Space Cowboys Quotes

Sara Holland: I have never met a kid who didn't dream of being an astronaut when he grew up.

Col. William 'Hawk' Hawkins: Did you ever meet a kid who didn't grow up?

Frank Corvin: Well, what do you say, Reverend? You think a prayer's in order?

Tank Sullivan: I was just reciting the Shepard's Prayer. Alan Shepard's prayer. Oh Lord, please don't let us screw up. Amen.

Tiny, Bar Bouncer: I'll put you in the hospital, old man.

Frank Corvin: Yeah? Well, I've got Medicare. Go ahead and shoot your best shot!

Barbara Corvin: Would you like me to read the instructions to you again?

Frank Corvin: Let me tell you something, my dear. Those instructions were written by a fellow in Japan when they made this damn thing. They were probably translated by some gringo who was an expatriate American that couldn't get a job in this country. And then the Japanese guy probably translated him just to double check on him. You don't need these instructions. Not at all. Tear them up.

[Frank and Hawk are asking a waitress who she would prefer to 'take home']

Col. William 'Hawk' Hawkins: Would you prefer this man, with his asymmetrical sagging ass-cheeks, his love-handles the size of Nebraska, and his oh-so-ugly in-grown toenail...?

Frank Corvin: [interrupting] Or this son of a bitch with the chicken-gizzard neck and the face that looks like thirty miles of Death Valley fire trail?

Bob Gerson: Francis D. Corvin.

Sara Holland: Is he dead?

Bob Gerson: Only if I'm lucky.

Frank Corvin: This is Jerry O'Neill.

Sara Holland: No nickname for you?

Jerry O'Neill: You can call me

[kisses her hand]

Jerry O'Neill: anytime.

Frank Corvin: You know what the worst day of my life was? The day Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon. I was probably the only person in America who wanted to commit suicide that day.

Col. William 'Hawk' Hawkins: Well, thanks a lot Frank. We haven't spoken in twelve years and that's basically been the big question on my mind, what could make you commit suicide.

[the younger astronauts have given Team Daedalus some Ensure as a gag]

Jerry O'Neill: I'd drink this. It's good for your libido.

Col. William 'Hawk' Hawkins: What are you doing here?

Frank Corvin: Keeping a promise I made years ago.

Col. William 'Hawk' Hawkins: Was that the promise you made to kill me or the promise you made to have both my legs broke?

[challenging Frank to fight]

Col. William 'Hawk' Hawkins: Okay, bad guy, we're taking this outside! I want to whip your asymmetrical sagging ass! Get out there in that parking lot!

[Frank and Hawk step outside]

Jerry O'Neill: Here we go again...

Tank Sullivan: I've got ten on Frank!

[the crew are guests on the Tonight show]

Jay Leno: Now you all have military backgrounds... North or South?

Young Pilot #1: Hey, Hawk. This guys wants a scary ride.

Jason: It's my birthday!

Col. William 'Hawk' Hawkins: [pause] Happy birthday.

Frank Corvin: [after hes told Tank and Jerry to bail out] I thought i told you to bail out!

Tank Sullivan: We're staying! If you don't mind!

Frank Corvin: [after Hawk crashes the shuttle during a simulation] Hawk, this isn't a stripped-down showplane. You've got to do it their way.

Col. William 'Hawk' Hawkins: I don't need a damn computer to tell me how to land an aircraft.

Roger Hines: It's not an aircraft, Colonel. It's a flying brick, and you've GOT to use the computer's protocols.

Col. William 'Hawk' Hawkins: What if the on-board computer fails?

Ethan Glance: It never has.

Col. William 'Hawk' Hawkins: [to the simulator supervisor] Houston, Horizon.

Mission Control Tech: Go ahead.

Col. William 'Hawk' Hawkins: Request second landing please.

[pause]

Col. William 'Hawk' Hawkins: Houston - Horizon, request on board computer FAILURE on second landing.

Eugene 'Gene' Davis: Run it again. Sock it to 'em.

Col. William 'Hawk' Hawkins: [Frank and Hawk are inside the centrifuge/spinning machine, which is about to be started] The first one to pass out buys the beers tonight...

Frank Corvin: [machine start spinning] You're on...

Col. William 'Hawk' Hawkins: [machine speed increases and it's moving really fast] This thing's moving?...

Frank Corvin: I don't know... Doesn't seems to be moving to me...

Col. William 'Hawk' Hawkins: [machine speed continues to increase] Say, fellas, is y'all's equipment broke down? Fellas?

[everybody's watching the show]

Col. William 'Hawk' Hawkins: You're a pushover, Frank!

Col. William 'Hawk' Hawkins: [machine is now spinning at top speed] I do believe it's moving now...

Tank Sullivan: That sure will take the wrinkles out.

Eugene 'Gene' Davis: [walking into the control room] WHAT the hell is going on here?

[crowd disappears]

Eugene 'Gene' Davis: [really pissed, hits the emergency stop on the centrifuge] I'm sure you think you're putting on a great show, but this is not a toy! Now which one of you assholes wants to explain this?

Frank Corvin: Gene?

Eugene 'Gene' Davis: What?

Frank Corvin: Which one of us passed out first?

Eugene 'Gene' Davis: I'm getting too old for this shit...

Ethan Glance: I'm your backup, okay? I'm on a need to know basis!

Frank Corvin: You don't need to know dick, and I don't need a backup.

[Last Lines]

[Frank and Barbara Corvin are standing by their home and staring at the Moon]

Barbara Corvin: Do you think he

[Hawkins]

Barbara Corvin: made it?

Frank Corvin: Yeah, I think he made it.

Bob Gerson: How old are ya, Frank?

Frank Corvin: Old enough to know your ass is in a sling.

Eugene 'Gene' Davis: Morning, Hawk.

Col. William 'Hawk' Hawkins: Good morning.

Eugene 'Gene' Davis: What happened to your eye?

Col. William 'Hawk' Hawkins: l fell in the shower. Tell maintenance to put some no-slip adhesives on that slippery floor.

Eugene 'Gene' Davis: How's it going, Frank?

Frank Corvin: Fine, fine.

Eugene 'Gene' Davis: Whats with the eye? Slip in the shower?

Frank Corvin: How would you know that?

Eugene 'Gene' Davis: l think I'll have a chat with the janitor.