Labyrinth Quotes

[first lines]

Sarah: Give me the child. Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the Goblin City to take back the child that you have stolen. For my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom is as great...

[thunder rumbles]

Sarah: For my will is as strong as yours, my kingdom as great... Damn.

[pulls the Labyrinth book out of her pocket]

Sarah: I can never remember that line.

[reads]

Sarah: You have no power over me.

The Hat: Eh. Huh? How's that for brainpower, eh?

The Wiseman: Be quiet! So, young woman, the way forward is sometimes the way back.

The Hat: Ah, nuts.

The Wiseman: So, young woman, the way forward is sometimes the way back.

The Hat: Heh, will you listen to this crap?

The Wiseman: Will you please... be... *quiet*? Okay?

The Hat: All right!

The Wiseman: All right?

The Hat: Okay, okay!

Left Door Knocker: It's very rude to stare!

Sarah: Oh! I'm sorry, I was just wondering which door to choose.

Left Door Knocker: HUH?

Right Door Knocker: [muffled] It's no good asking him, he's deaf as a post!

Left Door Knocker: Don't talk with your mouth full!

Right Door Knocker: [muffled] I'm not talking with my mouth full, I...

Sarah: Wait, wait, I can't understand you.

[she takes the ring out of his mouth]

Right Door Knocker: Ah! Mm. Oh, oh, it is so good to get that thing out.

Sarah: What were you saying?

Right Door Knocker: I said, it's no good talking to him, he's deaf as a post.

Left Door Knocker: Mumble mumble mumble! You're a wonderful conversational companion!

Right Door Knocker: You can talk, all you do is moan!

Left Door Knocker: No good! Can't hear you!

Sarah: What's behind these doors?

Left Door Knocker: WHAT?

Right Door Knocker: Search me. We're just the knockers!

[laughs]

Sarah: Oh.

[she goes to the left door, pushes on it]

Sarah: How do I get through?

Left Door Knocker: HUH?

Right Door Knocker: Knock, and the door will open!

Sarah: Oh.

Ludo: [with the ring in his mouth] Hmmph?

Sarah: [amused] Ludo!

[she takes the ring from Ludo, holds it out to the Right Door Knocker]

Right Door Knocker: Hey! I don't want that thing back in my mouth!

Sarah: C'mon, I want to knock!

Right Door Knocker: MM-MM!

Left Door Knocker: Huh. Doesn't want his ring back in his mouth, eh? Can't say I blame him.

[Sarah holds the Right Door Knocker's nose so that he has to open his mouth; she stuffs the ring back in and knocks; the door opens]

Sarah: Sorry.

Right Door Knocker: [muffled] That's all right, I'm used to it.

Jareth: And Hoggle, if she ever kisses you, I'll turn you into a prince.

Hoggle: Y-you will?

Jareth: Prince of the Land of Stench!

[laughs]

Hoggle: What did you have to go and do a thing like that for?

Sarah: Do what? You mean rescue you?

Hoggle: No! You kissed me!

Fiery 1: Hey! Hey! Her head don't come off!

Sarah: Of course it doesn't!

Fiery 2: Hey, lady! Where are you going with a head like that?

Fiery 3: Hey, man! I know what we can do! Take off her head! Ha-ha!

Sarah: Once upon a time, there was a beautiful young girl whose stepmother always made her stay home with the baby. And the baby was a spoiled child, and wanted everything to himself, and the young girl was practically a slave. But what no one knew is that the king of the goblins had fallen in love with the the girl, and he had given her certain powers. So one night, when the baby had be particularly cruel to her, she called on the goblins for help!

Goblin: [inside the closet] Listen!

Sarah: "Say your right words," the goblins said, "and we'll take the baby to the castle, and you will be free!" But the girl knew, that the Goblin King would keep the baby in his castle for ever and ever and ever, and turn it into a goblin! And so the girl suffered in silence. Until one day, when she was tired from a day of housework, and she was hurt by the harsh words of her stepmother, and she could no longer stand it...

Sarah: I can bear it no longer! Goblin King! Goblin King! Wherever you may be take this child of mine far away from me!

Goblin, Goblin, Goblin, Goblin, Goblin, Goblin, Goblin: No!

Goblin: That's not it!

Goblin: Where'd she learn that rubbish? It doesn't even start with "I wish."

Hoggle: And you wouldn't be so brave if you'd ever smelled the Bog of Eternal Stench. It's, it's...

Sarah: Is that all it does, is smell?

Hoggle: Oh, believe me, that's enough! But the worst thing is, if you so much as set a foot in the Bog of Stench, you'll smell bad for the rest of your life. It'll never wash off.

Jareth: Ah, what have we here?

Hoggle: Oh, uh, nothin'.

Jareth: [removing his disguise at the last second] Nothing? Nothing? NOTHING? Nothing, tra la la?

Sarah: You're horrible!

Hoggle: No, I ain't. I'm Hoggle.

Jareth: I've brought you a gift.

Sarah: What is it?

Jareth: It's a crystal. Nothing more. But if you turn it this way and look into it, it will show you your dreams. But this is not a gift for an ordinary girl who takes care of a screaming baby.

Sarah: Ow! It bit me!

Hoggle: What'd you expect fairies to do?

Sarah: I thought they did nice things, like... like granting wishes.

Hoggle: Shows what *you* know, don't it?

Sarah: Okay, let's handle this thing logically. What exactly have you sworn?

Didymus: I have sworn with my life's blood, none shall pass this way without *my* permission!

Sarah: Well... May we have your permission?

Didymus: Well I, uh... I... that is, uh... hm... Yes?

Didymus: Sir Ludo, canst thou summon up the very rocks?

Ludo: Sure. Rocks friends.

Jareth: You remind me of the babe.

Goblin: What babe?

Jareth: The babe with the power.

Goblin: What power?

Jareth: The power of voodoo.

Goblin: Who do?

Jareth: You do.

Goblin: Do what?

Jareth: Remind me of the babe.

The Worm: 'Allo.

Sarah: Did you say... hello?

The Worm: No, I said "'allo," but that's close enough.

Sarah: Oh... you're a worm, aren't you?

The Worm: Yeah, that's right.

Sarah: You don't by any chance know the way through this labyrinth, do you?

The Worm: Who, me? No, I'm just a worm. Say, come inside, and meet the missus.

Hoggle: This is an oubliette, labyrinth's full of 'em.

Sarah: Really. I didn't know that.

Hoggle: Oh don't act so smart. You don't even know what an oubliette is.

Sarah: Do you?

Hoggle: Yes. It's a place you put people... to forget about 'em!

Sarah: Give me the child.

Jareth: Sarah, beware. I have been generous up 'til now. I can be cruel.

Sarah: Generous? What have you done that's generous?

Jareth: *Everything*! Everything that you wanted I have done. You asked that the child be taken. I took him. You cowered before me, I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for *you*! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations. Isn't that generous?

Guard: Well, the only way out of here is to try one of these doors!

Guard: One of them leads to the castle at the end of the labyrinth, and the other one leads to...

Guard: Ba-baba-BOOM!

Guard: Certain DEATH!

Guard: Ooooooooooooohhhhh!

Jareth: Higgle...

Hoggle: Hoggle!

Jareth: Yes, If I thought that for one second that you would betray me, I would be forced to suspend you, head first, in the Bog of Eternal Stench.

Hoggle: [falls to his knees] Oh no! Your Majesty, not the eternal stench!

Jareth: Oh, yes!

Jareth: Hello, Hedgewart.

Sarah: Hogwart.

Hoggle: Hog-gle!

Hoggle: You have to understand my position. I'm a coward. And Jareth scares me.

Sarah: What kind of a position is that?

Hoggle: No position! That's my point.

Sarah: That's not fair!

Jareth: You say that so often, I wonder what your basis for comparison is?

Sarah: You're him, aren't you? You're the Goblin King! I want my brother back, please, if it's all the same.

Jareth: What's said is said.

Sarah: But, I didn't mean it.

Jareth: Oh, you didn't?

Jareth: Turn back, Sarah. Turn back before it's too late.

Sarah: I can't. Don't you understand I can't?

Jareth: What a pity.

[Ludo and Didymus are fighting, Didymus climbs up Ludo's back]

Didymus: All right then! I can conquer this mountain!

[last lines]

Didymus: I say, does anyone want to play a game of Scrabble?

Hoggle: Them's my rightful property. It's not fair.

Sarah: No, it isn't. But that's the way it is.

[repeated line]

Sarah: It's not fair!

Sarah: Help! Stop it! Help!

Helping Hand: What do you mean "help"? We *are* helping.

Different Helping Hand: We're Helping Hands.

Sarah: You're hurting!

Helping Hand: Would you like us to let go? Heh-heh...

[They loosen their grip, Sarah starts to slide downward]

Sarah: No!

[They catch hold of her again]

Helping Hand: Well then, come on, which way?

Sarah: Which way?

Helping Hand: Up, or down?

Sarah: Oh...

Helping Hand: Come on, come on.

Different Helping Hand: We haven't got all day.

Different Helping Hand: Well, it's a big decision for her.

Different Helping Hand: Which way do you want to go, hm?

Sarah: Oh.

Helping Hand: Yes, which way?

Sarah: Well... since I'm pointed that way, I guess I'll go down.

Helping Hand: She chose DOOOOOWN!

Different Helping Hand: She chose *down*? Heh!

[they let go]

Sarah: Was that wrong?

Helping Hand: Too late now!

First Statue: Don't go on...

Second Statue: Go back, while you still can...

Third Statue: This is not the way...

Fourth Statue: Take heed, and go no further...

Fifth Statue: Beware, beware...

Sixth Statue: Soon it will be too late...

Hoggle: Ah, don't pay any attention to them, they're just false alarms. You get a lot of them in the Labyrinth, especially when you're on the right track.

Seventh Statue: Oh, no you're not!

Hoggle: Oh, shut up.

Seventh Statue: I'm sorry, I'm just doing my job.

Hoggle: Well, you don't have to do it to us.

Eighth Statue: [deep, booming voice] Beware, for...

Hoggle: Just forget it.

Eighth Statue: [normal voice] Oh, please. I haven't said it in such a long time.

Hoggle: Oh, all right. But don't expect a big reaction.

Eighth Statue: No, no, no, of course not.

Eighth Statue: [clears throat, deep, booming voice] For the path you will take will lead you to certain destruction!

[normal voice]

Eighth Statue: Thank you very much.

Didymus: [finally entering the castle] Well, come on then!

Sarah: No! I have to face him alone.

Didymus: But why?

Sarah: Because that's the way it's done!

Didymus: Well, if that is the way it is done, then that is the way you must do it. But, should you need us...

Hoggle: Yes, should you need us...

Sarah: I'll call.

Goblin Gunner: FIRE!

[He touches a match to the cannon, and a spiked ball fires. The heroes duck, and it smashes into a wall, sticking there]

Goblin Cannonball: I hit something! Yes? No?

Didymus: [facing the entire Goblin army] All right, charge!

[a cannon fires, and Ambrocious does a quick about-turn and flees]

Didymus: Whoa, not that way! You're going the wrong way! THE BATTLE'S BEHIND US!

Didymus: Ambrocious, unlock this door!

[a spear point taps him on the shoulder, and someone clears his throat. Didymus turns around, and sees a squad of mounted goblins pointing their spears at his chest]

Didymus: So, had enough, eh? All right then, throw down your weapons, and I'll see that you're well-treated.

Ludo: [in the mirror] Goodbye, Sarah.

Didymus: And remember, fair maiden, should you need us...

Hoggle: Yes, should you need us, for any reason at all...

Sarah: I need you, Hoggle.

Hoggle: You do?

Sarah: [nods] I don't know why, but every now and again in my life - for no reason at all - I need you. All of you.

Hoggle: You do? Well... WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?

[she spins around and sees them all in her room, including the goblins. She hugs them all, and a huge party begins]

The Junk Lady: What's the matter, my dear, don't you like your toys?

Sarah: [comes to her senses] It's all junk!

The Junk Lady: [picks up a music box] Well, what about this? This is not junk, eh?

Sarah: [smashes music box] Yes, it is!

[Sarah's room crumbles without her notice]

Sarah: I have to save Toby!

Sarah: [after eating the peach] Hoggle, what've you done?

Hoggle: [leaves in fear] Oh, damn you, Jareth. And damn me, too.

[Sarah is running away from the Fire Gang]

Fiery 1: Hey, lady! It's against the rules to throwing other people's heads!

Firey 2: Yo! You're only allowed to throw your own head!

Firey 5: Yeah, that's right!

Jareth: [the Owl flies away] You remind me of the babe.

Goblin: What babe?

Jareth: The babe with the power.

Goblin: What power?

Jareth: The power of voodoo.

Goblin: Who do?

Jareth: You do.

Goblin: Do what?

Jareth: Remind me of the babe...

[End titles]

Jareth: Daddy, daddy, get me out of here. Heard about a place to stay. I, I'm underground. Nothing ever hurts again. Heard about a place to stay. Daddy, get me out of here. Where nothing ever hurts again. Daddy, daddy, get me out of here. I, I'm underground. Sister, sister, please take me down. I, I'm underground. Daddy, daddy, get me out of here. No one can blame you for walking away. Too much rejection. No love injection. Life can't be easy. It's not always swell. Don't tell me truth hurts, little girl, 'cause it hurts like hell, but down in the underground you'll find someone true.Down in the underground; a land serene; a crystal moon. Ah... It's only forever. Not long at all. Lost and lonely. That's underground. Underground. Daddy, daddy, get me out of here. Heard about a place to stay. I, I'm underground. Nothing ever hurts again. Heard about a place to stay. Daddy, get me out of here where nothing ever hurts again. Daddy, daddy, get me out of here. I, I'm underground. Sister, sister, please take me down. I, I'm underground. Daddy, daddy, get me out of here. It's only... It's only forever. It's not long at all. Lost and lonely. That's underground. Underground. Daddy, daddy, get me out of here. Heard about a place to stay. Nothing never hurts again. Daddy, daddy, get me out of here. I'm, I'm underground. Sister, sister, please take me down. I'm, I'm underground. Daddy, daddy, get me out. Wanna live underground. Wanna live underground. Wanna live underground. Wanna live underground. Wanna live underground...

The Wiseman: Quite often, young lady, it seems like we're not getting anywhere, when in fact...

The Hat: We are!

The Wiseman: ...we are.

Jareth: She's in the oubliette.

[goblins laugh]

Jareth: Shut up! She should not have gotten as far as the oubliette; she should've given up by now.

Goblin: She'll never give up.

Jareth: Will she? The dwarf's about to lead her back to the beginning. She'll soon give up when she realizes she has to start all over again. Ha ha ha... well? laugh!

[goblins laugh]

Sarah: [seeing a Goblin aiming his cannon at her] Whoa, Nellie, duck!

[the Goblin fires]

Hoggle: [laughs] Missed!

Sarah: Would he tell me that this door leads to the castle?

Guard: [Whispers with his counterparts] Yes?

Sarah: So... the other door leads to the castle and this one leads to certain death.

Guard: [All the guards Oooh] But he could be telling the truth!

Sarah: But then you wouldn't be. So if he told me that this door leads to the castle, the answer you should give me would be 'No'

Guard: But I could be telling the truth!

Sarah: But then he would be lying. So then if he said this door led to the castle, I'd know the answer would still be 'No'

Guard: Is-is that right?

Guard: [snickers] I don't know! I've never understood it!

Sarah: No, no, I figured it out!

[Pushes the other door open revealing the castle's interior]

Sarah: I could never do it before! This is a piece of cake!

[Steps through the door and falls into a trap]

Sarah: AHH!

Guard: Your Highness! Your Highness! Your Highness, the girl! The girl who ate the peach and forgot everything!

Jareth: What of her?

Guard: She, the monster, Sir Didymus, and the dwarf, they made it through the gate and they're on their way to the castle!

Jareth: What? Stop her! Call out the guards!

[to goblin]

Jareth: Take the baby and hide it.

Goblin: Guards!

Jareth: She must be stopped! Do something! Come on, move! Move!

Sarah: Through dangers untold. And hardships unnumbered. I have fought my way here to the castle; beyond the goblin city, to take back the child that you have stolen. My will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom as great...

Jareth: Stop! Look what I'm offering you. Your dreams.

Sarah: My kingdom as great... my kingdom as great... damn, I can never remember that line.

Jareth: I ask for so little. Just fear me. Love me. Do as I ask, and I shall be your slave.

Sarah: You have no power over me!

[echoes]

Sarah: [the clock chimes 13:00 at that moment. Defeated, Jareth sends Sarah and Toby back to the real world where the clock finishes chiming midnight]

Hoggle: [they need to get out of the dungeon] Ah, this is what we need. A ladder. Follow me.

Sarah: How can I trust you now that you know you were taking me back to the beginning of the labyrinth?

Hoggle: [starts climbing, grunts] I wasn't. I told him I was taking you back to the beginning just to throw him off the scent.

Sarah: [looking up at him as he climbs] Hoggle, how can I believe anything you say?

Hoggle: Well,

[grunts]

Hoggle: let me put it this way. What choice have you got?

[grunts]

Sarah: You're right.

[follows him up the ladder]

Sarah: I wish I did know what to say to make the goblins come and take you away.

Goblin: I wish the goblins would come and take you away right now. That's not hard is it?

Sarah: I'm certainly not getting anywhere at the moment.

The Hat: Ha! Join the club.

Didymus: Have no fear, sweet lady. This bridge has lasted for a thousand years.

[bridge collapses]

Didymus: It seemed solid enough.