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Billy Ray: So, I heard you turned 80 today.
Norman: Is that what you heard?
Billy Ray: Yeah. Man, that's really old.
Norman: You should meet my father.
Billy Ray: Your father's still alive?
Norman: No, but you should meet him.
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[to Ethel]
Norman: Wanna dance or would you rather just suck face?
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Ethel: That son of a bitch happens to be my husband.
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Chelsea Thayer Wayne: It just seems like we've been mad at each other for so long...
Norman: I didn't think we were mad; I just thought we didn't like each other.
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Billy Ray: A canoe! Just like the Indians used.
Norman: Actually, the Indians used a different grade of aluminum.
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Bill Ray: You're having a good time, aren't you?
Norman: Huh?
Bill Ray: Chelsea told me all about how you like to have a good old time with people's heads. She does too, sometimes. Sometimes I can get into it and sometimes not. I think you should know, I'm pretty good at recognizing crap when I hear it. You know, it's not imperative that you and I become friends. I thought it would be nice. I'm sure you're a very fascinating person, and I thought it would be fascinating getting to know you. That's obviously not an easy task... No. You just go ahead and be... as poopy as you want, to quote Chelsea, and I'll be as receptive and as pleasant as I can be. But I want you to bear one thing in mind while you're jerking me around, making me feel like an asshole. I know precisely what you're up to. I'll take just so much of it. Ok?... Now what is the bottom line on this illicit sex question?
Norman: Very good. That was a good speech. Bottom line, huh? You're a bottom line man? All right, here's the bottom line... Okay.
Bill Ray: Hm?
Norman: You seem like a nice man. A bit verbose, but nice...
Bill Ray: Thank you.
Norman: ...and you're right about me. I am fascinating.
Bill Ray: I'm sure you are.
Norman: Let's get back to talking about sex... anything you want to know, just ask me.
Bill Ray: No, I just... uh, I just wanted to clear up that little question. Chelsea and I can sleep together, right?
Norman: Sure, please do.
[pauses, resumes reading]
Norman: Just don't let Ethel catch you.
-
Norman: You like that word, don't you? Bullshit.
Billy Ray: Yeah
Norman: It's a good word
-
Ethel: [to Chelsea] Don't you think that everyone looks back on their childhood with a certain amount of bitterness and regret about something? You're a big girl now. Aren't you tired of it all? Bore, bore. It doesn't have to ruin your life, darling. Life marches by, Chels. I suggest you get on with it.
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Norman: "Ethel Thayer." It sounds like I'm lisping, doesn't it?
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Ethel: Come here, Norman. Hurry up. The loons! The loons! They're welcoming us back.
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Ethel: You know, Norman, you really are the sweetest man in the world, but I'm the only one who knows it.
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Bill Ray: [as he heads out to the lake to go skinny-dipping with Ethel and Chelsea] Are there any bears around here?
Norman: Oh, sure. Black bears and grizzlies. One of 'em came along here last month and ate an old lesbian.
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Ethel: Don't be such an old poop!
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Norman: There's someone at the door!
Ethel: It's me, you old poop!
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Norman: [while reading the newspaper] Look at the Goddamned Orioles! Baltimore's always been a sneaky town!
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Charlie Martin: How old will you be? On your birthday?
Norman: A hundred and three.
Charlie Martin: Ms. Appley had a birthday. She turned 97.
Ethel: Do you hear that Norman? Ninety-seven!
Norman: [referring to the fact that Ms. Appley was a lesbian] There's something to be said for a deviant lifestyle!
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Norman: [responding to Billy Ray's request to share a bedroom with Chelsea] I guess I'd be delighted to have you abuse my daughter under my own roof. Would you like the room where I first violated her mother? Or would you be interested in the master bedroom? Ethel, your boy and I could sleep out back. You could do it right here on the hearth. Like that idea?
-
Norman: You want to know why I came back so fast? I got to the end of our lane. I couldn't remember where the old town road was. I went a little ways in the woods. There was nothing familar. Not one damn tree. Scared me half to death. That's why I came running back here to you. So I could see your pretty face and I could feel safe and that I was still me.
Ethel: You're safe, you old poop and you're definitely still you picking on poor old Charlie. After lunch, after we've gobbled up all those silly strawberries we'll take ourselves to the old town road. We've been there a thousand times. A thousand. And you'll remember it all. Listen to me, mister. You're my knight in shining armour. Don't you forget it. You're gonna get back up on that horse and I'm gonna be right behind you holding on tight and away we're gonna go, go, go.
Norman: I don't like horses. You are a pretty old dame aren't you? What are you doing with a dotty old son of a bitch like me?
Ethel: Well, I haven't the vaguest idea.
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Norman: [Looking at an old family photo of himself, his wife and daughter] Who the hell is that? Who in the hell is in this picture here?
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Bill Ray: Well, how does it feel to turn eighty?
Norman: Twice as bad as it did turning forty.
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Billy Ray: [after his father and Chelsea left] I might not stick around here. I might just haul my ass up to Wyoming, Puerto Rico, one of those places. Listen, I know I'm just being dumped here. Just like my middle name. You turkeys don't want me.
Norman: [quietly, yet emphatically] Bullshit. I'm sixty-seven years older than you. How do you know what I want?
-
Norman: [on phone] Operator, I wondered what you called me for... oh, I called you.
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[last lines]
Norman Thayer Jr.: Ethel, listen. The loons. They came around to say goodbye.
[They walk to the lake shore]
Norman Thayer Jr.: It's just the two of them now. The baby is all grown up and... moved to Los Angeles, or somewhere.
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Norman Thayer Jr.: Norman Don't go getting involved with any foreigners Chelsea Right
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Chelsea Thayer Wayne: I... I want to be your friend.
On Golden Pond Quotes
Extended Reading
