-
Cristal Connors: There's always someone younger and hungrier coming down the stairs after you.
-
Tony Moss: I'm erect. Why aren't you erect?
-
Nomi Malone: I get a headache from champagne.
Cristal Connors: This isn't champagne. This... is HOLY WATER. I named myself after this holy water. Chrissie Lou Connors used to have dingy brown hair and little bitty tits. It's amazing what paint and a surgeon can do.
[they clink champagne glasses]
Cristal Connors: You have great tits. They're really beautiful.
Nomi Malone: Thank you.
Cristal Connors: I like nice tits. I always have, how about you?
Nomi Malone: I like having nice tits.
Cristal Connors: How do you like having 'em?
Nomi Malone: What do you mean?
Cristal Connors: You know what I mean.
Nomi Malone: I like having them in a nice dress, or a tight top.
Cristal Connors: Mmmm. You like to show em off.
Nomi Malone: I didn't like showing them off at the Cheetah.
Cristal Connors: Why not? I liked lookin' at 'em there. We ALL liked lookin' at 'em there!
Nomi Malone: It made me feel like a hooker.
Cristal Connors: You *are* a whore, darlin'.
Nomi Malone: No I'm not!
Cristal Connors: We all are. We take the cash, we cash the check, we show 'em what they wanna see.
Nomi Malone: Maybe YOU are a whore, Cristal, but I'm not.
Cristal Connors: You and me, we're exactly alike.
Nomi Malone: [shakes her head] I'll NEVER be like you.
-
Zack Carey: Why did you stop hooking? You had your future pretty well mapped out for yourself
Nomi Malone: I did what I had to do.
Zack Carey: Just like you did with Cristal.
Nomi Malone: I'm not a whore.
Zack Carey: No... you're not. You're gonna be a big star. Your face is gonna be up on billboards. You're gonna make a lot of money for the Stardust.
Nomi Malone: What about Molly?
Zack Carey: You like her, I'll make sure he gives her enough money, she can have a dress shop. Tell me something, how much did you charge?
[Nomi is confused]
Zack Carey: Hooking
Nomi Malone: Fifty. Hundred sometimes.
Zack Carey: You got low self-esteem baby, you're a fantastic fuck.
[Nomi spits in his face]
-
Nomi Malone: Are you hitting on me?
Molly Abrams: No. You're not a hooker, are you?
-
Al Torres: It must be weird, not having anybody cum on you.
-
Tony Moss: You got something wrong with your nipples?
Nomi Malone: No.
Tony Moss: They're not sticking up. Stick 'em up.
Nomi Malone: What?
Tony Moss: Play with them. Pinch 'em a little. You want me to do it for ya? I'll do it.
-
Nomi Malone: Don't they have brown rice and vegetables?
Cristal Connors: Do you like brown rice and vegetables?
Nomi Malone: Yeah.
Cristal Connors: You do?
Nomi Malone: Sort of.
Cristal Connors: Really?
Nomi Malone: It's worse than dog food.
[Cristal laughs]
Nomi Malone: It is!
Cristal Connors: I've had dog food.
Nomi Malone: You have?
Cristal Connors: Mmm-hmmm. Long time ago. Doggy Chow. I used to love Doggy Chow.
Nomi Malone: I used to love Doggy Chow, too!
[Cristal and Nomi touch their chips together]
-
Gay Carpenter: You do eat brown rice and vegetables, don't you?
-
Gay Carpenter: What do you want?
Nomi Malone: Um, burger, fries, and a soda.
Gay Carpenter: Get her some brown rice, vegetables, and a bottle of Evian.
-
Nomi Malone: You can't touch me, but I can touch you. I'd really love to touch you.
-
Al Torres: You're a fucking stripper, don't you get it?
Nomi Malone: I'm a dancer.
-
James Smith: Now wait a minute. Listen, just listen. Man you've got more talent when you dance than anybody I've ever seen. And I've seen a lot of dancers. I studied at New York... Alvin Ailey. You burn when you dance.
Nomi Malone: But you said I couldn't.
James Smith: Well you've got to hold some of it in, and dancing ain't fucking.
Nomi Malone: What's that? More wisdom? I know that!
James Smith: No you don't. You dance like when you fucked that guy last night.
Nomi Malone: What guy?
James Smith: That guy with the chick. You took 'em in the back.
Nomi Malone: I didn't fuck him.
James Smith: Yes you did, you fucked him and her.
Nomi Malone: Are you following me around? I didn't fuck anybody, I was just...
James Smith: I saw you! Man everybody got AIDS and shit. You know, what is it that you think you do? You fuck 'em without fucking them, that's what you do! Well it ain't right! You've got too much talent for it to be right!
[Nomi hits James]
Nomi Malone: Get out of here!
James Smith: Bitch, I'm tellin' you the truth! You want me to go? I'm out of here!
-
Nomi Malone: [whispering to Molly] I just went to Carver... and I kicked the shit out of him!
-
Nomi Malone: Hi, my name is Heather.
Cristal Connors: Hey Nomi. I love your nails. We'd like you to have a private dance with both of us.
Nomi Malone: We don't do that. One at a time. No women.
Cristal Connors: A hundred dollars.
Nomi Malone: Sorry. That's the rules.
Cristal Connors: Two hundred. You just do Zack and I'll watch.
[Nomi shakes her head no]
Cristal Connors: Five hundred.
-
James Smith: I have a problem with pussy. I always have, and I'm always gonna.
-
Nomi Malone: You guys just sit over there and I'll change the music.
-
Tony Moss: Okay ladies, I'm Tony Moss. I produce this show. Some of you have probably heard that I'm a prick - I am a prick. I got one interest here, and that's the show. I don't care whether you live or die. I want to see you dance and I want to see you smile. I can't use you if you can't smile, I can't use you if you can't show, I can't use you if you can't sell.
-
[repeated line]
Nomi Malone: It doesn't suck.
-
Henrietta Bazoom: The Farmer in the Dell, The Farmer in the Dell, I had a cherry once, and now it's gone to hell.
-
James Smith: Life sucks. Shit happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
-
Tony Moss: Cristal Connors is a star, Sam. You can't just replace her.
Phil Newkirk: What if we could just bring somebody in while she's recuperating?
Tony Moss: She could be out for a year, Phil.
Zack Carey: Like who?
Phil Newkirk: Janet Jackson, Paula Abdul.
Tony Moss: Paula Abdul, in my show?
Mr. Karlman: I'm not going to pay those kind of salaries!
Zack Carey: Well, in that case, Mr. Karlman, we do what we do in Vegas.
Mr. Karlman: What?
Zack Carey: We gamble.
-
Jeff: You gamble?
Nomi Malone: No.
Jeff: Well you gotta gamble if you're gonna win.
Nomi Malone: I'm gonna win.
-
Casino Lecher: You lose all of your money, honey? Do you wanna make some more? It won't take you any longer than 15 minutes. Sooner or later you're gonna have to sell it.
-
Nomi Malone: Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. The fucker left.
Molly Abrams: Hey, that's my car. Stop it!
Nomi Malone: I want my fucking suitcase.
Molly Abrams: Get the fuck off my car!
-
Nomi Malone: Fucker! Fuck off!
-
[about Zack Carey who's driving a Ferrari]
James Smith: What is he? Pimp? Only people I know got pimp cars are pimps.
Nomi Malone: He's the entertainment director.
James Smith: That's exactly what I said - he's a pimp!
-
[Repeated line]
Cristal Connors: Hey darlin.
-
Zack Carey: Well, have some lobster... Hey, did you ever hear Caesar sing? You'll love it.
-
Cristal Connors: I'm gettin' a little too old for that whorey look.
-
Cristal Connors: You fuck him for the spot? Or you fuck him cause you wanted to? I say you did it for the spot.
Nomi Malone: Is that what you did, Cristal?
Cristal Connors: You don't want to piss me off, darlin', now that we're friends.
Nomi Malone: No... You shouldn't get pissed off. Makes you look older!
[Nomi pinches Cristal's cheek]
-
[last lines]
Jeff: Oh, fuck! It's you!
[Nomi pulls out her switchblade]
Nomi Malone: I want my fucking suitcase... asshole!
-
Zack Carey: Are you afraid? Don't be.
Nomi Malone: I'm not. I liked it when you came. I liked your eyes.
-
Nomi Malone: Dancing ain't fucking, right?
James Smith: Yeah, yeah, that's right.
Nomi Malone: See ya.
-
Nomi Malone: I got my period.
James Smith: Yeah, right.
Nomi Malone: Check.
[James puts his hand down Nomi's pants]
-
Nomi Malone: You can fuck me when you love me.
James Smith: But I do love you!
Nomi Malone: Yeah ,right.
James Smith: You don't fool me. I see you.
Nomi Malone: What do you see?
James Smith: I see you hiding.
Nomi Malone: From what?
James Smith: From you. - - You got into some bad shit someplace, didn't you?
-
Nomi Malone: You got me the audition, didn't you?
Cristal Connors: Uh-huh.
Nomi Malone: Why?
Cristal Connors: Maybe I like the way you dance. Maybe I like you, anyway, what difference does it make?
Nomi Malone: Did you enjoy that out there?
Cristal Connors: [smiling] Yeah darlin', I think I did.
Nomi Malone: I hate you.
Cristal Connors: I know.
[She hands Nomi a tissue]
Cristal Connors: Here, wipe your nose.
-
Molly Abrams: My right hand is so tight I can barely thread a needle!
Nomi Malone: Then use the left one!
Molly Abrams: For threading a needle?
-
Nomi Malone: I gotta go.
Cristal Connors: Aren't you gonna come here and give me a big kiss?
[Nomi and Cristal kiss]
Cristal Connors: Bye darlin.
Nomi Malone: Bye darlin.
-
Annie: Molly, they're going to see a smiling snatch if you don't fix this g-string.
-
Annie: Julie, you fucking slut, you touch my make-up again and I'll fucking kill you.
Julie: Oh, I'm a slut? Well, you fucked that kid from the pizza place!
Annie: Well, you fucked the meter reader!
Julie: Bitch!
Annie: Oh, you're fucking dead!
-
Mr. Karlman: We could have brought anyone into this show: Janet Jackson, Paula Abdul. Nomi Malone is what Las Vegas is all about! She's dazzling, she's exciting, and very, very sexy!
-
[sings]
Party Singer: Should we walk into the wind? Maybe fall when autumn falls? Let's walk into the wind. You have to learn to touch, by touching. Touch me, touch me if you can. We've reached the end of the beginning, in this beatnik love affair...
-
[after Zack's lap dance, to Zack]
Cristal Connors: Can you walk?
-
Nomi Malone: Where are the police?
Zack Carey: They're not here.
Nomi Malone: Why the fuck aren't they here?
Zack Carey: Because they're not coming!
[Nomi goes to a pay-phone]
Zack Carey: Don't do it... Polly.
[Nomi puts down the receiver]
Nomi Malone: How did you find out?
Zack Carey: You were busted for disturbing the peace at the Crave Club. The police took your fingerprints.
Nomi Malone: I don't have to listen to this.
Zack Carey: Yes you do! Polly-Ann Costello. Your father killed your mother and then killed himself.
-
Cristal Connors: Your friend has nice nails.
Molly Abrams: She does them herself.
Cristal Connors: Maybe she can do mine sometime.
-
Cristal Connors: Molly, this top is way too tight. My breasts are just getting crushed in here.
Molly Abrams: I can loosen it for you.
Cristal Connors: Okay... To about here... Maybe... No, no a little less. I want my nipples to press, but I don't want them to look like they're levitatin'!
-
Cristal Connors: Where do you dance at, darlin'?
Nomi Malone: Um... at the Cheetah.
Cristal Connors: I don't know how good you are, darlin', and I don't know what it is you're good at, but if it's at the Cheetah, it's not dancing, I know that much.
Nomi Malone: You don't know shit!
-
Nomi Malone: Hello? Anybody here?
Cristal Connors: Back here.
Nomi Malone: What are you doing here?
Cristal Connors: What am I doing here?
[Cristal sniffs cocaine]
Cristal Connors: I'm doin' some of the finest cocaine in the world, darlin'. You want some?
[Nomi shakes her head]
Nomi Malone: Mm-mmm.
Cristal Connors: It's great for the muscles. I told Marty I'd work on your turns with you, darlin', but I'm feelin' a little turned inside out myself today.
Nomi Malone: Cut the shit.
Cristal Connors: [smiling] OK. We got off on the wrong foot. Wanna start dancin' all over again?
Nomi Malone: Why?
Cristal Connors: Why not? Wanna go down to Spago, get somethin' to eat?
Nomi Malone: Where is it?
Cristal Connors: [sarcastically] Just down from Ver-sayce.
Nomi Malone: It's Versace.
Cristal Connors: Ohhhhh, yeah.
Nomi Malone: Yeah.
-
Molly Abrams: Where are you from?
Nomi Malone: Back East.
Molly Abrams: From where back East?
Nomi Malone: Different places!
-
Molly Abrams: Jerk, you don't have to be at work for three hours. What are you going to do, watch TV and eat chips?
Nomi Malone: Yeah. Where are the chips? You ate them, didn't you?
-
Al Torres: If you want to last longer than a week, you give me a blow-job. First I get you used to the money, then I make you swallow.
Penny/Hope: Is he serious?
-
Henrietta Bazoom: Honey, you could never handle me with all these wrinkles of fat. Why, you'd never find the thing. I'd have to piss on you to give you a clue.
-
Tony Moss: Come back when you've fucked some of this baby fat off. See ya.
-
Gay Carpenter: If you're smart - and I was smart - you'll figure out a job and a man for later on.
-
Tony Moss: How did she do?
Marty Jacobsen: She's no butterfly. Tony, she's all pelvic thrust. I mean, she prowls. She's got it!
Tony Moss: I wonder how she got it?
Marty Jacobsen: Well, she certainly didn't learn it.
Tony Moss: She learned it alright; but, they didn't teach it in any class.
-
Cristal Connors: You wanna dance?
Nomi Malone: Right now?
Cristal Connors: It's now or never, that's what Elvis said.
-
Cristal Connors: Oh, you know the best advice I ever got? You're up there on stage, hopin' on a spot. If someone gets in your way, step on 'em. If you're the only one left standing there, they hire you. That's about it. Thank you and good night, ladies and gentlemen. Elvis has left the building.
-
Zack Carey: I got an MBA for this?
-
Henrietta Bazoom: She looks better than a ten-inch dick and you know it!
-
Henrietta Bazoom: She misses us like that lump on my twat I had taken off last week.
-
Nomi Malone: I like your songs.
Andrew Carver: Thank you. You know, um, I like your ass. Call me.
-
Goddess Dancer: You want a knuckle sandwich?
Felix: Oh, can I have mine anally, please?
-
Nomi Malone: You need more pink.
Penny/Hope: Oh, thanks, Heather.
-
Gay Carpenter: Wait, you need more orange!
-
Tony Moss: What are these, watermelons? This is a stage, babe, it's not a patch. See ya.
-
Tony Moss: Can you MGM backwards? I bet you can't.
Spelling Dancer: MGM!
Tony Moss: I'm impressed!
-
Tony Moss: One day she looks like Pollyanna, the next day she looks like... I don't know... Lolita, maybe.
[Nomi giggles]
Tony Moss: Nice dress.
Nomi Malone: Thanks, I bought it at Ver-sayce.
[silence]
Nomi Malone: In the Forum?
Tony Moss: Oh, yeah, Ver-sayce. I love Ver-sayce.
Nomi Malone: Me, too!
-
Cristal Connors: You fucked her, didn't you?
Zack Carey: Does that piss you off because you're jealous, Cris? Or because I beat you to the punch?
-
Zack Carey: Nice dress.
Nomi Malone: Thanks. It's a Ver-sayce.
Zack Carey: It's "Versace".
Nomi Malone: What?
Zack Carey: It's Versace. It's pronounced "Versace".
Nomi Malone: Oh.
Zack Carey: You have great taste and you look beautiful.
-
James Smith: You don't want to be in this kind of show. What you're doing, at least it's honest. They want tits and ass, you give 'em tits and ass. Here, they pretend they want something else, and you still show them tits and ass.
-
Marty Jacobsen: Higher! Not that high. Stay in sync. One-two-three! And thrust it, thrust it, THRUST IT, COME ON, THRUST IT! AH! Ok, that's enough! Thank you, ladies.
-
[from the NC-17 theatrical trailer]
Nomi Malone: It's not fair!
Zack Carey: It's not about fair. It's about power.
-
Andrew Carver: Black pussy!
-
Cristal Connors: It's amazing what paint and a surgeon can do.
-
[first lines]
Jeff: Hop in, pard!
Nomi Malone: Where are you going?
Jeff: Vegas! Come on! This is your lucky day!
-
Zack Carey: Nomi's got heat.
Cristal Connors: Does she now?
Marty Jacobsen: Yes, she does... in a totally different way, of course.
-
Henrietta Bazoom: You know what they call that useless piece of skin around a twat?
[pause]
Henrietta Bazoom: A woman!
-
Nomi Malone: [regarding her nails] Look! NEAT, huh?
-
James Smith: Man, everybody got AIDS and shit!
-
Henrietta Bazoom: You're the only one who can get my tits poppin' right!
-
Gay Carpenter: You guys upstage left, monkey shit!
-
Henrietta 'Mama' Bazoom: What the hell is happening here?
Al Torres: She's going to the STARDUST! She's going to be in the show!
Henrietta 'Mama' Bazoom: Well, la-di-da!
-
Molly Abrams: Who was he?
Nomi Malone: Zack.
Molly Abrams: Oh my god. Did you tie him up?
Nomi Malone: Oh shit.
Molly Abrams: What?
Nomi Malone: I forgot to untie him.
-
Nomi Malone: Julie saw it.
Molly Abrams: Julie couldn't have seen it, I saw Julie and her back was to you.
Nomi Malone: She saw it.
Molly Abrams: Wow. OK.
-
Julie: [to Molly and Nomi, regarding her nemesis Annie] Wouldn't it be great if one night she just fell down the stairs?
-
Tony Moss: What are you doing here?
Nomi Malone: I'm watching you be a prick.
-
Male patron in Cheetah: [to Nomi] I wanna see your ass!
-
Julie: Hey, Nomi. Think I could be your understudy?
Nomi Malone: I'll see what I can do.
Julie: Thanks, Darlin'.
-
Tony Moss: [meeting Nomi for the first time] Hey, Pollyanna.
Nomi Malone: [stunned] What did you call me?
Tony Moss: I said, you look like Pollyanna.
-
Molly Abrams: How did you get out?
Nomi Malone: Him - he bailed me out.
Molly Abrams: How come?
Nomi Malone: I kicked him in the nuts.
Molly Abrams: He liked it?
Nomi Malone: He must've.
-
Carmi: Nomi, do my boobs look any bigger to you?
-
Al Torres: Hope, this is Tiffany, Farrah, Heather, Henrietta.
Penny/Hope: My name isn't Hope. My name is Penny.
Al Torres: They want class, dumb-dumb. They don't want to fuck a Penny. They want to fuck a Heather! Or, a Tiffany. Or, a Hope. This is a class joint.
-
Al Torres: Have you ever done a lap dance before?
Penny/Hope: No.
Al Torres: You got to talk them into it. Fifty bucks a pop, you take 'em in the back. Touch and go. They touch, they go. You can touch them, but, they cannot touch you.
Penny/Hope: Oh, that's good.
Al Torres: Now, if they cum, it's okay. If they take it out, cum all over you, call a bouncer. Unless he gives you a big tip. If he gives you a big tip, it's okay. You got that?
-
Tony Moss: Okay, show me your tits. I got a topless show, for Christ's sake, let me see your tits!
-
Tony Moss: I want to see some attitude! I said attitude! Come on, ladies! Sell! Sell your bodies!
-
James Smith: What are you doin' here?
Nomi Malone: I just did an audition.
James Smith: What? You want to be a Showgirl?
-
James Smith: Come on. Look what you've done. You got me fired again. You're a real bad-ass. You know that? Ain't you got no shame? You know what? Look what a beautiful day it is. The sun is shining, neon's blazin', money's flowing. l'm going to cheer you up. You know that? l'll get you the best meal in town.
-
James Smith: I wrote this number. It's about you.
Nomi Malone: You don't know anything about me.
James Smith: I know you're a private dancer.
-
Nomi Malone: Who you fuck is your business and I'm not making it mine.
-
James Smith: It's not like I'm seeing any money for writing that number. I may as well touch a little pussy.
-
Annie: What are you lookin' at, bitch?
-
Henrietta Bazoom: If a light sleeper can sleep with a light on, can a hard sleeper sleep with a hard on?
-
Cristal Connors: Nobody's going to take my lead anyway, darling. I haven't missed a show in eight years.
Tony Moss: Well, you're not getting any younger, are you?
Cristal Connors: Eat me.
-
Penny/Hope: Do you want something to drink?
James Smith: Yeah, get me a beer, bitch.
-
Tony Moss: We got to shut the show down.
Mr. Karlman: Not a chance. The show goes on! The Stardust is never dark. Its never been. It never will be!
-
Reporter: Miss Malone, how did you feel about the show tonight?
Nomi Malone: I just hope that I can be as good as the show.
Mr. Karlman: You are, my dear. You *are* the show.
-
Phil Newkirk: [Nomi is furious about being propositioned by a casino client at the boat show] You are getting a thousand dollars for this!
Nomi Malone: Yeah, for this! *THIS*!
Showgirls Quotes
Extended Reading
