Nurse Betty Quotes

Charlie: People who get the calls are good. Not flashy, good. They get in, they get out, nobody knows a goddamn thing. You understand? Boom, boom, boom. Three in the head, you know they're dead.

Wesley: You know, that's kind of catchy.

Charlie: Yeah? Well I'll make you a fucking bumper sticker.

Betty: [sarcastic] Nothing like watching the tenpins fall.

Del: Hey, that's a skill. They're trying to get that in the Olympic games.

[about to perform a medical procedure on a gunshot victim]

Betty: No, I have to do this or he'll die. It's OK, I've seen it done once.

Charlie: How'd they describe her?

Wesley: You know, blonde, thin, whatever.

Charlie: Slow down: blonde, thin, yeah. Did they say anything about style? Did they mention grace?

Betty Sizemore: Gosh! I haven't been this happy since I was 12.

George McCord: Okay, I'll bite. What happened when you were 12?

Betty Sizemore: I took my mom to Kansas City for Mothers' Day and I used the allowance I was saving. We went to lunch at Skies, this restaurant at the top of a building, and you can see the whole world from up there. It was our last special thing 'cause she died that year. It was a great day.

George McCord: You just gave me goose bumps from that. You know that? That is just great improv!

Betty: [gesturing at Wesley's meat sandwich] You sure you don't want a salad?

Wesley: You sure you want a tip when I'm done?

Charlie: Where am I, Purgatory?

Wesley: Worse, Texas!

Betty Sizemore: He also works at Loma Vista.

Chief Nurse Iris Foster: What is that?

Betty Sizemore: It's the real pretty area, with the palm trees out front and the mountains in the background.

Chief Nurse Iris Foster: You have just described all of southern California.

Wesley: Did you have a good time? Did you make a wish? Get in touch with your blackness? Found your Betty... well, at least where she has been hanging out.

Charlie: Where? Where is she?

Wesley: Not telling you.

Charlie: What?

Wesley: Not telling you till you straighten up. Danced around like fucking bo-jangles out there, what the fuck? This has got to stop, and I mean it!

[as George is leaving after talking with Charlie]

Wesley: Actually, there is one more thing. I kinda thought you'd be able to let me have a little talk with Jasmine.

George McCord: Well you thought wrong.

Wesley: [Grabs his arm] Hey man! It's just an autograph, it's not for me.

George McCord: Oh, it never is.

[Wesley slaps him]

Wesley: You need to learn some fucking manners!

Sherrif Eldon Ballard: I've got two kids and a dog.

Wesley: Yeah, who don't?

[punches him]

Ellen: So, where are you headed, Betty?

Betty Sizemore: Los Angeles, California!

Betty Sizemore: And you called your friend and she's telling you not to go?

[Betty nods, regretfully]

Ellen: When I went to Europe, my friends told me I was crazy.

Betty Sizemore: Europe? *The* Europe? God, this is my first time out of Kansas!

Ellen: I should call you Dorothy.

[they both laugh]

[Charlie is criticizing Wesley for scalping Betty's husband]

Wesley: Why the fuck did you mention all them Indians for?

Charlie: Jesus Christ, Wesley! If I had mentioned Ty Cobb, would you have beat him to death with a baseball bat?

George McCord: Well, I don't know what you had in mind, but I hope you're happy. I put myself on the line for you, my reputation, and you're making me look like an idiot.

Betty Sizemore: What do you mean? What did I do to you?

George McCord: Who put you up to this? Did my ex-wife do this?

Betty Sizemore: David, please!

George McCord: [yells] Stop calling me that! My name is not David, My name is George! George! Say it! This is a TV show! A television show and if you really don't know the difference then you're more fucked up then I thought you were!

George McCord: [in an angry tone] You're not an actress, you're nothing but a soap opera groupie, aren't you? You have nothing better to do, do you? Well, why don't you get a fucking life, and stop ruining mine!

[Betty slowly begins to come out of her fugue state and realizes she is on the set of "A Reason To Love"]

George McCord: She gave me this one shot, one shot in my life to do this, and you have destroyed it! Thank you very much! Thanks, Betty, that was great!

[Betty is still in a daze as George is berating her in front of the cast and crew by singling her out, doing a pointing motion, while everyone is in shock at his behavior]

George McCord: She's fucking crazy! Don't look at me like that! You! tell them who I... Hey! Hey! Tell them who I am. Tell them.

Betty Sizemore: George McCord

George McCord: [sarcastically] No, no. No, no, no. No, not now. I am David. I am Dr. David Ravell! I'm the great Dr. David Ravell, right? Loma Vista's greatest. I'm the doctor! I don't think that! She thinks that!

[shocked at what has transpired]

George McCord: What?, Who did you call me?

Lyla: She called you George... George!

Charlie: Now I'm gonna tell you what stupid is. Stupid is taking something that doesn't belong to you. Right Wesley?

Wesley: That's right.

Charlie: Stupid is trying to sell it to other people who are, by their very nature, untrustworthy.

Wesley: That is so right.

Charlie: Stupid is calling people in Kansas City who are affiliated with the rightful owners of the thing you stole, and trying to sell it to them. Right Wesley?

Wesley: Now, that's really stupid.

Charlie: So you see, we have totally different ideas of what's stupid and what's not. Don't we?

Charlie: I'll tell you, if anyone got a raw deal it's the American Indian. This country has a black mark on its soul for what was done to them. I'm all for them owning casinos, getting rich off the white man's greed. It's a beautiful piece of irony, isn't it, Wesley?

Wesley: It sure is!

Charlie: Are you out of your fucking mind? What the hell is the matter with you?

[Del struggles to escape after being scalped by Wesley as Charlie pulls out his gun and shoots him to death]

Charlie: What the fuck is your problem?

Wesley: You told me to do it!

Charlie: That was to get him to talk

Charlie: So, give me an example of a stupid person doing a stupid thing. Not being stupid yourself, you're equipped to know. Right?

Del: Are we gonna get down to business here or not?

Charlie: Just give me one example.

Del: One? OK, OK. Burger King opens up. These assholes get excited and line up like they've never seen one before. Like it's some kind of five-star restaurant.

Charlie: Five stars?

Del: Yeah.

Charlie: How about it, Wesley? That sound stupid to you?

Wesley: No, that's ignorant. They just don't know any better.

Charlie: This is great, just great! Now we don't know where the goddamn stuff is.

Wesley: He told us it's in the Buick.

Charlie: We don't know which Buick, do we?

Wesley: Well, why'd you shoot him?

Charlie: I had to shoot him! It was the only decent thing to do AFTER YOU SCALPED HIM!

Wesley: You gave me a look!

Charlie: What look?

Wesley: That one look you got! I thought you were done, so I offed him.

Charlie: I wasn't done, I was just sick of hearing him whine. And you didn't off him, you scalped him. Christ, I almost puked, did I tell you that

Del Sizemore: Can we get down to business, please?

[Wesley pulls a gun out of his pocket and points it at Del's head]

Del Sizemore: [startled] Jesus Christ!

Wesley: He's waiting.

Del Sizemore: OK, OK, OK!, I don't know, Injuns are stupid.

Wesley: [shocked] Injuns?

Charlie: Del, did you just say "Injuns"?

Del Sizemore: Indians. Injuns, whatever. I mean, they're always getting drunk and doin' stupid shit.

Charlie: Like what?

Del Sizemore: Pukin' on the sidewalk. Stupid shit.

Charlie: Well, let's see, round here, that would be Kiowa, Kickapoo and Osage. Am I right about that?

Del Sizemore: I... I don't know.

Charlie: You don't know?

[Betty approaches George, Lyla and the rest of the "A Reason To Love" cast]

George McCord: Do I know you?

Betty Sizemore: Of course.

[giggling]

Betty Sizemore: Don't you remember?

George McCord: [hesitantly] I... I take it I should.

Betty Sizemore: Silly! It's me!

[looks at Lyla and the other two actors]

Betty Sizemore: We were engaged.

Lyla Branch: You were engaged?

George McCord: [shocked at what he heard] I... I beg your pardon?

Betty Sizemore: Letting you go, that was the biggest mistake of my life. And it's a mistake I've had to live with for six years, but I've put it behind me now. And I just hope that you can put it behind you, too. I've missed you. I've missed you, David.

[George, Lyla and the other actors laugh at Betty when they realize she's quoting the lines from an episode of "A Reason To Love"]

Friend #1: That's very nice.

Lyla Branch: That was very good.

George McCord: Greatly appreciate that. Wow. That was, wow!

Betty Sizemore: The day I left you, I just drove and drove. I drove all day and all that night, I just kept driving. I stopped at this old country church, and the pastor let me in. And I sat...

Lyla Branch: [interrupts] ... In the very first pew, where we would have sat on our wedding day. I can't believe I remembered that! Although I mean I should, I wrote it. But that was seven years ago, and you're quoting it verbatim. I'm flattered I think, or frightened. One or the other.

Rosa: This isn't fair, you know. Do you always get what you want?

Betty: No, almost never.

Rosa: But, you're in love with someone who doesn't exist. You come here, you meet this guy, who should laugh in your face, and instead you leave with him! Betty, you are one-of-a-kind.

Rosa: Guess who I saw today?

Betty: Who?

Rosa: Dr. David Ravell.

Betty: What? Where was he?

Rosa: [angrily] ON TELEVISION! Cut the shit, will you! Either you're making a fool out of me because you get off on it, or you got some serious problems. So which one is it, Betty?

Betty: What are you talking about, Rosa?

Rosa: I'm talking about Dr. David Ravell!

Betty: I know, I heard you, but I...

Rosa: [interrupts] You have a thing for an actor on some stupid white soap opera and we searched all over town for his character! Not the actor, whose real name is George, by the way, but his character, Betty!