Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted Quotes

[from trailer]

Capitaine Chantel DuBois: You can run, but you can not save your hides!

King Julien XIII: [in a train] Hey, this is not first class!

Maurice: Oh! Definitely coach.

King Julien XIII: [to a female bear] Has anyone ever told you that you look like a supermodel, albeit a fat, hairy one, who smells?

[the Bear eats him... and pulls him out by his tail]

King Julien XIII: Whoa-ha-ha!

Alex: We're going the wrong way! Turn around!

Marty: Just call me Marty-o Andretti!

Alex: No, you're Sucky-o Andretti!

Marty: Stop back-seat driving!

Alex: I'm passenger-seat driving, and I want the wheel! Give me the wheel!

Marty: It's not a wheel, it's my baby!

Alex: Your hooves aren't meant to be on a wheel!

Marty: It's too late for you to drive now!

Alex: Stefano, you're a genius.

Stefano: No, I'm a not. I'm only average intelligence. Some even say slightly below.

Jonesy the Dog: Why should we even help them? They're not even circus.

Vitaly: That's Bolshevik!

Skipper: As much as I hate to admit it in American soil, the Ruskie's right.

Capitaine Chantel DuBois: You know what they say. When in Rome...

[jumps onto police scooter]

Capitaine Chantel DuBois: VIVA LA FRANCE!

Marty: [singing and dancing] Da-da-dadadada-da-da, circus, da-da-dadadada-da-da, afro! Circus afro, circus afro! Polka dot, polka dot, polka dot afro!

Alex: ...Really?

Melman: I can't dance!

Gloria: Maybe that's because you've never tried it before.

Melman: I *have* tried it! I practice in private because you're so good at it...

Gloria: You practice? For me?

Melman: Yeah, but... It's no use! I never know what to do with my arms.

Gloria: That's the easy part.

[wraps Melman's arms around her neck]

Gloria: You just put your arms around your partner.

Alex: Well, I say they can take the animals out of the circus, but they can't take the animals out of the circus!

[pause]

Alex: Uh, you know what I mean!

[Gloria gets stuck after falling down an air shaft, nearly crushing Alex, Marty, and Melman]

Melman: [to Gloria, sweetly yet awkwardly] Hi, honey!

[the group is observing their old homes from outside the zoo gates]

Alex: Hmm... My rock looks smaller than I remember it being...

Marty: Hey, look, it's the mural! Heh, doesn't quite capture the real thing, does it?

Gloria: Well, there's our homes... I forgot about that wall between us, Melman. Was that always there?

Vitaly: It is impossible.

Alex: It was always impossible. That's why the people loved it.

Vitaly: That is why I loved it, because I did the impossible.

Alex: I just wanted to thank you for letting us get in the train back there. I know "the big guy with the accent" wasn't so happy about this and...

Gia: Look, lion guy. This circus means everything to us. And if you do anything that threatens this circus, you'll have to answer to me. Capiche?

Alex: Yeah, capiche. Cool! Trust me, we're cool.

Alex: Skipper, what about the plane?

Skipper: Well, the chimps will work all through the night, no breaks, no safety restrictions...

[Chimps run off]

Skipper: Hey! Where are you going? Get back here, we have a contract!

Mason: Yes, well, I'm afraid the labour laws are slightly more lenient in France. You see, they only have to work 2 weeks in a year.

Skipper: Well, someone else has the Canadian work ethic!

Alex: And Melman, you're the Brooklyn Bridge.

Melman: Actually, I'm the Triborough Bridge.

Skipper: I say we let it ride, then we pick up the hippies and fly back in style.

Kowalski: Can we get an Airbus A380?

Skipper: Solid gold, baby!

Kowalski: Skipper, I'm afraid a solid gold plane would be too heavy to fly.

Skipper: Kowalski, we'll be rich. The rules of physics don't apply to us.

Marty: Man, that is one ugly, mag-ugly lady! That is roach-killing ugly!

Alex: Wait a minute, that's no lady, that's the King of Versailles; and that's not the King of Versailles, that's the chimps! And the chimps are smoke, and where there's smoke, there's fire, and by fire, I mean the penguins!

King Julien XIII: [Waiting for the signal to turn off the casino master switch] Now?

Maurice: Not yet.

King Julien XIII: Okay?

Maurice: No!

[later]

Maurice: Now!

King Julien XIII: [Sticking pencils in his nose, ears and mouth] Uh, I'm a little busy right now.

Maurice: Just pull the switch!

King Julien XIII: Okay, fine.

Alex: The Colosseum, the original theater in the round, Marty. You know, my ancestors used to perform here.

Marty: No kiddin'?

Alex: Yeah. Every show had a captive audience. Apparently, they killed.

Melman: How are a zebra, a hippo, a lion and a giraffe going to walk into a casino in Monte Carlo?

Marty: I don't know. Ask the rabbi.

Skipper: [Having a pillow fight with the other penguins] You all pillow fight like little girls!

[Rico hits Skipper hard with a pillow, feathers fly out]

Skipper: Chimichanga! These pillows are stuffed with baby birds!

Skipper: You better know what you're doing. You're blowing away the Private's college fund.

Private: I'll never be President!

Stefano: Maybe I am average intelligence after all.

Alex: Some would even say slightly above.

Stefano: No, I don't think so.

Gia: Alex? You are from a zoo?

[pause]

Alex: Yes. Yes. But wait, there's more.

Gia: More?

Alex: Or less. There's less.

Vitaly: You were never circus?

Gloria: We had to say we were circus.

Melman: Or you'd never let us on the train.

Gia: After all we have been through together, you want to go live in a zoo?

Alex: Gia, I...

Vitaly: You used us.

Alex: No, no, no. I mean - I mean yes but,

Gia: Trapeze americano, you make that up, too?

Alex: It didn't exactly exist when I taught it to you.

Gia: Jet packs and aquatic cobras! I should've known.

Stefano: Balloons to the children of the world was not real, either?

Alex: Yeah, that's not real. But look at what we did.

Stefano: I was shot out of a cannon! I could've died!

Marty: But I thought it was your lifelong dream.

Stefano: For all I know, your name is not even Alice.

Alex: No, Stefano, but it never really was.

Stefano: I don't feel safe!

Alex: Gia, I...

Gia: We trusted you.

Stefano: My tears are real! You are not!

Alex: [after Gia asks Alex to teach her trapeze] What are we 5.

Gia: Si! I am five.

Stefano: Come in this way, Alice.

Alex: By the way, it's Ix. Not iss. Alex. Like New York Knicks.

Stefano: I know. New York Kniss. It's not hard.

Skipper: Unleash the seal!

Stefano: I am a sea lion.

Skipper: Whatever.

Capitaine Chantel DuBois: Surprise!

[She measures the unconscious Alex]

Capitaine Chantel DuBois: He will never fit in the carry-on... but his head will!

[She holds up a saw]

Zookeeper 1: Hey!

Capitaine Chantel DuBois: Quest-que-ce?

[the zookeepers approach]

Zookeeper 1: Look what she's done! You brought back Alex the lion!

[He shakes the confused Captain's hand]

Zookeeper 2: It's a miracle!

Zookeeper 1: Thank you. Thank you!