Snakes on a Plane Quotes

Neville Flynn: ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

[the terrified passengers on the plane turn to Neville]

Neville Flynn: I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLANE!

Neville Flynn: So, uh, you are pretty good at this game, right?

Troy: Yes, man. No problem. Well, I mean, my older brother Randy has got the high score, but I'm good. Asshole never lets me hear the end of it.

Sean Jones: Flynn, it's too hot.

Neville Flynn: I'm from Tennessee. I hadn't noticed.

Neville Flynn: Hey, hey, hey, we have to figure something out.

Rick: All right. Well, I know what I gotta do. We're in a 200-foot aluminum tube and we're 30,000 feet in the air. And any one of those slimy little pieces of shit can trip a circuit or a relay or a hydraulic and this bird goes down faster than a Thai hooker. So my job is to keep LAX informed on how totally screwed we are, and then find some way to keep this mother in the sky another two hours. Figure that out.

Rick: You don't think I know it's hotter than hell in here? We also have abnormal vibrations in engines one and two. I had no choice but to throttle back.

Neville Flynn: You slowed down?

Rick: Yeah. Well, you know. It's that or option B.

Claire Miller: Which is?

Rick: I go faster and the engines seize up; We eventually plummet to a horrible death; They spend the next year identifying femurs.

Rick: Oh, my. I was hoping you'd be the sky-candy on this flight. You're looking especially delicious this evening.

Claire Miller: I love it when you demean me, Rick.

Rick: My pleasure.

[last lines]

Sean Jones: Do you remember the first thing you ever told me?

Neville Flynn: What the fuck's that got to do with anything?

Sean Jones: What was the first thing you ever told me?

Neville Flynn: Do as I say and you live.

Sean Jones: Exactly. Now it's your turn. Do as I say, and you'll live.

[they start surfing]

[first lines]

Daniel Hayes: [to Sean] Go, get outta here. Go!

[repeated line]

Neville Flynn: Do as I say, and you live.

Claire Miller: [to the wounded Rick] You sure you can fly this thing with one hand?

Rick: Honey, you'd be surprised at what a man can do with one hand.

Ken: [while examining bite wound on Leroy's buttocks] All right, we have to - we have to suck out the poison.

Troy: Man, I ain't sucking nothing.

Ken: Ok, I'll do it.

Big Leroy: What? Oh, there will be no sucking. Man, Troy, get this guy away from my ass!

Big Leroy: [seeing Maria sucking the venom out of Tommy's wound] That's what I'm talking about.

Troy: I got bit, too.

Sean Jones: Never flown first class before.

Neville Flynn: See, things are looking up already.

Neville Flynn: You know all those goddamn security scenarios we ran? Well, I'm stuck in the middle of one we didn't think of.

Hank Harris: What the hell you talking about?

Neville Flynn: Eddie Kim somehow managed to fill the plane with poisonous snakes.

Hank Harris: Wait, hold on. What kind of insane plan is that? He can't possibly guarantee that the snakes are gonna get to Sean.

Neville Flynn: Yeah, well, he doesn't have to guarantee it if he brings down the whole plane down.

Mercedes Harbont: Why don't we just take a picture?

Paul: Oh, sure, let's drop it off at Jiffy Photo when we land, Einstein.

Mercedes Harbont: Ever heard of e-mail, dick-wad?

Troy: This is your new pilot Troy speaking, and sitting next to me is my main man, my brother from another mother, the biggest pimp that I know, Superfly Agent Flynn. Ladies and gentlemen, Agent Flynn.

Emmett Bradley: Sir, have you got any experience piloting a jet aircraft?

Troy: Oh, yeah. F-15's, F-16's, A-10 Warthogs, I've flown all that shit.

Emmett Bradley: Then we're all thankful to have you, sir. What squadron were you with?

Troy: The Awesome Fighting Aces.

Troy: [to Flynn] Man, I'm telling you, them video games got their shit locked down tight.

Emmett Bradley: Sir, are you telling me that your only real flight time is at the controls of a video game?

Troy: No, see, it's - it's not a video game, all right? It's a flight simulator.

Neville Flynn: Is that PlayStation or Xbox?

Troy: PlayStation 2. Man, it's got an introduction by Chuck Yeager and everything.

Neville Flynn: Everybody strap in.

[pulls out his gun]

Neville Flynn: I'm about to open some fucking windows!

[alternate line for television]

Neville Flynn: Enough is enough! I have had it with these mother-fucking snakes on this mother-fucking plane!

Emmett Bradley: You try to land west to east you'll come in too fast to control.

Troy: Well I suggest you speed up clearing the rest of the runways cause my ass is coming in for a landing!

Neville Flynn: I need you to stay up here.

Sean Jones: Why?

Neville Flynn: Because if you die, then all of this was for nothing.

Claire Miller: I'm sorry but first class is overbooked, but there is plenty of room to stretch out in coach which is only half-full.For the inconvenience we would like to offer you this travel voucher which is good on any date for any South Pacific Airlines flight.

Paul: Hmm, and this travel voucher won't help get me to my meeting on time, will it?

Claire Miller: Sir, I'm pretty sure that coach gets to Los Angeles about the same time that first class does.

Paul: Funny. Does my Senior Reward membership come with your sarcasm, or should I speak with your supervisor... Claire?

[walks into the plane]

Claire Miller: This had better be a matter of national security,

Mercedes Harbont: Did I just hear right that there's no first class?

Claire Miller: Yes, only coach.

Mercedes Harbont: Is it safe back there?

Tiffany: [after a pause] Yes, yes, it is totally safe there.

Air Traffic Control: [Negotiating on landing the plane] You try to land west to east, you'll come in too fast to control.

Troy: Well I suggest you speed up clearing the rest of the runways, cause my ass is coming in for a landing!