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Ransom Drysdale: That's some heavy-duty conjecture.
Walt Thrombey: Funny, Ransom, you skipped the funeral, but you're early for the will reading.
Ransom Drysdale: [pointing] Up your ass.
Meg Thrombey: [angrily] Oh, very nice!
Ransom Drysdale: [pointing to each family member as they shout at him] Matter of fact, eat shit. How's that?
Ransom Drysdale: [as the family are all shouting at him] Eat shit, eat shit, eat shit... *definitely* eat shit...
Ransom Drysdale: I got to do this more often.
-
Benoit Blanc: Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to request that you all stay until the investigation is completed.
Linda Drysdale: What?
Joni Thrombey: Can we ask why? Has something changed?
Benoit Blanc: No...
Joni Thrombey: No, it hasn't changed, or no, we can't ask?
-
Benoit Blanc: This is a twisted web, and we are not finished untangling it, not yet.
Ransom Drysdale: What is this, CSI: KFC?
-
Benoit Blanc: I suspect foul play. I have eliminated no suspects.
-
Ransom Drysdale: [quoting Linda's line when he revealed he was disinherited, to the family now they've learned they all are] This might be the best thing that has ever happened to you. My mother, ladies and gentlemen.
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Greatnana Wanetta: [Sees Marta] Ransom? Are you back again?
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Benoit Blanc: You have a regurgitative reaction to mistruths.
-
Benoit Blanc: It's a weird case from the start. A case with a hole in the center. A doughnut.
-
Linda Drysdale: We are the Thrombeys, goddamnit! This is still our house!
-
Benoit Blanc: I spoke in the car about the hole at the center of this doughnut. And yes, what you and Harlan did that fateful night seems at first glance to fill that hole perfectly. A doughnut hole in the doughnut's hole. But we must look a little closer. And when we do, we see that the doughnut hole has a hole in its center - it is not a doughnut hole at all but a smaller doughnut with its own hole, and our doughnut is not whole at all!
-
Marta Cabrera: What was that about will readings being boring?
Benoit Blanc: The exception that proves the rule.
-
Benoit Blanc: The game is afoot. Eh, Watson?
-
Lieutenant Elliott: That... was the dumbest car chase of all time.
-
Marta Cabrera: You're not much of a detective, are you?
Benoit Blanc: Well, to be fair, you make a pretty lousy murderer.
-
Linda Drysdale: [to Marta] Were you boinking my father?
-
Benoit Blanc: Physical evidence can tell a clear story with a forked tongue.
-
Harlan Thrombey: Close the book with a flourish.
-
Benoit Blanc: [of the novel Gravity's Rainbow] It describes the path of a projectile determined by natural law. Et voila, my method. I observe the facts without biases of the head or heart. I determine the arc's path, stroll leisurely to its terminus and the truth falls at my feet.
-
Benoit Blanc: Best judge of character is a dog. I've found that to be true.
-
Benoit Blanc: Why is grief the providence of youth? I don't know. But I'd imagine that age deepens all feelings.
-
Benoit Blanc: But the complexity and the gray lie not in the truth but what you do with the truth once you have it.
-
Benoit Blanc: What's the cheese?
-
Benoit Blanc: Harlan's detectives, they dig, they rifle and root. Truffle pigs. I anticipate the terminus of Gravity's Rainbow.
Marta Cabrera: Gravity's Rainbow.
Benoit Blanc: It's a novel.
Marta Cabrera: Yeah, I know. I haven't read it though.
Benoit Blanc: Neither have I. Nobody has. But I like the title. It describes the path of a projectile determined by natural law.
-
Harlan Thrombey: [Talking to his caretaker, Marta Cabrera, about his grandson, Ransom Drysdale] There's so much of *me* in that kid. Confident. Stupid. I don't know... protected. Playing life like a game without consequences.
[Grabs a knife out of a nearby display stand]
Harlan Thrombey: Until you can't tell the difference
[pauses and takes the knife out of its sheath]
Harlan Thrombey: between a stage prop... and a real knife.
[Stabs the table in front of him with the knife blade; the knife remains upright]
-
Other Woman: Knives out, thighs out
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Linda Drysdale: [questioned about Walt] If you think I'm dumb enough to shit-talk my little brother in front of a police detective and a state trooper...
Richard Drysdale: [cut to Richard being questioned] Walt doesn't run shit!
-
[Marta and Harlan are playing "Go"]
Harlan Thrombey: I don't know how you beat me at this every time.
Marta Cabrera: I'm not trying to beat you. I'm creating a beautiful pattern.
Harlan Thrombey: That's elder abuse. I'm calling the AARP.
Marta Cabrera: Don't make me get the belt, Abuelo.
-
Benoit Blanc: [to Marta] I want you to know that you didn't win the game by playing it Harlan's way, you won it by playing it your way. Because you have a good heart.
-
[last lines]
Marta Cabrera: This family, I should care for them. Right?
Benoit Blanc: Well, I have my own opinions. But I think you should follow your heart.
-
Richard Drysdale: Who is this prick?
-
Marta Cabrera: I've never been to a will reading before.
Benoit Blanc: You'd think it'd be like a game show, but think of a community theatre production of a tax return.
-
Joni Thrombey: I read a tweet about a New Yorker article about you
-
Walt Thrombey: I am not eating one iota of shit!
-
Linda Drysdale: Were you boinking my father?
Meg Thrombey: Boinking?
Jacob Thrombey: You had sex with my grandfather you dirty anchor baby!
-
Benoit Blanc: What were the words overheard by the Nazi child masturbatin' in the bathroom?
-
Ransom Drysdale: You go, Baby Driver.
Marta Cabrera: Do you regret helping me yet?
Ransom Drysdale: I regret not taking the Beemer.
-
Marta Cabrera: [On the phone] Hello, Walt.
Walt Thrombey: Hello Marta, it's Walt.
-
Lieutenant Elliott: I'm sorry this is an open and shut case of suicide and quite frankly Benny we are getting to the point where I have to ask you what we're doing here.
Benoit Blanc: The method? Throat slit? Typical for a suicide?
Lieutenant Elliott: Yes, I mean, that's dramatic, but look around. I mean, the guy practical lives in a Clue board.
-
Joni Thrombey: Wait, I read a tweet about a New Yorker article about you. "The Last of the Gentleman Sleuths". You solved that case with the tennis champ! You're famous!
-
Trooper Wagner: We're sorry for your loss.
Linda Drysdale: Thank you. That means a lot.
Lieutenant Elliott: So we understand that night the family had gathered to celebrate your father's 85th birthday.
Linda Drysdale: Yes.
Lieutenant Elliott: How was it?
Linda Drysdale: The party? Pre dad's death? Oh, it was great.
-
Walt Thrombey: [Being questioned] My son Jacob, he's 16, very politically active.
Richard Drysdale: [Cut to Richard being questioned] The boy is literally a Nazi.
Meg Thrombey: [Cut to Meg being questioned] He's an alt-right dipstick troll.
Walt Thrombey: [Cut to Walt being questioned] Kids today, with the internet, it's amazing.
-
Ransom Drysdale: [to Marta] I'm going to say this just to you. No cameras, no courthouse, because you know it's true. We allowed you into our home, let you watch our grand dad, welcome you into our family. And now you think you can steal it from us. You think I'm not going to fight to protect my own, our birthright, our ancestral home...
Benoit Blanc: [laughing] That is hooey! Harlan, he bought this place in the 80's from a Pakistani real estate millionaire... .
Ransom Drysdale: Oh shut up! Shut up! Shut up with that Kentucky fried Foghorn Leghorn drawl!
-
Joni Thrombey: You don't like him cause you love him.
Richard Drysdale: No, I don't like him, he's an asshole but maybe an asshole is what we needed.
Joni Thrombey: Oh, God, yeah, and an asshole is what Germany needed in nineteen thirty whatever.
-
Benoit Blanc: Sweet beans! God morning, Mrs. Thrombey.
-
Walt Thrombey: [to Ransom, shouting] How about some more cookies, Hugh? You want some more cookies? Hey, maybe Harlan left you a cold glass of milk in his will, asshole!
-
Walt Thrombey: [shouting to Geatnana Wanetta] Do you want dinner Nana? Dinner? To eat? Nana?
Linda Drysdale: Walt, she's fine. She ate the entire salmon spread already.
-
Benoit Blanc: You won, not by playing the game Harlan's way, but yours. You're a good person.
-
Marta Cabrera: You've always been good to me. And what I'm about to say isn't going to be easy and you're going to be upset. But I thought after what you've gone through the last few days you deserve to hear it from me.
Benoit Blanc: Excuse me. You have not been good to her. You have all treated her like *beep*. To steal back a fortune you lost and she deserves. You're a pack of vultures, knives out and beaks bloody. Well, you're not getting bailed out, not this time. Ms. Cabrera has decided, definitively, not to renounce the inheritance.
Walt Thrombey: What?
Marta Cabrera: What?
Benoit Blanc: Furthermore, it will be my professional recommendation to local authorities that the manner of death in the case of Harlan Thrombey be ruled a suicide. Now the case is closed.
Marta Cabrera: Blanc.
Ransom Drysdale: What?
Benoit Blanc: Thank you all for coming. Good bye.
Walt Thrombey: That's certainly not what I was expecting. Not what I was expecting at all.
Greatnana Wanetta: Heh heh heh heh heh.
-
Walt Thrombey: I don't know what any of that means.
Richard Drysdale: It means your son is a little creep.
Walt Thrombey: Oh, my son's a creep.
Joni Thrombey: Guys. Walt, he was in the bathroom.
Richard Drysdale: Joylessly masturbating to pictures of dead deer.
Walt Thrombey: You know what Richard, you want to go?
Richard Drysdale: You bet Skippy, let's go!
Ransom Drysdale: I've got to do this more often.
-
Walt Thrombey: Jacob was in that bathroom the night of the party.
Joni Thrombey: Oh, so that's where you were all night.
Richard Drysdale: What the hell were you doing in the bathroom all night?
Jacob Thrombey: Nothing.
Meg Thrombey: Swatting Syrian refugees.
Jacob Thrombey: I was not.
Meg Thrombey: Alt-right troll.
Jacob Thrombey: Liberal snowflake.
-
Lieutenant Elliott: Who hired you?
Benoit Blanc: I do not know. An envelope of cash arrived at my apartment yesterday with a newspaper clipping of Thrombey's death.
Trooper Wagner: An envelope? That worked?
Benoit Blanc: An envelope of cash. Someone suspects foul play and goes through this hacha dance of hiring me and staying anonymous. It makes no damn sense. It compels me though
-
Ransom Drysdale: [Driving away with Marta] I think this could be the best thing to happen to *all* of you!
Richard Drysdale: [With the rest of the family] What does he mean by that?
-
Walt Thrombey: Marta, is it your intention to rennounce the inheritance?
Marta Cabrera: [Marta shrugs] This is what Harlan wanted.
Walt Thrombey: Yeah, but... Harlan put you in a very hard position here. I mean, it was unfair of him. I, I mean you see the kind of press and scrutiny that this kicks up, and you
[hesitating]
Walt Thrombey: and you know with your mother.
Marta Cabrera: My mother?
Walt Thrombey: Yeah.
Marta Cabrera: What did Meg tell you?
Walt Thrombey: Oh this isn't about... you're missing the point. We don't want to attack you in this, but Marta, if your mother came into the country illegally, criminally and you come into this inheritance with all of this scrutiny that entails, I'd be afraid that could come to light and that's what we want to avoid here. We can protect you from that happening or if it happens.
Marta Cabrera: So your saying that even if it came to light, with the family's resources you could help me fix it?
Walt Thrombey: Yeah, yeah, with the right lawyers, you know, not these local guys, but New York lawyers. D.C. lawyers, with enough resources put towards it, yes. Not that that ever even needs to come up, but, yes.
Marta Cabrera: Okay good.
Walt Thrombey: Okay.
Marta Cabrera: 'cause Harlan gave me all your resouces so that means with my resources I will be able to fix it so I guess I will find the right lawers.
Walt Thrombey: Er, Marta, that's not...
[Marta slams the door on Walt]
Walt Thrombey: ...you'd better be sure that's what you want.
-
Joni Thrombey: They're putting kids in cages!
Richard Drysdale: I'm not saying that's not terrible, but the parents share some of that blame.
Joni Thrombey: Why? For wanting a better future for their kids? Isn't that what America's...
Richard Drysdale: [banging his fork against his plate as he speaks] For *breaking* *the* *law*!
-
Benoit Blanc: I feel a noose tightening. The family is truly desperate. Desperate motives, with the mystery of who hired me, the impossibility of the crime, and yet a doughnut. One central piece, and if it reveals itself, the fog would lift, the arc would resolve, the Slinky become unkinked.
-
Alan Stevens: [Opens Harlan's Will] Wow this will be quick.
[reads will]
Alan Stevens: I, Harlon Thronby, being of sound mind and body, yada-yada-yada. I hearby direct all my assets both liquid and otherwise, I leave in its entirety to Marta Cabrera. My entire ownership of Blood like Wine Publishing company I leave to Marta Cabrera and the copyright of it's catalog I leave in its entirety to Marta Cabrera.
-
Ransom Drysdale: Hey Franny how about a glass of cold milk.
Meg Thrombey: Hey asshole not her name not her job!
Ransom Drysdale: Hey Meg how's the SJW degree coming?
Meg Thrombey: Trust fund prick.
-
Walt Thrombey: Jacob was in that bathroom the night of the party.
Joni Thrombey: So that's where you were.
Richard Drysdale: What the hell were you doing in the bathroom all night?
Jacob Thrombey: Nothing.
Meg Thrombey: Swatting Syrian refugees?
Jacob Thrombey: No I was not!
Meg Thrombey: Alt-Right troll!
Jacob Thrombey: Liberal snowflake.
Knives Out Quotes
Extended Reading
