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Scanlon: Katie Candy Cane, is she a stripper?
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David Ghantt: You farted right into my butt hole. It's like a fart transplant.
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David Ghantt: I'm starting to feel like a corn dog at a hot dog party, and it ain't flattering, I'll tell you that.
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David Ghantt: [coughing on a bite of churro] No, that's alright, I'm just choking on my cholo.
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David Ghantt: [after David's gun discharges in the back of his waistband] It feels like it just grazed my biscuits, right there in betwixt 'em.
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Jandice: A couple years back, I was at a youth praise concert at church, and I saw the most handsome man that I had ever seen in the world. He was looking right at me. We went on a date, and then we fell very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very deeply in love. And then he died. Snake bite. At his funeral, I was very, very distraught. I couldn't keep myself together. And I saw this... other man. A distant cousin of the deceased. He was a pallbearer, and he was kinda strugglin' to hold up his end of the casket.
David Ghantt: I had a hard time liftin' it up.
Jandice: In any case, we got to talkin' afterwards, and I thought, well, that one's dead, this one's alive. I'll take the live one. Now, here we are, two years later.
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David Ghantt: [voice-over] Steve was a petty thief, mostly known for stealing tiny wheelchairs from pediatric hospitals.
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David Ghantt: [puzzled by the blood on Kelly's breast] Why isn't it milk?
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Steve: What should I call you, sir?
Steve: Nothing. You don't ever need to see me or know my name. You can refer to me as Geppetto.
David Ghantt: Geppetto?
Steve: Yeah, Geppetto. As in Pinnochio. As in, I pull the strings.
David Ghantt: I think he means Stromboli.
Steve: What did you call me?
David Ghantt: Nothin'. I just think you mean Stromboli. Geppetto was just a woodcarver. Stromboli was the puppeteer.
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Kelly: We could hop on over to Brazil. You ever been to Rio?
David Ghantt: I've never even been to the airport but about twice in my life.
Kelly: Oh, it's a real magical place.
David Ghantt: Yeah. All those planes landin' and takin' off and such.
Kelly: No, Rio.
David Ghantt: Oh, Rio, yeah, yeah.
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Kelly: Okay, well, I gotta run.
[seductively]
Kelly: I gotta go wash my pantyhouse... with my mouth.
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David Ghantt: I look like if Jesus and a cat had a baby.
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Kelly: I guess this is hasta la muerte.
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David Ghantt: One-four-three, Kelly Campbell.
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Steve: They gotta learn that presents don't just show up under a Christmas tree. I'd like to see these turkeys go out and earn seventeen million dollars. They wouldn't even know where to begin.
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Mike McKinney: So. Who do y'all want me to kill?
Steve: Whoa, ho, Mike! We'll talk about it later. Not now. Not in front of...
[he nods toward his young sons]
Mike McKinney: [whispers] Oh, I see... is it one of them?
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Scanlon: [holding up a picture of David Ghantt] Look at him. He looks like Kenny Rogers and Kenny Loggins had a lovechild... and then Kenny G, he just showed up to the birthday party, started playin' the flute, and messed this boy up.
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Mike McKinney: This gun has secrets... don't it?
[whispering to the gun]
Mike McKinney: Don't you?
[leaning in to listen]
Mike McKinney: I don't speak Spanish.
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Kelly: Look, I know you're just two good men doin' a difficult job.
[Agent Scanlon scowls]
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David Ghantt: I'm starting to feel like a corndog at a hotdog party.
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Jandice: [Kelly and Jandice fight. Kelly attacks her with a tube of feminine cream] No, not the Vagaway! They don't make it anymore!
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Mike McKinney: I got another job.
David Ghantt: No kiddin', what are you doin'?
Mike McKinney: Tax preparation.
David Ghantt: Oh, are ya? That's nice.
Mike McKinney: Naw, I'm just foolin'. It's gonna be more murder.
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Michelle Chambers: Welcome to Neptune's Conch.
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Plewe: It's a booger whistle.
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Runny: Please, don't shoot. I've got kids.
David Ghantt: Yeah? Do your kids know you're a lying, cheating sack of filth?
Runny: Well... I just haven't found the right moment to tell 'em.
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David Ghantt: I'm right here, sugar bush. Don't worry about a thing.
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David Ghantt: Brace your boobies.
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David Ghantt: Sometimes the only way out... is through.
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David Ghantt: I'd rob a funeral home for you.
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David Ghantt: No, that's alright, I'm just choking on my cholo.
Masterminds Quotes
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Ephraim 2022-04-23 07:03:10
The theme and title of the movie were selected on the plane, and they were adapted from real events. The whole thing is okay. Maybe stupid people have stupid blessings, and the ending is not bad. The killer's IQ is also comparable to the male lead, hehe
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Jayne 2022-04-21 09:02:50
It turned out to be a true story
