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[from trailer]
[Puss in Boots removes his hat, cloak and sword]
Puss in Boots: All that I need, are the boots!
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[from trailer]
Puss in Boots: My name would become legend...
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[from trailer]
Humpty Dumpty: Do you have any idea what they do to eggs in San Ricardo's prison? I'll tell you this, my friend. It ain't over easy!
Ohhh Cat: Ooooooohhhhhh!
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[from trailer]
Kitty Softpaws: [to Puss, wearing his hat] I'll steal you blind, and you'll never even know I was there!
[an annoyed Puss grabs his hat back]
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[from trailer]
[Puss jumps over a steeple, the tip scraping his tail]
Puss in Boots: [shaken] Holy frijoles...
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[from trailer]
Jack: I hate cats!
Puss in Boots: That's not what your mama said!
Ohhh Cat: Ooooooohhhhhh!
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[from trailer]
Jill: [dangles Puss over a canyon] Is it true a cat always lands on its feet?
Puss in Boots: No! That is just a rumour, spread by dogs!
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[a man begins to strip to show Puss a tattoo of the golden eggs]
Puss in Boots: NO! Please, you have... shown enough.
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[from trailer]
Puss in Boots: Fear me, if you dare!
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[from trailer]
Puss in Boots: My thirst for adventure will never be quenched!
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Puss in Boots: You have made the cat angry. You do not want to make the cat angry!
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Kitty Softpaws: That's a lot of heel for a guy, don't you think?
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Jack: We want a complimentary continental breakfast.
Jill: And don't even think of skimping on them baby muffins!
Hotel Owner: [crying to himself] We don't have any baby muffins.
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Puss in Boots: Kitty? You are not as good as they say. You are better!
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Puss in Boots: I will see you again, Kitty Softpaws!
Kitty Softpaws: Sooner than you think.
[Puss realizes that Kitty has his boots]
Puss in Boots: She is a bad kitty.
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Puss in Boots: Don't make the cat angry...
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Raoul: [taking an inventory of Puss in Boots' items before placing him in jail] ... one bottle of catnip!
Puss in Boots: It's for my glaucoma.
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Puss in Boots: How *dare* you do the Litter Box at me?
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Kitty Softpaws: [In a calm voice] You owe me.
Puss in Boots: I owe you?
Kitty Softpaws: [starts to flirt with Puss] Uh-huh. You hit me in the head with a guitar.
Puss in Boots: I, uh, regret the guitar.
Kitty Softpaws: Okay, I forgive you.
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[Of Humpty Dumpty]
Puss in Boots: I always knew you were good inside.
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[Puss and Kitty kiss]
Ohhh Cat: Ooooooohhhhhh!
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Humpty Dumpty: First rule of Bean Club, don't talk about Bean Club. The second rule of Bean Club... don't talk about Bean Club.
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Humpty Dumpty: I'm not a person. I'm not a bird. I'm not even a food. I don't know what I am.
Puss in Boots: You are what you have always been: my brother.
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[Taking Puss' bag of money]
Kitty Softpaws: [sing-song voice] Someone forgot his money!
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Kitty Softpaws: [to Puss] You hit me in the head with a guitar!
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Crazy Woman: [beats up Puss] Chupacabra! Chupacabra! Chupacabra!
Puss in Boots: You are a crazy woman!
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Humpty Dumpty: [hanging from a rope] You can't save us both!
Puss in Boots: Yes, I can! Just hang on!
Humpty Dumpty: Puss, you have to save the baby, or the mother will destroy San Ricardo. It's the right thing to do.
Puss in Boots: I will not let you go, Humpty.
Humpty Dumpty: I know you won't. So I won't make you choose.
[lets go]
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[first lines]
Puss in Boots: Through the years, I have been known by many names. Diablo Gato. The Furry Lover. Chupacabra. Friskie Two-Times. And the Ginger Hit Man. But to most - I am Puss In Boots! Outlaw.
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Puss in Boots: What can I say? I was a bad kitty.
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Jack: Once we're done with this magic bean business and got ourselves all them beautiful golden eggs...
Jill: Mm-hm, go on.
Jack: That we cut down on some of the hijacking and murdering. I mean, it's fun and all, but, uh, I want a baby.
Jill: A baby what, Jack?
Jack: A baby us, Jill. We'll raise it wild, like a squirrel or something
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Jill: Ever since you fell down that hill and broke your crown, you have been talking crazy.
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Puss in Boots: Señorita, wait! Let me buy you some leche! I am a lover, not a - fighter.
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Puss in Boots: I smell something familiar. Something - dangerous. Something - breakfasty.
Humpty Dumpty: It's been a long time, brother.
Puss in Boots: Maldito huevo.
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Puss in Boots: There is one teeny, tiny, itty-bitty problem.
Kitty Softpaws: And what is that?
Puss in Boots: You work for the egg!
Kitty Softpaws: Oh, come on, Puss.
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Puss in Boots: It was a year in which the rain had not fallen. The wind was big and the basket was small. For days, I bounced along, a hungry little kitten with no milk, no mama, and no litter box.
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Humpty Dumpty: Please don't spin me. Do not spin me! Not again! No! I'm gonna yolk!
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Humpty Dumpty: What's your name? You don't say much, do you? I think I'll call you Sparky. Whiskers? Zoltar! How about Puss?
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Humpty Dumpty: I'm cracked! We got red beans, green beans, coffee beans, lima beans, but, no magic beans.
Puss in Boots: Would you care for a jelly bean?
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Puss in Boots: How strange it was to give a cat boots; but, whoa, I looked good.
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Humpty Dumpty: OK, yeah, I get it now. You get some fancy boots and now you're too good for me?
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Jill: You're gonna pay for this! Soul-sucking cats!
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Kitty Softpaws: Guys, guys. It's a gold pooper.
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Puss in Boots: There is one word for you, Kitty Softpaws: Me-wow!
Kitty Softpaws: I know you have quite a reputation with the ladies, Mr. Friskie Two-Times.
Puss in Boots: I've also been known as the... Furry Lover! But that was before I met you.
Kitty Softpaws: You don't know me, Puss.
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Kitty Softpaws: I was just a stray; but, I had beautiful claws. One day, a really nice couple took me in. Gave me milk every morning. Loved me. Maybe I scratched their curtains or played too rough with the hamster. I don't know why they did it. But they took my claws.
Puss in Boots: Cat people are crazy.
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Kitty Softpaws: Humpty, you're not wearing underwear!
Humpty Dumpty: Eh, what? Are you embarrassed? I'm not.
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Humpty Dumpty: Let's, uh, get out of here before Mama shows up.
Puss in Boots: I should make you into an egg salad sandwich!
Humpty Dumpty: That is disgusting!
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Puss in Boots: Prove to me there is still a good egg in you.
Humpty Dumpty: I'll try.
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Humpty Dumpty: I'm sorry, Puss. I've made a mess out of everything. I'm a rotten egg.
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Humpty Dumpty: I'm not a person. I'm not a bird. I'm not even a food. I don't know what I am.
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Townperson #1: It's him. Puss In Boots.
Townperson #2: He saved us from the giant goose!
Townperson #3: His sword is like lightning!
Townperson #4: They say he has ten lives.
Townperson #5: His boots are made of the finest Corinthian leather.
Townperson #6: He only drinks whole milk.
Puss in Boots: Good leche.
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Puss in Boots: She is a bad kitty.
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Puss in Boots: This is the story of a cat who became a hero. An outlaw dedicated to justice. And a lover of beautiful women. A great, great lover.
Puss in Boots Quotes
Extended Reading
