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Cathy: What on Earth would your mother be doing here?
Emery: She worries about me! I'm worried about me too, actually.
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Emery: Read my lips: save the warnings for someone who's not broke!
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Cathy: Why are you so miserable?
Emery: Because I am miserable, you over-Christianized idiot!
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Steve: [discussing the future of the house] No, no, it's coming down in July, and I can't wait. I cannot wait.
Joyce: How can you hate it so much?
Steve: It eats my relatives! Or did you miss that in your research?
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Steve: I've never heard Glenn Miller play out of a flower before.
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Nick: If we find Bolanger we can give him a cup of tea and a good spanking and send him on his way.
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Emery: [stones from the sky have just destroyed his mother's car] Good.
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Cathy: [about Emery's mother, after she has just tried to strangle her] Is she alright?
Nick: You really ARE a good Christian woman, aren't you?
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Cathy: Come on! I have to show you something, it explains so much!
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Joyce: Rose Red is just a dead cell.
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Annie: I've got babies.
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Joyce: Annie Wheaton is the key to unlock Rose Red.
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Annie: No oogyman.
Sister: No boogyman?
Annie: OogyLADY.
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Nick: You'd have thought after all these years, she would've had Rose Red eat at least one half-way decent carpenter.
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Emery: I'm sorry, your call cannot be completed as dialed, just pay your bill and kiss my ass!
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Steve: According to family legend, Uncle Posey had a... thing... for cowboys.
Nick: He liked chaps in chaps. Was he into roping or branding?
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Nick: I'll sleep with Emery, and after midnight we'll raid the fridge. Won't we, Em?
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Joyce: Steve's about as psychic as a ham sandwich.
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Pizza Delivery Guy: Hey, this is some place, huh? Is it haunted?
Emery: Yeah. By the ghosts of delivery men who asked too many stupid questions and never escaped.
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Nick: Rose Red won't let you have what you want, Joyce. It won't let anyone have what they want. Ellen Rimbauer designed it to break hearts as hers was broken, to hurt as she was hurt.
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Steve: How was your day? Or would you prefer I just rolled over and made myself small?
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Emery: Where are Nick and Cathy, they should've been back by now. Why'd she have to go off on her own, anyway? That was extremely stupid!
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Nick: Gosh, the day before summer camp must have been a busy time in the Waterman household.
Emery: Shut up!
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Emery: Oh, no. I don't think so. No, no, no, you wouldn't wanna hear it from me. Every time I open my mouth something wickedy-wickedy-wicked comes out!
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Annie: Bad house! BAD PLACE!
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Joyce: [while surrounded by ghosts] Stay away from meee!
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Cathy: What do roses mean?
Annie: Roses mean... roses mean remember.
Cathy: That's right. Roses mean remember.
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Emery: That's Momma's little scoot-about.
Sister: That's *what*?
Emery: Momma's little scoot-about. Sometimes we scoot-about for ice cream and sometimes we scoot-about to the movies... don't look at me like that.
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[repeated line]
Emery: Not there, not there, not there!
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Emery: [Running out of the house] First thing I want is a morphine milkshake!
Mrs. Kay Waterman: [Unseen] Emery?
Emery: Second thing I wanted...
Mrs. Kay Waterman: [Comes out of a mirror as a ghost now] Come here, Emery! I wanna see if you've been cleaning your nails! I wanna look behind your ears. I wanna look at your teeth. And what about down there? Come to Mommy Emmy! Come to Momma! Have you been doing that nasty thing again? I hear you in your room at night. Mommy hears everything!
Emery: [to Cathy] Help me, for God's sake! Help me!
Cathy: Emery, for once in your miserable life fight her!
Emery: Not there, not there, not there!
Mrs. Kay Waterman: [pulling him back into the mirror] Come to Momma, Emmy. Emers, no! I'll always be there for you. After all I'm your mother!
[Disappears into the mirror]
Emery: Not there!
[Steve pulls Emery out]
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Nick: [as Emery's mother is strangling Cathy] I beg your pardon. Would you mind terribly letting her go?
[Emery's mother doesn't stop]
Nick: I guess not.
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Ellen Rimbauer: How beautiful you are, Rose Red.
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Joyce: Houses... are alive. This is something we know. News from our nerve endings. If we're quiet, if we listen, we can hear houses breath. Sometimes, in the depth of the night, you can even hear them groan. It's as if they were having bad dreams. A good house cradles and comforts, a basd one fills us with instinctive unease. Bad houses hate our warmth and our human-ness. That blind hate of our humanity is what we mean when we use the word 'haunted'.
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Mr. George Wheaton: [to Sissy] Sweetheart, taking Annie into a genuinely haunted house? I mean that's like using your cigarette lighter to see how full your gas tank is!
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Sister: Every time you talk, you say something unpleasant, so just be quiet.
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Joyce: I've got the makings of a good group. But these people are candles. Annie Wheaton's a searchlight. If anyone can wake up Rose Red, she can.
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Emery: [Emery's fridge interior dripping with blood] Save the warnings for someone who's not broke.
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Joyce: I will fight you every step of the process.
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Joyce: The proof is out there.
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Joyce: [Joyce cut her finger and smears blood all over Professor Miller's face] Check yourself into hospital in case you need an AIDS test.
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Emery: If my Mom doesn't hear from me soon, she is really gonna go nuclear.
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Professor Carl Miller: I'm minding my business. As I hope you do yours.
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Nick: What if Rose Red is the equivalent of the Energizer Bunny and keeps growing and growing and growing?
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Nick: Forget round the bend. She's off the planet.
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Joyce: Obtuse? Oh, what a dreadfully big word for a college dropout.
Rose Red Quotes
Extended Reading
