Ocean's Thirteen Quotes

  • Turk Malloy: [referring to Willy Bank while standing around Reuben's hospital bed] I don't care if it gets messy.

    Virgil Malloy: I'll drive you. We'll get him leaving his barber.

    Livingston Dell: And I'll inject him.

    Basher Tarr: And I'll find a spot to get rid of the body.

    Rusty Ryan: All valid ideas. Great initiative. But...

    Danny Ocean: But...

  • Reuben Tishkoff: [at construction site after business hours, with one of Bank's security guards walking slowly directly in front of him] You're going to throw me off the roof now?

    Willy Bank: I don't want to.

  • Turk Malloy: [referring to hacking into Bank's computer system] Are you in yet?

    Virgil Malloy: [knowing he was referring to that line spoken during sexual intercourse] I hate that question.

  • Rusty Ryan: [referring to Isabel] Well, she said she liked surprises...

    Danny Ocean: Uh huh, and?

    Rusty Ryan: When I gave her one, she dropped the remote on the table and I put the towel back on.

  • Rusty Ryan: They built 'em smaller back then.

    Danny Ocean: Yeah, but they seemed big.

  • Terry Benedict: [referring to Danny donating Terry's share of the money to charity] You think this is funny?

    Danny Ocean: Well, Terry, it sure as shit ain't sad.

  • Yen: [pointing at Danny, Rusty and Linus] Shit. Shit. Shit.

  • [first lines]

    Rusty Ryan: [answering phone] Yeah. Shit. Where is he? Gotta go.

  • [last lines]

    The V.U.P.: [at the airport while standing on the chair] I won! Look at this! I won $11 million! Can you believe it? Look at that! I won $11 million. Did you see that? I can't believe it!

  • Reuben Tishkoff: We'll talk about it when I'm dead.

  • Roman Nagel: You do know what a magnetron is?

    Danny Ocean: [pause] Something that screws up the Greco?

  • Turk Malloy: Don't change the facial structure.

    Virgil Malloy: I'm making you taller. Don't you want to be taller? You're a midget in 34 states.

    Turk Malloy: Yeah, well, I'm an animal in the other 34.

    Virgil Malloy: [turns and stares at Turk]

    Turk Malloy: 24. 22.

  • Willy Bank: You know, you're half smart, Ocean.

  • Roman Nagel: [to Danny and Rusty] You're analog players in a digital world. You're done.

  • Linus Caldwell: [passing Yen off as a whale] He owns all of the air south of Beijing.

    Abigail Sponder: [disbelieving] The air?

    Linus Caldwell: Let me put it to you this way: try building something taller than three stories in the Tiangjin province, and see if his name comes up.

  • Rusty Ryan: Turn the machine off, guys.

    Turk Malloy: It is off.

    Rusty Ryan: Are you kidding?

    Turk Malloy: Does it sound like I'm laughing, sweetheart?

  • Abigail Sponder: [after a small earthquake] What was that?

    Linus Caldwell: You felt it too?

  • Linus Caldwell: [Linus is talking to his dad on the phone] No, Dad. It will work.

    [Danny puts his hand out for the phone]

    Linus Caldwell: No Dad, I won't put Danny on.

    [Rusty puts his hand out for the phone]

    Linus Caldwell: Or Rusty.

  • [Danny, Rusty, and Linus are talking to Benedict]

    Rusty Ryan: It can't be done.

    Linus Caldwell: We don't have the manpower.

    Danny Ocean: Or the time.

    Rusty Ryan: Or a way in.

  • Danny Ocean: [to Willy Bank] You shook Sinatra's hand. You should know better.

  • Linus Caldwell: It is not a prop for prop's sake!

  • Rusty Ryan: Relationships can be...

    Danny Ocean: Sure.

    Rusty Ryan: But they're also...

    Danny Ocean: That's right.

  • Saul Bloom: When they opened The Flamingo, one day it was closed, the next it was open. End of story. I know, I was there.

  • Roman Nagel: You're like the Morecambe and Wise of the thievery world, but even they went off the boil after a while.

  • Basher Tarr: [dressed as Evel Knievel] Mr. Banks. Do you know what Chuck Berry said every night before counting one, two, three, four?

    Willy Bank: What did he say?

    Basher Tarr: Pay me my money.

  • Virgil Malloy: [as he and Turk leave a factory in Mexico] Nestor says hang tough.

  • Linus Caldwell: [to Danny and Rusty at the airport] I'll see you, when I see you!

  • Danny Ocean: [at the airport] Alright, well... I'll see you when I see you

    Rusty Ryan: Hey, next time? Try keeping the weight off in between.

    Danny Ocean: Hey. Settle down. Have a couple of kids.

  • Danny Ocean: [during the tunnel boring machine induced earthquake as the casino is being evacuated when the machine is shut down and quake continues] This is not time for jokes, fellas!

    Turk Malloy: [underground with the TBM] Does it sound like I'm laughing, sweetheart.

  • Turk Malloy: That was good.

    Virgil Malloy: I know. That's why they asked me to do it and not you.

    Turk Malloy: Okay, this is me offering you an olive basket. And this is you spitting in my face.

    Virgil Malloy: Oh, is that your face?

  • Rusty Ryan: [referring to Tess] Did she understand?

    Danny Ocean: It's not their fight.

    Rusty Ryan: Did she understand?

    Danny Ocean: [pauses, referring to Tess] It's not their fight.

  • Linus Caldwell: [after Rusty and Danny get off the plane] Hey, where are Tess and Isabel?

    Danny Ocean: It's not their fight!

    Linus Caldwell: Whoa!

  • Danny Ocean: [at a construction site during work hours] What I want; what's most important to me is that Reuben gets his share of the hotel restored. Now I'm here to give you that chance.

    Willy Bank: Oh, you're gonna give me a chance?

    [laughs]

    Willy Bank: OK. Let me guess. It's a Billy Martin? I pass.

  • Roman Nagel: [in Ruben's home in Las Vegas] Good Lord. How stuck are you?

    Danny Ocean: Stuck.

    Rusty Ryan: Stalled, really.

    Danny Ocean: Stuck.

    Roman Nagel: Run it for me. Don't leave anything out. Give me the big picture.

    Danny Ocean: Do you wanna...?

    Rusty Ryan: [immediately] It's all yours.

    Danny Ocean: Where should we start?

    Rusty Ryan: [immediately] With the hotel.

  • Abigail Sponder: We're gonna have to let you go. Turn in your uniform.

    Fired Waitress: I only gained 4 pounds. You can't.

    Abigail Sponder: Yeah, well, your body index is not what it's supposed to be.

    Fired Waitress: But Ms. Sponder...

    Abigail Sponder: Oh, no, baby doll. It's your butt that's the problem.

    [walks away]

    Frank Catton: [voiceover] You can't fire no waitress based on appearance. Man, that's just unconstitutional.

    Danny Ocean: If they were waitresses.

    Linus Caldwell: Yeah, they're actually hired as 'models who serve' so that Bank can monitor their physical appearance.

    Rusty Ryan: It's a cruel, cruel practice.

  • Danny Ocean: [explaining about The Bank Casino to Roman at Ruben's home in Las Vegas] Bank's swinging for the one this one. Forget weekenders and conventioneers. He's built this place for whales. It's a shoo-in for the Five Diamond Award. The marble was hand-picked in Italy. The chefs stolen for the highest-rated restaurants in the Michelin guide book. In the villas, for his big players, the silverware is actually gold. Bank's greatest strength is also his weakness: ego. He's been spending his days checking and rechecking every inch of the property, getting ready for the big grand opening celebration. It's a complusion.

  • Linus Caldwell: [on the phone with Danny] The specs aren't on the gray market, the black market or any other market. And all I keep hearing is there's never been a system like this. Now, I found out where they designed it, but I can't even get in the building! I've blown all my buy money, my bribe money, four of my best ID's and I am nowhere! Not only am I nowhere, I'm pretty sure I'm being followed.

    Danny Ocean: [over the phone] Do you have anything?

    Linus Caldwell: Yeah, I think I have a name but I don't even know if it's right. They're calling it...

    Roman Nagel: [cuts scene] The Greco. The Greco Player Tracker.

  • Reuben Tishkoff: [seeing the poker chip Willy just tossed to him at a construction site after business hours] You changed the name?

    Willy Bank: [walking away] I like it better! Don't you?

  • Reuben Tishkoff: [to Bank about being double-crossed] There's a code amongst guys who shook Sinatra's hand!

    Willy Bank: Screw Sinatra's hand.

  • Turk Malloy: [dressing as a chef] I feel bad, like torture.

    Saul Bloom: [putting together the faux dog speaker] This is war, kid. There's going to be collateral damage!

  • Danny Ocean: [about the Greco Player Tracker] You mean it has a brain?

    Roman Nagel: [awed] A hell of a brain... It not only thinks, it reasons.

  • Rusty Ryan: [after being told the giant drill is down] Where does that put us?

    Basher Tarr: [in an English accent] Cattled!

  • Linus Caldwell: The Nose Plays!

    Danny Ocean: Oh, the nose plays.

    Rusty Ryan: The nose plays.

  • [Roman's away message]

    Roman Nagel: This is Roman Nagel. If your consciousness absolutely has to intrude upon mine... leave me a message.

  • Roman Nagel: Well, I'm gonna give you back the hundred grand.

    Danny Ocean: Why?

    Roman Nagel: Danny, I like you. And you, Rusty. I mean, you've got style. You've got brio. You've got loyalty. Believe me, I would love to go up against Greco and crush him... but it can't be beat. It can't be hacked and it can't be beat.

    Danny Ocean: Not even by you?

    Roman Nagel: Oh, with 18 months, nothing else on my plate, no other jobs, no women, no distractions... maybe.

    Rusty Ryan: But you know everything about this thing.

    Roman Nagel: Everything, except where it's being deployed. The inventor's an old schoolmate of mine. His name is Greco Montgomery. Pompous arse named it after himself.

    Rusty Ryan: Greco? Roman?

    Roman Nagel: You've obviously never served time in a British boarding school.

  • Frank Catton: [after Yen spoke in Chinese] What did he say about Samsung?

    Livingston Dell: He said he used to bowl with the owner of Samsung.

  • Willy Bank: [Commenting on a construction delay] How long do I have to wait for a conduit? I don't want the labor pains. I just want the baby!

  • Guest: [to Willy Bank as he leaves the hotel] A friend of mine, a very serious man, told me very seriously that it would be a good idea if I left the hotel. I'm taking his suggestion.

  • Reuben Tishkoff: The moment you become embarrassed of who you are, you lose yourself. I changed my house, the way I dressed, the way I ate - for what? For nothing.

  • Linus Caldwell: [as Abagail is standing behind the bar] Do you got wine back there?

    Abigail Sponder: [seduced by his chemically engineered scent] I got everything you need back here.

  • Rusty Ryan: I've gone through so many blueprints I can taste the ink through my fingers.

  • Linus Caldwell: We've shaken all the trees, we've looked under every rock, we've talked to everybody we can trust. I know it's not a great idea but it is an idea and as long as we have one idea we shouldn't give up.

  • Terry Benedict: Number one: if any of you try to screw me, you'll be dead. I'll be looking in on the operation just to make sure. Number two: I'm your senior partner, which means last money in, first money out and you will double my investment.

  • Rusty Ryan: Ok, the elevator guard has this little Hitler for a son, a real Ritalin surfer... are you OK?

    Danny Ocean: Yeah, I just bit into a pepper.

    Rusty Ryan: Anyhow... are you... uh...

    Danny Ocean: Hmmm?

    Rusty Ryan: Are you watching... Oprah? And drinking a bottle of wine? Did you TIVO this?

    Danny Ocean: I was reading the paper.

    Rusty Ryan: With the sound turned on full?

  • Rusty Ryan: [On the phone talking to Turk in Mexico] Are you sure you are going to get this done?

    Turk Malloy: [shouting into the phone] Yeah, we'll get it done, just need to break the management! I'll call you later!

    [Throws a Malatov cocktail at the factory guards]

Extended Reading
  • Aniyah 2021-10-20 19:01:51

    Compared with one and two

  • Muriel 2021-10-20 19:01:51

    Roberts looks good as soon as he doesn't appear decisive.