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Telly: When you're young, not much matters. When you find something that you care about, then that's all you got. When you go to sleep at night you dream of pussy. When you wake up it's the same thing. It's there in your face. You can't escape it. Sometimes when you're young the only place to go is inside. That's just it - fucking is what I love. Take that away from me and I really got nothing.
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The Taxi Driver: You look like the prom queen. I dated the prom queen when I was your age. She was the first girl I stuck my tongue in.
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Club Kid: Don't you know tricks are for kids?
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Telly: But like, if you deflower a girl man, man, you're the man. No one can ever do that again. You're the only one. No one, no one, has the power to do that again.
Casper: Right. The way I see it. My outlook on the situation. It's like getting fame, you know what I'm saying? Say you was to die tomorrow right, fifty years from now all the virgins you ever fucked are gonna remember you. Right? They gonna tell their grandkids about that shit.
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Jennie: I'm not gonna die.
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Jennie: What if you can't make yourself happy?
The Taxi Driver: Then I don't know. You know what you do then you forget, you block it out... If you want to be happy don't think... if you stutter don't talk.
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Telly: Condoms don't work. They either break, or they slip off, or they make your dick shrink. Nah, but you still gotta use em, yo. At least I did once.
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Telly: Virgins. I love 'em. No diseases, no loose as a goose pussy, no skank. No nothin. Just pure pleasure.
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Kim: So this is your new girl, huh?
Telly: I hope so. For now.
Kim: You like 'em kinda young, right? Babies?
Telly: I like 'em new. Not like you.
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[singing, drunk in a bathtub]
Casper: I'm Casper, the friendly ghost / The DOPEST ghost in town / All the bitches love me 'cause I'm fuckin' CASPER / The DOPEST ghost around.
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Telly: I think if we fuck, you would love it!
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Casper: How did she smell? Did her puss stink?
Telly: Take a whiff.
[Telly holds up his fingers and Casper smells them]
Casper: Mmmmm. Butterscotch, yo. That's the best.
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Casper: [last words] Jesus Christ, what happened?
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Jennie's Nurse: Jennie, you've tested positive for the HIV virus.
Jennie: What?
Jennie's Nurse: The test isn't one hundred percent accurate. You should...
Jennie: I tested positive?
Jennie's Nurse: I'm sorry.
Jennie: But I only had sex with Telly.
[the nurse is silent]
Jennie: I just got tested to keep Ruby company.
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Legless Man: I have no legs. I have no legs. I have no legs. I have no legs. God bless you. I have no legs...
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Casper: Now get in my way, BITCH!
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Casper: That girl was 12, you hit that shit up?
Telly: Who am I? I'm the motha-fuckin virgin surgeon.
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Telly: You got any money?
Casper: Three pennies and a ball o' lint, kiiiddd.
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Telly: I'm askin' you one last time. Do you got "dis-tick"?
Deli Owner: What are you saying, "dis-tick"?
Casper: He said this dick, motherfucker!
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Telly: You happen to have dis dig?
Deli Owner: Wha?
Telly: This dig. I'm curious. Do you have it?
Deli Owner: What is dis dig?
Telly: Dis dig.
Deli Owner: What do you say?
Telly: This dig. I'm curious. Do you have it?
Deli Owner: Wha?
Telly: Dis dig man. Dis dig, dis dig...
Deli Owner: I don't understand... I don't understand you... uhhh.
Telly: OK... one last time. Do you have dis dig?
Deli Owner: What you say... dis dig?
Casper: He said THIS DICK mutha fucka! Don't you understand english?
Korean Guy: Stupy fucky boys. Fucky.
Kids Quotes
Extended Reading
