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Vada: I used to like to play with my Ken and Barbie dolls. Ken was my favorite. Then one Christmas I got them a camper and all they wanted to do was hang out in it by themselves. So I wasn't too upset when they took that wrong turn and went over the cliff.
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[first lines]
Vada Sultenfuss: I was born jaundiced. Once I sat on a toilet seat at a truck stop and caught hemorrhoids. And I've learned to live with this chicken bone that's been lodged in my throat for the past three years. So I knew Dad would be devastated when he learned of my latest affliction.
[to Harry]
Vada Sultenfuss: Dad, I don't want to upset you, but my left breast is developing at a significantly faster rate than my right. It can only mean one thing: cancer. I'm dying.
Harry: [making a sandwich] Okay, sweetie, hand me the mayonnaise out of the fridge.
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Vada: Pacifist!
Thomas J. Sennett: Am not!
Vada: Bedwetter!
Thomas J. Sennett: I stopped that!
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Vada: Why do you think people want to get married?
Thomas J. Sennett: When you get older, you just have to.
Vada: I'm gonna marry Mr. Bixler.
Thomas J. Sennett: You can't marry a teacher, it's against the law.
Vada: It is not.
Thomas J. Sennett: Yes, it is 'cuz then he'll give you all A's and it won't be fair.
Vada: Not true.
Vada: Have you ever kissed anyone?
Thomas J. Sennett: Like they do on TV?
Vada: Hm-mm.
Thomas J. Sennett: No.
Vada: Well maybe we should, just to see what's the big deal.
-
Shelly: She won't come out. It's been a whole day. You have to do something, Harry.
Harry: The funeral's starting.
Shelly: Open your eyes, she's eleven years old! Her only friend in the world is dead.
Harry: I know that, but what do you want from me?
Shelly: Stop hiding, Harry! You run, Harry. When I first came here, the idea of working with dead people didn't exactly thrill me. When I saw a family that lived here, I thought, if I'm living without a family, at least I can work with one and maybe, once in a while, be invited in for supper.
Harry: Yeah... and when those suppers are disrupted because there's a car crash, or there's a fire, or a little boy steps on a beehive...
Shelly: I'm not asking you to stop caring for those people. But life isn't just death, Harry. Don't ignore the living, especially your daughter.
-
Vada: Weeping willow with your tears running down, why do you always weep and frown? Is it because he left you one day? is it because he could not stay? On your branches he would swing, do you long for the happiness that day would bring? He found shelter in your shade. You thought his laughter would never fade. Weeping willow, stop your tears. There is something to calm you fears. You think death has ripped you forever apart. But I know he'll always be in your heart.
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Justin: Feel my aura.
Vada Sultenfuss: I don't think I'm allowed to.
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Thomas J. Sennett: Vada?
Vada Sultenfuss: Yeah?
Thomas J. Sennett: Would you think of me?
Vada Sultenfuss: For what?
Thomas J. Sennett: Well, if you don't get to marry Mr. Bixler.
Vada Sultenfuss: I guess.
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Vada: Daddy, how come this coffin's so small?
Harry: They come in all sizes, honey, like shoes.
Vada: Is it for a child?
Harry: Of course not!
Vada: Then for who is it?
Harry: Short people. Very short people.
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Thomas J. Sennett: So, what'd he say was wrong with you?
Vada: This whole medical profession is a crock.
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Shelly DeVoto: This is Phil, Harry, Gramoo, and Vada Sultenfuss.
Danny: Vada Sultenfuss? Tough break.
Vada Sultenfuss: I like my name.
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Shelly: They're dead. All they have are their looks.
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Vada: [Vada is locked in the basement] Let me out of here. Let me out of here.
[blocks ears with her hands]
Vada: There she was just a walking down the street singing Do Wah Diddy Diddy.
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Shelly: The first rule of eye makeup is that you can never wear enough blue eye shadow.
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Vada Sultenfuss: [to Thomas J., after getting her first period] Get outta here! And don't come back for five to seven days!
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Vada: Mrs. Sennett, don't worry, Thomas J. will be all right. My mother will take care of him.
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Thomas J. Sennett: What do you think it's like?
Vada Sultenfuss: What?
Thomas J. Sennett: Heaven.
Vada Sultenfuss: I think... everybody gets their own white horse and all they do is ride them and eat marshmallows all day. And everybody's best friends with everybody else. When you play sports, there's no teams, so nobody gets picked last.
Thomas J. Sennett: But what if you're afraid to ride horses?
Vada Sultenfuss: Doesn't matter 'cause they're not regular horses. They've got wings. And it's no big deal if you fall 'cause you'll just land in a cloud.
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Vada: 'Ode to Ice Cream' by Vada Sultenfuss. I like ice cream a whole lot/It tastes good on days that are hot/On a cone or in a dish/This will be my only wish/Vanilla, chocolate, rocky road/Even with pie, a la mode.
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Vada: [after Vada and Thomas kiss] Say something, it's too quiet.
Thomas J. Sennett: Umm, ummmmm...
Vada: [agitated] Just hurry.
Thomas J. Sennett: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America...
Vada, Thomas J. Sennett: ...And to the republic for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
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Vada: Arthur!
Arthur: Vada!
Vada: I beat Thomas J in Monopoly yesterday.
Arthur: Good for you, baby.
Vada: Once you put the hotels on Boardwalk and Park Place you're a shoe-in for the win.
Arthur: I like to buy off all the railroads.
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Thomas J. Sennett: I'm gonna drive us to Liverpool.
Shelly: Liverpool?
Vada: Big Ringo fan.
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Vada: Where are his glasses? He can't see without his glasses!
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Vada Sultenfuss: My fears and secrets: I'm afraid I killed my mother.
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Shelly: You know, Vada, you have to watch what you eat at the carnival. I remember one summer I went with my two older cousins, and they both ate hot dogs, and the next day they had nephritis.
Vada: Nephritis is a kidney disease, you don't get it from eating hot dogs.
Shelly: Well I'm no doctor, all I know is the next morning when they woke up, they had real high temperatures and their faces got really fat.
-
Shelly: You know, Vada... You shuldn't let those girls upset you.
Vada: I'm not upset. I will never play with those girls.
[staring at Thomas J]
Vada: I only surround myself with people who I find intellectually stimulating.
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Ray: [reciting his poem] "I sang a song for you to hear. I painted a picture for you to see. I picked a rose for you to smell. I planted grass for you to touch. But you did not hear my song. You did not see my picture. You did not smell my rose and you did not touch my grass."
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[last lines]
Vada: [voiceover] Things are much better now. I finally swallowed that chicken bone, Judy and I will in the same homeroom and the Republican Party just re-nominated Mr. Nixon.
-
Vada Sultenfuss: I'm running away.
Thomas J. Sennett: Where are you running to?
Vada Sultenfuss: California. I'm going to Hollywood to live with the Brady Bunch.
Thomas J. Sennett: I want to live with them, too.
Vada Sultenfuss: No, you can't. They have enough kids. You'll have to live with the Partridge Family.
My Girl Quotes
Extended Reading
