. Josiah Boone: I'll have you indicted for murder if you step outside with that shotgun.

Luke Plummer: [throws the shotgun on the bar] We'll attend to you later.

Dr. Josiah Boone: [to bartender after Plummer leaves] Don't ever let me do that again.

Ed (editor): McCoy! Billy, kill that story about the Republican Convention in Chicago and take this down: "The Ringo Kid was killed on Main Street in Lordsburg tonight. And among the additional dead were..." Leave that blank for a spell.

McCoy, typesetter: I didn't hear any shootin', Ed.

Ed (editor): You will, Billy, you will.

Dr. Josiah Boone: Jerry, I'll admit as one man to another that, economically, I haven't been of much value to you. But do you suppose you could put one on credit?

Jerry (bartender): If talk was money, Doc, you'd be the best customer I got.

Buck: If I was you, I'd let them shoot it out.

Marshal Curly Wilcox: Let who?

Buck: Luke Plummer and the Kid. There would be a lot more peace in this territory if that Luke Plummer had so many holes in him he couldn't hold his liquor.

[first lines]

Cavalry scout: These hills here are full of Apaches. They've burnt every ranch building in sight.

[referring to Indian scout]

Cavalry scout: He had a brush with them last night. Says they're being stirred up by Geronimo.

Capt. Sickel: Geronimo? How do we know he isn't lying?

Cavalry scout: No, he's a Cheyenne. They hate Apaches worse than we do.

[last lines]

Dr. Josiah Boone: Well, they're saved from the blessings of civilization.

Marshal Curly Wilcox: Yeah.

[laughs]

Marshal Curly Wilcox: Doc, I'll buy you a drink.

Dr. Josiah Boone: Just one.

Dr. Josiah Boone: Seems to me I knew your family, Henry. Didn't I fix your arm once when you, oh, bumped off a horse?

Ringo Kid: Are you Doc Boone?

Dr. Josiah Boone: I certainly am. Ah, let's see... I'd just been honorably discharged from the Union Army after the War of the Rebellion.

Hatfield: You mean the War for the Southern Confederacy, sir.

Dr. Josiah Boone: I mean nothing of the kind, sir!

Ringo Kid: That was my kid brother broke his arm. You did a good job, Doc, even if you was drunk.

Dr. Josiah Boone: Thank you, son. Professional compliments are always pleasing. What happened to that boy whose arm I fixed?

Ringo Kid: He was murdered.

Hatfield: A gentleman doesn't smoke in the presence of a lady.

Dr. Josiah Boone: Three weeks ago I took a bullet out of a man who was shot by a gentleman. The bullet was in his back!

Hatfield: You mean to insinuate...

Ringo Kid: Sit down, mister. Doc don't mean no harm.

Ringo Kid: Look, Miss Dallas. You got no folks... neither have I. And, well, maybe I'm takin' a lot for granted, but... I watched you with that baby - that other woman's baby. You looked... well, well I still got a ranch across the border. There's a nice place - a real nice place... trees... grass... water. There's a cabin half built. A man could live there... and a woman. Will you go?

Dallas: But you don't know me - you don't know who I am.

Ringo Kid: I know all I wanna know. Will you go?

Dallas: Oh, don't talk like that!

[the stagecoach occupants are voting whether or not to continue without a cavalry escort]

Marshal Curly Wilcox: How 'bout you, Mr. Hancock?

Samuel Peacock: Peacock. I'd like to go on, brother. I want to reach the bosom of my dear family in Kansas City, Kansas as quickly as possible; but, I may never reach that bosom if we go on... so, under the circumstances - you understand, brother - I think it best we go back with the bosoms... I mean the soldiers.

Dallas: [the ladies of the Law and Order League are running Dallas out of town; Doc Boone is being thrown out by his landlady] Doc, haven't I any right to live? What have I done?

Dr. Josiah Boone: We're the victims of a foul disease called social prejudice, my child. These dear ladies of the Law and Order League are scouring out the dregs of the town. Come on. Be a proud, glorified dreg like me.

Tonto Sheriff: You get goin' Doc. You're drunk.

Boone's Landlady: Hmmph! Two of a kind! Just two of a kind.

Dr. Josiah Boone: [Offering Dallas his arm, then making a reference to the French Revolution] Take my arm, Madame le Comtesse! The tumbrel awaits. To the guillotine!

Dr. Josiah Boone: Well, now that the danger is past, Mr...

Samuel Peacock: ...Peacock.

Dr. Josiah Boone: Ladies and gentlemen, since it's most unlikely we'll ever have the pleasure of meeting again socially, I'd like to propose a toast. Major, Gatewood, Ringo... to your health.

Samuel Peacock: Savages!

Chris: That's my wife, Yakima... my squaw.

Samuel Peacock: Yes, but she's... she's... savage!

Chris: Si senor, she's little bit savage, I think.

Buck: You better get out and stretch your leg - I mean your limbs, ma'am. We're going to change horses here.

Mrs. Lucy Mallory: Is there any place here where I can have a cup of tea?

Buck: Well, yes ma'am, you can get a cup of coffee at the hotel across the street there.

Buck: Well, Marshal, I'm lookin' for my shotgun guard. Is he here?

Marshal Curly Wilcox: Out with a posse, Buck. Trying to catch the Ringo Kid.

Buck: Ringo? I thought Ringo was in the pen?

Marshal Curly Wilcox: He was.

Buck: Busted out? Well, good for him!

Hatfield: Put out that cigar. You're annoying this lady.

Dr. Josiah Boone: Excuse me, madame. Being so partial to the weed myself, I sometimes forget that it disagrees with others.

Dallas: Why do you look at me like that?

Ringo Kid: I'm just trying to remember. Ain't I seen you someplace before, ma'am?

Dallas: No. No, you haven't.

Ringo Kid: I wish I had though.

Ringo Kid: Well, I used to be a good cowhand. But, things happen.

Dallas: Yeah, that's it. Things happen.

Buck: If I was you I'd let 'em shoot it out.

Marshal Curly Wilcox: Let who?

Buck: Luke Plummer and the Kid. There'd be a lot more peace in this territory if that Luke Plummer was so full of lead he couldn't hold his liquor.

Marshal Curly Wilcox: I ain't sayin' I don't share your sentiments, Buck. But you're a born fool!

Buck: Oh, I know that.

Ringo Kid: My father and brother were shot down by the Plummer boy... Guess you don't know how it feels to loose your own folks that way.

Dallas: I lost mine when I was a kid. It was a massacre on Superstition Mountain.

Ringo Kid: That's tough - especially on a girl.

Dr. Josiah Boone: [drunkenly singing] My horse has gone, She has gone astray, With a son...

Buck: Quiet, Doc! This is a serious matter, ain't it?

Dr. Josiah Boone: My dear, Buck. If I have only one hour to live, I'm gonna enjoy myself.

Luke Plummer: Aces and Eights.

Poker Player: Huh, dead man's hand, Luke.