Killer Joe Quotes

Dottie Smith: I heard y'all talking about killing mama. I think it's a good idea.

Chris Smith: Well, there you go.

Killer Joe Cooper: Tuna casserole! May I serve?

Dottie Smith: How are you gonna kill my mama?

Killer Joe Cooper: That's not appropriate dinner conversation, Dottie.

Dottie Smith: Unless you poison her.

Killer Joe Cooper: We never discussed the possibility of a retainer.

Chris Smith: What do you mean? Hey, man, you talking about my sister?

Killer Joe Cooper: Is that who she is?

Killer Joe Cooper: My payment is 25 thousand dollars, in cash, in advance. No exceptions.

Ansel Smith: 25?

Killer Joe Cooper: Yes sir.

Ansel Smith: [to Chris] I thought you said 20.

Chris Smith: I was told 20.

Killer Joe Cooper: 25. Is that a problem?

Chris Smith: We don't have a problem with 25. That's not our problem.

Killer Joe Cooper: What is your problem?

Chris Smith: We have a problem with the advance.

Killer Joe Cooper: No exceptions.

Chris Smith: Sir, let me explain. One of the reasons we're interested in having this done, is my mother holds a very large insurance policy.

Killer Joe Cooper: They usually do.

Chris Smith: We thought if we could guarantee payment after the policy had been covered...

Killer Joe Cooper: Look, this really isn't open for discussion. The conversation is finished.

[Chris goes after him as he leaves]

Killer Joe Cooper: What did you think this is, Let's Make a Deal? This is serious business you're fucking with here, boy.

Chris Smith: I'm aware of that.

Killer Joe Cooper: No, I don't think you are. I don't take you seriously.

Chris Smith: This is going to get done, one way or another.

Killer Joe Cooper: You want me off the job? Just say the word.

Chris Smith: When are you planning on doing it?

Killer Joe Cooper: Tonight.

Chris Smith: Really? So you'd be leaving tomorrow, then?

Killer Joe Cooper: No, no. The retainer is for the money. I'm not leaving until I get my money.

Chris Smith: I don't like that.

Killer Joe Cooper: Well, I don't care.

Chris Smith: I don't want you near my sister.

Killer Joe Cooper: I don't care.

Chris Smith: And if I tell you the deal's off?

Killer Joe Cooper: I'll leave right now, and you'll never see me again. Your call.

Killer Joe Cooper: That poor, miserable bastard set his own genitals on fire just to teach his girlfriend a lesson. I guess he showed her. I wonder if she ever got over it.

Dottie Smith: Was he all right?

Killer Joe Cooper: No. No, he was not all right. He set his genitals on fire.

Dottie Smith: Are you gonna kill my mama?

Killer Joe Cooper: I don't know. Why?

Dottie Smith: Just curious.

Killer Joe Cooper: I mean all she did was suck his cock and try and steal your money. It could have been worse.

Ansel Smith: How?

Killer Joe Cooper: Well... no, I suppose that's about as bad as it gets.

[Joe just broke Sharla's nose and forced her to give fellatio to a chicken drumstick]

Ansel Smith: Sharla?

Sharla Smith: Yes.

Ansel Smith: Are you okay?

Sharla Smith: Yes, I'm fine Ansel.

Ansel Smith: Are you sure?

Sharla Smith: Yes I'm sure.

Ansel Smith: Okay.

Killer Joe Cooper: Were you aware of this, Ansel?

Ansel Smith: I'm never aware.

Dottie Smith: Your eyes hurt.

Killer Joe Cooper: I beg your pardon?

Sharla Smith: You want some chicken? I stopped by the K-Fry-C.

Killer Joe Cooper: Yes, please.

Sharla Smith: Help yourself. It's on the stove.

Ansel Smith: Get it for him, would you hun?

Sharla Smith: Sure. White or dark?

Killer Joe Cooper: Leg.

Chris Smith: Hi Digger.

Digger Soames: How ya been, boy?

Chris Smith: Pretty good, how about yourself?

Digger Soames: Oh, fair to middling. Blood pressure.

Chris Smith: You taking medicine?

Digger Soames: Yeah, all that. No salt, low stress. Course, Amy keeps making that fried chicken. You know I can't resist it.

Chris Smith: How is Amy?

Digger Soames: Well, she's all busted up right at the moment. You remember Dumpling, that old bluetick we had?

Chris Smith: Yeah, sure, Dumpling.

Digger Soames: Yeah, well, we had to put him to sleep yesterday morning.

Chris Smith: Oh, no.

Digger Soames: Yup. Well, you missed yourself a hell of a party a couple of weeks ago.

Chris Smith: Sorry I missed your birthday.

Digger Soames: Well, I'm glad you missed my birthday. I just wish you hadn't missed the party. How many people we have out there at the place, G-Man?

G-Man: A couple hundred.

Digger Soames: Oh, hell, it wasn't that many.

G-Man: 150 anyway.

Digger Soames: No shit.

Chris Smith: Sorry I missed it.

Digger Soames: Yeah, good old party. Lots of barbeque. Hey, G-Man here, he played the accordion. Hey, wasn't that gal out there? The one that's always sniffing around Chris's shit here. What the hell's her name? The one with the great big caboose on her.

Chris Smith: Arlene?

Digger Soames: Yeah, Arlene! You'd better look out for her, boy. She may be too much woman for you.

Chris Smith: Well, she'd better stay away from the barbeque or she'll be too much woman to fit through the door.

Digger Soames: Haha! Damn, you make me laugh. Hey, listen, I'm just gonna have the boys here kick the shit out of you. You'd better pay me my money in a couple of days or I'm gonna wrap you up in electrician tape and bury you in a coffin about 10 feet deep. Huh? I'll tell Amy you asked about her. That'll make her smile.

G-Man: [G-man and Biker Thug advance towards Chris] He really likes you.

Chris Smith: Open the door!

Sharla Smith: [answers door, naked] What?

Chris Smith: Jesus, put some clothes on! The whole neighborhood can see. Why would you answer the door like that?

Sharla Smith: I didn't know it was you.

Killer Joe Cooper: You know I'll kill you.

Chris Smith: Go fuck yourself.

[Sharla is spraying herself with perfume]

Ansel Smith: When you're done fumigating the gates of hell...

Chris Smith: Put some pants on. I need to talk to you about something.

Ansel Smith: I need pants for that?

[Dottie is holding up her dress]

Killer Joe Cooper: Why wouldn't you wear that for me?

Dottie Smith: It's not me.

Killer Joe Cooper: Not when you're not in it.

Killer Joe Cooper: Put it on.

Dottie Smith: Alright.

[turns away]

Killer Joe Cooper: Where are you going?

Dottie Smith: I was going to put on the dress.

Killer Joe Cooper: I said put it on.

Dottie Smith: I was.

Killer Joe Cooper: Here... I wanna see you put it on.

[after Chris got beat up]

Ansel Smith: What'd they say to you?

Chris Smith: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK THEY SAID?

Ansel Smith: I'm thinkin' they want their money.

Chris Smith: NO SHIT!

Sharla Smith: You son of a bitch...

Killer Joe Cooper: [grabs her by the neck] No need for name calling. I haven't called you any names. I am a guest here. You be polite.

[repeated line]

Ansel Smith: What fat kid?

Killer Joe Cooper: Dottie, do you trust me?

Dottie Smith: Not quite.

Killer Joe Cooper: Good.

Dottie Smith: Do you feel bad?

Chris Smith: Yeah. I feel like I'm not supposed to be on earth or something.

Chris Smith: [about escaping to Peru] We can do this. We can make this work.

Dottie Smith: Not if somebody makes me mad.

Chris Smith: Can you try making a little more noise?

Ansel Smith: Why don't you try kissing my ass, you son of a bitch?

Killer Joe Cooper: You said that you never cared for Chris.

Sharla Smith: I haven't, I don't.

Killer Joe Cooper: And you also said that Rex is an idiot.

Sharla Smith: Yeah. Right.

Killer Joe Cooper: And you also said that the cheque was for a hundred.

Sharla Smith: [stressed] Or however much!

Killer Joe Cooper: [on Dottie] She's my retainer.

Chris Smith: Deal's off. You're gonna have to eat this one.