Mannequin Quotes

Roxie Shield: I think you should see a professional.

Jonathan Switcher: A professional? What do you mean, a hooker?

Roxie Shield: No, I mean a psychiatrist.

Jonathan Switcher: I can't afford a psychiatrist.

Roxie Shield: Then call one of those shrinks on the radio.

Jonathan Switcher: A radio shrink? They're only good for people with problems that fit between the commercials.

Roxie Shield: Good night, Jonathan.

Jonathan Switcher: [coming out of the elevator] Easy, Felix! I don't think she's armed!

Felix: You can fool Rambo, but it won't work with me, Switcher! My brain is quicker than...

[before he can finish his sentence, the elevator doors close on him]

[Jonathan has just punched out Felix, sending him to the floor]

Jonathan Switcher: [seeing Emmy behind Felix, surprised] How did you do that?

Ema 'Emmy' Hesire: I was standing right behind him, he didn't see me.

Jonathan Switcher: Teach him to mess with a man and his mannequin.

[Felix just caught Jonathan making love to Emmy as she assumes mannequin form]

Felix: [to Jonathan] Switcher, you are one... sick... puppy!

Jonathan Switcher: No, this is how I get my inspiration. I create. And I can tell by looking at you, you're not the artistic type.

Felix: [cracks his fingers] You know, Mr. Richards told me to keep an eye on you. But I think I'm gonna handle things my own way.

Roxie Shield: [seeing Jonathan and Emmy leaving] He's out of his mind! B.J. was right. When I get that dummy, I'm gonna just tear her hair out!

Armand: Roxie! You know what you need to do right now? You need to put him and this whole nasty affair out of your mind. Now, how is the best way to do that, huh? By having a night of distastable sex with someone you care absolutely nothing about! And proudly, I would like to be that person.

Roxie Shield: Fine, let's just go to your place.

Armand: [suddenly surprised] Really?

Roxie Shield: Drive fast before I have second thoughts!

Armand: Armand is the wind!

[Jonathan is explaining to Roxie about the first time Emmy came to life]

Roxie Shield: You could have decided to tell me that you wanted to stand me up. Instead, you come here to me lying with this ridiculous story!

Jonathan Switcher: No, I'm not lying, I'm insane.

Roxie Shield: Armand, let's just get out of here.

[Hollywood just caught Jonathan kissing Emmy as she assumes mannequin form]

Hollywood Montrose: At least, she'll never tell you that your hips are too fat.

[Roxie just caught Jonathan making love to Emmy as she assumes mannequin form]

Roxie Shield: [to herself] I really should have listened when he asked me for help.

Armand: When you making love to him, did you ever scream 'Don't stop, Woody!'?

[Roxie pushes Armand down the escalator]

Roxie Shield: [hearing something break, alarmed] Oh, my camera!

Mannequin Factory Boss: You know, you could get the dummy of the week award, Switcher.

Jonathan Switcher: She turned out pretty good, didn't she?

Mannequin Factory Boss: I wasn't talking about her.

Jonathan Switcher: [serious] This job at Illustra is destroying your sense of humor. You gotta quit.

Roxie Shield: I'm not the one who can't deal with reality.

Jonathan Switcher: Reality is very disappointing.

Claire Timkin: I don't know how we're going to make this store great again.

Jonathan Switcher: Looks fine to me. What time do we open?

Claire Timkin: [sighs sadly] We are open.

Jonathan Switcher: Oh... Well, I'm sure things will pick up by lunch.

Felix: Just what is your assignment here tonight, boy?

Jonathan Switcher: I'm helping Hollywood with the window.

Felix: Oh, the little Mary has an assistant now? Where do you people come from?

Jonathan Switcher: Ohio.

Felix: [surprised] Ohio? You mean they got 'em in Ohio?

Hollywood Montrose: [to Jonathan] Don't let Felix get to you. He just has a bad case of Miami Vice.

Jonathan Switcher: Listen, I gotta go, okay? I promised my girlfriend I was gonna take her out tonight.

Jonathan Switcher: Hollywood, I don't know about men's thighs! They look fine to me, they really do!

Hollywood Montrose: Thank you. Albert called me 'cellulite city'. Maybe he's right. Maybe I should have my hips lifted.

Ema 'Emmy' Hesire: Tonight, we're gonna do something different and special. Something that this store has never seen before. I just wish you didn't look so worried.

Jonathan Switcher: That's easy for you to say. You're a mannequin, you'll always have work. Me, I'm gonna wind up in the nuthouse after this. I wonder if insanity is covered in the employee health plan?

Claire Timkin: Good news, Jonathan. We've not only decided to keep you on, but I'm promoting you to visual merchandiser.

Jonathan Switcher: [surprised] You're kidding! That's great! What is it?

Claire Timkin: Just keep doing what you did last night and you'll be fine.

Jonathan Switcher: Mrs. Timkin, I'm not sure I can do it again. Last night might have been a one-time inspiration.

Claire Timkin: [encouraging] Oh Jonathan, don't doubt yourself. Go with it. Feel it. You're doing the job you were meant to do.

Mr. Richards: Well, you must lead a charmed life. It was all I could do to save your skin in there. No thanks are necessary, Switcher!

Jonathan Switcher: Just when I think you're real, you vanished. What's with you? What's with me?

Ema 'Emmy' Hesire: Didn't I tell you? You're the only one who can see me like this.

Jonathan Switcher: It's not exactly fair, is it?

Ema 'Emmy' Hesire: [points to the sky] Talk to them.

Ema 'Emmy' Hesire: Mother, I don't want to settle down. I want to do things, I want to invent things, I want to try things that nobody's ever tried before... I want to fly.

Emmy's Mother: [sarcastic] Sure and I want to smoke and tell your father to go to hell! Emmy, if I thought we women could any way change anything, don't you think I'd encourage you?

Mr. Richards: Listen, that new stock boy, Switcher, has been promoted. He'll be doing windows at night. I just want you to keep an eye on him for me.

Felix: Do you suspect pilferage, sir? I'd be happy to strip-search him.

Mr. Richards: You people that work at night scare me. I want you to just watch him, let me know what he's up to, how he works.

Felix: [handing Mr. Richards a container of shoe polish] Here, Mr. Richards. You had better put some camouflage on sir.

Mr. Richards: I am not going to put shoe polish on my face, thank you. Now, could we please get into the store, Felix?

Felix: [seeing Jonathan and Emmy leaving] It's him! It's her! Ooh, that little prevert! He's stealing her before we can!

Mr. Richards: Okay, let's not do anything rash! We'll follow them quietly and look for just the right moment to grab them.

Felix: Don't worry, Mr. Richards. I'm an expert at surveillance. Hang on!

[They begin chasing Jonathan and Emmy]

[Roxie notices Jonathan and Emmy, as a mannequin, leaving Prince and Company]

Roxie Shield: [suddenly surprised] Jonathan, you're riding around town with a mannequin on the back of your motorcycle! What is wrong with this picture?

Roxie Shield: Jonathan, I wanna give you one last chance. Now, come to Illustra!

Jonathan Switcher: What is in this for you, Roxie? An office with a view? I don't need Illustra or you. I have friends here, people who care. And someone who makes me feel good about myself. Goodbye, Roxie.

[Jonathan and Emmy leave Prince and Company on his motorcycle]

Roxie Shield: [shouts after him] You'll be sorry! You're making a serious mistake!

[Mr. Richards and Felix have been arrested for their greedy actions]

Jonathan Switcher: Mrs. Timkin, those video cameras. Did they pick up everything last night?

Claire Timkin: [smiles coyly] I only saw what I needed to see.

Roxie Shield: [to Emmy] Just where do you come from?

Jonathan Switcher: Roxie, you would never understand.

[Jonathan and Emmy leave the store room before Roxie]

Hollywood Montrose: [snaps his fingers to B.J. in a justified manner] Mm-hmm.

[Emmy comes across and fiddles with a nailgun, unaware of its extreme danger]

Jonathan Switcher: [unplugs the nailgun] Why don't we stick to good old-fashioned hand tools for the time being, okay?

Ema 'Emmy' Hesire: [checks his hands] You've got good hands. I liked the way they felt when you were putting me together.

Jonathan Switcher: How do you know you're not missing something better 5,000 years from now?

Ema 'Emmy' Hesire: Nothing could ever be better than being here with you.

Jonathan Switcher: This is one guy who is never gonna leave your side.