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Undercover Officer: You want your son to love you? Don't break the law!
Dennis: Hey! That's entrapment!
[gets pushed to the ground]
Dennis: And that's brutality!
-
Whit: I actually ran the London Marathon
Dennis: Oh that's a coincidence.
Whit: Why's that?
Dennis: Oh, I watched it on the tele... well... the last hour... I sleep in on Sundays.
-
Gordon: Hey I've got you those tickets you wanted...
Dennis: They were for yesterday!
Gordon: Oh so NOW you don't want them?
Dennis: Why would I want them?
Gordon: You could... sell them on e-bay.
Dennis: Who would buy tickets for an event which happened yesterday?
Gordon: ...Time Travellers.
-
Gordon: The only serious relationship I've been in ended in a broken collarbone and a dead meerkat.
-
Whit: I mean, you can see my point can't you?
Dennis: Yes, yes I can.
-
Libby: You can't even finish your sentence!
Dennis: Oh... don't... don't... don't be... what's the word?
Old Lady: Prick.
[in the English version: "Cock."]
-
Dennis: Excuse me, can I just stop you there.
Whit: Yes...?
Dennis: Oh, I don't have anything to say... I just wanted to stop you there.
-
Dennis: I went for a bit of a run this morning and I think I've got a bit of a... rash...
[indicates downwards]
Claire: Yes...
Dennis: Y'know... Down in the...
Claire: [agitated] Yes, yes, I understand.
Dennis: Scrotal Zone.
-
Gordon: Go on then, run!
Dennis: Isn't there some kind of like... special technique?
Gordon: Well... yeah... you put one leg in front of the other over and over again really really fast.
-
Maya: I saw your friend Gordon this morning
Dennis: I'll replace anything he stole.
-
Mr. Ghoshdashtidar: I've got a surprise for you!
Dennis: Oh!... it's not a spatula is it?
-
Gordon: Hey do you think it would be weird if I took a bath?
[pause]
Gordon: Yeah... that would be weird.
-
Gordon: I got you a present
Libby: Aww thanks
Gordon: It's a CD, I hope you haven't got it. Because I don't have a receipt and I didn't exactly buy it.
-
Reporter: Mr Doyle, how do you feel?
Dennis: [exasperated] How the fuck do you think I feel?
-
Gordon: Well come on up!
-
Man in Bakery: I would settle for something shaped like a fish.
Dennis: Go to a fishmonger!
Man in Bakery: I'm a vegetarian.
-
Dennis: You know, I mean, I didn't do you any favours on that day, ok? I did a stupid, stupid thing. But it was only because I thought spoiling your day was better than ruining your life. Does that make any sense?
-
Gordon: That was the second most disgusting fluid I've ever had in my eye.
-
[Mr. Ghoshtashtidar has just stopped Vincent from smashing Gordon's fingers in a piano]
Gordon: Thanks for that, Mr. G!
Mr. Ghoshdashtidar: Your friend is a man of honor.
Gordon: What, Vincent?
Mr. Ghoshdashtidar: Yes! He said he's going to kick shit out of you later instead!
-
[during the race]
Dennis: Isn't it enough?
Whit: What?
Dennis: You got the girl, all right? Isn't it enough?
Whit: I just think it's high time you realized that it's over, sir! Otherwise, it's gonna be very tough for you when we move to Chicago!
Dennis: What?
Whit: [off their pace, trying to discourage Dennis] You'd better slow down there, chief! You've got a long way to go!
Dennis: Yeah, well - so have you!
[Dennis accelerates past Whit]
Whit: Oh, yeah! Yes, I like it! Run, fatboy, run!
[Whit takes his lead back, but as Dennis passes him one more time...]
Dennis: I can lose weight... but you'll always be an arsehole!
-
Gordon: Women remember that stuff.
-
Dennis: [surprised] What are you doing here?
Mr. Ghoshdashtidar: I'm the assistant coach.
Dennis: How'd you get to be assistant coach?
Mr. Ghoshdashtidar: Because I have the spatula!
[whacks Dennis with it]
-
Dennis: I thought it would be a good chance for me to get to know Whit a little better, so...
Libby: Well, maybe we should all go out to dinner then?
Dennis: Really?
Libby: Yeah, and then we could go dancing...
Dennis: You're joking...?
Libby: No, not at all. And afterwards we could come back here and have a threesome.
Dennis: [thinks it over] You *are* joking.
Libby: Of course, I am!
-
Gordon: Dennis, you're my best friend, I'm not going to bet against you. Not with these odds.
-
Gordon: Hey, maybe there's a little man in there who looks just like you but he's really good at running.
Dennis: What are you talking about?
Gordon: Just a thought.
-
Dennis: Peter Perfect's perfect palace.
Gordon: Try saying that when you're smashed.
Dennis: I will.
-
Dennis: We should set the alarm for about 7 o'clock.
Gordon: I don't have an alarm clock.
Dennis: Why not?
Gordon: I never need to be anywhere.
-
Dennis: As you get older, you're gonna realize there are a lot of things that you don't like. Things much worse than this. And when those things happen, you can't just run away.
Jake: why not?
Dennis: Because it doesn't solve the problem. The problem's still there. You've got to stick at it, and then figure out a way to solve the problem, even if it's really really hard.
Jake: Is that what you do, Dad?
Dennis: [just looking helpless and speechless...]
Jake: Dad?
-
Dennis: I know doing this thing isn't going to change anything or make anything better but um. I would just settle for your respect. I'd settle for you smiling about the time we had together and not think it was a waste of time.
-
Whit: Where you goin, where you going? You gotta be kiddin me, Dennis? You can't be serious! The guy left you at the alter, pregnant!
Libby: [Puts Whit's wedding ring on the table] Nobody's perfect.
Whit: Libby, Libby...
Jake: What a shithead.
-
Whit: [At the hospital, after Jake plays with the hospital bed causing it to fall backwards] God dam it WILL YOU STOP MESSING AROUND WITH THE BED YA LITTLE SHIT?
-
Mr. Ghoshdashtidar: [repeated line to Dennis] Who the hell are you?
-
Whit: Jake, buddy, can I control the bed please?
Jake: No, but you can watch me control it.
-
TV Commentator: [Dennis is continuing the marathon into the night on a sprained ankle and torn leg] Just now joining us is Dennis Doyle, a clothing store security guard, running for the last ten and three quarter hours on basically one leg, He's refusing to rest until this race is run, unbelievable!
-
TV Commentator: [It's just been revealed that Whit tripped Dennis during a TV replay of the marathon] Yes! He deliberately trips him! Bastard!
-
TV Commentator: [Dennis just finished the marathon] He's done it! He's actually done it! This morning, Dennis Doyle was a humble shop worker from north London, tonight, he goes home a hero!
Run Fatboy Run Quotes
Extended Reading
