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[justifying why he doesn't want to buy a car]
Randy: Do you know that it's safer to fly then it is to drive a car?
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Detective Dehling: Why would God fill me with this desire if I wasn't meant to be with her?
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Randy: You like water?
Jewel: I love it. It's actually my second favorite thing in the world.
Randy: Really? And what's your first most?
Jewel: Fucking.
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[first lines]
Bingo Caller: N-43. Four-three on the N.
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[last lines]
Carl: Thank you, Go...
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Randy: There's the ten-thousand dollars... well, aren't you gonna count it?
Mr. Burmeister: Nah.
Randy: You trust me?
Mr. Burmeister: No, but I kill people.
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Detective Dehling: How can I not question our creator for putting this human obscenity into the presence of such a divine creature?
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Carl: Yes, I have this great job, and this great office, and this great family, and this great house...
Dr. Green: How does this make you feel?
Carl: Empty
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Randy: You might wanna go home and sober up for an hour or two before goin' in and facin' the partners of Dewey, Cheetum and Howe.
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Carl: Hey, let's go to one of those after-hour clubs! They got these long, long legged girls there. You can look at them and maybe touch them. Come on! You know where they are!. Come on, what do you think... what, because I'm married, I don't know about this?
Randy: It's because you are married means you're gettin' it a whole lot more than me.
Carl: ...That's a depressing thought.
One Night at McCool's Quotes
Extended Reading
