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Annie: I'm the most screwed-up person in the world!
Sarah: You're not even the most screwed-up person in this room!
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Sarah: I didn't come here to tell you that I can't live without you. I can live without you. I just don't want to.
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Katharine: [in the bathroom, after the door hits him Jeff in the face] Jeff...
Jeff: Yeah?
Katharine: Go play with your dick.
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Jeff: [to Sarah in the elevator, after she has apologized] If we have a daughter, Beau Burroughs doesn't come within a thousand miles of her.
Sarah: It stops with me!
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Sarah: ...and you drive *so* slow...
Earl: I only drive slow, sweetheart, because you're in the car
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Beau Burroughs: Life has to be a little nuts sometimes. Otherwise it's just a bunch of Thursdays strung together.
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Sarah: Maybe every girl in my family have to sleep with you.
Beau Burroughs: I don't know if they have to, but they certainly have.
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Katherine: Come on in, I'll put on a pot of Bourbon.
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Katherine: [after revealing a secret to Sarah] You know, I really shouldn't drink this without a mixer.
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Katherine: [about Beau] He's a horny old bastard!
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Katherine: [everyone is breaking down and crying] Am I the only sane one here?
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Katherine: [meeting Jeff] You don't look like a lawyer...
Jeff: You don't look like a Grandma.
Katherine: You ARE a lawyer! Full of shit.
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Aunt Mitzi: "All women become like their mothers; that is their tragedy. No man does; that's his."
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Katharine: Life is short, but marriage is long... so drink up, and it will make it go a hell of a lot faster.
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Aunt Mitzi: [singing] Bloody Mary is the girl I love, bum bum bum, bloody Mary is the girl I love
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Jeff: You know, I never told you this, but they based a movie on my family. Seriously. Titanic. They changed it a little. There's not boat, nothing sank. But I did pose naked for a portrait once.
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Sarah: This isn't The Graduate, this is Deliverance!
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Sarah: If you're gonna marry someone you might as well marry your best friend.
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Jeff: So you're gonna just walk up to him and ask him point-blank?
Sarah: Well, I guess I could walk in and yell "Hey, Dad", and see if he turns around.
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Sarah: I'm not afraid of flying. I love flying. It's crashing I hate. Hate crashing.
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Sarah: I said knock three times!
Jeff: Do you want me to go back out and do it again?
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Earl: There's an old saying: "Nobody comes from Los Angeles. Everybody comes to Los Angeles." But if you do come from Los Angeles, then chances are you come from Pasadena.
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Annie: Scared? Of What? If I was scared, why would I be getting married?
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Sarah: My sister... she bounces.
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Sarah: Am I over-thinking this?
Jeff: You're not under-thinking it.
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Blake Burroughs: Wanna have sex?
Sarah: Excuse me?
Blake Burroughs: No... I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I just, I was looking for my father, this is supposed to be his table but I don't see him anywhere. So, if he comes by, tell him Blake was here for me, would ya?
Sarah: Who is your dad?
Blake Burroughs: Beau Burroughs.
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Katharine: You know, I still pick up the paper every day just to read your obituaries. I'm so thrilled that i'm not in it yet.
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Katherine: You'll find another man to screw things up with in no time.
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Sarah: I love you. I didn't come here to tell you that I can't live without you. I *can* live without you. I just don't want to.
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Woman number 4: We went to Spain last summer, and it's like an entirely different country.
Rumor Has It... Quotes
Extended Reading
