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Michael Whouley: I love Warren Christopher, but I think the guys so tight he probably eats his M&Ms with a knife and fork.
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Ron Klain: How hard is it to punch a paper ballot?
Michael Whouley: It's pretty God damn hard when you're eighty something years old, you're arthritic, and you're blind as a fucking bat. Unfortunately for us, blind fucking bats tend to vote Democratic.
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Michael Whouley: Now it's time to prove to Al Gore who the real Ron fucking Klain really is. It's time to show Al Gore that Ron Klain is a fucking brawler and he's not going to back down from this particular fucking fight.
Ron Klain: Anyone ever tell you you say "fuck" a lot?
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David Boies: [holds up bag of red m&m's] I'm only eating the red ones today.
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Ron Klain: The plural of "chad" is "chad"?
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Michael Whouley: [on the phone to Ron] I think the networks have got the wrong numbers. We're still alive.
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Michael Whouley: There's a hundred and thirty five thousand ballots out there whose counting machines have declared non votes.
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James Baker: Now listen people, this is a street fight for the presidency of the United States.
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Michael Whouley: [to Ron] Whoever stops fighting first always loses.
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Ron Klain: Every vote from every citizen deserves to be counted.
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Joe Allbaugh: I'm sorry to interrupt but I wasn't sure if you could smell this.
James Baker: What is it?
Joe Allbaugh: The pile of shit Al Gore just stepped in. He's trying to throw out military ballots. It's called the Herron memo.
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David Morehouse: There's a problem with the numbers in Florida.
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James Baker: People are going to say all kinds of things about this election, that is was down to 154 votes, that Bush's brother was governor, that the US Supreme Court gave it to us. But I want you to remember that we won every single recount. Never once did we trail Gore. And who knows how many votes we lost when the networks called Florida for Gore before all the polls were closed on election night. But more important than all that is that the system worked. There were no tanks on the streets. This peaceful transfer of power in the most emotional and trying of times is a testament to the strength of the Constitution and to our faith in the rule of law.
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Ron Klain: We should have asked for a statewide from the get-go - that was our biggest mistake.
Michael Whouley: Mm-hmm, and Ralph Nader should've pulled his head out of his ass. And Elian Gonzalez should've never left Miami. And Gore should've campaigned with Clinton. And Clinton should've got caught getting a blowjob from Sharon Stone instead of Monica Lewinsky 'cause then his approval ratings would have shot through the roof. And Katherine Harris should've thought twice about purging 20,000 voters from the rolls. And George Bush, Jr. should have never quit drinking, but he did. It is what it is, pal. Four years from now we'll come back, gather our information and go right back at 'em.
Ron Klain: Even after all the mistakes and all the corruption, we still had about half a day there where the entire state was counting.
Michael Whouley: Mn-hmm, and do you think if W had asked for a recount, the Supreme Court would have stopped it?
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James Baker: [while watching fellow Republican Kathryn Harris on TV] This woman is hopeless.
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Republican protester: Peter Jennings and Tom Brokaw have bald spots. Peter Jennings and Tom Brokaw have bald spots.
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Republican Observer: [When disputed ballots are being contested by a member of each party, a Republican says] This woman is eating the chads.
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Republican protester: He's got a ballot!
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George W. Bush: Let me make sure I understand. You are calling back to retract your concession?
Al Gore: Excuse me, but you don't have to get snippy about it.
George W. Bush: My little brother has assured me, I won the state of Florida.
Al Gore: Well, your little brother is not the ultimate authority on this.
George W. Bush: Mr. Vice President, you do what you have to do.
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David Morehouse: [David Morehouse cuts Vice President Gore before making he makes his concession speech] Mr. Vice President! There's a problem with the numbers in Florida.
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Warren Christopher: The world is watching us. We are theoretically its last great democracy.
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David Boies: [after accidentally punching Ron] Are you okay?
Ron Klain: We won! It doesn't matter. We won!
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Michael Whouley: [mocking of Warren Christopher speech] Jesus. The last great democracy.
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Katherine Harris: The law says it has to be a hurricane.
Michael Whouley: [watching Katherine Harris on TV] Does her makeup count as a hurricane?
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Mac Stipanovich: [to Clay, who's saying the recount should continue] God damn it, you stupid son of a bitch. We're right on the goal line here.
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James Baker: This is everyone? Five lawyers and Joe Allbaugh?
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Clay Roberts: I think we should let them have it.
Mac Stipanovich: Are you kidding me?
Clay Roberts: They're almost finished anyway. Let them get done. And then we'll accept any result by 9 A.M tomorrow morning.
Mac Stipanovich: God damn it, you stupid son of a bitch. We're right on the goal line here. We are so close, Katherine! Shut it down! Just shut it down!
Clay Roberts: It's only a few more hours.
Katherine Harris: The Florida Supreme Court stated that if we're open on Sunday, the returns are due at 5 P.M. It's Sunday. We're open. And it's almost 5 P.M. I have no choice but to follow the law.
Mac Stipanovich: Of course, it's your call, but I think you're right on the money here.
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Michael Whouley: Listen, everybody feels the same way about what happened to you with the campaign, okay? But Gore went with Coelho because he knew Tony was a fighter. And Tony proved it when he pushed you out. All right? Now, it's time to prove to Al Gore who the real Ron fucking Klain really is. It's time to show Al Gore that Ron Klain is a fucking brawler and that he's not gonna back down from this particular fucking fight.
Ron Klain: Anyone ever tell you say 'fuck' a lot?
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Ron Klain: The foundation of our democracy is based on the citizens right to vote. It is our duty as Americans to fulfill that responsability.
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Mac Stipanovich: Listen, Katherine. Most people go through their lives never having a chance to make a difference. And those that are lucky enough to have that chance don't recognize it when it comes. They think it's down the road, or that it's going to be next year or the year after that. But if you're a publical official wanting to make history then today is your lucky day, darling. You're about to pick the leader of the free world.
Katherine Harris: Don't you worry, Mac. It's going to take a lot more than David Letterman making fun of my hair and makeup to knock me down.
Mac Stipanovich: That is exactly why I backed your campaign when everyone else ran over to Mortham because you are a woman of action.
Katherine Harris: A woman of action. Like Queen Esther.
Mac Stipanovich: Queen Esther?
Katherine Harris: I have been reading my Bible quite a bit here lately, and I have been feeling this unusually strong kinship with Queen Esther. You recall Queen Esther, she was willing to sacrifice herself to save the lovely Jewish people. And that's exactly what I'm doing right now. And if I perish, I perish.
Mac Stipanovich: You have to stay strong, Katherine. The world needs to see that Katherine Harris is in charge. You need to bring this election in for a landing.
Katherine Harris: Yeah. Bring it in for a landing?
Mac Stipanovich: Bring it in for a landing with George W. Bush in the cockpit! They're gonna ask for extensions, for negotiations, for recounts. We don't have to let that happen, Katherine.
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Ron Klain: [after arriving in Florida] I feel like I'm stuck in "The Night of the Living Bubbies."
Michael Whouley: Just stay calm. And whatever you do, don't yell "Bingo!"
Recount Quotes
Extended Reading
