On Her Majesty's Secret Service Quotes

Draco: My apologies for the way you were brought here. I wasn't sure you'd accept a *formal* invitation.

James Bond: There's always something formal about the point of a pistol.

[a bad guy chasing Bond skis into a snow blower, which then spews red snow]

James Bond: He had a lot of guts.

Sir Hilary Bray: Our methods are very exacting. We never like to speak until we're *absolutely* certain that there can be no possibility of error on our side or... forgery on anyone else's.

James Bond: I hope I can live up to your high standards.

Tracy: You're hurting me.

James Bond: I thought that was the idea for tonight.

[last lines]

James Bond: [Tracy has just been shot and killed] It's all right. It's quite all right, really. She's having a rest. We'll be going on soon. There's no hurry, you see. We have all the time in the world.

[first lines]

Q: I've been saying for years, sir, that our special equipment is obsolete. And now, computer analysis reveals an entirely new approach: miniaturization. For instance, radioactive lint. When placed in an opponent's pockets, the anti-personnel and location fix seems fairly obvious.

M: What we want is a location fix on 007.

[Bond throws a knife and hits a calendar on a bookshelf, on the 14th day]

Draco: But today is the thirteenth, Commander.

James Bond: I'm superstitious.

[after Blofeld hits a tree]

James Bond: He's branched off.

Draco: She likes you, I can see it.

James Bond: You must give me the name of your oculist.

Tracy: Why do you persist in rescuing me, Mr. Bond?

James Bond: It's becoming quite a habit, isn't it, Contessa Teresa?

Tracy: Teresa was a Saint; I'm known as Tracy.

James Bond: Well, Tracy, next time play it safe and stand on 5.

Tracy: People who want to stay *alive* play it safe.

James Bond: Please, stay alive! At least for tonight.

Tracy: [Throws down her hotel room key and gets up to leave] Come later.

[Draco proposes that Bond marries his daughter]

James Bond: I find her fascinating. But, she needs a psychiatrist, not me.

Draco: [abruptly] What she needs is a man... to *dominate* her! To make love to her enough to make her love him! A man like you!

[a girl writes on Bond's leg under the table, to which Bond makes an awkward face]

Irma Bunt: Is anything ze matter, Sir Hilary?

James Bond: Just a slight stiffness coming on... due to the altitude, no doubt.

Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Merry Christmas, 007.

James Bond: [as Hillary Bray] I'm Sir Hillary Bray.

Ernst Stavro Blofeld: No no no, Mr. Bond. Respectable baronets from the College of Heralds do "not" seduce female patients in clinics. On the other hand, they do get their professional details... "right". The De Bleauchamps tombs are "not" in the Augsburg Cathedral as you said, but in the Ste. Anna Kirch. Sir Hillary Bray would have known!

[Bond looks down and sighs, finally aware that he has been made]

Ernst Stavro Blofeld: [beat] Small slip. It takes more than a few props to turn 007 into a Herald.

[breaks Bond's glasses]

James Bond: [normal voice] It'll take more than cutting off your earlobes, Blofeld, to turn you into a Count.

Ernst Stavro Blofeld: I may yet surprise you. But I'm afraid you have no more surprises left for me. I know all about your mission, Mr. Bond.

[Blofeld throws Campbell's mountain climbing equipment at the floor]

Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Your colleague! Such a keen climber, and a brilliant conversationalist... before he left us.

James Bond: You realize that he reported where I am.

Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Oh, I doubt that. In any case, no one is coming to your rescue, Mr. Bond. In a few short hours, the United Nations will receive a Yuletide greeting. The information that I now possess the scientific means to control, or to destroy, the economy of the whole world. People will have more important things to deal with than you.

[M refuses to authorize an attack on Blofeld]

James Bond: And the girl who helped me escape? We just leave her there?

M: This department is not concerned with your personal problems.

James Bond: This department owes her a *debt*. She saved my life.

M: Operation Bedlam is DEAD! Do you understand, 007?

James Bond: Yes, Sir. I understand.

[Bond is secretly asking Draco for assistance]

James Bond: I'd like to interest you in a demolition deal that requires certain aerial activity to install equipment.

[Bond has realized what Blofeld is really up to]

James Bond: Allergy vaccines? Bacteria. Bacteriological Warfare.

Ernst Stavro Blofeld: With a difference. Our big breakthrough since last summer has been the confection of a certain... Virus Omega.

James Bond: Infertility.

Ernst Stavro Blofeld: TOTAL Infertility! In plants and animals. Not just disease in a few herds, Mr. Bond. Or the loss of a single crop. But the destruction of a whole strain. Forever! Throughout an entire continent. If my demands are not met, I shall proceed with the systematic extinction of whole species of cereals and livestock all over the world!

[Blofeld wants to share his life with Tracy]

Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Now, if you're very, very nice to me. I could make you my Countess.

Tracy: But I'm already a Countess.

Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Whereas if you displease me, I can promise you a very *different* estate.

James Bond: Unusually small for a Nymphalis polychloros.

M: I wasn't aware that your expertise included lepidoptery.

M: Miss Moneypenny, have you checked with communications?

Moneypenny: Well, replies to our Cairo, Amsterdam and Madrid inquiries - all negative, sir.

M: The PM wants to be informed personally when we find 007.

Casino Guest: [to Bond] The dame can't pay up.

James Bond: [to Countess Tracy di Vicenzo] Forgive me, my mind was elsewhere. Madame, you've forgotten we agreed to be partners this evening.

[Throws chips on the table to pay off her debt]

James Bond: Please continue.

Tracy: You're very sure of yourself, aren't you? Suppose I were to kill you for a thrill.

James Bond: I can think of something more sociable to do.

Tracy: So, you know your perfumes. What else do you know?

James Bond: A little about women.

Tracy: Think about me - as a woman you just bought.

James Bond: Who needs to buy?

Tracy: The only thing you need know about me is that I pay my debts.

James Bond: 20,000 francs is a lot of money.

Tracy: MMMmmm.

[Kisses Bond]

Draco: A martini for our guest, Olympe.

Olympe: A pleasure.

Draco: Shaken, not stirred.

Olympe: Of course.

Draco: A Compari, for me.

Draco: Listen to me, on the day you marry her, I'll give you a personal dowry of one million pounds in gold.

James Bond: That's quite an inducement - but, I don't need a million pounds.

Draco: Stupido!

James Bond: And I have a bachelor's taste for freedom.

Draco: Please! Just tease her some more. Who knows what will come of it.

James Bond: You have connections not open to me. Where is Ernst Stavro Blofeld?

Draco: Blofeld? Some of my men have recently defected to him. I don't know where he is.

James Bond: Can you find out?

Draco: If I could, I wouldn't tell Her Majesty's Secret Service.

Moneypenny: James! Where have you been?

James Bond: Much too far from you, darling.

Moneypenny: Oh, same old James.

[James puts his hands on Moneypenny's behind]

Moneypenny: Only more so! Heartless, brute! Letting me pine away without even a postcard.

James Bond: Pine no more. Cocktails at my place, eightish. Just the two of us.

Moneypenny: Aw, I'd adore that. If only I could trust myself.

James Bond: Same old Moneypenny. Britain's last line of defense.

M: I'm relieving you from Operation Bedlam, 007.

James Bond: But, sir, Blofeld's something of a must with me.

M: You've had two years to run him down.

James Bond: Does this mean you've lost confidence in me?

M: I'm well aware of your talents, 007. But Licensed to Kill is *useless* - unless one can set up a target. I'll find you a more suitable assignment. That's all.

Moneypenny: That was a quick conference. How do you expect a girl to keep herself alluring...

James Bond: Take a memo, please, Moneypenny.

Moneypenny: Ready, James.

James Bond: Sir, I have the honor to request you will accept my resignation, effective forthwith.

Moneypenny: Resignation from what?

James Bond: Her Majesty's Secret Service. And kindly present it to that monument in there.

James Bond: Moneypenny, what would I do without you?

Moneypenny: My problem is that you never do anything with me.

Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Provide him with the usual comforts.

Irma Bunt: Ya!

Waiter: What will you drink sir?

James Bond: Malt whiskey and branch water, please.

Irma Bunt: Your stiffness - of last night - it is all gone?

James Bond: For the time being, I think.

James Bond: Once they're warned, you'll have a problem dispensing the stuff.

Ernst Stavro Blofeld: That problem has already been solved. I've been training my own special - angels of death.

James Bond: Those girls.

Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Those girls - and many others like them.

James Bond: But exactly how?

Ernst Stavro Blofeld: That will remain my secret.

James Bond: Now, when we authorize a coat of arms, it can include all sorts of funny things: crescent moons, portcullis, beasts, cochons, rampants, bars, bezants.

Nancy: Please, what is bezants?

James Bond: Gold balls. I brought a book on the subject with me. There's a picture of my own coat of arms, actually - which includes four of them. If you'd care to see them.

Ruby: I'd love to!

James Bond: Maybe he didn't see me.

Tracy: I wouldn't go banco on that.

James Bond: Giving up bad habits, eh?

Tracy: Why are they looking for you?

James Bond: I suspect, they're trying to kill me.

James Bond: Her Majesty's Secret Service is still my job.

Tracy: But, there isn't anything you can do about your job at the moment, is there?

James Bond: No.

Tracy: Then why are you thinking about it now?

James Bond: I'm not. I'm thinking about us.

James Bond: [Placing a phone call] Hello, Draco.

Draco: Yes, who is it?

James Bond: Bond, James Bond.

Tracy: Take me to the Alpine Room.

Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Are you unhappy here?

Tracy: I want to see the dawn.

Ernst Stavro Blofeld: So - poetic a pleasure. What were all the world's charms to mighty Paris, when he found that dawn in the arms of his Helen?

Q: Look, James, I know that we haven't always exactly seen, well, anyway, don't forget, if there's anything you ever need...

James Bond: Thank you, Q, but, this time I've got the gadgets

[looks over towards Tracy]

James Bond: and I know how to use them.

James Bond: [about to spend the night in a barn] Sorry about the accommodations, Contessa.

Tracy: We should have rung ahead and booked.

James Bond: [Bond lets his kilt drop while undressing]

Ruby: It's true!

[giggles wildly]

Draco: [as Draco and his group are evacuating to the waiting helicopters, after the commando-style attack on Blofeld's compound] Where are you going?

Tracy: [trying to go back to the compound] Look out... where's James?

Draco: Don't worry. He'll join us soon.

Tracy: But we can't leave him!

Draco: He doesn't need your help!

Tracy: I will *not* go without him!

Draco: You'll have to!

[punches her in the face, knocking her unconscious; he and one of his henchman load her onto the helicopter]

Draco: Spare the rod and spoil the child, eh?

James Bond: [talking to the girls in the Alpine Room at Blofeld's compound] Genealogy is all about ancestors and families. I mean, it could easily be that any one of you here, is related to a royal house. If only we could go back far enough to find out. Now, if you will tell me your names...

Irma Bunt: [interrupting] We do not use surnames here. It is a rule of the clinic.

James Bond: Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know that.

Irma Bunt: Come. It's time for dinner. Our schedule is rather strict. So is our diet.

Irma Bunt: Sir Hilary, if you would sit here. Between Helen and Ruby.

James Bond: I'm afraid I've never had much to do with, uh, young ladies.

Irma Bunt: I've ordered you a steak "Piz Gloria." I hope you enjoy it.

James Bond: Thank you. I'm sure I will.