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Neil: I am so sick of this stinkin' little buttcrack of a town!
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[first lines]
Brian: [narration voice-over] The summer I was 8 years old, five hours disappeared from my life. Five hours. Lost. Gone without a trace.
Brian: [narration voice-over] Last thing I remember I was sitting on the bench at my Little League game. It started to rain. What happened after that remains a pitch black void.
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[last lines]
Neil: [narration voice-over] And as we sat there listening to the carolers, I wanted to tell Brian it was over now and everything would be okay. But that was a lie, plus, I couldn't speak anyway. I wish there was some way for us to go back and undo the past. But there wasn't. There was nothing we could do. So I just stayed silent and trying to telepathically communicate how sorry I was about what had happened. And I thought of all the grief and sadness and fucked up suffering in the world, and it made me want to escape. I wished with all my heart that we could just leave this world behind. Rise like two angels in the night and magically... disappear.
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Neil, Age 8: Are you ready? Here we go.
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[narration voice-over]
Neil: I met Wendy Peterson when I was ten. She was eleven, one grade ahead of me in school. If I wasn't queer we would have ended up having sloppy teenage sex and getting pregnant, contributing more fucked-up unwanted kids to society. But instead, she became my soulmate. And... one true partner in crime.
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Neil: I hate it when they look like Tarzan but sound like Jane.
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NYC John: [to Neil] Fuck me! Fuck me up the ass with your hot, teenaged cock!
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Neil: As we sat there listening to the carolers, I wanted to tell Brian that it was over now and that everything would be okay. But that was a lie, plus I couldn't speak anyway. I wish there was some way to go back and undo the past. But there wasn't. There was nothing we could do. So I just stayed silent and tried to telepathically communicate how sorry I was about what happened. And I thought of all the grief and suffering and fucked up stuff in the world, and it made me want to escape. I wished with all my heart we could just leave this world behind. Rise like two angels in the night and magically disappear.
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Coach: I like you, Neil. I like you so much.
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Wendy: I can't believe I'm finally getting out of this fucking nowhere town!
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Eric: I got a postcard from Wendy.
Neil: I think she's mad at me because I owe her like 3 letters.
Eric: Yeah, her last P.S. is "Tell Fuckface to write me."
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Wendy: You'd better be careful.
Eric: Of what?
Wendy: I'm serious, Eric. You're not in Modesto anymore. I see the way you look at him.
Eric: He's so beautiful. I can't help it. He's like a god.
Wendy: You don't have to tell me, I was infatuated with him too once. But I know all Neil's secrets and there's shit there you don't even want to know about. Trust me. Once I'm gone, you'll be all Neil has and you have to understand one thing. Where normal people have a heart, Neil McCormick has a bottomless black hole. And if you don't watch out, you can fall in and get lost forever.
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Avalyn Friesen: [Walks through pasture with flashlight toward dead calf] Farmers have been finding mutilated cattle like this around here for years. I told "World of Mystery," but they conveniently edited it out.
[Kneels]
Avalyn Friesen: Daddy says it's just a bunch of Satan worshippers, going around, chopping up cows. Ha! C'mere - let me see your hand.
[Guides BRIAN's hand to wound on calf]
Avalyn Friesen: Feel that? It's the sex organs. They're gone. The aliens, they experiment on cattle, because the poor things are so defenseless. Us, on the other hand - they can't kill us. They just leave behind the hidden memories of what they've done. Which in a way is almost worse. Notice anything else strange? There's no blood. They took that, too.
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Brian: I was bleeding, I kept passing out, I wet my bed, and you never asked why!
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Brian: [giggles]
Eric: What?
Brian: I'm drunk. I've never been drunk in my life.
Eric: I'm corrupting you. Finally.
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Neil: Different folks, different strokes.
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Neil: You called me your fucking... angel.
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Neil: I stay in control.
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Eric: Incognito boy scott?
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Eric: Okay's a relative term.
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Brian: [Brian turns to his mother, responding to her comment about the silliness of "World of Mystery"] If you're gonna make fun, I just as soon watch it by myself.
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Eric: [in a postcard to Neil] So you still haven't written - big surprise - but Wendy says you're doing OK, which is cool. I've been wanting to tell you about this strange guy I met 3 weeks ago. No, we're not fucking, get your mind out of the gutter, perv. He's not even gay, I don't think - in fact, his vibe is kinda weirdly asexual. His name is Brian Lackey. He lives in Little River and, like yours truly, attends Hutchinson Loser Community College... So anyways, the day you left, your mom and I found him literally on your doorstep, looking for you. He says you and him played Little League together like 10 years ago. He was the worst player on the team, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah... He's full of questions about you. But, of course, I haven't told him much, i.e. about your "line of work". I did say you were queer like me, only 'cause I figured you wouldn't care. But now, are you ready for the good part? He thinks that when you and him were little, you were both abducted and examined by space aliens. How brilliant is that? But he was completely serious when he told me this. Like you should've seen the look in his eyes. So, what's the story, dude? Were you abducted by a UFO or what? P.S. - Are your crabs gone yet?
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Neil: You're the only one I ever told.
Wendy: I know.
Neil: I never told Eric or my Mom. And I know some people might think it's f_____d up, or whatever? But what happened that summer... is a huge part of me. No one ever made me feel that way, before or since. Like I was special.
Wendy: Neil, you were eight years old.
Neil: Yeah, but he really loved me. I mean, there were other kids sometimes, but... I was his prize. I was his one true love.
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Neil: [narrating] I've been masturbating for years but it was until that summer that jizz actually squirted out of my dick when I came.
Mysterious Skin Quotes
Extended Reading
