Mind Your Language Quotes

Miss Courtney: [asking Mr. Brown questions from a sheet] Sex?

Jeremy Brown: Occasionally.

Jeremy Brown: How about a toast for Ali and Su-Lee?

Giovanni Capello: No, sorry, we have no toast, only biscuits.

Jeremy Brown: No, I mean a toast for Ali and Su-Lee.

Giovanni Capello: We have no toast for them, either!

Jeremy Brown: Now, although most sports are international, there are some sports that are native to different countries. For example, the national sport of France is...

Danielle Favre: Football!

Jeremy Brown: Correct! And the national sport for Italy is...

Giovanni Capello: Girls!

Jeremy Brown: That's not a sport!

Giovanni Capello: Maybe not, but it's more popular than football!

Ranjeet Singh: If at first, you are not succeeding, try try!

Jeremy Brown: [corrects Ranjeet] Again.

Ranjeet Singh: If at first, you are...

Police Sergeant: What is your name?

Juan Cervantes: Por favor?

Police Sergeant: How do you spell that?

Jeremy Brown: That's not his name!

Police Sergeant: Oh, giving me a fake name, are we?

Juan Cervantes: Por favor?

Police Sergeant: I'll come back to you, Mr. Por Favor, or whatever you name is!

Ali Nadim: Oh dearie me!

Jeremy Brown: You can say that again!

Ali Nadim: Oh dearie me!

Miss Courtney: [points to a book with a pencil] What is this?

Ranjeet Singh: Pencil!

Miss Courtney: Can anybody tell me who said "To Be or Not To Be"?

Chung Su-Lee: Chairman Mao!

Miss Courtney: This may come as a shock to you, but there are people who've written things besides Chairman Mao.

Chung Su-Lee: Chairman Mao lite evelything!

Miss Courtney: Well, he certainly didn't lite... *write* "To Be or Not To Be"!

Jeremy Brown: Su-Lee, spell "Democracy"

Chung Su-Lee: C-H-I-N-A.

Jeremy Brown: And I suppose if I asked you to spell "Dictatorship", you would have spelt "England"?

Chung Su-Lee: Or "America"!

Ingrid Svenson: I very much like teacher.

Danielle Favre: You will not make the eyes on Mr. Brown!

Ingrid Svenson: If I want to, I will!

Danielle Favre: Mr. Brown does not care for the blonde ladies!

Ingrid Svenson: Swedish women are the beautifulest!

Danielle Favre: [scoffs] The problem with Swedish women is that are they too big in the bosom!

Ingrid Svenson: The French are too big in the mouth!

[repeated line]

Ali Nadim: Jolly good!

Jeremy Brown: [Mr Brown is talking to the class about everyday things they should know how to say and do] Ali, where would you go to get some aspirin?

Ali Nadim: The Tandoori Takeaway.

Jeremy Brown: What?

Ali Nadim: My jolly good friend who works there always has plenty aspirin.

Jeremy Brown: No, where would you *buy* aspirin?

Ali Nadim: Why would I be buying aspirin, when I can get it from my jolly good friend for free?

Jeremy Brown: All right, where would you go if the Tandoori Takeaway was closed?

Ali Nadim: Oh, blimey! The Taj Mahal Curryhouse

Jamila Ranjha: White Chemist!

Jeremy Brown: [Ali leaves his seat and begins to walk out of the classroom] Where are you going?

Ali Nadim: To buy aspirin.

Jeremy Brown: I thought you said you didn't have a headache?

Ali Nadim: Oh blimey! I do now!

[repeated line]

Juan Cervantes: Por favor

[repeated line]

Taro Nagazumi: Aso!

Jeremy Brown: Take Danielle, for instance.

Giovanni Capello: I would love to take Danielle!

Miss Courtney: Can anyone tell me what we call a pig after it has been killed?

Ali Nadim: Yes please, it is dead pig.