Movie 43 Quotes

Clare (segment "Homeschooled"): [segment "Homeschooling"] High School is more than just classes and homework.

Robert: Absolutely. There's the alienation, the loneliness.

Samantha (segment "Homeschooled"): It should be the unhappiest time in a boy's life.

Robert: That's why we try to make sure that Kevin doesn't miss out on any of those essential, emotionally scaring experiences that he'd get a regular school.

Veronica: [segment "Veronica"] Neil.

Neil: Veronica.

Veronica: Neil. You look pale.

Neil: You look pregnant.

Veronica: You look like you slept in a soup kitchen urinal.

Neil: You look like you bathe in a dumpster behind the abortion clinic.

Veronica: You look like the kid who got cancer for Christmas.

Neil: You look like the slutty one on The Golden Girls.

Veronica: Dorothy?

Neil: Blanche.

Veronica: You take that back, you son of a bitch! You take it back! Take that back!

Neil: I wanna taste you. I wanna lick you until you weep.

Neil: [segment "Veronica"] How's your acid reflux?

Veronica: How's your HPV?

Neil: It's your HPV Veronica, I'm just carrying it.

Veronica: Let's not have another chicken or the egg debate, Neil.

Neil: No, lets. Chicken.

Veronica: Egg.

Neil: Chicken.

Veronica: Egg.

Neil: Chicken.

Veronica: Egg.

Neil: Chicken.

Veronica: Egg.

Neil: Chicken.

Veronica: Egg.

Neil: Chicken.

Veronica: Egg!

Neil: Your flesh, slick with cocoa butter, it haunts me.

Veronica: How's Veronica?

Neil: Veronica's fine, Veronica.

Veronica: I can't believe you named your dog Veronica.

Neil: I can't believe you sucked off that hobo for magic beans!

Veronica: He was a wizard, Neil!

Neil: Shh! I wanna be on you, in you. I wanna be allllllllllllll over your chin. Do you still like crème brûlée?

Veronica: Do you still like fingers in your butt hole?

Neil: You know the answer is yes.

Arlene: [segment "iBabe"] Teenage boys are physically attracted to naked women.

Robert: Our research doesn't support that, sir.

Nathan: [segment "Middleschool Date"] Hello, 9-1-1? Yeah, my friend is bleeding out of her vagina!

Dad (segment "Middleschool Date"): Nathan, Nathan, listen.

Nathan: Why are you laughing at me?

Fake Robin: [segment "Superhero Speed Dating"] Wait, let me get this straight. So you knew all the way back then? You knew that she was a dude?

Fake Batman: Whole time.

Fake Robin: Why did you make me kiss her? Him. It. This.

Fake Batman: I don't know. I guess I woke up this morning with a little case of the fuckarounds.

Brian: [segment "Happy Birthday"] You fucked my girlfriend, dude!

Pete: One time... for a week.

Brian: What?

Pete: But, I want to make it up to you.

Brian: Can I - fuck your girlfriend?

Pete: Yes. But, she broke up with me when she found out I slept with your girlfriend.

Fake Supergirl: [segment "Superhero Speed Dating"] Hi! Sorry, sorry I'm late. There was a line in the bathroom. Hi, I'm Supergirl.

Fake Robin: My name...

Fake Batman: [under the table speaking on an earpiece feeding to Robin's ear] I'm Robin.

Fake Robin: [to Supergirl] ... Hi, I'm Robin.

Fake Batman: [to Robin] Um, so where are you from?

Fake Robin: So where are you from?

Fake Supergirl: I, um, Krypton.

Fake Robin: Oh, Krypton. Where? That's, that's, uh...

Fake Batman: Oh shit.

Fake Robin: Oh shit.

Fake Batman: Dude, I can see her snatch.

Fake Robin: Dude I can s... uh...

Fake Batman: Oh my god, I can't believe the size of this thing. It's like a giant fucking cornfield, it's enormous down here. It's crazy, look at that, I feel like at any moment Shoeless Joe Jackson can walk out of that and I can play catch with him.

Fake Robin: Krypton, like the... I hear it's really nice. I have never been...

Fake Supergirl: You didn't hear that the sun supernova'd and destroyed our entire race?

Fake Batman: I'd wash dishes with it...

Fake Robin: Did it? I did not...

Fake Batman: It's a huge, bushy catastrophe down here. I feel like Sean Penn should do a benefit for this thing.

[Supergirl's expression changes]

Fake Robin: What? Oh, no. You can hear him, can't you...

Fake Supergirl: Yeah, I can hear him! I can also see Batman underneath the table.

Fake Robin: 'Cause of the X-ray vision, of course.

Fake Supergirl: No, I can just see him. It's a café table. I mean, it's really obvious.

Fake Batman: [pops head from under the table, to Supergirl] Hi.

Fake Supergirl: Hi.

[storms off]

Fake Robin: I'm so sorry about your family dying.

Fake Batman: Oh, man, that took me back to the 70s, huh?

Fake Robin: [segment "Superhero Speed Dating"] What the hell are you doing here, Batman? You're gonna ruin this!

Fake Batman: Calm down! Hey, look, I read on Twitter this super-villain's gonna bomb this loser meet-and-greet so I'm here to save the day - like I do - all the time. I mean, you know, it's my thing. I'm the Batman!

Fake Robin: Yeah, bologna. You're here to ruin my chances with women. Like you do all the time.

Fake Batman: No way, brother, no way. I'm in support of this. One more speed date, okay, then we got to find that bomb.

Arlene: [segment "iBabe"] Look, at the very least we need to put a warning sticker on the box.

Boss: Other MP3 players don't have a warning not to have sex with it, right? A bag of potato chips doesn't have a warning, "Please don't fuck these potato chips!" It's like crazy here.

Robert: None of us could have seen this one comin'.

Arlene: I did!

Boss: Take it easy Erin Brockovich.

Baxter: [segment "The Thread"] Did you just try to hit me through your computer screen?

Calvin: Yeah, I did. Why don't you come in here so I can hit you like a real man, pussy.

Calvin: [segment "The Thread"] We need to April Fools prank him.

JJ: Yeah!

Calvin: Hit him wear it hurts.

JJ: Right square in his balls.

Calvin: No, we got to do something better. We steal his computer and load it full of viruses.

JJ: Where do we get viruses?

Calvin: Ah, duh! Porn sites. Why do you think my computer is so slow? It's full of 'em!

Calvin: [segment "The Thread"] This video is so illegal it has been banned by every country in the world.

JJ: Including Amsterdam.

Calvin: Where you can slap a cop in the face with your penis and they'd say, "Danke".

Baxter: Amsterdam is not a country.

Calvin: Amsterdam's not a country?

JJ: Since when?

Calvin: [segment "The Thread"] It can make you pull off your own dick!

Baxter: Okay, why would you want to watch it if it would make you pull off your own dick?

Calvin: Because - if you can watch it all the way through, from beginning to end, you're rewarded beyond your wildest dreams - with money and sex and women.

JJ: It's like that movie, "The Ring" but with a good ending.

Calvin: Yeah, and boobs.

JJ: Lots of boobs.

Baxter: So, what's this movie called?

Calvin: Eh, "Movie..."

JJ: "43".

Calvin: "Movie 43".

JJ: "Movie 43".

Fake Robin: [segment "Superhero Speed Dating"] I thought you were dating superman?

Fake Lois Lane (segment "Super Hero Speed Dating"): No, no. We broke up about six months ago.

Fake Robin: Oh, I didn't know that.

Fake Lois Lane (segment "Super Hero Speed Dating"): He's been stalking me ever since.

Fake Robin: Really?

Fake Lois Lane (segment "Super Hero Speed Dating"): Last night, I look out my bedroom window and there he is just floating there, just stroking that nasty little curl. Masturbating! He leaves a wad all over my window. He broke the window! His jizz is like a shotgun blast. You know that shiny stuff in his hair? It's not hair gel.

Vanessa (segment "The Proposition"): [segment "The Proposition"] Are you not attracted to me any more?

Jason (segment "The Proposition"): Of course, I'm attracted to you...

Vanessa (segment "The Proposition"): So, will you? Poop on me?

Veronica: [segment "Veronica"] Neil.

Neil: Veronica.

Veronica: Neil.

Neil: Veronica.

Veronica: I want to get over you.

Neil: I want to give you a hickey on your vagina.

Veronica: You already have, Neil. You already have. I'll see you in church.

Fake Batman: [segment "Superhero Speed Dating"] You're not going to do it on your own. Pop that in your ear.

Fake Robin: What's that?

Fake Batman: What I'm gonna do is get underneath the table, hide down there, and feed you lines to help bag this next gal.

Fake Robin: Like Cyrano d'Bergerac.

Fake Batman: I don't know what that is. It's more like "Roxanne".

Fake Wonder Woman (segment "Super Hero Speed Dating"): [segment "Superhero Speed Dating"] Why didn't you call me? You said that you were gonna call me.

Fake Batman: What a minute, did I not? I know I - I dialed the number. Did I not hit send?

Fake Wonder Woman (segment "Super Hero Speed Dating"): You said that you were going to stick by me no matter what happened. And then, you're little Bat condom breaks and then you just disappear. Do you know what it's like going to Planned Parenthood, by yourself, when you're Wonder Woman?

Fake Robin: [segment "Superhero Speed Dating"] How'd you know that she was a fake?

Fake Batman: A bush that size only good for one thing and that one thang is hidin' a wang. You know what I'm sayin'?

Brian: [segment "iBabe"] The iBabe has an advanced 3.2 gigahertz processor. We left an opening for a vent and then we placed a highly efficient, super powerful, micro fan in the opening.

Boss: And?

Robert: The vent is in her, um...

Brian: Lower quadrant.

Robert: Vagi-port.

Arlene: Vagina.

Brian: Vagi-port

Arlene: The vent is in the vagina.

Robert: A certain percent of our younger demographic are sticking there - you know what - in the vent.

Boss: No. I don't know what.

Arlene: Kids are sticking their penises in the vent. The fan then mangles their penises.

Boss: Disgusting.

Robert: Sir, the iBabe is a...

Boss: High Fidelity music player.

Arlene: Yes. It also looks and feels exactly like a naked woman.

Pete: [segment: Happy Birthday] One, two, three - surprise! I know. Right, buddy? Happy Birthday.

Brian: You kidnapped an Irish midget.

Pete: No! I caught you a leprechaun.

Emily (segment "Truth or Dare"): [segment "Truth or Dare"] Truth or dare?

Donald (segment "Truth or Dare"): Truth?

Emily (segment "Truth or Dare"): I thought you'd say that. I am going to push the limits here just a little bit. Are you circumcised?

Donald (segment "Truth or Dare"): Am I circumcised? That's personal. circumcision has never really taken off, to be honest, from where I'm from. It's not - you know what I mean - It's not - It's not the vogue. Um, I tend to associate with Jewish people and, you know, we don't have many Jewish people in Europe - anymore - because of the - trouble. So, uh, no.

Emily (segment "Truth or Dare"): Oh?

Donald (segment "Truth or Dare"): If you would need me to get circumcised, I'm sure I could.

Baxter: [segment "The Thread"] Don't let him pull his own dick off.

Mrs. Cutler: Why would he pull his own dick off?

Sitara: [segment "The Thread"] I need to be out slaughtering.

Baxter: No! You're carrying my seed. You must stay here where it's safe. Where I could protect you.

Baxter: [segment "The Thread"] Why is my computer so slow? Why is there porn on my computer?

JJ: April Fools.

White Guy 1 (segment: Victory's Glory): [segment: Victory's Glory] Well, well, well. Are you negroes gonna play basketball or what?

White Guy 2 (segment: Victory's Glory): Yeah! You negroes. What's the matter? You realize you ain't belong in a white man's game. You negroes.

White Guy 3 (segment: Victory's Glory): That's right. This isn't a game for negroes. It's a game for good, honest white people. Not for negroes. You understand? Negroes!

White Guy 1 (segment: Victory's Glory), White Guy 2 (segment: Victory's Glory), White Guy 3 (segment: Victory's Glory): White Knights! White Knights! White Knights! White! White! White!