Revenge of the Nerds Quotes

[Lewis and Gilbert are discussing Gilbert's girlfriend, innocently]

Booger: Big deal! Did you get in her pants?

Gibert: She's not that kind of girl, Booger.

Booger: Why? Does she have a penis?

Betty Childs: [blissfully] Oh, Stan. You were wonderful. You did things to me you've never done before.

[Lewis takes off his mask]

Betty Childs: [gasps] Ahhh! You're that nerd!

Lewis: Yeah.

Betty Childs: [blissfully] Oh, you were wonderful.

[gasps in ecstacy]

Betty Childs: Are all nerds as good as you?

Lewis: Yes.

Betty Childs: How come?

Lewis: 'Cause all jocks ever think about is sports, all we ever think about is sex.

Takashi: Excuse please, but why do they call you "booger"?

Booger: [picking his nose] I don't know.

Stan Gable: [to Booger] What are you looking at, nerd?

Booger: [to himself] I thought I was looking at my mother's old douche-bag, but that's in Ohio.

[Booger is teaching Takashi poker]

Takashi: I think I've got a frush.

Booger: What the fuck's a frush?

Takashi: [showing his royal flush] A *frush*.

Booger: [showing his cards] Oh, well I've got two sevens and two sevens beats a frush.

Takashi: Oh, thank you.

Stan Gable: Times are changing, Betty. These nerds are a threat to our way of life.

Betty Childs: If they win the Homecoming Carnival, they'll be able to take over the Greek Council.

Stan Gable: Yeah. And we'll be up to our asses in nerd shit.

Gibert: I just wanted to say that I'm a nerd, and I'm here tonight to stand up for the rights of other nerds. I mean uh, all our lives we've been laughed at and made to feel inferior. And tonight, those bastards, they trashed our house. Why? Cause we're smart? Cause we look different? Well, we're not. I'm a nerd, and uh, I'm pretty proud of it.

Lewis: Hi, Gilbert. I'm a nerd too. I just found that out tonight. We have news for the beautiful people. There's a lot more of us than there are of you. I know there's alumni here tonight. When you went to Adams you might've been called a spazz, or a dork, or a geek. Any of you that have ever felt stepped on, left out, picked on, put down, whether you think you're a nerd or not, why don't you just come down here and join us. Okay? Come on.

Gibert: Just join us cause uh, no-one's gonna really be free until nerd persecution ends.

Coach Harris: You know, when you were a baby in your crib, your father looked down at you, he had but one hope - "Someday, my son will grow to be a man." Well look at you now; you just got your asses whipped, by a bunch of goddamn nerds.

[removes and throws his cap against the wall]

Coach Harris: *Nerds*! Well, if I was you, I'd do something about it. I would get up and redeem myself in the eyes of my father, my Maker, and my *coach*!

Poindexter: Wait - would you rather live in the ascendancy of a civilization or during its decline?

Omega Mu: Poindexter, do you wanna fuck, or not?

Poindexter: Okay.

[she jumps all over him]

Judy: Maybe we should eat?

Harold Wormser: Maybe we should watch TV?

Booger: Hey guys...

[opens his leather jacket to reveal some Marijuana cigarettes]

Booger: ... wonder joints.

Takashi: Maybe we could have robster craws.

Booger: [adjusting his shirt] What the fuck are robster craws?

Lewis: [planning the party] Do any of you have dates, besides Gilbert?

Lamar: I do!

Booger: Yeah, but that's with a guy.

Lewis: Well, what about you, Booger?

Booger: I've been out combing the high schools all day!

[Alpha Beta has been beaten by Lambda Lambda Lambda and Omega Mu]

Coach Harris: Hey, Gable.

Stan Gable: Yeah, Coach.

Coach Harris: I want to see you, and the other girls, in the locker room, now!

Stan Gable: Yes, sir.

Lewis: [in line at the Kissing Booth at the Homecoming Carnival] Hi, Betty.

Betty Childs: A nerd? I'm not kissing a nerd.

Lewis: You have to. I paid my money.

Betty Childs: [Lewis tries to kiss Betty] It's time for my break.

Stan Gable: [Stan brings a short, fat, ugly woman, instead] Kiss this, nerd.

Betty Childs: I want to do it, Stan. All this kissing has made me horny.

Stan Gable: God, Betty, you're like a goat.

Betty Childs: [in the Pi's bathroom] Listen, if Stan calls tell him I'll call him back, okay?

Suzy: Okay.

Lewis: [Betty opens the shower curtain and finds Lewis; gasps] Panty raid!

[Betty screams; Lewis laughs, chasing her]

Betty Childs: That nerd saw me naked!

Dean Ulich: Frankly, I'm not too wild about this next even but it has become a tradition here at Adams: The Belching Contest.

[the crowd cheers]

Dean Ulich: First up, Frederick W. Palowakski.

Ogre: [grunting] It's "Ogre" you asshole!

Dean Ulich: "Ogre, you asshole.", uh "Ogre".

Burke: Well, let's get those nerds!

Stan Gable: [screams] Nerds!

Ogre: [screams] Nerds!

Stan Gable: What are we *waiting* for?

[the angry Alpha Betas storm out of the locker room towards the Tri-Lams house]

[rings door buzzer]

Mail Slot Man: [mail flap opens, revealing a pair of crazed eyes] Who's there?

Booger: [pauses] Ahhh, is...

Mail Slot Man: What do you want?

Booger: Is this the Stewart residence?

Mail Slot Man: Why are you here?

Booger: Ahh, I've come about the roo...

Mail Slot Man: WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Booger: I've come about the roo...

Mail Slot Man: Don't have, no way!

Booger: I - I, uh, do you have a room for rent?

Mail Slot Man: Not for rent!

Booger: I thought it was for rent!

Mail Slot Man: Fuck off!

[mail flap closes]

[Lewis shows the nerds their new home. An abandoned and dilapidated house]

Lewis: Isn't she beautiful?

[the nerds give him confused and angry looks, Lewis smiles at them]

[Booger and Takeshi are trying to look at a naked girl who hides behind a large roommate]

Booger: Step aside momma, I wanna see some of that muff!

Takashi: Oh Hair pie! Hair pie!

[Ogre snatches a pie from a nerd customer]

Ogre: Thanks wimp, get yourself one!

Lewis: Didn't I tell you we would find a nice place?

Gibert: Yes, this is way better than the dorm.

[Brick is hurled through the window]

Booger: What was that?

Gibert: It says: "Nerds get out!"

Takashi: What is a nerd?

Gibert: *We* are.

Sergeant: I do not know what this world is coming to. See that man over there. We arrested him for mopery.

Booger: What's mopery?

Sergeant: Mopery is exposing yourself to a blind person. I am sorry about your window, fellas, but that's out of our jurisdiction. This sounds more like a fraternity prank. But there's only one organization that can handle such matters.

Gibert: What is that?

Sergeant: [disdainfully] The Greek Council.

[after the Alpha Betas' treachery is revealed at the pep rally]

Dean Ulich: You know, Coach. I'm going to let the Lambdas live over at the Alpha Beta house while you and your boys rebuild theirs!

Burke: Where the hell are *we* gonna live?

Ogre: Yeah. What about *us*?

Dean Ulich: You're *jocks*! Go live in the gym!

[Stan finds out how the Tri-Lambs were able to sell so many pies; there's a naked picture of Betty at the bottom of every one]

Stan Gable: That's *my* Pi!

[Gilbert tries to get at the microphone, but Coach Harris and the Alpha Betas grab him]

Dean Ulich: Leave him alone!

Coach Harris: What did you say?

Dean Ulich: I said leave him alone!

Coach Harris: I'll break his goddamn neck if he doesn't...

Dean Ulich: You will do NOTHING of the sort! Don't touch that boy!

Coach Harris: [Gilbert gets shoved to the ground and the coach shoves Dean Ulich] Says *who*?

Dean Ulich: Says *ME*!

[Shoves Coach Harris]

Dean Ulich: You asshole!

[Coach tries to hit the Dean but U.N intervenes]

U.N. Jefferson: HOLD IT, COACH! You just hold it *RIGHT THERE*!

[a large group of tough, militant Tri-Lambdas face down the Alpha Betas]

Lewis: [0:03:23] This is college. Remember, 6,127 students at Adams, 58% of which are girls.

Gibert: So?

Lewis: That's 7,107.32 boobs.

Mr. Skolnick: You college guys are all alike. All you care about is getting laid. I wish I was going with you.

Lewis: [10:40] It'll help with the women, too.

Gibert: Women?

Lewis: Yeah! Let's say one of us is up here with a woman, this will be our early warning device so we don't walk in on each other.

Gibert: We're allowed to have girls in our dorm room?

Lewis: Not girls, women. We're college men, now.