Return to Oz Quotes

Jack Pumpkinhead: If his brain's ran down, how can he talk?

Dorothy: It happens to people all the time, Jack.

[regarding headless statues]

Dorothy: Look, Billina, these ones have lost their heads.

Billina: Now, that's what I call just plain carelessness

Billina: What is this, a man or a melon?

Jack Pumpkinhead: A pumpkin, if you please.

Mombi III: [tilting Dorothy's chin upwards to examine her face] You will be rather attractive... one day. Not at all beautiful, you understand, but you have a certain... prettiness. Different from my other heads. I believe I'll lock you in the tower for a few years until your head is ready, and then I'll take it.

Dorothy: [jerks her head out of Mombi's grasp] I believe you will NOT!

Billina: Some place for a chicken coop! How big is this pond anyway?

Dorothy: I don't think it's a pond, Billina.

[gets up and looks around]

Dorothy: I guess it is a pond.

Billina: Hmm, told you so.

Dorothy: Where did all the rest of the water go?

Billina: Where did Kansas go? Ohh, this is some place for a chicken coop.

Dorothy: When did you learn to talk anyway? I thought hens could only cluck and cackle.

Billina: Strange, ain't it? How's my grammar?

Nurse Wilson: Lie down.

Dorothy: I'd like to sit up, if I may.

Nurse Wilson: What did your aunt tell you?

Dorothy: To do what you told me, Miss Wilson.

Nurse Wilson: Then, lie down.

[the attendants are strapping Dorothy to the stretcher]

Dorothy: Why do you have to tie me down?

Nurse Wilson: So that you don't fall off.

Dorothy: I came all the way from the farm on a buggy and I didn't fall off.

[They start to wheel Dorothy down the hall]

Dorothy: Did I hear somebody scream earlier?

Nurse Wilson: No.

[They wheel Dorothy through some double doors. Dr. Worley is adjusting his machine]

Dr. Worley: Hello, Dorothy. How are you?

Dorothy: I wish I wasn't tied down.

Dr. Worley: [chuckles] Nothing to worry about.

Ozma: Why did they bring you here, Dorothy?

Dorothy: Because I can't sleep, and I talk about a place that I've been to, but nobody believes that it exists.

Dr. Worley: And how did you come back from... Oz?

Dorothy: With my ruby slippers.

Dr. Worley: How did they work?

Dorothy: You put them on and you click your heels three times, and you say "There's no place like home".

Dr. Worley: Dorothy, where are those slippers now?

Dorothy: I lost them. They fell off on the way back.

Dorothy: Oh no...

Billina: That's just a yellow brick.

Dorothy: No, Billina. You don't understand. This *was* the yellow brick road. It leads to the Emerald City!

Dorothy: You're so beautiful. What's your name?

Ozma: Ozma.

Jack Pumpkinhead: MOM! My *real* mom!

[he faints into the crowd]

Lead Wheeler: You'll be sorry for treating me like this! I'm a TERRIBLE person!

Tik-Tok: I am only a machine. So I can not be sorry or happy, no matter what happens.

Nome Messenger: Your Majesty! She has returned to Oz!

Nome King: Good, good. Keep an eye on her.

[the Nome Messenger pauses, hesitant]

Nome King: Well, what's the matter? What is it?

Nome Messenger: She has a... chicken with her.

Nome King: A chicken?

Nome King: Don't you... know that... eggs are... poison?

Billina: Poison, indeed!

Nome King: Poison... poison to... nomes.

Jack Pumpkinhead: [Dorothy, Tik Tok, Bellina and Jack are all flying on the Gump] Mr. Gump, can't you fly any faster?

Gump: Not unless one of you wants to jump off.

Nome King: Why doesn't the sofa go first?

Gump: But I don't have anything to touch with.

Nome King: You can use your antlers.

Gump: I should have quit when I was a head.

Jack Pumpkinhead: [the trio are assembling the Gump together, but Tik-Tok's brains are running down] Here's a broom Tik-Tok, it'll make a great tail.

Tik-Tok: Excellent. Now we must Gump the head at the front, and tie Jack's feet together.

Jack Pumpkinhead: Right. Tie my feet together

[Jack does so]

Tik-Tok: Bring that mantlepiece to the desk, and then annoint the palms!

Jack Pumpkinhead: Right, annoint the-

[Jack falls due to his feet being tied]

Tik-Tok: That is right Jack. Left, right, wrong.

Jack Pumpkinhead: What are you talking about Tik-Tok?

Tik-Tok: Little girl, squaking eggs, make chicken fly the coop.

Billina: Coop?

Lead Wheeler: You have to come out sooner or later. And when you do, we'll tear you into little pieces and throw you in the deadly desert!

Dorothy Gale: I haven't done anything to you.

Lead Wheeler: Isn't that a *stolen* lunch pail in your hand? Isn't that a chicken in there with you? The Nome King doesn't allow chickens anywhere in Oz!

Dorothy Gale: Who's the Nome King?

Lead Wheeler: Who is the Nome King?

[laughs hysterically]

Gump: The last thing I remember is walking through the forest and hearing a loud noise. Now, here I am flying through the air. What am I anyway?

Dorothy: You're a... a thing, with a Gump's head on it. We built you and brought you to life so you can take us to the Nome King; to rescue the Scarecrow.

Lead Wheeler: Please, let me go. Please, please, let me go. Pleeaase, let me go! Let me go!

Dorothy: All right Tik Tok, let him go.

Tik-Tok: [to Wheeler] Behave yourself now!

Lead Wheeler: I WILL behave! I'll-I'll behave!

[Tik Tok lets him go]

Lead Wheeler: [Wheeler laughs] Behave!

[skates away]

Lead Wheeler: [laughing] Behave... I'll be... - ohhps!

[falls]

Lead Wheeler: [laughing] YOU BEHAVE!

[laughing]

Dorothy: Patented Clockwork Mechanical Man. Does everything but live. For Thinking, wind number 1 under left arm. For Speaking, wind number 2 under right arm. For Walking & Action, wind number 3, middle of back. Guaranteed to work perfectly for a thousand years.

Billina: Aww, you don't believe that do ya?

Dorothy: I don't know. I'll wind him up and we'll see.

Jack Pumpkinhead: [everybody's falling off the Gump and out of the sky] I'm sorry, Mom!

Dorothy: It's okay, Jack, it can't be helped now!

Dorothy: [On her final guess Dorothy is about to guess on a bird statue, but then spots and emerald and chooses that instead] Oz!

Scarecrow: [Restored from ornament form] Dorothy!

The Nome King: [In his throne room the Nome King hears the echo of the scarecrow saying "Dorothy"] Smudge and blazes!

Dorothy: [Back in ornament room] Scarecrow!

Scarecrow: Dorothy.

[the two embrace]

Dorothy: You were green.

Scarecrow: What?

Dorothy: You were a green ornament.

Scarecrow: I was?

Dorothy: Maybe people from Oz turn into green ornaments.

Dorothy: [On her final guess Dorothy is about to guess on a bird statue, but then spots an emerald and chooses that instead] Oz!

Scarecrow: [Restored from ornament form] Dorothy!

Nome King: [In his throne room the Nome King hears the echo of the scarecrow saying "Dorothy"] Smudge and blazes!

Dorothy: [Back in ornament room] Scarecrow!

Scarecrow: Dorothy.

[the two embrace]

Dorothy: You were green.

Scarecrow: What?

Dorothy: You were a green ornament.

Scarecrow: I was?

Dorothy: Maybe people from Oz turn into green ornaments.

Dorothy: [after freeing Ozma from the mirror] You're so beautiful. What's your name?

Ozma: Ozma.

Jack Pumpkinhead: MOM! MY REAL MOM!

[Jack faints]

Mombi III: She is Ozma, queen and rightful ruler of Oz. Her father was king of Oz before the Wizard came.

Mombi II: Ozma grew up as Mombi's slave. But when the Nome King promised Mombi thirty beautiful heads if she kept Ozma a secret, she enchanted her into the mirror.

Ozma: I forgive Mombi. Dorothy has punished her by removing her magical powers, and a witch with no magic is a miserable creature indeed.

Mombi: [in a cage, bitterly] And that's a fact.

[first lines]

Aunt Em: Can't you sleep?

[Dorothy shakes her head]

Aunt Em: It's past 1:00 in the morning, Dorothy.

Dorothy: [as she puts on the Ruby Slippers] AAAHH!

Billina: Hurry, Dorothy!

Dorothy: I am! I am!

Scarecrow: Oh no! What are we going to do now?

Dorothy: I wish all of us from Oz to return there safely and for the Emerald City and all the people in it to be restored to life

Dorothy: [Clicks her heels together three times. The group are transported to the Emerald City]