-
Mrs. Atwater: Do you know, when I was a girl I used to read quite a bit.
Brandon: We all do strange things in our childhood.
-
Phillip: Rupert only publishes books *he* likes... usually philosophy.
Janet: Oh. Small print, big words, no sales.
Brandon: Rupert's extremely radical. Do you know that he selects his books on the assumption that people not only can read but actually can think?
-
Rupert Cadell: Brandon's spoken of you.
Janet: Did he do me justice?
Rupert Cadell: Do you deserve justice?
-
Brandon: The good Americans usually die young on the battlefield, don't they? Well, the Davids of this world merely occupy space, which is why he was the perfect victim for the perfect murder. Course he, uh, he was a Harvard undergraduate. That might make it justifiable homicide.
-
Brandon: An immaculate murder. We've killed for the sake of danger and for the sake of killing. We're alive, truly and wonderfully alive.
-
Brandon: Nobody commits a murder just for the experiment of committing it. Nobody except us.
-
Rupert Cadell: Did you think you were God, Brandon?
-
Phillip: I never strangled a chicken in my life!
-
Rupert Cadell: By what right do you dare to say that there's a superior few to which you belong?
-
Brandon: Mrs. Wilson, champagne!
Kenneth: Oh, it isn't someone's birthday, is it?
Brandon: Don't look so worried, Kenneth. It's, uh, really almost the opposite.
-
Brandon: I've always thought that it was out of character for David to drink anything as corrupt as whiskey.
Phillip: Out of character for him to be murdered, too.
-
Rupert Cadell: You're quite a good chicken strangler as I recall.
-
Brandon: Determined to get drunk, aren't you?
Phillip: I am drunk.
Brandon: And just as childish as you were before when you called me a liar.
Phillip: You had no business telling that story.
Brandon: Why did you lie anyway?
Phillip: I had to! Have you ever bothered for just one minute to understand how someone else might feel?
Brandon: I'm not sentimental if that's what you...
Phillip: No, that's not what I mean; but it doesn't matter. Nothing matters... except that Mr. Brandon liked the party. Mr. Brandon gave the party. Mr. Brandon had a delightful evening. Well, I had a rotten evening!
Brandon: Keep drinking, and you'll have a worse morning.
Phillip: At least if I have a hangover, it'll be all mine!
-
Brandon: I've always wished for more artistic talent. Well, murder can be an art, too. The power to kill can be just as satisfying as the power to create.
-
Brandon: It is a little difficult trying to keep up with your romances. After me came Kenneth, now it's David. Why the, the switch from Kenneth to David anyway?
Janet: Obviously I think he's nicer.
Brandon: Well, he's certainly richer.
Janet: That's a new low... even for you, chum.
-
Rupert Cadell: [Phillip and Brandon have been arguing about strangling chickens] Personally, I think a chicken is as good a reason for murder as a blonde, a mattress full of dollar bills or any of the customary, unimaginative reasons.
Janet: Well, now, you don't really approve of murder, Rupert? If I may?
Rupert Cadell: You may... and I do. Think of the problems it would solve: unemployment, poverty, standing in line for theatre tickets... .
-
Rupert Cadell: After all, murder is - or should be - an art. Not one of the 'seven lively', perhaps, but an art nevertheless. And, as such, the privilege of committing it should be reserved for those few who are really superior individuals.
Brandon: And the victims: inferior beings whose lives are unimportant anyway.
Rupert Cadell: Obviously. Now, mind you, I don't hold with the extremists who feel that there should be open season for murder all year round. No, personally, I would prefer to have..."Cut a Throat Week"... or, uh, "Strangulation Day"...
-
[first lines]
Brandon: [David screams, to Phillip] Open it.
[they put David in the trunk and close it]
-
[last lines]
Phillip: They're coming.
-
Rupert Cadell: Well, well, well, Kenneth Lawrence, how you've grown.
Kenneth: Hello, uh, Mr...
Rupert Cadell: Come on, Ken. School's out, you can say it.
Kenneth: Rupert, you're the same as ever. It's awfully good to see you again.
Rupert Cadell: Why?
-
Janet: [referring to Brandon] Why can't he keep his hands off people?
-
Brandon: Now look, I'm not going to get caught because of you or anyone else. Nobody is going to get in my way now.
-
Brandon: What are you doing?
Rupert Cadell: It's not what I'm going to do, Brandon. It's what society is going to do. I don't know what that will be, but I can guess, and I can help. You're going to die, Brandon. Both of you. You are going to die.
[opens a window and fires three shots]
-
Brandon: But why should I want to come back?
Phillip: Yes, why?
Brandon: For the pleasure of our company, or another drink?
Rupert Cadell: That's a very good idea. May I have one for the road?
-
Brandon: That's where we're superior, Phillip. We have courage. Rupert doesn't.
Mrs. Wilson: [placing a tray of food on the table] Mr. Cadell got a bad leg in the war for his courage. And you've got your sleeve in the celery, Mr. Phillip.
-
Brandon: It's only a piece of rope, Phillip, an ordinary household article. Why hide it?
-
Mrs. Wilson: [to Janet] If I were you, I would go easy on the pâté, dear. Calories.
-
Brandon: [handing Kenneth a drink] Would you mind taking this in to Janet?
Kenneth: Sure. Why?
Brandon: No particular reason. I thought you'd like to take it to her. She's in the bedroom.
Kenneth: Then you'd like David to walk in.
Brandon: No, that'd be too much of a shock.
-
Mr. Kentley: [after Rupert dissects the positivities of murder] Probably a symptom of approaching senility, but I must confess I really don't appreciate this morbid humour.
Rupert Cadell: The humour was unintentional.
-
Brandon: It's the darkness that's got you down. Nobody feels really safe in the dark.
-
Brandon: What a lovely evening. Pity we couldn't have done it with the curtains open in the bright sunlight.
-
Rupert Cadell: I don't know what you thought, but I know what you've done. You've murdered! You've strangled a fellow human being who could live and love as you never could. And never will again.
-
Brandon: It's a trifle late for that, don't you think?
-
Phillip: You don't think the party's a mistake?
Brandon: No, it's the finishing touch to our work. It's more. It's the signature of the artists. Not having it would be like, uh...
Phillip: Painting the picture and not hanging it?
Brandon: That's not a good choice of words.
Phillip: It may end up too choice, thanks to the party.
-
Phillip: How did it feel... during it?
Brandon: I don't remember feeling very much of anything... until his body went limp and I knew it was over. I felt tremendously exhilarated. How did you feel?
-
Brandon: [referring to his nearly empty glass of champagne] Kenneth, there's too much air in your glass.
-
Mrs. Wilson: Mr. Cadell got a bad leg in the war for his courage. And you've got your sleeve in the celery, Mr. Phillip.
-
Brandon: There's champagne in the icebox.
Mrs. Wilson: Oh, we're not giving them champagne?
Brandon: We are.
Mrs. Wilson: Oh, well, it's going to be that kind of party. I'd better doll up a little.
-
Phillip: He's dead and we've killed him; but, he's still here.
-
Phillip: You frighten me. You always have, from that very first day in prep school. Part of your charm, I suppose.
-
Brandon: That's the difference between us and the ordinary men, Phillip. They talk about committing the perfect crime, but nobody does it.
-
Brandon: You're not frightened anymore, are you, Phillip?
Phillip: No.
Brandon: Not even of me?
Phillip: No.
Brandon: That's good.
Phillip: You just astound me, as always.
Brandon: That's even better.
-
Brandon: We agreed there was only one crime either of us could commit. The crime of making a mistake. Being weak is a mistake.
Phillip: Because it's being human?
Brandon: Because it's being ordinary.
-
Janet: Hello, ducks. Angel!
[hugs Brandon]
Janet: Be careful of my hair, it took hours. You smell dreamy. What is it?
Brandon: That swill you gave me last Christmas.
Janet: I always knew I had good taste.
-
Brandon: You look lovely.
Janet: I won't by the time it's all paid for.
[Brandon laughs]
Janet: Was that funny? I never know when I'm being funny. Whenever I try to be, I lay the bomb of all time.
-
Kenneth: How's the new job?
Phillip: What are you doing?
Janet: Writing that same dreary column on how to keep the body beautiful.
Phillip: For whom this time?
Janet: Oh, an untidy little magazine known as 'Allure'.
-
Janet: I could really strangle you, Brandon.
Brandon: What have I done now?
Janet: At times, your sense of humor is a little too malicious, chum.
-
Janet: Why did you invite Kenneth?
Brandon: Why not?
Janet: You know perfectly well why not. We called it quits ages ago and I'm practically engaged to his best friend.
Brandon: David?
Janet: Yes, David. Which makes everything just ginger-peachy.
-
Janet: How many years has it been since I said, "Oh, it tickles"? And don't you tell me.
-
Janet: May I use the phone?
Brandon: Of course. It's in the bedroom.
Janet: How cozy.
-
Brandon: Kenneth, there's too much air in your glass.
-
Mrs. Wilson: You'd better get along with the carving. The rest of the things'll be here in two shakes.
-
Rupert Cadell: Brandon, exactly what is this?
Brandon: A cassone I got in Italy.
Rupert Cadell: No, no, I mean why are we eating off it?
Brandon: Oh, I've turned the dining room into a library.
Rupert Cadell: Trust you to find a new use for a chest. One was always turning up in the bedtime stories he told in prep school. 'The Mistletoe Bough', that was always your favorite tale, wasn't it?
Janet: What was that one about? I don't remember exactly how it started. It was about a lovely young girl...
Mr. Kentley: She was a bride-to-be. And on her wedding day, she playfully hid herself in a chest.
Rupert Cadell: Yes, that's right.
Mr. Kentley: Unfortunately, it had a spring lock. Fifty years later, they found her skeleton.
Janet: I don't think I'll get that playful.
-
Mrs. Atwater: I have a confession to make. You know, I think I like Mason as much as Errol Flynn?
Janet: I'll take Cary Grant, myself.
Mrs. Atwater: Oh, so will I! Capricorn, the goat. He *leaps* divine! So much... Mmm!
-
Mrs. Atwater: He was thrilling in that new thing with Bergman. What was it called now? "The Something of the Something." No, no, that's the other one. This was just plain "Something." You know, it was sort of - you know?
Rupert Cadell: Right - right on the tip of my tongue.
Janet: Mine, too. It was just plain "Something." I'm sure. I adored it.
-
Rupert Cadell: I once went to the movies. I saw Mary Pickford.
Mrs. Atwater: I was *mad* about her! Didn't you love her?
Rupert Cadell: The Virgo type, rather, like all of these...
Mrs. Atwater: Well, what did you see her in?
Rupert Cadell: I don't quite recall. "The Something Something." Or was it just plain "Something"? Really something rather like that.
-
Janet: How queer.
-
Janet: There must be a reason. Freud says there's a reason for everything. Even me.
-
Janet: Rupert, you're the end!
-
Rupert Cadell: Sorry, knives may not be used on hotel employees. They are in the "death by slow torture" category. Along with bird lovers, small children, and tap dancers.
-
Brandon: The few are those men of such intellectual and cultural superiority that they're above the traditional moral concepts. Good and evil, right and wrong, were invented for the ordinary, average man, the inferior man, because he needs them.
Mr. Kentley: Then obviously you agree with Nietzsche and his theory of the superman.
Brandon: Yes, I do.
Mr. Kentley: So did Hitler.
Brandon: Hitler was a paranoiac savage. His supermen, all fascist supermen, were brainless murderers. I'd hang any who were left. But then, you see, I'd hang them first for being stupid. I'd hang all incompetents and fools anyway. There are far too many in the world.
Mr. Kentley: Then, perhaps you should hang me, Brandon.
-
Brandon: Perhaps what is called "civilization" is hypocrisy.
-
Rupert Cadell: You were really pushing your point rather hard. You aren't planning to do away with a few inferiors, by any chance?
Brandon: I'm a creature of whim. Who knows?
-
Brandon: Kenneth, why don't you switch on the radio or play some records? A little atmospheric music goes a long way.
-
Janet: My chin was about an inch from the ground. I just couldn't be the gay girl.
-
Janet: Why can't he keep his hands off people?
-
Janet: I might have known you couldn't just give a party for Mr. Kentley. No, you'd have to add something that appealed to your warped sense of humor. Well, I hope you've enjoyed yourself, Brandon.
-
Rupert Cadell: What is going on here?
Phillip: A party.
Rupert Cadell: Yes, but a rather peculiar party. What's it all about, Phillip?
Phillip: What's what all about? Stop playing Crime and Punishment, Rupert.
-
Rupert Cadell: You're more than usually allergic to the truth tonight, Phillip.
-
Janet: You wouldn't know me these days. I'm a new woman. Punctual as a clock.
Mrs. Atwater: That's very unfeminine, my dear.
Mr. Kentley: Perhaps, but I prefer manners to femininity.
-
Phillip: Prying? Snooping? Or just plain pumping?
-
Mrs. Wilson: Well, I'm off. Enjoy yourselves. Don't forget to write. And mind your P's and Q's.
-
Brandon: Another drink?
Rupert Cadell: Well, that's a very good idea. May I have one for the road?
Brandon: Of course. A short one?
Rupert Cadell: No, I'd prefer a long one if you don't mind.
-
Brandon: I'm not interested in Janet's prattle, but you always interest me, Rupert.
-
Phillip: Cat and mouse! Cat and mouse!
Brandon: Phillip!
Phillip: Which is the cat and which is the mouse?
-
Rupert Cadell: Oh, you're as romantic as Janet.
-
Phillip: You made me do it and I hate you. I hate both of us!
-
Rupert Cadell: There must have been something deep inside you from the very start that let you do this thing.
Rope Quotes
Extended Reading
