-
Turk Malloy: [referring to Willy Bank while standing around Reuben's hospital bed] I don't care if it gets messy.
Virgil Malloy: I'll drive you. We'll get him leaving his barber.
Livingston Dell: And I'll inject him.
Basher Tarr: And I'll find a spot to get rid of the body.
Rusty Ryan: All valid ideas. Great initiative. But...
Danny Ocean: But...
-
Reuben Tishkoff: [at construction site after business hours, with one of Bank's security guards walking slowly directly in front of him] You're going to throw me off the roof now?
Willy Bank: I don't want to.
-
Turk Malloy: [referring to hacking into Bank's computer system] Are you in yet?
Virgil Malloy: [knowing he was referring to that line spoken during sexual intercourse] I hate that question.
-
Rusty Ryan: [referring to Isabel] Well, she said she liked surprises...
Danny Ocean: Uh huh, and?
Rusty Ryan: When I gave her one, she dropped the remote on the table and I put the towel back on.
-
Rusty Ryan: They built 'em smaller back then.
Danny Ocean: Yeah, but they seemed big.
-
Terry Benedict: [referring to Danny donating Terry's share of the money to charity] You think this is funny?
Danny Ocean: Well, Terry, it sure as shit ain't sad.
-
Yen: [pointing at Danny, Rusty and Linus] Shit. Shit. Shit.
-
[first lines]
Rusty Ryan: [answering phone] Yeah. Shit. Where is he? Gotta go.
-
[last lines]
The V.U.P.: [at the airport while standing on the chair] I won! Look at this! I won $11 million! Can you believe it? Look at that! I won $11 million. Did you see that? I can't believe it!
-
Reuben Tishkoff: We'll talk about it when I'm dead.
-
Roman Nagel: You do know what a magnetron is?
Danny Ocean: [pause] Something that screws up the Greco?
-
Turk Malloy: Don't change the facial structure.
Virgil Malloy: I'm making you taller. Don't you want to be taller? You're a midget in 34 states.
Turk Malloy: Yeah, well, I'm an animal in the other 34.
Virgil Malloy: [turns and stares at Turk]
Turk Malloy: 24. 22.
-
Willy Bank: You know, you're half smart, Ocean.
-
Roman Nagel: [to Danny and Rusty] You're analog players in a digital world. You're done.
-
Linus Caldwell: [passing Yen off as a whale] He owns all of the air south of Beijing.
Abigail Sponder: [disbelieving] The air?
Linus Caldwell: Let me put it to you this way: try building something taller than three stories in the Tiangjin province, and see if his name comes up.
-
Rusty Ryan: Turn the machine off, guys.
Turk Malloy: It is off.
Rusty Ryan: Are you kidding?
Turk Malloy: Does it sound like I'm laughing, sweetheart?
-
Abigail Sponder: [after a small earthquake] What was that?
Linus Caldwell: You felt it too?
-
Linus Caldwell: [Linus is talking to his dad on the phone] No, Dad. It will work.
[Danny puts his hand out for the phone]
Linus Caldwell: No Dad, I won't put Danny on.
[Rusty puts his hand out for the phone]
Linus Caldwell: Or Rusty.
-
[Danny, Rusty, and Linus are talking to Benedict]
Rusty Ryan: It can't be done.
Linus Caldwell: We don't have the manpower.
Danny Ocean: Or the time.
Rusty Ryan: Or a way in.
-
Danny Ocean: [to Willy Bank] You shook Sinatra's hand. You should know better.
-
Linus Caldwell: It is not a prop for prop's sake!
-
Rusty Ryan: Relationships can be...
Danny Ocean: Sure.
Rusty Ryan: But they're also...
Danny Ocean: That's right.
-
Saul Bloom: When they opened The Flamingo, one day it was closed, the next it was open. End of story. I know, I was there.
-
Roman Nagel: You're like the Morecambe and Wise of the thievery world, but even they went off the boil after a while.
-
Basher Tarr: [dressed as Evel Knievel] Mr. Banks. Do you know what Chuck Berry said every night before counting one, two, three, four?
Willy Bank: What did he say?
Basher Tarr: Pay me my money.
-
Virgil Malloy: [as he and Turk leave a factory in Mexico] Nestor says hang tough.
-
Linus Caldwell: [to Danny and Rusty at the airport] I'll see you, when I see you!
-
Danny Ocean: [at the airport] Alright, well... I'll see you when I see you
Rusty Ryan: Hey, next time? Try keeping the weight off in between.
Danny Ocean: Hey. Settle down. Have a couple of kids.
-
Danny Ocean: [during the tunnel boring machine induced earthquake as the casino is being evacuated when the machine is shut down and quake continues] This is not time for jokes, fellas!
Turk Malloy: [underground with the TBM] Does it sound like I'm laughing, sweetheart.
-
Turk Malloy: That was good.
Virgil Malloy: I know. That's why they asked me to do it and not you.
Turk Malloy: Okay, this is me offering you an olive basket. And this is you spitting in my face.
Virgil Malloy: Oh, is that your face?
-
Rusty Ryan: [referring to Tess] Did she understand?
Danny Ocean: It's not their fight.
Rusty Ryan: Did she understand?
Danny Ocean: [pauses, referring to Tess] It's not their fight.
-
Linus Caldwell: [after Rusty and Danny get off the plane] Hey, where are Tess and Isabel?
Danny Ocean: It's not their fight!
Linus Caldwell: Whoa!
-
Danny Ocean: [at a construction site during work hours] What I want; what's most important to me is that Reuben gets his share of the hotel restored. Now I'm here to give you that chance.
Willy Bank: Oh, you're gonna give me a chance?
[laughs]
Willy Bank: OK. Let me guess. It's a Billy Martin? I pass.
-
Roman Nagel: [in Ruben's home in Las Vegas] Good Lord. How stuck are you?
Danny Ocean: Stuck.
Rusty Ryan: Stalled, really.
Danny Ocean: Stuck.
Roman Nagel: Run it for me. Don't leave anything out. Give me the big picture.
Danny Ocean: Do you wanna...?
Rusty Ryan: [immediately] It's all yours.
Danny Ocean: Where should we start?
Rusty Ryan: [immediately] With the hotel.
-
Abigail Sponder: We're gonna have to let you go. Turn in your uniform.
Fired Waitress: I only gained 4 pounds. You can't.
Abigail Sponder: Yeah, well, your body index is not what it's supposed to be.
Fired Waitress: But Ms. Sponder...
Abigail Sponder: Oh, no, baby doll. It's your butt that's the problem.
[walks away]
Frank Catton: [voiceover] You can't fire no waitress based on appearance. Man, that's just unconstitutional.
Danny Ocean: If they were waitresses.
Linus Caldwell: Yeah, they're actually hired as 'models who serve' so that Bank can monitor their physical appearance.
Rusty Ryan: It's a cruel, cruel practice.
-
Danny Ocean: [explaining about The Bank Casino to Roman at Ruben's home in Las Vegas] Bank's swinging for the one this one. Forget weekenders and conventioneers. He's built this place for whales. It's a shoo-in for the Five Diamond Award. The marble was hand-picked in Italy. The chefs stolen for the highest-rated restaurants in the Michelin guide book. In the villas, for his big players, the silverware is actually gold. Bank's greatest strength is also his weakness: ego. He's been spending his days checking and rechecking every inch of the property, getting ready for the big grand opening celebration. It's a complusion.
-
Linus Caldwell: [on the phone with Danny] The specs aren't on the gray market, the black market or any other market. And all I keep hearing is there's never been a system like this. Now, I found out where they designed it, but I can't even get in the building! I've blown all my buy money, my bribe money, four of my best ID's and I am nowhere! Not only am I nowhere, I'm pretty sure I'm being followed.
Danny Ocean: [over the phone] Do you have anything?
Linus Caldwell: Yeah, I think I have a name but I don't even know if it's right. They're calling it...
Roman Nagel: [cuts scene] The Greco. The Greco Player Tracker.
-
Reuben Tishkoff: [seeing the poker chip Willy just tossed to him at a construction site after business hours] You changed the name?
Willy Bank: [walking away] I like it better! Don't you?
-
Reuben Tishkoff: [to Bank about being double-crossed] There's a code amongst guys who shook Sinatra's hand!
Willy Bank: Screw Sinatra's hand.
-
Turk Malloy: [dressing as a chef] I feel bad, like torture.
Saul Bloom: [putting together the faux dog speaker] This is war, kid. There's going to be collateral damage!
-
Danny Ocean: [about the Greco Player Tracker] You mean it has a brain?
Roman Nagel: [awed] A hell of a brain... It not only thinks, it reasons.
-
Rusty Ryan: [after being told the giant drill is down] Where does that put us?
Basher Tarr: [in an English accent] Cattled!
-
Linus Caldwell: The Nose Plays!
Danny Ocean: Oh, the nose plays.
Rusty Ryan: The nose plays.
-
[Roman's away message]
Roman Nagel: This is Roman Nagel. If your consciousness absolutely has to intrude upon mine... leave me a message.
-
Roman Nagel: Well, I'm gonna give you back the hundred grand.
Danny Ocean: Why?
Roman Nagel: Danny, I like you. And you, Rusty. I mean, you've got style. You've got brio. You've got loyalty. Believe me, I would love to go up against Greco and crush him... but it can't be beat. It can't be hacked and it can't be beat.
Danny Ocean: Not even by you?
Roman Nagel: Oh, with 18 months, nothing else on my plate, no other jobs, no women, no distractions... maybe.
Rusty Ryan: But you know everything about this thing.
Roman Nagel: Everything, except where it's being deployed. The inventor's an old schoolmate of mine. His name is Greco Montgomery. Pompous arse named it after himself.
Rusty Ryan: Greco? Roman?
Roman Nagel: You've obviously never served time in a British boarding school.
-
Frank Catton: [after Yen spoke in Chinese] What did he say about Samsung?
Livingston Dell: He said he used to bowl with the owner of Samsung.
-
Willy Bank: [Commenting on a construction delay] How long do I have to wait for a conduit? I don't want the labor pains. I just want the baby!
-
Guest: [to Willy Bank as he leaves the hotel] A friend of mine, a very serious man, told me very seriously that it would be a good idea if I left the hotel. I'm taking his suggestion.
-
Reuben Tishkoff: The moment you become embarrassed of who you are, you lose yourself. I changed my house, the way I dressed, the way I ate - for what? For nothing.
-
Linus Caldwell: [as Abagail is standing behind the bar] Do you got wine back there?
Abigail Sponder: [seduced by his chemically engineered scent] I got everything you need back here.
-
Rusty Ryan: I've gone through so many blueprints I can taste the ink through my fingers.
-
Linus Caldwell: We've shaken all the trees, we've looked under every rock, we've talked to everybody we can trust. I know it's not a great idea but it is an idea and as long as we have one idea we shouldn't give up.
-
Terry Benedict: Number one: if any of you try to screw me, you'll be dead. I'll be looking in on the operation just to make sure. Number two: I'm your senior partner, which means last money in, first money out and you will double my investment.
-
Rusty Ryan: Ok, the elevator guard has this little Hitler for a son, a real Ritalin surfer... are you OK?
Danny Ocean: Yeah, I just bit into a pepper.
Rusty Ryan: Anyhow... are you... uh...
Danny Ocean: Hmmm?
Rusty Ryan: Are you watching... Oprah? And drinking a bottle of wine? Did you TIVO this?
Danny Ocean: I was reading the paper.
Rusty Ryan: With the sound turned on full?
-
Rusty Ryan: [On the phone talking to Turk in Mexico] Are you sure you are going to get this done?
Turk Malloy: [shouting into the phone] Yeah, we'll get it done, just need to break the management! I'll call you later!
[Throws a Malatov cocktail at the factory guards]
Ocean's Thirteen Quotes
Extended Reading
Director: Steven Soderbergh
Language: English,Mandarin,Spanish,French Release date: June 8, 2007