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Charlotte Inwood: He was an abominable man. Why do women marry abominable men?
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Commodore Gill: I never hope to be appreciated. Yes, your mother cured me of that. That's why I could never be bothered with your mother.
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Eve Gill: There's nothing the matter with your reputation!
Commodore Gill: Oh, indeed? I'd rather flattered myself that there was...
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Det. Insp. Wilfred 'Ordinary' Smith: Every time I'm beginning to think I know what colour your eyes are - you disappear!
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Det. Insp. Wilfred 'Ordinary' Smith: I once had a cousin who had an ulcer and an extremely funny face, both at the same time. Everybody laughed at him when he was telling his symptoms. His name was Jim.
Eve Gill: That must've been terrible!
Det. Insp. Wilfred 'Ordinary' Smith: Oh, I don't know, Jim is quite a common name.
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Eve Gill: I played the Fourth deadly sin.
Det. Insp. Wilfred 'Ordinary' Smith: Were you good?
Eve Gill: I was... pretty deadly.
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Commodore Gill: More than a friend, eh?
Eve Gill: When I'm with him, I get a feeling in here that... that's sort of...
Commodore Gill: Yes, well, we'll go into the symptoms later. Meanwhile, I take it you're either keen on him, or still hungry.
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Charlotte Inwood: You can stand just so much of detectives! After all, they are only policemen with smaller feet!
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Mrs. Gill: Nonsense! Next you'll be telling me that this Mr. Smith, or whatever his name is, is a real, live detective!
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Mrs. Gill: [Det. Insp. Smith plays the piano] Oh, it's just like Sherlock Holmes and his fiddle. A stream of beautiful sound and then suddenly out pops the solution.
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Det. Insp. Wilfred 'Ordinary' Smith: Look here you don't look like an irresponsible imbecile, why behave like one. What do you mean letting your daughter get mixed up in a business like this, what sort of a father do you think you are?
Commodore Gill: Unique. Quite unique.
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Charlotte Inwood: Ships that pass in the something or other.
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Charlotte Inwood: I HATE rain at funerals.
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Jonathan Cooper: Eve, I hated to tell you that phony story in your car that time. But there was no other way! Charlotte did go to my flat after I killed her husband. Her dress was stained and so I bought her a clean one. Then, when she went to the theater, I made a big stain on it, to make you believe me. I'm telling you the truth!
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Eve Gill: I appreciate you, father. You and Captain Kidd are my favorite heroes.
Commodore Gill: My child, I am not deceived. If there's one thing I cannot bear, it's insincerity.
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Charlotte Inwood: Oh, darling, don't confide in me. Pour some tea will you?
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'Lovely Ducks': Who wants to shoot lovely ducks?
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[first lines]
Eve Gill: Any sign of the police?
Jonathan Cooper: No, no sign. Looks like we're getting away with it.
Eve Gill: Good.
Jonathan Cooper: How far is it to your father's boat?
Eve Gill: Two hours, with luck. You're luck seems to be very good. Touching wood.
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Charlotte Inwood: Johnny, you love me? Say that you love me. You do love me, don't you? I think he's dead. I'm sure he's dead. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it.
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Jonathan Cooper: Eve, do you hate me? Now that you know about Charlotte and me?
Eve Gill: Why, I could never hate you Jonathan; because, we're - we're such old friends. And - well, just because. But, I do wish I'd taken lessons on the second fiddle.
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Commodore Gill: The best thing you can do, my girl, is go back to the Academy; practice your soul-shaking antics in surroundings where they can't do any harm.
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Det. Insp. Wilfred 'Ordinary' Smith: Perhaps you're allergic to bars. Look, would you feel less uneasy if I sat with you? Or, more uneasy? Perhaps you're allergic to strange men too.
Charlotte Inwood: No, I love strange men! I mean, I'm very fond of them.
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Eve Gill: I'm an actress. I ought to face up to all sorts of experiences, oughtin' I?
Det. Insp. Wilfred 'Ordinary' Smith: Oh, I don't know. Supposing I happened to be a - a librarian? A librarian doesn't have to encounter much violence except an occasional encyclopedia falling on his head.
Eve Gill: But, you're not a librarian. Are you?
Det. Insp. Wilfred 'Ordinary' Smith: No, I'm not. How do you know?
Eve Gill: You just don't look like a librarian.
Det. Insp. Wilfred 'Ordinary' Smith: You don't look like an actress.
Eve Gill: Oh? I thought I did.
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Eve Gill: I hear that Charlotte Inwood's going back into the show in a couple of days. It must be dreadful to sing and dance and be gay with that horrible picture still burning in one's mind.
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Nellie Goode: Questions? They've been asking me this, asking me that, all morning long. I didn't know whether I was comin' or goin'. Gin and lemon, please, Miss Tippett. Not too much lemon, dear. Mind you, they never laid a finger on me. But, oh, the questions. Nag, nag, nag. "How did you know it was Mr. Cooper?" "How many times you seen him and where?" and "Did he give you anything?" Blimey, he never gave me nothing. And "How long you been Miss Inwood's maid?" Well, they was gentlemanly and polite, all right; but, give me the bleedin' rations any day, dear.
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Eve Gill: I do still feel a bit wobbly.
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Eve Gill: I can't tell you how much I appreciate this. You've been extraordinarily kind and you know nothing whatsoever about me.
Det. Insp. Wilfred 'Ordinary' Smith: Oh, I don't know, Miss Gill. You were born in South Africa, the 17th of September, wasn't it? You're educated in America and now you're studying at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts. Your mother and father don't live together. You were a very well behaved young lady until today. But, you're allergic to murder and that drove you to drink. I hope its only temporary.
Eve Gill: But, I don't even know your name.
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Det. Insp. Wilfred 'Ordinary' Smith: My name is Smith.
Eve Gill: Just, ordinary Smith?
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Eve Gill: And I could take your place.
Nellie Goode: You'd never get away with it. What makes you think you could be a maid?
Eve Gill: Well, it would only be for a day or two.
Nellie Goode: You'd have to be a dresser down at the theater, too. You couldn't do that. That's very highly skilled work.
Eve Gill: Well, I could if you told me how.
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Nellie Goode: It sounds phony to me. All this trouble, just to get a newspaper story?
Eve Gill: Well, we women reporters have a tough job competing with the men, especially on important stories like this.
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Eve Gill: I could do it, really I could. I've done a bit of acting.
Nellie Goode: Character acting?
Eve Gill: Yes.
Nellie Goode: I see. All you got to do is put on some of your old clothes and make yourself look common like me.
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Charlotte Inwood: [to the dressmaker] This is very nice. If you can call mourning, nice. But, isn't there some way we could, eh, let it plunge a little in front? I suppose not.
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Charlotte Inwood: I'm beginning to feel sad and I shouldn't feel sad. It's so depressing.
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Charlotte Inwood: Hand me a negligee from that cupboard over there, will you?
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Charlotte Inwood: No use trying to stop me. I'm going on tonight! Be at the theater at six o'clock sharp, will you?
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Mrs. Gill: I really must apologize for Eve, Mr., eh? Was the name Smith?
Det. Insp. Wilfred 'Ordinary' Smith: Smith, yes.
Mrs. Gill: Smith. The name seems familiar somehow?
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Eve Gill: My Dad says that man on the run might turn up here. Might even get into the dressing room. Might even murder me, madame.
Charlotte Inwood: The scene of the crime, the murderer returns to - not the theater.
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Charlotte Inwood: Stop acting like a silly school girl! The only murderer here is the Orchestra Leader.
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Male Quartet: [singing] It's not cause she wouldn't; It's not cause she shouldn't; And, you know, it's not cause she couldn't, It's simply because...
Charlotte Inwood: I'm the laziest gal in town. Nothing ever worries me, No one ever hurries me, I take pleasure leisurely, Even when I kiss. But when I kiss they want some more, And wanting more becomes a bore...
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Charlotte Inwood: [singing] Though I'm more than willing to learn, How these gals get money to burn, Every proposition I turn down, Way down...
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Charlotte Inwood: Well, you don't want me to give up everything, do you?
Jonathan Cooper: Why not? I have.
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Eve Gill: I have to phone Smith tomorrow. Why don't I invite him to the theatrical garden party with me? I have to sell programs there.
Commodore Gill: I don't quite follow you, my dear Holmes.
Eve Gill: In order to make him see! Nobody suspects our Charlotte yet. And they've got to!
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Jonathan Cooper: I'm sorry to turn up so late, Eve; but I'm stranded in town for the night. All the hotels are full. My flat's uninhabitable. I told you, it's in the hands of the - decorators. I know its a frightful imposition; but, I wondered if you could give me a shakedown somewhere?
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Eve Gill: After all, there must be a lot that doesn't appear on the surface. I mean, like wheels within wheels. Who - who knows what goes on in a woman's mind? I don't know.
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Charlotte Inwood: Oh, this is a pleasure. Where have you been? I thought you were dead.
Eve Gill: Oh, no, Madame. I wasn't. As a matter of fact...
Charlotte Inwood: You needn't go into detail, darling. I hope you're not going to turn into one of those explicit people who always tell you exactly how they feel when you ask them.
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Charlotte Inwood: Darling! Whatever happened to that peculiar figure of your's?
Eve Gill: It's a new dress, Madame.
Charlotte Inwood: Keep it, dear. What it does for you is worth thousands.
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Chubby Bannister: Rehearsals, rehearsals, from morning till night. If we want to misbehave ourselves, we couldn't find a minute to do it in.
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Commodore Gill: Miss Livingston, I presume.
Nellie Goode: That's not my name.
Commodore Gill: No, no, no, it's Nellie Goode, isn't it? But, what does a name matter? After all, I could think of lots and lots of much more appropriate names for you.
Nellie Goode: Yes and I could think of a few for you, too. Who are you?
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Commodore Gill: You are a blackmailer, aren't you? You know, that's a very, very naughty thing to be.
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Eve Gill: No matter how my feelings toward him change, I still can't let Jonathan down, can I?
Commodore Gill: Not while he's hiding in our house.
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Eve Gill: When we were in the taxi together I felt as though I were on a great golden cloud.
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Stage Hand With Microphone: What's the idea, Guvernor?
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Charlotte Inwood: We may never see each other again. Ships that pass in or something or other. I like you. You're so very sweet and patient. I don't suppose I'm easy to get along with.
Eve Gill: Oh, but you are, Madame. It's been wonderful working with you. And I do love the theater so.
Charlotte Inwood: I don't see why. It's an awful life, really. Here darling, a little something extra for you.
[hands "Doris" a few pounds]
Eve Gill: I couldn't, Madame, honestly.
Charlotte Inwood: Don't be an idiot. Put it in the bank or go out and get drunk or something.
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Charlotte Inwood: I had a dog once. He hated me. At last he bit me and I had him shot! When I give all my love and get back treachery and hatred its - its as if my mother had struck me in the face.
Stage Fright Quotes
Extended Reading
