Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales Quotes

Captain Salazar: [to the only survivor of a ship he attacked] Jack Sparrow...

[holds up a wanted poster of Jack Sparrow]

Captain Salazar: Do you know this pirate?

Henry: Only by name.

Captain Salazar: For too many years the Triangle has cursed us, condemned us to this Hell on Earth. The key to our escape is Jack Sparrow, and the compass which he holds. No, no. No need to fear, me boy. I always leave one man alive, to tell the tale. Find Sparrow for me and relay a message, from Capitan Salazar.

Henry: Salazar.

Captain Salazar: Tell him I'll behold the daylight again. And on that day, death... death comes straight for him. Would you say that to him, please?

Henry: Yes.

Captain Salazar: I wish I could tell him myself, but dead men tell no tales.

Captain Jack Sparrow: Pirate's life.

[raises glass of rum]

Shansa: The price of crossing my door is blood, Captain.

Captain Hector Barbossa: That explains why you're not so busy.

Shansa: Everyone pays, eventually.

Captain Hector Barbossa: Shansa, you and I made a bond long ago. I saved you from the gallows, remember?

Shansa: And I cursed your enemies. But now you come to me with fear. As the dead have taken command over the sea.

Captain Hector Barbossa: And what would the dead be wanting with me?

Shansa: Not you, Captain. They're searching for a sparrow.

Captain Hector Barbossa: Jack?

Shansa: Jack who sails for the trident... With a girl and a Pearl.

Captain Hector Barbossa: The trident can never be found.

Shansa: The trident is Jack's only hope. The dead are conquering the sea, unable to step on dry land. Maybe you should retire to the countryside.

Captain Hector Barbossa: You mean grass, on a farm? Milking a cow, making cheese? While they sink me treasure?

Shansa: Ask yourself this, Captain: Is this treasure worth dying for?

Captain Hector Barbossa: I'm a pirate. Always will be! So how do I save what be mine?

Henry: [from trailer] I saw her ankles.

Captain Jack Sparrow: You would've seen a lot more if you kept your cakehole shut.

Carina Smyth: I'm not looking for trouble!

Captain Jack Sparrow: What a horrible way to live.

[Henry saves Carina]

Henry: From this moment forth we are to be allies!

Carina Smyth: Considering where your left hand is, I'd say we're more than that!

[Jack is to be executed]

Captain Jack Sparrow: Guillotine? Sounds French. I love the French! How bad can it be? It's French.

[sees what the guillotine actually is]

Captain Jack Sparrow: Oh, that bad. I've changed me mind!

[is frog marched up to the guillotine platform]

Captain Jack Sparrow: You mean I have to walk up stairs as well for this?

[is strapped to a body board]

Captain Jack Sparrow: Here's an idea, how about a good old-fashioned stoning? I'd kill to be stoned right now!

[gets put in the guillotine]

Captain Jack Sparrow: I'm not normally one to complain, but this basket is full of heads!

[Henry meets Jack for the first time]

Henry: Do you even have a ship, a crew... pants?

Captain Jack Sparrow: A great pirate does not bother with such intricacies.

Captain Hector Barbossa: I have heard stores of a mighty Spanish captain who sunk and killed thousands of men...

Captain Salazar: No no no no! Men, no! Pirates!

Gibbs: Face it, Jack. Bad luck dogs you day and night.

Captain Jack Sparrow: That is a blatant fabrication!

[Bird poop lands on Jack's shoulder]

Carina Smyth: My calculations are precise and true. I'm not just an astronomer. I'm also a horologist.

Captain Jack Sparrow: No shame in that, dear. We all have to make a living.

Carina Smyth: No, I'm a horologist.

Scrum: So was my mum. Although she didn't crow about it quite as loud as you.

Captain Jack Sparrow: Who are you?

Henry: My name is Henry Turner. Son of Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann.

Captain Jack Sparrow: Ewww. You're the evil spawn of them two.

[pause]

Captain Jack Sparrow: Does mummy ever ask about me?

Henry: No.

Captain Jack Sparrow: Oh go on. She call my name in her sleep?

Henry: She never spoke of you.

Captain Jack Sparrow: Are you sure we're talking about the same people? He's a cursed eunuch. She's golden-haired, stubborn, pouty lips, neck like a giraffe, and two of those wonderful...

Henry: Yes! Yes, it's her.

Henry: [whispers into a jail cell] I need to speak with you.

Captain Jack Sparrow: [attacks Henry from behind, holding him against the cell door] Hand me your sword.

Henry: I don't have a sword.

Captain Jack Sparrow: What kind of soldier has no weapon?

Henry: I'm currently wanted for treason.

Captain Jack Sparrow: So not the very good kind then?

Henry: I'm looking for a pirate, Captain Jack Sparrow?

Captain Jack Sparrow: [let's go of Henry] Well today's your lucky day. Because I just happen to be Captain Jack Sparrow.

Henry: [in disbelief] No, it can't be. I've spent years searching for... this. The great Jack Sparrow is not some drunk in a cell. Do you even have a ship? A crew... pants?

Captain Jack Sparrow: A great pirate does not require such intricacies.

Henry: Do you know how long I've been waiting for this moment? The risks I've taken to be here? Are you sure you're *the* Jack Sparrow?

Captain Jack Sparrow: The real question is, who are you?

Henry: [Henry has just been rescued by the Flying Dutchman after attempting to drown himself to gain his father's attention]

[sees a shadowy figure approach]

Henry: Father?

Will Turner: Henry. What have you done?

Henry: I said I'd find you.

Will Turner: Look at me, son.

[half of Will's face and body are covered in barnacles]

Henry: I don't care.

Will Turner: There's no place for you on the Dutchman.

[the Dutchman's crew can be heard in the background]

Will Turner: They know you're here. Get home to your mother.

Henry: No!

Will Turner: Leave now. Before it's too late.

Henry: I won't. I'll never stop. And if you throw me over, I'll come straight back.

Will Turner: Don't you see I'm cursed to this ship?

Henry: That's why I'm here. I think I know a way to break your curse. To free you from the Dutchman.

Will Turner: Henry, no.

Henry: I've read about a treasure. A treasure that holds all the power of the sea. The Trident of Poseidon can break your curse.

Will Turner: [kneels down to hug Henry] Henry, the trident can never be found.

Henry: I found you.

Will Turner: It's just a tale.

Henry: Like the tales of you and Captain Jack Sparrow? He will help me find the trident.

Will Turner: You stay away from Jack! Leave the sea forever. You have to stop acting like a...

Henry: A pirate? I won't stop. I want you to come home.

Will Turner: [the Dutchman starts sinking back into the sea] Henry. I'm sorry. My curse will never be broken.

[takes off his necklace]

Will Turner: This is my fate.

[places the necklace in Henry's hands]

Will Turner: You must let me go.

[reaches out to gently touch Henry's face]

Will Turner: I love you, son.

Henry: [the Dutchman sinks fully into the sea, forcing Henry to swim to the surface and reboard his rowboat]

[while lying inside his rowboat]

Henry: Captain Jack Sparrow.

Carina Smyth: Who am I to you?

Captain Hector Barbossa: Treasure!

Carina Smyth: Men on that ship are looking for Jack. And Jack is on this boat. I'm going to swim for it!

Captain Jack Sparrow: How dare you do exactly what I'd do if I were you?

Henry: That's it! I'm going with her!

Captain Jack Sparrow: You would leave me for some horologist in her knickers?

Henry: Yes!

Captain Jack Sparrow: You men are all alike!

Captain Hector Barbossa: [sees Carina's diary] Where did you get that from, Missy? I know this book, stolen from an Italian ship, many years ago.

Carina Smyth: Stolen? No, you're mistaken.

Captain Hector Barbossa: There was a Ruby on the cover, I would not soon forget.

Carina Smyth: This was given to me by my father. He was clearly a man of science.

Captain Hector Barbossa: He was clearly a common thief.

Carina Smyth: The memory of my father will not be befouled by the tongue of a pirate! This diary is my birthright. Left to me on the steps of a children's home. Along with a name, and nothing else.

Captain Hector Barbossa: Oh, so you are an orphan? What be you called?

Carina Smyth: The brightest star in the North gave me my name.

Captain Hector Barbossa: That would be Carina?

Carina Smyth: Carina Smith. So you do know your stars?

Captain Hector Barbossa: I'm a captain. I know which stars to follow home.

Captain Hector Barbossa: Tell me what you want.

Captain Jack Sparrow: I want my compass... 216 barrels of rum, and the monkey.

Captain Hector Barbossa: You want Jack?

Captain Jack Sparrow: Dinner. I want to eat him. I want to eat that monkey!

Captain Hector Barbossa: [gags Sparrow] No deal, Jack. A clever young woman such as that would never believe that a swine like me could ever be her blood.

Mullroy: The entire fleet is being sunk. And we'll soon be dead.

Scrum: And quite possibly out of business.

Carina Smyth: My calculations are precise and true. I'm not only an astronomer, I'm also a horologist.

Captain Jack Sparrow: No shame in that dear. We all have to earn a living, eh?

Henry: [about shotgun wedding] Wait. Surely... this is not legal.

Captain Jack Sparrow: This is not legal.

Carina Smyth: He's right. Does any man here object to these nuptials?

Captain Jack Sparrow: I do.

Priest: Congratulations, you may kiss the bride!

Carina Smyth: This ship. Those ghosts. There can be no logical explanation.

Henry: Myths of the sea are real, Carina. I'm glad you can finally see you were wrong.

Carina Smyth: Wrong? Perhaps I had some doubts.

Henry: This is the worst apology I've ever heard.

Carina Smyth: Apology? Why would I apologize?

Henry: Because we've been chased by the dead, sailing on a ship, raised from a bottle. Where is your science in that?

Carina Smyth: Fine, I will apologize.

Henry: Go on, then.

Carina Smyth: Well then, one could argue that you owe *me* an apology, as my life has been threatened by pirates and dead men.

Henry: Which you now believe in, sorry to say.

Carina Smyth: Apology accepted.

Henry: Maybe Jack was right.

Carina Smyth: About what?

Henry: The unscratchable itch.

[he goes to kiss her and she slaps his face]

Henry: Why did you do that for?

Carina Smyth: Just checking it's truly you. That you're not just a ghost.

Henry: It's me.

Carina Smyth: Then I was...

Henry: Wrong.

Carina Smyth: Slightly in error. Although one...

Henry: [now he kisses her] Apology accepted.

[last lines]

Gibbs: [consulting a map] What be our heading captain?

Captain Jack Sparrow: We should follow the stars, Master Gibbs.

Gibbs: Aye, AYE, Captain!

[throws the map away]

Captain Jack Sparrow: I have a rendezvous beyond my beloved horizon...

Captain Jack Sparrow: [realizing that Carina is Barbossa's daughter] Smyth? Smyth is quite an unusual name. Did we not once know some one called Smyth?

Captain Hector Barbossa: Shut your trap!

Captain Jack Sparrow: What was her name? It's on the tip of me tongue.

Captain Hector Barbossa: [Unsheathing his sword] Do you want to lose that tongue?

Captain Jack Sparrow: Margaret Smyth! Should we make an accord then? Or should I tell you-know-who what we both know to be true?

Captain Hector Barbossa: We both take this secret to our graves!

Captain Jack Sparrow: Oh! You mean it's true? I was bluffing.

Captain Hector Barbossa: I'm not!

Captain Jack Sparrow: I once knew a Spaniard named... something in Spanish.

Henry: El Matador del Mar. 'The Butcher of the Sea'.

Captain Hector Barbossa: My name is Captain Barbarossa. And I stand before you, with cordial intent.

Captain Salazar: Cordial intent... do you hear that? This pirate wishes to be cordial. So let me show you what my cordiality is, hombre. Every time I tap my sword, one of your men will die. So I suggest you speak quickly.

[taps his sword]

Captain Salazar: Olé!

[Barbossa's crew start dropping like flies]

Captain Salazar: Might want to go a bit faster, Capitan.

Captain Salazar: Where is Jack Sparrow?

Captain Hector Barbossa: Jack be sailing for the Trident.

Captain Salazar: No, the sea belongs to the dead.

Captain Hector Barbossa: The Trident controls the seas.

Captain Salazar: NO! No! There is no treasure, there is no treasure that can save him! He will die, as will you!

[draws his sword]

Captain Hector Barbossa: I be the only one that can lead you to him! I declare you shall have Jack's life by sunrise on the morrow. Or you can take me then. Do we have an accord?

[pause]

Captain Salazar: Take me to him, and you will live to tell the tale.

Captain Hector Barbossa: You have my word. I thank you, on behalf of me crew.

Captain Salazar: [laughs] Olé!

[taps his sword]

Captain Salazar: You can take what's left of them. The living come aboard!

Murtogg: I think we should tell each other where our treasures are buried, just in case one of us survives.

Mullroy: Oh, good idea.

Murtogg: You go first.

Mullroy: My treasure is buried between two crossed palm trees in an unmarked grave in Aruba. What about yours?

Murtogg: I haven't got any.

[Salazar is going to kill barbossa because Jack escaped him]

Captain Salazar: You promised me Jack's blood!

Captain Hector Barbossa: But Jack is trapped! He can never escape the island...

Captain Salazar: It's still land!

Carina Smyth: Give me my diary

Captain Jack Sparrow: Give me The Map That No Man Can Read

Carina Smyth: If you could read it then it wouldn't be called 'The Map That No Man Can Read'

Captain Jack Sparrow: Most of the men on this ship can't read, which makes all maps 'The Maps That No Man Can Read'

Carina Smyth: If you can't read it then you have no use for it, or me

Captain Jack Sparrow: [In prison] Uncle Jack?

Uncle Jack: Jackie, boy! How's it goin'?

Captain Jack Sparrow: [Being held by two guards] Can't complain, really. You?

Uncle Jack: I've been waiting in here all morning for a beating, but the service is terrible.

Captain Jack Sparrow: Shameful.

Uncle Jack: Have I ever told you about the one with the skeleton?

Captain Jack Sparrow: Yes, you have, many times...

Uncle Jack: A skeleton goes into a bar, and orders a beer and a mop!

Captain Jack Sparrow: ...Funny as ever.

Uncle Jack: If they disembowel you, ask for Victor, he's got the softest hands.

Captain Jack Sparrow: Thank you!

Uncle Jack: Mention my name, and they won't cut your feet off.

Gibbs: Jack always said that if anything happened to him, he wanted you to be Captain.

Scrum: But the men voted for you. That's why you got the Captain's hat.

Gibbs: Be that as it may, them were his wishes, so be a good lad and take the wheel. And the Captain's hat.

[Puts the hat on Scrum's head]

Scrum: This is the proudest moment of my...

[Cut to Scrum being pummelled by Scarfield's men]

Scarfield: We will beat your Captain to death until he reveals where you're heading.

[Gibbs looks on feigning innocence]