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Nasser: I thought you two were getting married.
Omar: Yes, any day now.
Tania: I'd rather drink my own urine.
Omar: I hear it can be quite tasty with a slice of lemon.
-
Papa: You must be getting married. Why else would you be dressed like an undertaker on holiday?
Omar: Going to Uncle's house, Papa. He's given me a car.
Papa: What? The brakes must be faulty. Tell me one thing because there's something I don't understand, though it must be my fault. How is it that scrubbing cars can make a son of mine look so ecstatic?
Omar: It gets me out of the house.
Papa: Don't get too involved with that crook. You've got to study. We are under siege by the white man. For us education is power.
[Omar shakes his head at his father]
Papa: Don't let me down.
-
Johnny: [driving Cherry and Salim home, Omar stops by a bunch of street kids, one of whom is Johnny. Omar gets out of the car to talk to Johnny]
[indicating his friends]
Johnny: Like me friends?
Omar: Ring us then.
Johnny: I will.
[indicates the car where Cherry is getting very angry]
Johnny: Leave 'em there. We can do something. Now. Just us.
-
Omar: I'm being promoted. To Uncle's laundrette.
Papa: [throwing a pair of socks to Omar] Illustrate your washing methods!
-
Johnny: [Omar is showing Johnny round the laundrette] I'm dead impressed by all this.
Omar: You were the one at school. The one I liked.
Johnny: [sarcastically] All the Pakis liked me.
-
Nasser: [Nasser bursts into the room where Johnny and Omar made love just moments before] What the hell are you doing? Sunbathing?
Omar: Asleep, Uncle. We were shagged out.
-
Salim: I want to talk to Omar about business.
Johnny: I dunno where he is.
Salim: Is it worth waiting?
Johnny: In my experience, it's always worth waiting for Omo.
-
Johnny: Fuck me! What's she doing with that mouse?
-
Nasser: [whilst having sex with his lover] Christ, you move like a liner.
-
Nasser: Yes... But first we must marry Omar off.
[Cut to Omar and Johnny making love in the back room]
-
Johnny: Ain't nothing I can say to make it up to you. There's only things I can do to show you... That I am with you.
-
Nasser: [to Omar] Nothing but a toilet and a youth club. A constant boil on my bum.
-
Papa: [to Omar] Work now till you go back to college. And I'm fixing you up with a job with your uncle.
-
Nasser: [to Omar] In this damn country, which we hate and love, you can get anything you want. It's all spread out and available. That's why I believe in England. Only you need to know how to squeeze the tits of the system.
-
Nasser: [to Omar] Okay, I charge you basic rent. The key you keep.
-
Papa: [on the phone] Oh, one thing more, try to fix him up with a nice girl. I'm not sure his penis is in full working order.
-
Johnny: [to Omar] A laundrette as big as the Ritz. Oh yes.
-
Nasser: What are you doing, boy?
Omar: It will be going into profit any day now. Partly because I hired a bloke of astounding competence and strength of body and mind.
-
Gang Member: Why are you working for these people? Pakis.
Johnny: It's work, that's why.
-
Nasser: Where are those two buggers?
-
Papa: [to Omar] I don't want my son in this underpants cleaning condition.
-
[first lines]
Johnny: We're moving house.
-
[last lines]
Johnny: Don't you be touching me!
-
Omar: What are you going to do with me?
Nasser: What am I going to do with you? Turn you into something damn good.
-
Nasser: [to Omar] On the other hand a little water on the brain might clear your thoughts.
-
Salim: [to Omar] You're one of us now Omar.
-
Nasser: What bloke?
Omar: He's called Johnny.
-
Nasser: [to Johnny] I'm a professional businessman not a professional Pakistani. And there is no question of race in the new enterprise culture.
-
Johnny: Today has been the best day.
Omar: Yeah, almost the best day.
-
Nasser: [to Omar] Bring Tania over here. Marry her. Well, what's wrong with her? When I say marry her, you damn well do it. Be nice to her, pressure off my fucking head. Your penis works doesn't it? Get going!
-
Omar: It took you a while to get onto us.
Salim: Wanted to see what you'd do. How's your Papa? So many books written and read. Politicians sought him out. Bhutto was his close friend. But we're nothing in England without money.
-
Papa: This damn country has done us in. That's why I'm like this. We should be there. Home.
Nasser: But that country's been sodomised by religion. It's beginning to interfere with the making of money. Compared with everywhere... it's a little heaven, here.
-
Johnny: We'll just have to do a job to get the money.
Omar: I don't want you going back to all that!
Johnny: Just to get us through, Omo. We're going to go on. You want that, don't you?
Omar: Yeah. I want you.
-
Omar: You know who I saw today? Johnny. Johnny!
Papa: The boy who came here dressed as a fascist with a quarter-inch of hair?
Omar: He was a friend once, for years.
Papa: There were times when he didn't deserve your admiration so much.
Omar: Christ, I've known him since I was five!
Papa: He went too far.
-
Omar: Where did you go? You just disappeared.
Johnny: Drinking, I went. With my old mates. It ain't illegal.
Omar: Of course it is, laundrettes are a big commitment. Why aren't you at work?
Johnny: It'll be closing time soon. You'll be locking the place up, and coming to bed.
Omar: No, it never closes. One of us has got to be there. That way, we begin to make money.
Johnny: You're getting greedy.
Omar: I want big money. I'm not going to be beat down by this country.
-
Salim: There's some things between them I'm looking into.
-
Tania: I'm going. You can come.
Johnny: No good jobs like this around.
Tania: Omar just runs you around everywhere, like a servant.
Johnny: I'll stay here with my friend and fight it out.
Tania: My family, Salim and all... will swallow you up like a little kebab.
Johnny: I couldn't leave him. Not now. Don't ask me to. You ever touched him?
-
Nasser: I can't go back. Religion is sodomizing the country. It's getting in the way of making money.
-
Omar: When we were in school, you and your friends were kicking me around the place. And what are you doing now? Washing my floor and that's how I like it.
My Beautiful Laundrette Quotes
Extended Reading
