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Lane Leonard: Bill?
Bill Korn: Lane! Hey, check it out! French fry log cabin.
Lane Leonard: [laughing] You're not wasting your day.
Bill Korn: You know it.
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Hal Branston: Come on, Lane! This snow day happened for a reason. It's given me a second chance with Claire.
Lane Leonard: Hal, what do you think she's gonna do? Hold you to your chest and lick your ear and call you funky?
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Lane Leonard: [knocking on the door] Mr. Zellweger, please!
Mr. Zellweger: Whats the problem?
Lane Leonard: Mr. Zellwegar, i tried to stop her i really tried!
Mr. Zellweger: Stop who from doing what?
Lane Leonard: "Al Martino bites the big one". thats what she wrote. On the bathroom wall. Some weird girl with a dog collar, and a snake tatoo on her face!
Mr. Zellweger: WHAT KIND OF SICKO?
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[having just had ketchup poured on him]
Wayne Alworth: This better not stain my coat.
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Hal Branston: Schools close, roads disappear, grown men weep...
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Tom Brandston: Hands tell a story, and these hands say... happy funny sun time.
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Chad Symmonz: Let's take a ride on our 3-D dopelar radar!
Tom Brandston: It's doplar, you moron.
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Principal Ken Weaver: [singing] Oh, there's no snow for you, oh, there's no snow for you... nothing but blue skies for meeeee! Oh, you're going to school, oh, you're going to school!
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Chuck Wheeler: What are you looking at?
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Laura Brandston: What I miss?
Randy Brandston: I can stick my whole fist in my mouth, wanna see?
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Laura Brandston: I'm a terrible mother, I admit it...
Randy Brandston: Right again.
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[after being told that if he eats too much snow, he'll have to go to the bathroom]
Wayne Alworth: Aw, man! I gotta whizz!
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Natalie Brandston: I really don't like him...
Hal Branston: He's not a fun guy...
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Hal Branston: Rain, sleet, or... what was the other one Mr. Aberman?
Mailman Herbert: Everybody makes fun of the mailman...
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Principal Ken Weaver: Must have the courage of ten principals, must get home.
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Randy Brandston: Mrs. Hufner tells us the story about the poky little puppy.
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Random Claire-Stock Attendee: I love you, Claire; I want to stroke your hair.
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Roger the Snowplowman: That'll do ya.
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Roger the Snowplowman: Hey, get out of my plow!
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Chuck Wheeler: Say hi to Greg, he'll be hurting you today.
Greg: Hi there!
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Maltar: Where in the name of the Seven Seas are you going?
Natalie Brandston: The kitchen... I'm going to make myself a grilled cheese sandwich.
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Tom Brandston: You're a fraud.
Chad Symmonz: And you're a joke, Tom.
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Chuck Wheeler: What kind of gum do you chew? What kind of bogus question is that?
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Tom Brandston: It's amazing what some kid's will do just to earn a merit badge.
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Wayne Alworth: Welcome to the Chuck n' Wayne House of Pain!
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Roger the Snowplowman: The kids really love to toot the horn.
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Chuck Wheeler: You're in luck, the House of Pain now delivers
[grabs shovel]
Chuck Wheeler: .
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Hal Branston: Wasn't it you who said that true love is all about finding someone you can stand to be around for 10 minutes at a time?
Lane Leonard: Yeah.
Hal Branston: You got 10 minutes?
[Hal and Lane kiss]
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Lane Leonard: Love isn't about fate and magic bracelets and destiny. It's about finding someone you can stand to be around for 10 minutes at a time.
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Roger the Snowplowman: Give me the bird!
Natalie Brandston: The Wayne!
Roger the Snowplowman: The bird!
Natalie Brandston: [shouts, louder] The Wayne!
Roger the Snowplowman: [also shouts louder] The bird!
Snow Day Quotes
Extended Reading
