Live and Let Die Quotes

Mr. Big: I got my own plans for you, baby. But first, there's one little question that he wants answered for him.

James Bond: In that case, you better ship me back to the island and let him ask in person. I'm not in the habit of giving answers to... lackeys.

Mr. Big: You damn lucky you got an ear left to hear the question with! Which is, did you mess with that?

[indicates Solitaire]

James Bond: Assuming you mean what I think...

[Mr. Big nods impatiently]

James Bond: ... That's between Solitaire and myself - and Kanaga. I'll tell him when I see him.

Mr. Big: You ain't gonna see the SUNLIGHT again, unless you ANSWER ME!

James Bond: [sarcastic] I had no idea you were so frightened of him.

Mr. Big: [roars in Bond's face] DID YOU TOUCH HER?

James Bond: [firmly] *When I see Kananga.*

Mr. Big: ...Right!

[Kananga tears and peels away his own face and hair, actually a latex mask and a wig]

James Bond: Quite revealing!

Sheriff J.W. Pepper: There's that son of a bitch. I got him.

[to Bond]

Sheriff J.W. Pepper: What are you? Some kinda doomsday machine boy? Well WE got a cage strong enough to hold an animal like you here!

Felix Leiter: Captain, would you enlighten the Sheriff please?

State Trooper: Yessir. J.W., let me have a word with ya. J.W., now this fellow's from London England. He's a Englishman workin' in cooperation with our boys, a sorta... secret agent.

Sheriff J.W. Pepper: Secret AGENT? On WHOSE side?

Cab driver: Hey, you know where you're goin', man?

James Bond: Uptown, I believe?

Cab driver: Uptown? You headed into Harlem, man!

James Bond: Well you just stay on the tail of that jukebox and there's an extra twenty in it for you.

Cab driver: Hey man, for twenty bucks I'd take you to a Ku Klux Klan cookout!

Tee-Hee: [leaving Bond stranded on an island surrounded by crocodiles] There are two ways to disable a crocodile you know.

James Bond: I... don't suppose you'd care to share that information with me?

Tee-Hee: One way is to take a pencil, and jam it into the pressure hole behind his eye.

James Bond: And the other?

Tee-Hee: Oh the other's twice as simple. You just put your hand in his mouth... and pull his teeth out! Heh, heh!

[Strutter is pursuing James Bond through Harlem]

Harold Strutter: Can't miss him. It's like following a cue ball.

Mr. Big: [to his men] Is *this* the stupid mutha that tailed you uptown?

James Bond: There seems to be some mistake. My name is...

Mr. Big: Names is for tombstones, baby! Y'all take this honky out and waste him! Now!

Cab driver: I sure hope you make friends easy!

[Bond hands him the fare]

Cab driver: Right on, brother!

Cab driver: [on his CB radio] He's-a-headin' on in.

M: I'm sure the over-burdened British taxpayer would be fascinated to know how its Special Ordinances section disperses its funds. In future, Commander, let me suggest a perfectly adequate watchmaker just down the street.

[Bond activates the watch magnet, drawing to it M's spoon]

M: Good God!

James Bond: You see, sir. By pulling out this button, it turns the watch into a hyper-intensified magnetic field. Powerful enough to even deflect the path of a bullet - at long range, or so Q claims...

M: I feel very tempted to test that theory right now!

[the police cars approach a slow-moving truck]

Sheriff J.W. Pepper: Did you ever think of getting a driver's licence, boy?

Rosie Carver: There's a...

James Bond: Oh, a snake. I forgot, I should have told you. You should never go in there without a mongoose.

[Bond has just explained the first two Lover's Lessons to Solitaire]

Solitaire: Is there time before we leave, for lesson number 3?

James Bond: [undressing] Absolutely. There's no sense going out half-cocked.

[as Bond unzips Miss Caruso's dress with the magnet in his watch]

Miss Caruso: Such a delicate touch.

James Bond: Sheer magnetism, darling.

Sheriff J.W. Pepper: [radaring behind a sign as Adam passes him, then on radio] Toby. Toby! I got me a regular Ben-Hur down here. Doing 95... minimum

State Trooper: Need any help, J.W.?

Sheriff J.W. Pepper: HELL NO!

[to Bond]

Solitaire: The cards have followed you for me.

State Trooper: That look like a boat stuck in the Sheriff's car there, Eddie?

Eddie: Boy, where you been all your life? That there's one of them new car-boats.

Sheriff J.W. Pepper: By the powers INvested IN ME by *this parish*, I hereby do commandeer this vehicle and all those persons within!

[spits and looks at Eddie]

Sheriff J.W. Pepper: And that means YOU, smartass!

[Bond picks "The Fool" out of Solitaire's deck of cards]

Solitaire: You have found yourself.

Hamilton: Whose funeral is this?

New Orleans Assassin: Yours.

[stabs Hamilton]

Sheriff J.W. Pepper: [Adam has been stopped for speeding] You gotta set of wheels that just won't quit, boy! If they's yours that is...

[Adam reaches for his gun but Sheriff Pepper draws his first]

Sheriff J.W. Pepper: UH-UH! Spin around boy!

[points at the car]

Sheriff J.W. Pepper: Ten fingers on the fender.

[Adam complies]

Sheriff J.W. Pepper: Legs apart.

[kicks Adam's legs apart]

Sheriff J.W. Pepper: I take it this ain't exactly your debut at this sort of thing. You picked the WRONG parish to haul ass through BOY! NOBODY cuts and runs on Sheriff J.W. PEPPER! And it's him who's speakin' by the way.

[first lines]

UN Translator: [translating for Hungarian delegate] ... was so ably pointed out by the Secretary General in his opening remarks. But - and I must emphasize this point - no formula can or will ever cover each case. For instance...

[audio feed is unplugged]

[last lines]

[Bond removes prosthetic arm from train window]

Solitaire: Now what are you doing?

James Bond: Just being disarming, darling.

[Rosie screams upon finding the hat in her bedroom. Bond investigates and finds her petrified with terror]

James Bond: Why, it's just a hat, darling... Evidently belonging to a small-headed man of limited means, who lost a fight with a chicken.

Rosie Carver: It's a *warning!* GET IT OUT OF HERE!

Solitaire: [Kananga has just died from the gas pellet shoved in his mouth] Where's Kananga?

James Bond: He always did have an inflated opinion of himself.

Solitaire: [She has just beaten James at Gin Rummy] James, what are you doing?

James Bond: Just testing an old adage: "Unlucky at cards..."

James Bond: Black Queen on the red King, Miss...

Solitaire: Solitaire.

James Bond: My name's Bond, James Bond.

Solitaire: I know who you are, what you are, and why you've come. You have made a mistake. You will not succeed.

[Bond is en route from London to New York City]

Solitaire: [turning tarot cards between sentences] A man comes. He travels quickly. He has purpose. He comes over water. He travels with others. He will oppose. He brings violence and destruction.

[plane lands in New York]

[Bond sees a possible weapon]

Black Man: [to Bond] Keep your hands up, honkey!

[to his pal]

Black Man: What does he think this is? I'll blow his friggin' head off.

[Felix is on the phone with Mr. Bleeker after Bond totals one of his planes while running from Kananga's men at New Orleans Airport. Bond asks how Mrs. Bell, the old woman in the plane with him, is doing after the ordeal]

James Bond: How is Mrs. Bell?

Felix Leiter: [Covering the mouthpiece of the telephone] Intensive care, but she'll pull through.

[Kananga is about to punish Solitaire for lying about losing her psychic powers when Baron Samedi walks into the room. Solitaire gets up from her chair and heads towards the far wall of the room]

Solitaire: [to Kananga thinking that they are going back to San Monique] When do we start back?

Kananga: Soon, Solitaire, soon.

[Samedi picks up a Tarot card, lights it into a nearby fire, and hands it to Kananga. Kananga flaps it around to extinguish the fire]

Kananga: [Questioning Solitaire on why she lied to him about losing her powers to read the Tarot] Solitaire, why? I treated you well. You lacked for nothing.

Solitaire: I don't understand what you...

Kananga: [interrupting] Mr. Bond's watch, my dear. I gave you every break possible. You had a 50-50 chance. You weren't even close.

Solitaire: I had no choice. Please believe me. The cards.

[Kananga gets out of his chair and walks towards Solitaire. He immediately grabs her right shoulder and flanks her into his direction. At that moment, anger surrounds him. He turns his head for a minute to face the display. Suddenly, he turns his hand back towards Solitaire and slaps her. Solitaire falls to the ground]

Kananga: [Realizing that Solitaire defied orders and lost her virginity to Bond] When the time came, I myself would have given you love. You knew that.

[pauses]

Kananga: [Angrily] YOU KNEW THAT!

[Baron Samedi, seated on the corner of the table reaches his hand out towards a deck of Tarot cards and picks up the top card of the deck. The cards are face down, so we cannot tell which card Samedi picked up]

Kananga: [to Solitaire and Samedi] There's only one proper way to deal with this...

[Solitaire lifts up her head and looks at the table while Samedi, with the Tarot card in his hand, flips it around so Solitaire can see it. The card is marked "Death"]

Kananga: ...And one proper time.

[Samedi laughs as fear emerges on Solitaire's face]

Adam: [in his car's CB radio] Bond ripped off one of our boats. He's headed for the Irish Bayou. The man that gets him stays alive! Now, MOVE YOU MOTHERS!

[Adam's men on the other line scatter in all directions to their speedboats]

[after Bond and Solitaire narrowly escape from Mr. Big's henchmen]

James Bond: Now where would you like to go?

[Solitaire lays down on a cot]

Solitaire: Anywhere where we can find one of these.

[after Bond throws Tee Hee Johnson out the window]

Solitaire: Well that wasn't very funny.

Mr. Big: What shall we drink to, Mr. Bond?

James Bond: [as the overweight Whisper approaches with drinks] Well, how about an earthquake?

Whisper: [barely audible] Your champagne, sir.

James Bond: What?

Whisper: [slightly louder] Your champagne!

James Bond: [takes a moment to realize what Whisper's saying] Oh! Just put it on the table over there, will you?

Whisper: [whispering] Shall I open it?

James Bond: Hmm?

Whisper: [louder] Shall I open it?

James Bond: Oh, no, I can take care of that.

[hands Whisper money]

Whisper: Thank you.

Rosie Carver: [James and Rosie lying on a picnic blanket kissing] Oh, James. Ooh you don't know what finding you has meant to me.

James Bond: Oh I can imagine. And you've no idea what finding this has meant to me.

[James shows her a Queen of Cups tarot card that Solitiare sent him]

James Bond: You do know what the Queen of Cups means in an upside down position? A deceitful, perverse woman. A liar, a cheat, and I'd like some answers now.

Rosie Carver: Please... uh... You don't understand, sir. They'll kill me if I do.

James Bond: [James Bond produces his gun and points it at Rosie] And I'll kill you if you don't.

Rosie Carver: But you couldn't. You wouldn't. Not after what we just done.

James Bond: Well, I certainly wouldn't have killed you before.

[during the tense interrogation scene over Solitaire]

Kananga: Solitaire... my dear. I need you to listen to me very carefully. On the back of Mr. Bond's wristwatch, the registration number is 3266. Do I speak the truth?

[after a tense moment, Solitaire carefully lifts up a tarot card and looks at it]

Solitaire: [nervous] You speak the truth.

[there is another long and tense pause as Kananga glares at Solitaire then back at Bond with his back turned. Not reacting or even blinking, Kananga gesters a command to Tee-Hee who removes his metal claw from Mr. Bond's right hand and also removes his restraints. A relieved Bond stands up from his chair as Kananga, still quiet, tosses his wristwatch back to Bond who puts it back on]

James Bond: Well, if there's nothing else I guess I've laid your fears to rest. My compliments on a splended operation. There is one thing however that...

[suddenly and without warning Tee-Hee knocks out Bond with his prosthetic metal arm. Whisper then walks in from another room]

Kananga: Whisper, take him to the farm.

[Tee-Hee walks out and Whisper, picking up the unconscious Bond, leaves the room, leaving Kananga and Solitaire alone]

James Bond: Harold Stutter, CIA, where were you when I didn't need you?

Harold Strutter: Quite obvious you weren't getting out front, not even with that clever disguise you're wearing.

James Bond: Huh?

Harold Strutter: White face in Harlem. Good thinkin' Bond. Let's get outta here.

James Bond: I'm surprised they didn't spot you, too. There's a most remarkable girl back there with a deck of cards.

Harold Strutter: I saw those cards on the way up. Spades, James, every one. You were nailed the minute you left 74.

Rosie Carver: Oh, I should have never gotten into any of this! I'm going to be completely useless to you.

James Bond: Well, I'm sure we'll be able to lick you into shape.

Solitaire: I've lost it! The high priestess, his wife to the prince no longer of this world. The spiritual bridge to the secret church. Is my fate. By compelling me to earthly love, the gods themselves have taken away my powers.

James Bond: Darling, I've got a small confession to make now. Try not to be too upset. The deck was slightly stacked to my favor.

Solitaire: It makes no difference. The physical violation cannot be undone.

James Bond: Are you sure this is the way to New Orleans?

Cab driver: I don't know! But, it shore beats the hell outta Harlem. Don't it? Well, hello, Jim! What's happenin', baby? Just ease back now, Jim. Relax! Mr. Big wants to see you.

James Bond: Bourbon, no ice, please.

Felix Leiter: Two sazeracs. Where's your sense of adventure James? This is New Orleans. Relax.

Kananga: The question still stands, Mr. Bond, asked by the gentleman concerned - did you touch her?

James Bond: Well, its not the sort of question a gentleman answers.

Kananga: ...What did you call me - a WHOLESALER?

[laughs with scorn]

Kananga: How old-hat can you get... *selling heroin for money!*

James Bond: My apologies; I'm sure you simply GIVE it away.

Kananga: Precisely, Mr. Bond. Two tons of it, to be exact. When entering into a vastly competitive field, one finds it advantageous to give away free samples. Man, woman, child, Black, White, Latino... I don't discriminate.

James Bond: Four thousand pounds of heroin, with a street value of well over $1 billion, nationally distributed for free? That should make a certain network of families rather angry, wouldn't you say?

Kananga: ANGRY? Why, my dear Mr. Bond, it'll drive them positively out of their minds... not to mention out of the business.

James Bond: Quite ingenious. A sort of junkies' welfare system.

Kananga: Well, merely until the number of addicts in this country has *doubled*, shall we say. Then I will proceed to market that acreage which you blundered into the other day. That heroin will be very expensive, indeed... leaving the phone company and myself the only two growing monopolies in this nation for *years* to come.

James Bond: And I thought it was Solitaire that did the fortune telling.

Kananga: Let's hope, for BOTH your sakes, she still CAN.

James Bond: Thanks for everything Felix. I'll see you tomorrow night at the 21 Club and don't be late.

Felix Leiter: I still don't see why you want to travel this way. I mean, what the hell can the two of you do on the train for 16 hours?

James Bond: [Solitaire smiles] Say goodbye to Felix, darling.

James Bond: Miss Moneypenny, thank you.

Moneypenny: Goodbye, James. Or, should I say - Ciao, bello!

Baron Samedi: [Passing through the San Monique cemetery where nightly voodoo rituals are held, Bond and Solitaire find Baron Samendi playing his flute. Noticing the pair, he beams a welcoming smile at them] Good morning, boss!

James Bond: Good morning.

Baron Samedi: It's sure gonna be a beautiful day, isn't it?

[laughs menacingly]

Baron Samedi: Yes sir, a *beautiful* day.

[as Solitaire and Bond move along, Samendi opens his flute - revealing it to be a communications device]

Baron Samedi: They're heading for the hill.