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Sing: Why do you look like E.T.?
Mui: You said I should get rid of the hair in my eyes.
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Sing: I'm not here to fight. I'm here to play soccer!
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Sing: Phone home like ET, Mui. You don't belong on Earth.
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Sing: [to an enraged Hooking Leg] Please calm down. Anger destroys the soul.
Hooking Leg (Second Brother): Calm down? If I didn't calm down, I would have killed you guys sooner!
[picks up a cleaver]
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[talking to a TV camera]
Sing: I want to say hello to my parents and my Kung Fu master, but they're all dead.
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Sing: [singing] Using Tai Chi Kung Fu to make steamed buns - what a brilliant notion. Fill the pot from heaven with sweet buns; fantastic when done. You're a Kung Fu master, I can see, and your homemade treats look so tasty.
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Sing: [after his team gets brutally beaten by Team Gangster] Why don't you stop them? They're being unlawful!
Golden Leg Fung: I'm the referee! I won't stop them!
Sing: What do you mean by that? You basically want us to die!
Golden Leg Fung: [blows his whistle] You! Out of the game!
Sing: Have you gone nuts?
Golden Leg Fung: This is a test! If none of you can pass it, then you can't play in the soccer league!
Sing: Well, this is a soccer game! This isn't a war!
Golden Leg Fung: The final soccer game is a war.
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Sing: You're beautiful! And a kung fu mahstah... You got it all!
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Sing: I said... that's no way to kick.
Golden Leg Fung: You think you can do better?
Sing: There must exist a fusion of mind and foot.
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Sing: That's a great idea - kung fu soccer! Why didn't I think of that?
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Team Evil Coach Hung: Those American drugs work better than expected.
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Team Gangster Player: My wife needs me. She's about to have a baby.
Sing: Can't she wait till the game's over?
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Golden Leg Fung: [examining Sing's leg] Brother, this is the real deal. It seems like a normal leg... like any other.
Sing: It's Shaolin Mighty Steel Leg. It's patented.
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Iron Shirt Tin (Third Brother): Time is money, don't you know that? I've lost a fortune just talking to you!
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Sing: He'd be great for offense. Trust me. He's very offensive.
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Golden Leg Fung: What if you kick the ball and it hits an aeroplane and comes crashing down? Did you think of that?
Sing: Well, no.
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Golden Leg Fung: I'm sure no one here would cheat, so...
Team Gangster Player: [a wrench falls out of the bottom of his shorts] Oh, excuse me. I'm a mechanic. It's how I earn my living. I always keep this close, you know, so I won't lose it. I'm on call.
[casually puts wrench back in shorts]
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Golden Leg Fung: Do you kick balls or people?
Team Evil Coach Hung: I prefer kicking people.
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Iron Shirt Tin (Third Brother): [dials phone] Hello? Listen, Chun, this is Frog calling. I need to say something that I've been holding inside all these lonely years. The thing is, I love you.
Kung: [man's voice over the phone] This isn't Chun. It's Kung.
Iron Shirt Tin (Third Brother): Oh. I'm sorry, Kung. Just tell your wife what I said and tell her it's from the bottom of my heart. Please.
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Team Puma Leader: It's only an illusion, you can't scare me!
Shaolin Soccer Quotes
Extended Reading
