Little Shop of Horrors Quotes

[the masochistic patient meets the sadistic dentist]

Arthur Denton: I think I need a root canal. I definitely need a long, slow root canal.

[Orin Scrivello, the sadistic dentist]

Orin: [singing] I thrill when I drill a bicuspid / It's swell though they tell me I'm mal-ad-just-ed.

[repeated line]

Audrey II: Feed me, Seymour!

Audrey II: Feed me!

Seymour: Does it have to be human?

Audrey II: Feed me!

Seymour: Does it have to be mine?

Audrey II: Feeeed me!

Seymour: Where am I supposed to get it?

Audrey II: [singing] Feed me, Seymour / Feed me all night long - That's right, boy! - You can do it! Feed me, Seymour / Feed me all night long / Ha ha ha ha ha! / Cause if you feed me, Seymour / I can grow up big and strong.

Audrey II: [singing] Would you like a Cadillac car? / Or a guest shot on Jack Paar? / How about a date with Hedy Lamarr? / You're gonna get it.

[spoken]

Audrey II: If you want it, baby.

Seymour: The Audrey Two is not a healthy girl.

Mr. Mushnik: Strictly between us - neither is the Audrey One.

Audrey: Seymour's first radio broadcast! I wanted to hear it so bad. I tried to be on time, but...

Mr. Mushnik: Don't tell me. You got tied up.

Audrey: No. Just handcuffed a little.

Orin: [holding a dentist's tool] Let me ask you something! Does this scare you? Would you like if I took this and headed right for your damn incisors?

Seymour: [looks terrified]

Orin: It'd hurt, right?

Seymour: Uh huh.

Orin: You'd scream, right?

Seymour: Uh huh.

Orin: Well get your ass in here!

[in the Radio station]

Wink Wilkinson: Gee, I wish you folks could see this. Hey Seymour, where did you get this WEEEEEEEEEEIRD plant?

Audrey: All I ever wanted was you and a sweet little house.

Seymour: Oh Audrey, you're the most wondeful person that ever lived. We're gonna get that little house and everything's gonna be alright, you'll see.

[her last lines, theatrical cut]

Audrey II: Oh, shit!

Seymour: Every household in America? Thousands of you eating... that's what you had in mind all along, isn't it?

Audrey II: No shit, Sherlock.

Seymour: We're not talking about one hungry plant here, we're talking about world conquest.

Audrey II: And I want to thank you.

Seymour: You're not gonna get away with this. Your kind never does!

Audrey II: [laughes wildly at Seymour]

Seymour: I don't care what it takes. Only one of us gets out of here alive!

Audrey: I'm sorry doctor, I'm sorry.

Orin: Fall off the motorcycle my ass!

Seymour: Wait a minute, Audrey II, that's not a very nice thing to say!

Audrey II: But it's true, isn't it?

Seymour: No! I don't know anybody who deserves to get chopped up and fed to a hungry plant!

Audrey II: Mmmmmm, sure you do!

[Turns Seymour around to look out the window. They see Orin and Audrey. Orin yells at Audrey and at last hits her]

[Seymour is attempting to put a plant on a high shelf. The shelving unit falls and the plants crash to the floor]

Mr. Mushnik: Seymour, what's going on?

Seymour: Very little, Mr. Mushnik.

Orin: Stupid woman! Christ, what a friggin' scatterbrain!

Audrey: I'm sorry, doctor! I'm sorry, doctor!

Orin: Falls off the motorcycle!

Audrey: I'm clumsy, doctor! I'm clumsy, doctor!

Orin: [kicks down the doors] Messes my hair! Get the door open, you little slut!

Audrey: I'm trying, doctor! I'm trying, doctor!

Orin: Get the Vitalis! Quick, the Vitalis!

Audrey: [feeling threatened] I'm out of it!

Orin: [grabs her] What!

[Orin slaps her harshly making her cry]

Seymour: [singing] Suddenly Seymour / Is standing beside you

Audrey: [singing] Suddenly Seymour / Showed me I can...

Seymour: [singing over sustain] Yes you can...

Patrick Martin: Excuse me! Pardon me, beg your pardon, if you two kids would stop singing for just a moment I've got something I want to discuss with you.

Patrick Martin: Me and the guys at the home office have been following this plant of yours. We've come up with one incredible idea. We're very proud of it. Picture this: we take leaf cuttings, develop little Audrey IIs and sell them to florist shops across the nation. Pretty soon every household in America could have one.

Seymour: [concerned] Every household in America!

Patrick Martin: For starters, kid. Why, this thing could go... worldwide!

Seymour, Audrey: [to each other, panicked:] *Worldwide*?

Patrick Martin: With the right advertising, this thing could be bigger than Hula-Hoops.

Audrey: [to Seymour, intrigued:] Bigger than Hula-Hoops?

Audrey II: [rapping] You know I don't come from no Black Lagoon.

Pods: No!

Audrey II: I'm from past the stars and beyond the moon.

Pods: Yes!

Audrey II: You can keep The Thing.

Pods: Thing!

Audrey II: Keep The It.

Pods: It!

Audrey II: Keep The Creature, they don't mean shit!

Audrey: I don't believe it.

Audrey II: Believe it, baby. It talks.

Audrey: Am I dreaming this?

Audrey II: No, and you ain't in Kansas, neither.

Audrey II: I need me some water in the worst way. Look at my branches. I'm dryin' up. I'm a *goner*, honey!

Audrey II: [singing] Come on and give me a drink!

Audrey: I don't know if I should.

Audrey II: [singing] Hey, little lady, be nice.

Audrey: Do you talk to Seymour like this?

Audrey II: [singing] Sure do. I'll take it straight.

Audrey: Your leaves *are* dry.

Audrey II: [singing] Don't need no glass or no ice.

Audrey: I'll get the can.

Audrey II: [singing] Don't need no twist of lime...

Audrey: [sing-song] Here we go!

Audrey II: And now it's *suppertime*!

Patrick Martin: Whaddya say, Seymour? Do we have a deal?

Seymour: No! Keep your contract. Nobody's touchin' that plant, you hear?

Patrick Martin: Hey, we're offerin' a lotta money here!

Seymour: Forget the money. Take the money and leave!

Patrick Martin: Whaddya, nuts?

Seymour: Yeah, I'm nuts! Get outta here!

Patrick Martin: Hey, now, come on!

Seymour: Go on! Get outta here!

Patrick Martin: You're a loon!

Seymour: Go on and get out!

Patrick Martin: Look, I'll come back when you're in a better mood!

Seymour: Go on, get outta here now!

Patrick Martin: Alright!

Orin: Look Seymour, this could happen to you. Unless I take immediate action.

Seymour: [helpless in dentist chair] What's that?

Orin: [enthusiastically] A drill.

Seymour: It's rusty!

Orin: It's an antique. They don't make 'em like this any more. Sturdy. Heavy. Dull!

Orin: I'm gonna want some gas fer this.

Seymour: Oh, thank God. I thought you weren't gonna use any.

Orin: Oh, the gas isn't for you Seymour, it's for me. You see, I wanna really enjoy this.

Mr. Mushnik: Hey, urchins!

[bangs on window]

Mr. Mushnik: Shoo, get outta here!/ No loitering!

Ronette: Maan, I wasn't loitering/ Were you Crystal?

Crystal: Not me Ronette, were you Chiffon?

Mr. Mushnik: You kids should be in school!

Chiffon: Yeah, but were on a split shift.

Ronette: Yeah! We went to school till the tenth grade, then we split!

Mr. Mushnik: So! How do you intend to better yourselves?

Crystal: Better ourselves? You heard what he said? Better ourselves! Mister, when you're from Skid Row/ Ain't no such thing!

Audrey: I got a date.

Mr. Mushnik: With that same no-goodnik? I'm telling you, Audrey, you don't need a date - you need major medical!

Mr. Mushnik: Move, move! Move! Stay away!

[gestures them away from inside his window]

Mr. Mushnik: No loitering!

Ronette: Man, I wasn't loitering! Were you, Crystal?

Crystal: Not me, Ronette! Were you, Chiffon?

Mr. Mushnik: You oughta be in school!

Chiffon: Yeah, well, we're on a split shift.

Ronette: Yeah! We went to school till fifth grade, then we split!

Mr. Mushnik: So! How do you intend to better yourselves?

Crystal: Better ourselves? You heard what he said? Better ourselves! Mister, when you're from Skid Row, ain't no such thing!

Seymour: [singing] I don't know.

Audrey II: Come on, boy!

Seymour: [singing] I don't know!

Audrey II: Lighten up!

Seymour: [singing] I have so, so many strong reservations.

Audrey II: Tell it to the Marines!

Seymour: [singing] Should I go and perform mutilations?

[while undergoing a torturous procedure by Orin Scrivello, DDS]

Arthur Denton: It's your professionalism that I respect.

Audrey II: Tough titty!

Seymour: You watch your language!

Audrey II: Aw cut the crap and bring on the meat!

[Seymour points a gun at him]

Orin: [while wearing a gas mask, sees it] Huh? What the hell's that? A gun?

[laughs out of control]

Orin: [sarcastically while laughing still] Kid's got a goddamn revolver Oh, Jesus! I'm in trouble now, huh?

[Orin laughs still as Seymour goes nervous still pointing the gun at him]

Orin: Oh, wait till I turn this gas off.

[takes the cap off by accident]

Orin: Uh-oh! Oh, give me a hand, would you? No, I guess you wouldn't, would you?

[laughs again but coughs as he tries to take the mask off]

Orin: You see, Seymour, I could asphyx...

[coughs out of control]

Orin: I could asphyx...

[continues laughing and coughing until he collapses on the floor]

Orin: [stops laughing] What'd I ever do to you?

Seymour: [lowers the gun] Nothing. It's what you did to her.

Orin: Her who?

[Seymour does not answer]

Orin: [finally gets it] Oh... her...

[Orin then dies from too much nitrous oxide as Seymour goes puzzled]

Mr. Mushnik: [after Seymour asks why Mushnik is angry at him] Little red dots all over the linoleum, little red spots on the concrete outside - I'm talking blood, Krelborn! I'm talking under my own roof!

[grabs an axe]

Mr. Mushnik: An axe murderer!

[Seymour goes alarmed]

Audrey II: [sings off-screen] He's got your number now.

Mr. Mushnik: I saw everything!

Audrey II: He knows just what you've done.

Mr. Mushnik: Everything you did to her boyfriend!

Audrey II: You've got no place to hide.

Mr. Mushnik: [swings the axe] I saw you chopping him!

Audrey II: You've got nowhere to run.

Seymour: [innocently] It's true! I chopped him up, but I didn't kill him!

Audrey II: He knows your life of crime.

Mr. Mushnik: [points a gun at him] Tell it to the police!

Audrey II: I think it's suppertime!

Seymour: You okay?

Audrey: Yes... no...

[Audrey falls to the ground. Seymour helps her up and holds her in his arms]

Seymour: Don't die, Audrey! Please don't die!

Audrey: You know, the plant just said the strangest thing just now. It said Orin and Mr. Mushnik are already inside!

Seymour: It's true. I did it. I fed them to it.

Audrey: And that's what made it so big and strong, and you so famous?

Seymour: I've done terrible things, Audrey, but not to you. Never to you.

Audrey: But... I want you to, Seymour.

Seymour: What?

Audrey: When I die, which should be very shortly, give me to the plant, so that it will live and bring you all the wonderful things you deserve.

Seymour: You don't know what you're saying.

Audrey: But I do! It's the one gift I can give you. And if I'm in the plant, then I am part of the plant, so in a way... we'll always be together.

[first lines]

Narrator: On the twenty-third day of the month of September, in an early year of a decade not too long before our own, the human race suddenly encountered a deadly threat to its very existence. And this terrifying enemy surfaced, as such enemies often do, in the seemingly most innocent and unlikely of places...

Crystal: [singing] Subsequent to the events you have just witnessed/Similar events in cities across America/Events which bore a striking resemblance/To the ones you have just seen/Began occurring./Ooh, ooo-ooh.

Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: [singing] Subsequent to the events you have just witnessed/Unsuspecting jerks from Maine to California/Made the acquaintance of a new breed of flytrap/And got sweet-talked into feeding it blood./Thus the plants worked their terrible will/Finding jerks who would feed them their fill/And the plants proceeded to grow, and grow/And began what they came here to do/Which was essentially to/Eat Cleveland/And Des Moines/And Peoria/And New York/And where you live!

[last lines, director's cut]

Company: [singing] Hold your hat and hang on to your soul/Something's coming to eat the world whole/If we fight it, we've still got a chance/But whatever they offer you/Though they're slopping the trough for you/Please whatever they offer you/Don't feed the plants!/Don't feed the plants!

'Downtown' Old Woman: [singing] Alarm goes off at seven/And you start uptown/You put in your eight hours/For the powers/That have always been.

Ronette: Sing it, child.

'Downtown' Old Woman: 'Til it's 5 PM...

'Downtown' Bum #1: Then you go...

'Downtown' Old Woman, Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: [singing] Downtown/Where the folks are broke/You go downtown/Where your life's a joke/You go downtown/Where the hop-heads flop in the snow.

'Downtown' Old Woman: Home to Skid Row.

Audrey: [singing] Downtown/Where the guys are drips.

Company: Downtown!

Audrey: Where they rip your slips.

Company: Downtown!

Audrey: Where relationships are no go/Down on Skid Row.

Seymour: [singing] Poor/All my life I've always been poor/I keep asking God what I'm for/And he tells me, "Gee, I'm not sure"/"Sweep that floor, kid!"/Oh, I started life as an orphan/A child of the street/Here on skid row/He took me in/Gave me shelter, a bed/Crust of bread and a job/Treats me like dirt, calls me a slob/Which I am/So I live...

Company: Downtown!

Seymour: That's your home address/You live...

Company: Downtown!

Seymour: When your life's a mess/You live...

Company: Downtown!

Seymour: Where depression's just status quo.

Company: Down on Skid Row.

Seymour, Audrey: [singing] Gee, it sure would be swell to get outta here/Bid the gutter farewell and get outta here/I'd move Heaven and Hell to get outta Skid/I'd do I don't know what to get outta Skid...

Company: Downtown!

Seymour, Audrey: But a hell of a lot to get outta Skid...

Company: Downtown!

Seymour, Audrey: People tell me there's not a way outta Skid...

Company: Downtown!

Seymour, Audrey: But believe me/I gotta get outta Skid...

Seymour, Audrey, Company: ...Row!

Orin: [singing] When I was younger, just a bad little kid/My mama noticed funny things I did/Like shooting puppies with a BB gun/I'd poison guppies, and when I was done/I'd find a pussycat and bash in its head/That's when my mama said...

Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: What did she say?

Orin: She said, "My boy, I think someday/You'll find a way/To make your natural tendencies pay/You'll be a dentist!/You have a talent for causing things pain/Son, be a dentist/People will pay you to be inhumane/Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood/And teaching would suit you sill less/Son, be a dentist/You'll be a success!"

[Seymour recounts how he found Audrey II]

Seymour: You remember that total eclipse of the sun about a week ago?

Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: [singing] Da-doo!

Seymour: I was walkin' in the wholesale flower district that day...

Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: Shoop da-doo.

Seymour: And I passed by this place, where this old Chinese man...

Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: Chang, da-doo.

Seymour: He sometimes sells me weird and exotic cuttings...

Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: Snip, da-doo.

Seymour: 'Cause he knows, you see, that strange plants are my hobby.

Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: Da da da da da da-doo.

Seymour: He didn't have anything unusual there that day.

Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: Nope, da-doo.

Seymour: So, I was just about to, you know, walk on by...

Doo-Wop Street Singer: Good for you.

Doo-Wop Street Singer, Doo-Wop Street Singer, Doo-Wop Street Singer, Doo-Wop Street Singer: [scatting]

Seymour: When suddenly, and without warning, there was this...

Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: ...total eclipse of the sun!

Seymour: It got very dark, and there was this strange humming sound, like something from another world.

Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: Da-doo!

Seymour: And when the light came back, this weird plant was just sitting there...

Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: Whoop, see-doo.

Seymour: Just, you know, stuck in, among the zinnias.

Crystal, Ronette, Chiffon: Audrey II!

Seymour: I coulda sworn it hadn't been there before, but the old Chinese man sold it to me anyways, for a dollar ninety-five.

[director's cut]

Seymour: 'Every household in America'! That's what you had in mind, isn't it?

Audrey II: No shit, Sherlock!

Seymour: We're not talking about one hungry plant here; we're talking about world conquest!

Audrey II: And I wanna thank you!

Seymour: [distraught] You ate the only thing I ever loved!

[Audrey II laughs at him]

Seymour: You're a monster, and so am I! It's gotta end! It's gotta stop right here!

[theatrical cut]

Seymour: [after saving Audrey from Audrey II] Are you okay?

Audrey: Yes... No...

[Audrey collapses]

Seymour: Audrey! Audrey!

Audrey: [gets back up] No, I'm okay.

Seymour: I'm sorry, Audrey, I'm just so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to hurt anyone. It's just that somehow it makes things happen - terrible things. Well, I guess I should've stopped when I found out what it lived on, but it was cute and harmless, and we started doing business and making money and you like me...

Audrey: Seymour! Do you really think I liked you because of that?

[Seymour goes silent]

Audrey: I liked you from the day I came to work here.

Seymour: You mean you still like me, even if I wasn't famous?

Audrey: [smiles] I'd still love you Seymour.

Seymour: Really?

Audrey: All I ever wanted was you... and that sweet little house.

Seymour: [happily] Oh, Audrey, you're the most wonderful person that ever lived! We're gonna get that little house and everything will be okay somehow, you'll see!

[sings]

Seymour: Suddenly Seymour is standing beside you.

Audrey: [sings] Suddenly Seymour showed me I can!

Seymour: Yes, you can!

Audrey II: [Seymour quietly tries to sneak out of the shop with suitcases while the plant is asleep. As he slowly opens the door...] Feed me.

Seymour: Under NO circumstances.

Audrey II: FEED me.

Seymour: [annoyed] I will not, so stop asking.

Audrey II: Feed me!

Seymour: [puts down suitcase] No! No more! I can't keep living with the guilt

Audrey II: [coldly] Tough titty.

Seymour: You watch your language.

Audrey II: [stands up to full height] Ooooh, cut the crap! Bring on the meat!

Audrey II: [singing] Would you like a Cadillac car? / Or a guest shot on Jack Paar? / How about a date with Hedy Lamarr? / You're gonna get it.

[spoken]

Audrey II: If you want it, baby.

[chuckles]

Audrey II: [threatening Seymour] Better wait a minute Ya better hold the phone Better mind your manners Better change your tone Don't you threaten me, son Ya gotta lot of gall We gonna do things my way Or we won't do things at all

[singing]

Audrey II: Ya don't know what you're messin' with. You got no idea You don't know what you're lookin' at When you're lookin' here Ya don't know what you're up against, No, no way, no how You don't know what you're messin' with, But I'm gonna tell you now! Get this straight! I'm just a mean green mother from outer space and I'm bad I'm just a mean green mother from outer space And it looks like you been had I'm just a mean green mother from outer space, So get off my back 'n get out my face, 'Cause I'm mean and green and I am bad Wanna save your skin, boy? You wanna save your hide? You wanna see tomorrow? You better step aside Better take a tip, boy Want some good advice? You better take it easy, 'Cause you're walkin' on thin ice Ya don't know what you're dealin' with No, you never did Ya don't know what you're lookin' at, But that's tough titty, kid! The lion don't sleep tonight, And if you pull his tail, he roars Ya say, "That ain't fair?" Ya say, "That ain't nice?" Ya know what I say? "Up yours!" Watch me now! I'm just a mean green mother from outer space and I'm bad. I'm just a mean green mother, a real disgrace, And you've got me fightin' mad I'm just a mean green mother from outer space, Gonna trash your ass, Gonna rock this place, 'Cause I'm mean and green and I am bad You know I don't come from no black lagoon I'm from past the stars and beyond the moon You can keep The Thing, keep The It, Keep The Creature, they don't mean shit I got one style, major moves I got the stuff and I think that proves You better move it out Nature calls You got the point? I'm gonna bust your balls

[laughs]

Audrey II: I'm mean and green I'm mean and green I'm mean and green And I. Am. Bad!

Mr. Mushnik: He's not a good, clean kind of boy.

Audrey: He's a professional.

Mr. Mushnik: What kind of professional rides a motorcycle and wears a black leather jacket?

Orin: You got the handcuffs?

Audrey: They're right in my bag.

Orin: Boy, your mouth's a mess, kid! That wisdom tooth. We'll just rip that little bugger right out of there. What do you say?

Seymour: No!

Orin: There's always time for dental hygiene, Seymour.

Audrey II: Chop it up.

Seymour: What?

Audrey II: Feed me!

Audrey: l've led a terrible life! l deserved a creep like Orin Scrivello, DDS. You know where l met him? ln The Gutter.

Seymour: The Gutter?

Audrey: The Gutter. lt's a nightspot.