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John Constantine: I expect the worst, so I prepare for the worst, and when the worst happens, I'm ready. But my outlook doesn't alter the reality of the world.
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[first lines]
Business Woman: [on phone and her car is rear-ended] Well, just great! No, not the presentation. That's terrible. Some idiot just hit me.
-
John Constantine: Bollocks! In what bloody plane of existence does four of a kind lose?
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Jason Blood: John Constantine, the man who perfected the bad idea.
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Black Orchid: Powerful in true magic. Angry at John. This, I understand. Yet, you still have feelings for him.
Zatanna: I could kill him.
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Black Orchid: You exude pain. Your life is a patchwork of blackness with no time for joy. How do you cope with it?
Batman: I have a butler.
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John Constantine: Point is, even deities can get it wrong. It's how we got the appendix, Neanderthals and Reality TV.
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Batman: [to Constantine and Zatanna who are arguing] He's dead and I accept the risks. So, can we get to it, or do you two need a timeout?
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John Constantine: Jason's not the murdery type. He's chock full of honor, loyalty, and rubbish of that sort.
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Jason Blood: [to Constantine] Someone else dislikes you? Shocking.
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John Constantine: [to Destiny] Is that a sword in your chest, or are you just glad to see me?
Jason Blood: Merlin sends his regards. And by the way, you lose.
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[last lines]
John Constantine: [as Black Orchid hands Constantine and Zatanna a pint of brew] Now, that's what I call making yourself useful, love.
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Batman: The League had a run-in with Faust, but his location isn't in our database.
John Constantine: Yeah, well, wizards don't make a habit of signing up for credits cards or social media.
-
Batman: The criminally insane don't need magic as an excuse. I recommend spending more time on the streets instead of flying over them.
[Leaves]
Green Lantern: Hmm. He's even friendlier than they say.
-
Batman: I hope those elephants survived. You don't want PETA on your back.
Zatanna: You're assuming they were real in the first place. How are you, Bruce?
Batman: I'm fine, Zatanna. Busy. You know where I can find John Constantine?
Zatanna: No.
Batman: You must have some idea.
Zatanna: We don't keep in touch.
-
Ritchie Simpson: Still wondering what Batman's doing in my living room. And when is he gonna shut up, right?
[laughs]
-
[eulogy for Jason Blood]
Etrigan: For 500 years, he and I have been bound / A demon from Hell, a knight of renown / Though we were cursed to be slaves to each other / I know of no man I'd want more for a brother. Farewell, mortal.
-
Etrigan: So Constantine calls once more / Just like a greedy wanton...
John Constantine: Save the bloody rhymes, and stop that git!
Etrigan: Killjoy.
-
John Constantine: AGH! This is the monkey cage in Sumatra all over again! "Ooh, we need to save the monkeys", she said!
Zatanna: You are such an ass!
Justice League Dark Quotes
Extended Reading
