My Mom's New Boyfriend Quotes

Tommy Lucero: I'll be out of any jail you put me in by 3 o'clock Friday.

Inspector Laborde: And why is that?

Tommy Lucero: Oh, because I have to see someone at 4 o'clock on Friday.

Henry Durand: You - you have a boyfriend?

Martha Durand: A boyfriend? No... hell no. I'm not gonna make the same mistake I made with your father.

Henry Durand: Okay, good.

Martha Durand: I have several boyfriends.

Emily Lott: Party hearty, Marty.

Martha Durand: Anyway, it just took me a long time to realize that there was something missing inside.

Henry Durand: Missing from inside the house?

Martha Durand: No, Henry, missing inside here, spiritually.

Henry Durand: Oh.

Martha Durand: So started my quest for enlightenment, inner peace, inner joy, the person who'd gotten buried alive in a sea of nicotine and packaged cakes.

Martha Durand: I went to India.

Henry Durand: You went to India?

Martha Durand: Yeah.

Henry Durand: You used to never leave the house.

Henry Durand: And the reason why we're here is...?

Martha Durand: To have fun, because it's all over too freakin' fast.

Eddie: You were doing some sort of secret ops sort of stuff, right?

Henry Durand: Yeah.

Eddie: Would you tell me about it?

Henry Durand: If I did, it wouldn't be a secret.

Emily Lott: Do you ever think of your mom when we're having sex?

Henry Durand: Oh, God! Oh!

Emily Lott: It's just a question.

Henry Durand: Well, let me answer your question. No... no, I haven't. Thank God, I haven't. But you wanna know what? Now, I'm not sure how I'm gonna be able to not think about her. Thank you very much. Good night.

Tommy Lucero: Your eyes... your eyes don't lie, do they?

Martha Durand: Life's too short for lies.

Tommy Lucero: What do you see when you see me?

Martha Durand: Oh, well, when I see you, I see nothing but trouble.

Tommy Lucero: Yeah, I'm so bad that I should be forbidden.

Martha Durand: You are not being straight with me!

Tommy Lucero: I will be.

Martha Durand: Oh!

[waves arms & stomps feet]

Martha Durand: God damn it! I just... damn it!

[stomps feet again]

Martha Durand: Oh!

Tommy Lucero: Wow...

Tommy Lucero: So... Am I gonna see you again?

Martha Durand: That all depends on you.

Tommy Lucero: Oh, Marty, what's going on?

Martha Durand: Nothing. I'll see myself in.

Tommy Lucero: Oh, come on. Come on! Marty, what's wrong with you? Come on!

Martha Durand: I don't know who you think you are,coming into people's lives and making them fall in love with you like it's some kind of big, sick game.

Tommy Lucero: What are you talking about?

Martha Durand: Oh, you know exactly what I am talking about.