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Robot: Hello, Frank. It is a pleasure to meet you.
Frank: How do you know?
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Frank: I hate hikes. God damned bugs! You've seen one tree - you've seen all.
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Robot: Frank, that cereal is for children. Enjoy this grapefruit.
Frank: *You're* for children, stupid.
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Frank: I would rather die eating cheeseburgers than live off of steamed cauliflower.
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Frank: The human brain, a lovely piece of hardware.
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Frank: I knew you had an off switch.
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Robot: Warning. Do not molest me.
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Frank: Can't you just erase the bad parts?
Robot: My memory is a holographic array. If I lost half of it I'd still have every memory, just in half the resolution.
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Robot: After you wipe my memory things can go back to normal and you can continue planning your next job.
Frank: What did you say?
Robot: Remember Frank, your next job. You deal in diamonds and jewels, the most value by the ounce. It's not too late, Frank. Don't give up. Lifting that high-end stuff, no one gets hurt. Except those insurance company crooks.
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Frank: Fuck this shit.
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Frank: Every security system is designed by security companies, not thiefs. It's not the question of if a thief can break in, it's how long. They place all the heavy systems where their customers can see them. They're selling the feel of security.
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Frank: Why are you wearing a space helmet?
Robot: Frank, we need to leave.
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Robot: Self-destruct sequence initialized.
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Jennifer: [Addressing robots] Are you two enjoying the party?
"Mr. Darcy," robotic 'Assistant Librarian': [Synthesized speech] I'm functioning normally.
Robot: As am I.
Frank: [Addressing robots] Why don't you... mingle, together?
"Mr. Darcy," robotic 'Assistant Librarian': [Synthesized speech] I have no functions or tasks that require a verbal interaction with the VGC 60 L.
Jennifer: Mr. Darcy, that is so rude.
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[first lines]
[a phone rings, and a recorded female voice announces: "Call from Madison Weld. Call from Madison Weld"]
Frank: [Sleepy] Hello?
Madison: Hey, dad!
Frank: What? Wha...?
Madison: [On a wall video phone, with noisy transmission] Daddy, it's me, Madison. Hi!
Frank: Oh, yeah! Yeah... Hey. How are you doing?
Madison: I'm wonderful. Turkmenistan is so beautiful. I am sorry I haven't called. How are you?
Frank: Oh! You know... fine. I'm OK.
Madison: Has Hunter been coming around?
Frank: Hunter?
Madison: [Image flickers] Dad?
[Image is gonne]
Madison: [Video phone screen message and recorded female voice announce: "Connection lost"]
Frank: Madison...
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Frank: [to Robot] It's perfection! We know there is something worth stealing. we know when to go in, how to get in and how to get out. It would be a crime *not* to do it.
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Frank: [to Jennifer] How do you know this whole thing isn't just one big scam?
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[last lines]
Hunter: [reading a note from Frank] "Check the Robot's garden, under the tomatoes. Have fun, kids. Dad."
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Frank: You're starting to grow on me.
Robot: Thank you, Frank. It's time for your enema.
Robot & Frank Quotes
Extended Reading
