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Sergeant John MacLellan: Welcome to Watertown, motherfucker!
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Whiskey Steakhouse Analyst: He's got more porn than Osama bin Laden.
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Tommy Saunders: We got multiple explosions. We need help down here!
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Sergeant Jeffrey Pugliese: 77-16 to Control: need an ambulance on Laurel Avenue. Suspect in custody, shot and run over. I repeat: shot and run over. I gotta fucking quit smoking.
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Tommy Saunders: I gotta find these motherfuckers, Carol. We gotta get out there and we gotta find these motherfuckers before they do this to somebody else.
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Dun Meng: Go catch those motherfuckers!
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Police Officer: They got fucking bombs, Sarge. They're shooting at us!
Sergeant Jeffrey Pugliese: Yeah, no shit.
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Tommy Saunders: Guys, the lobster is back.
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Tommy Saunders: Are you fucking eating Cheerios on my couch?
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Special Agent Richard DesLauriers: It is terrorism, we will take it.
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Commissioner Ed Davis: How do you feel?
Tommy Saunders: The knee hurts, the back hurts, the balls hurts, the pain feels like sometimes on the top of the hurt if that's remotely possible.
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Special Agent Richard DesLauriers: Well, for this I need the cooperation of all. But when this is over, I'm going to find the person who gave them the photos. And I will destroy him. I'm not dear to Fox News leading this investigation.
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Dzhokhar Tsarnaev: Brother, I'm not cowering me for nothing. I only thought of Martin Luther King.
Tamerlan Tsarnaev: Martin Luther King was a liar. He was a hypocrite and a fornicator.
Dzhokhar Tsarnaev: Well, I am a fornicator.
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Tommy Saunders: You know, takes a lotta balls to escape like you did. You're a very brave guy, you hear me?
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[David Ortiz is speaking to the crowd at Fenway Park after the second bomber is caught]
David Ortiz: This is our fucking city! And nobody is going to dictate our freedom. Stay strong!
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Interrogator: Are there more bombs?
Katherine Russell: I want a lawyer.
Interrogator: No.
Katherine Russell: No? "No" what?
Interrogator: No.
Katherine Russell: I have rights.
Interrogator: You ain't got shit, sweetheart.
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Jessica Kensky: [recuperating in the hospital] Bet I'll run the marathon before you.
Patrick Downes: It's "befo' you."
Jessica Kensky: Before you.
Patrick Downes: "Befo' you." The "R" is silent.
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Sergeant Jeffrey Pugliese: I seriously have to quit smoking!
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Officer on Roof: [on a rooftop targeting David Henneberry's boat with Dzhokhar in it] Who the fuck are you?
Sniper: Ma'am, we're with the FBI. You can go ahead and step down now. We got this.
Officer on Roof: FBI? Boston FBI?
Sniper: No, ma'am. We're from Quantico.
Officer on Roof: Well, I'm from Framingham, Massachusetts and this is my spot and I ain't fucking leaving.
Sniper: Glad to have you with us, ma'am.
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Katherine Russell: For a Muslim woman, marriage is a lilting dance of duality, strength and submission. Beautiful, selfless, rapturous love of two masters, the carnal and the divine. The life a Muslim woman lives is a dangerous and difficult one. If she does not submit to her husband, there is a spot reserved for her in Hell. Yes. My husband kissed me before he left, and he will kiss me again when I see him in Heaven. And you can't prove anything.
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Commissioner Ed Davis: What's up, Tommy?
Tommy Saunders: Whoa, this is an occasion, Chomish here in an SUV?
Commissioner Ed Davis: Is this a homicide?
Tommy Saunders: It's not, you've been misinformed.
Commissioner Ed Davis: You're f***ing kidding me, it's not a homicide?
Tommy Saunders: Nope.
Harrold: No sir, no sir.
Commissioner Ed Davis: Why are you bleeding?
Harrold: I'm trying to tell you officer, sir, this woman is crazy, she hit me with a fucking smoothie in the head!
Tommy Saunders: What are you talking, like a drink, or something?
Harrold: No, like a f**king smoothie, you know, like you would smooth your cloths out with.
Tommy Saunders: An iron?
Commissioner Ed Davis: An iron?
Tommy Saunders: A f**king iron?
Commissioner Ed Davis: For f**k sake!
Tommy Saunders: It's called an iron Harold!
Harrold: Yes sir, a smoothie.
Tommy Saunders: Shut the f**k up!
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Tommy Saunders: What happened with "Shan-creek-a"?
Harrold: I was just going over there to have an appointment with this female, and this lady came out of nowhere and brained me with a smoothie.
Tommy Saunders: Her daughter said you pushed her.
Harrold: Sir, i was tryin' to make an escape...
Tommy Saunders: Did you push her?
Harrold: After the smoothie.
Tommy Saunders: So you did...
Commissioner Ed Davis: What's up, Tommy?
Tommy Saunders: Whoa, this an occasion. Comish exittin' the SUV?
Commissioner Ed Davis: Is this a homicide?
Tommy Saunders: It's not, you've been misinformed.
Commissioner Ed Davis: You're fucking kidding me, it's not a homicide?
Tommy Saunders: Nope.
Harrold: No sir. No sir.
Commissioner Ed Davis: Why are you bleeding?
Harrold: I was trying' to tell you officers, sir. This woman is crazy. She hit me with a fucking smoothie in the head.
Tommy Saunders: What are you talking about? Like, a drink or somethin'?
Harrold: No, like a fuckin' smoothie, you know? Like you would smooth your cloths with?
Tommy Saunders: An iron? A fucking iron?
Commissioner Ed Davis: An iron. For fuck sake!
Tommy Saunders: It's called an iron, Harrold.
Harrold: Yes sir, a smoothie!
Tommy Saunders: Shut up!
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Superintendent Billy Evans: [after shots are fired into the boat where Dzhokhar Tsarnaev is hiding] I'll tell ya, that boat ain't gonna float.
Patriots Day Quotes
Extended Reading
