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George: You like her, don't ya?
Simone: Of course I like her.
George: Yeah, but you like her in that special way. In the songs.
Simone: What songs?
George: Well, I've sold myself for a couple of dykes.
Simone: She needs me George.
George: And you needed me to get her.
Simone: Haven't you ever needed someone?
George: All the time.
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Thomas: [shows George a plate of plastic spaghetti] What do you think?
George: Do you melt it down and eat it?
Thomas: No. They're ornamental.
George: Ornamental spaghetti.
Thomas: Yeah. Could go a bomb.
George: Where'd you get them?
Thomas: Contacts, George. You can't find plastic spaghetti just anywhere.
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George: They fall in love with you? Well do they?
Simone: Sometimes they fall for what they think I am.
George: And what do they think you are?
Simone: What you think. A black whore.
George: Did I say that?
Simone: What do you think, then?
George: Well, you ain't no night nurse.
Simone: No, I ain't no night nurse.
George: Well, let's say you're a lady.
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Simone: Haven't you someone to rush to?
George: You know I haven't.
Simone: Everyone should have.
George: Well, *you* haven't.
Simone: I'm different.
George: How? How are you different?
Simone: I'm the girl they rush home from.
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Simone: You look better in the daytime.
George: Yeah and so do you. Where do you wanna go?
Simone: Down here.
George: You wanna walk?
Simone: Yes, it's good for you.
George: Bit early, innit?
Simone: I know, but the early bird catches the worm.
George: Clever little bastard...
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Thomas: Anyway, listen: what about this tall, thin, black story?
George: Ah... well, we got it wrong, the fella did... actually, she's a nun in disguise.
Thomas: What kind of a nun?
George: A Sister of Mercy. Y'know, those that wear the big white bonnets.
Thomas: Aye, with the big thingummys on it?
George: Yeah.
Thomas: You didn't wear this the whole time, though?
George: Well, she can't, can she, she's on the game, it'd look a bit funny, wouldn't it, and spoil the point of the exercise.
Thomas: How?
George: She wouldn't be in disguise then, would she?
Thomas: [on reflection] Well, that's nuns for ye.
-
Thomas: You're not joking, are ye?
George: When did I ever joke?
Thomas: You used to tell that one about the randy gorilla.
George: Yer, well no-one ever laughed, did they?
Thomas: It's the way you tell 'em...
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[repeated line]
George: Why am I doing this?
-
[first lines]
Jeannie: [at her front door, to George] Yeah? Do you want mum?
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George: [pointing to himself and his rabbit] He'll have a lettuce and I'll have a Bloody Mary.
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George: [about Simone] She's a woman of substance. A lady.
Thomas: I thought you said she was a tart. A tall thin black tart.
George: Maybe, but she's still a fucking lady.
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George: Get out! Get fucking out! Now tell me I'm fired.
Simone: Alright, you're fired.
George: Lovely! I'm fired and you're street walkin'!
-
George: She was trapped. From the first time he met her. She was trapped. Like a bird in a cage. But he couldn't see it. He liked her, but he was the type who couldn't see what was in front of his face. And there she was, in pain. You can get soppy about someone, well, you can't see these things, and he was, soppy sod. She had faith in him. She believed in him. And he had a lot of hopes for her. And there was love. Yeah. She was in love alright. She really was. But not with him. And that's the story.
-
George: Told ya I was cheap, didn't I?
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Thomas: You fancy a fiberglass fruit flan? Or a polystyrene tutti frutti? Fancy a cup of tea?
George: What's it made of?
Thomas: Leaves!
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Hotel Waiter: A Bloody Mary is it, sir?
George: No, I'd like a pot of tea, please.
Hotel Waiter: Earl Gray or Lapsang Souchong?
George: No, tea.
-
George: You'd have done well in fucking Auschwitz, you dirty old git
-
[George has come to see his teenage daughter after being in prison for 7 years. His ex-wife comes to the door and pulls his daughter away, angrily argues with him and slams the door in his face]
George: YOU COW! Only came to say hello!
[he throws a dustbin at the front door]
George: HELLO!
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Mortwell: A woman says to her husband, "I'm leaving you." He says, "Oh please, don't leave me. I'll buy you a mink coat." She says, "I don't want one. I'm leaving you." He says, "Please don't leave me. I'll buy you a diamond necklace." She says, "I don't want one." He says, "I'll buy you a villa in the south of France." She says, "I don't want one." He says, "Well, what do you want?" She says, "I want a divorce." He says, "I wasn't thinking of spending that kind of money."
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Thomas: You can never tell with women, George. They're different. They wear skirts and like to powder their noses and when they go to heaven they get wings.
George: Like angels?
Thomas: Aye, like angels.
George: Yeah, but angels are men, Thomas.
Thomas: Men?
George: Yeah.
Thomas: No one told me that.
George: lt's true, angels are men.
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Simone: So where did they get you from?
George: Under a cabbage leaf.
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Simone: You're meant to be my date, not my minicab driver.
George: What does your date do?
Simone: He looks after me you dingbat.
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George: What do you expect? l'm not used to working in piss holes like this!
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Simone: You're as much cover as a pair of fishnet tights. l may as well be wearing a sign around my neck. All you're missing is the gold medallion.
-
George: See, l'm cheap. l can't help it. God made me that way.
Simone: Being cheap is one thing. Looking cheap is another. That really takes talent.
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George: Some woman are whores. Some whores are black. You take what you are given.
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George: He took his time. What, did he fall asleep half way through? Well you never know with these darkies do you?
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George: So what about this job then?
Thomas: Well its just driving, you know.
George: Oh, driving who?
Thomas: A tall thin black tart. l could write a book about it.
George: Too many t's.
-
George: What do you wanna wear men's clothes for?
Simone: l don't, its for you
-
Simone: You're a good man, Mr George.
George: How can ya tell?
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Cathy: l don't mean to be rude, l like you.
George: Oh, l'm glad.
Cathy: Do you like me?
George: l don't know you do l?
Cathy: She likes me. She really likes me.
-
Cathy: You don't know anything do you?
George: No, no l don't know anything.
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George: l like the seaside; l've always liked the seaside. Do you like the seaside?
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Mortwell: Look at this tart. What you do it for, George? l mean look at her.
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Mortwell: lt's all right. l'm not going to hurt ya. Your pimp will do that for me.
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George: Fucking cow! You fucking cow! You would have done it, wouldn't ya? You would have done it! l'm just another fucking bugger to you
Mona Lisa Quotes
Extended Reading
