Rush Hour 2 Quotes

Lee: You are a civilian. In Hong Kong, *I* am Michael Jackson and *you* are Toto.

James Carter: You mean Tito! Toto is what we ate for dinner last night!

James Carter: Who died, Lee?

Lee: You!

James Carter: Detective Yu?

Lee: Not Yu, you!

James Carter: Who?

Lee: You!

James Carter: Who?

Lee: Do you understand the words that are a-coming out of my mouth?

James Carter: Don't nobody understand the words that are comin' out of your mouth.

[during a fight scene with a bunch of Chinese men]

James Carter: [after accidentally punching Lee] Sorry, man!

Lee: Carter!

James Carter: All y'all look alike!

James Carter: Lee, let me introduce you to Carter's new theory of criminal investigation: follow the rich white man.

Lee: Follow the rich white man?

James Carter: Behind every big crime there's a rich white man waiting for his cut.

James Carter: Couldn't help noticin' how she was staring at a brother.

Lee: She never even look at you.

James Carter: You just jealous, Lee, 'cause women like me. I'm tall, dark and hansome and you third world ugly.

Lee: I am not third world ugly, women think I'm cute. Like Snoopy.

James Carter: Lee, Snoopy is 6 inches taller than you.

[Carter throws Lee's CD out the window]

Lee: That's my CD! Don't you ever touch a Chinese man's CD!

[after Isabella kisses Lee]

James Carter: I saw that. You played it smooth too, walkin' away like that.

Lee: Yeah, I'm a player.

[Carter tried to pick up two girls in Chinese]

James Carter: All I did was invite them to have a drink.

Lee: You invited them to get naked and sacrifice a small goat.

James Carter: Which word was 'goat'?

Ricky Tan: I enjoyed that little story you told about the dragon and the treasure. My mother used to tell it to me all the time. Do you know the moral of that story?

Steven Reign: Greed will imprison us all.

[Ricky stabs Reign]

Ricky Tan: I hate that fortune cookie shit.

James Carter: Secret Service Agent James Carter, I like the sound of it. Won't be long before I'm in Washington D.C. protectin' the President.

Lee: We both know you wouldn't take a bullet for someone else.

James Carter: Yeah but they don't know that.

James Carter: Just tell me how the Triads gonna kill us.

Lee: They will torture us for three days.

James Carter: Okay, I can handle that.

Lee: Then they will cut off our eggrolls.

James Carter: Cut off our eggrolls? Hell no! Lets get the hell outta here! C'mon man, don't give up!

James Carter: Why didn't you tell me you had a bomb in your mouth?

Lee: I did.

James Carter: No you did not!

Lee: I said "mmm!"

James Carter: What the hell is "mmm! mmm!"

Lee: mmm, mmm. Bomb!

Lee: I'll meet you at the bar in ten minutes. They don't like tourists in here, so try to blend in.

James Carter: Blend in? I'm two feet taller than everyone in here.

[Carter attempted to speak Chinese to everybody but had no idea what he said]

James Carter: What did I just say?

Lee: You just ask everybody to pick up their Samurai swords and shave your butt.

Lee: That's Ricky Tan.

James Carter: That's Ricky Tan? Man, that's a midget in a bathrobe!

Lee: Just follow my lead. Act like a tourist.

James Carter: I am a tourist, fool!

Lee: Stop, I'm sick of your bullshit.

James Carter: And I'm sick of you! I'm not the one running up in Karaoke bars full of gangsters. And I'm not the one running up in massage parlors looking for crime lords.

James Carter: [In a casino] I have a dream! That white people, and black people... and even Chinese people, can gamble together without getting different chips!

Audience: [Applause, Cheering]

James Carter: [Sees that Lee no longer needs a distraction] Whoa, whoa, whoa... in the spirit of brotherhood... let's just play craps man.

Lee: I'm sorry.

James Carter: You sorry? I got somebodies old chopsticks stuck up my ass and all you gotta say to me is you sorry?

Lee: Carter, you don't understand.

James Carter: Oh I understand, man. I got knocked off a building, I got beat on, I got stripped butt-naked and you held out on me. I'm outta here.

[about to fight Hu Li]

James Carter: I'm gonna pretend you a man. A very beautiful man with a great body that I'd like to take to the movies.

Lee: These men are Triads. The most deadly gang in China.

James Carter: You think they scare me? I'm from Los Angeles, man. We invented gangs!

Massage Parlor Hostess: You ever have massage by Chinese girl before?

James Carter: No, but I heard it was the bomb.

James Carter: Now why did you say it was a bomb.

Lee: No you said that!

James Carter: No you said it!

Lee: You said that in the hotel room.

James Carter: I said 'she was the bomb'.

Lee: She was the bomb?

[In Cantonese]

Lee: Where did you learn that?

Kenny: Master Ching.

Lee: Master Ching of Hong Kong?

Kenny: No, Freddy Ching on Crenshaw.

Lee: [In English] They're brothers.

Kenny: How you gonna come up in here and jam me up like this James, huh? You embarass me in front of my wife, my kids out there.

James Carter: Kenny you embarassin' yourself, you a black man with a Chinese restaurant on Crenshaw.

[in Cantonese]

Kenny: [pointing to Carter] Why are you hangin' out with 7-11?

Lee: 7-11?

Kenny: Because his mouth never closes.

James Carter: [in English] Hey I heard that!

Lee: I always dreamed of going to Madison Square Gardens, see the Knicks play.

James Carter: New York City?

Lee: First class.

James Carter: The Plaza hotel.

Lee: Maybe some mu shu.

James Carter: I could use another vacation.

Lee: If you reach for that gun, I'll kill you.

Ricky Tan: Aren't you forgetting? I'm already dead.

Isabella: I need your help.

Lee: Last time you needed my help, I woke up in a truck.

Ricky Tan: You Americans are so funny.

James Carter: And you Asians don't hear too well.

James Carter: How come you ain't got no black people performing in this casino? We ain't good enough for you?

Pit Boss: We got Lionel Ritchie!

James Carter: Lionel Ritchie ain't been black since the commodores!

Lee: You still have it?

Kenny: 'Still got my lunch money from the third grade.

Lee: Let me tell you something about Asians, we never panic.

James Carter: Oh yeah, when Godzilla be coming, y'all be trippin': "Giaca! Giaca!"

Massage Parlor Hostess: Follow her to the Quiet Room.

James Carter: Ain't gonna be no quiet room no more.

James Carter: [after Lee kicks Ricky Tan out of a window and onto a cab] Damn! Good kick, Lee.

Lee: It was an accident.

James Carter: That's okay. We'll just say he tried to catch a cab.

[Carter has just been hit on by the gay Versace Salesman]

James Carter: Did you see that?

Lee: He likes you.

James Carter: I ain't shopping with you no more.

Lee: You owe me a copy of the Beach Boy's greatest hits.

James Carter: Don't you go having gettin' an attitude with me Lee. I been here three days and ain't done nothin' but work your cases. The only reason why I'm here in Hong Kong is 'cause you said you was gonna show me a good time. I'm on vacation, man! and I want some mu shu.

Lee: Mushu, you hungry?

James Carter: No, not mushu? MU shu. I want to see some women man. Now, stop playing dumb and take me to the SHU.

James Carter: Whoa, man. I ain't going in there!

Lee: Come on!

James Carter: There's rats in there!

Lee: There's no rats!

James Carter: Look at that rat!

[Lee leaves, and Carter reluctantly follows]

James Carter: [singing] Don't stop till you get enough!

Lee: Carter?

James Carter: Cha-mon!

Lee: Carter!

James Carter: Cha-mon, Lee!

James Carter: [sings] I'll be right back! I'll be right back!

James Carter: Lee, what happened?

Lee: You left me!

James Carter: No, I didn't! I was waitin' up there for you!

James Carter: Throw it Lee!

Lee: Where?

James Carter: Lee Throw it!

Lee: Where?

James Carter: Throw the bomb over the edge! Throw it, throw it! Throw it over the edge!

Lee: No, there's people down there.

James Carter: Lee throw it!

Lee: Carter!

James Carter: Lee!

Lee: Carter!

James Carter: ...Lee!

Lee: Carter!

[running down a Hong Kong street]

James Carter: Out of the way! LAPD!

James Carter: Hey Lee! What are you doing?

Lee: ...Dancing

James Carter: Dancing! Man, im up here working, putting my life on the line, and you up here messing around, dancing with some Bimbo... Does she have a friend?

[outtake, after Ricky Tan falls to his death]

James Carter: Damn! He ain't gonna be in Rush Hour 3.

Suit Salesman: [Carter's walking on the streets of Hong Kong, looking for Heaven on Earth massage parlour] Cheap suits! Cheap suits!

James Carter: How cheap?

Suit Salesman: Cheap suits!

[the Salesman leads Carter inside]

Lee: [exasperated sigh] You will never understand me.

James Carter: You right, because I didn't even understand what you said to me right then!

[Lee and Carter are trying to get a bomb out of Isabella's suite]

James Carter: [to Lee] Kick the door.

Lee: [Lee kicks open the door] No, no, no, no, no.

[takes the bomb from Isabella]

James Carter: [looking at Isabella in her bra and panties] Damn you look fine.

Lee: Carter!

James Carter: Where are you going?

Lee: Bathroom.

James Carter: Well, hurry up. Cause we're going to party. Party!

Captain Chin: [to HKPD officers] Escort Detective Carter to the airport.

Lee: No, I'll take him.

James Carter: [to HKPD officers] *Get* your hands off!

[in Mandarin]

Hu Li: [watching Isabella while carving an apple with a knife] I do not trust her.

Triad: Our orders are to leave her alone.

Hu Li: [puts on a fake smile for Isabella, still speaking in Cantonese] I want to slice those pretty lips off her face. Bury her in the desert with those two cops.

[in English, to Isabella]

Hu Li: Some apple?

Isabella: [takes apple] You'd better put that knife away, bitch, before you have an accident.

[Hu Li throws the knife and hits the apple as Isabella takes a bite]

Lee: I'm not third world ugly, women like me! They think I'm cute, like... Snoopy.

James Carter: Lee, Snoopy is six inches taller than you.

James Carter: [outtake] Kick the door, Jackie!

Lee: Okay, Chris Tucker!

[outtake, cell phone rings and Tucker answers]

James Carter: Hello? I'm filming man. Call me back at 7... I'm filming, I'm looking at Jackie Chan dead in his eye. Call me back.

Lee: [pointing at the camera] We're on a... We're...

James Carter: Call me back!

Lee: Are you a professional? We are filming and you turn on your phone?

James Carter: No, you can't speak to Jackie Chan.

[crew laughter]

James Carter: No! They want to speak to you, Jackie.

Lee: [Tucker hands the phone to Jackie] Hello?

James Carter: I'm sorry about this.

Lee: We're... We're filming right now!

[crew laughter]

Lee: You're sorry? You wasted all our film!

James Carter: [Takes phone back] Call me back later, 7 o'clock!

[Tucker hangs up, crew applause and laughter, Jackie points at Tucker]

[outtake]

James Carter: Gotta be somethin' you want?

Lee: I've always wanted to go to Square Mad - -...

Lee: I always want to go to square... I

[pause]

Lee: Shhhh!

Lee: I've always dreamed to Square Marden...

[Jackie and Chris laugh]

Lee: I always wanted to go to Square 3,2...

[laughing and Jackie tampers]

Lee: Now I'm gone. Now I'm nervous. Every garden I'm nervous! Madison Square Garden.

Lee: I always want to go to Square...

[Jackie and Chris laugh]

[Carter enters the room while Lee is holding Ricky Tan at gunpoint]

James Carter: Hey Ricky, how you doing? Lee, I see you've got everything under control, man, I'm gonna go downstairs and...

[sees Reign's dead body]

James Carter: God damn! What happened to Reign?

Ricky Tan: [while Lee is holding him at gunpoint] Would you like me to tell you how your father died?

[Lee cocks his gun]

James Carter: Hey, hey. Wait one second, Lee. It ain't worth it, man. He's trying to trick you. Don't go too far, man.

Ricky Tan: He never begged for his life. Or tried to make a deal.

James Carter: Put the gun down.

Ricky Tan: All he asked me... just seconds before I pulled the trigger... was that I promise not to kill you. Oh, he was so pathetic.

James Carter: Oh hell no, he done went too far now, Lee. Shoot his ass right now, Lee. Shoot his ass!

Ricky Tan: What are you doing to do, Lee?

James Carter: All you gotta do is pull that trigger back and BAM!

Ricky Tan: Are you going to spend the rest of your life hiding like your father?

James Carter: Man, don't let him talk about your daddy like that! Shoot him, Lee!

Ricky Tan: Can't do it, can you?

James Carter: Yes, hell you can Lee. Ain't nobody up here but us, man.

Ricky Tan: Just as I thought.

James Carter: Go off on him, man, he's trying to punk you! Shoot him!

Ricky Tan: Go on!

James Carter: If you ain't gonna shoot him, kung fu his ass or something!

Captain Chin: Chief Inspector Lee will supervise your people.

Agent Sterling: No, he will report to me. Do we understand each other?

[Lee and Carter pass through the room naked]

Agent Sterling: Who the hell is that?

Captain Chin: That is, uh... Chief Inspector Lee.

James Carter: [Outtake] Damn! He ain't gonna be in Rush Hour 3.

[Carter and Lee Laugh]