Jungle Cruise Quotes

Lily Houghton: My name is Dr. Lily Houghton. My brother and I are looking for passage upriver. Legend has it that there is a tree that possesses unparalleled healing power. It will change medicine forever.

McGregor Houghton: [to Frank; about Lily] She was always chasing after some far-fetched idea. There's no such things as curses.

Frank Wolff: Hey, McGregor! Had a girlfriend once, she was cross-eyed. Didn't work out. We could never see eye to eye!

Frank Wolff: If you believe in legends, you should believe in curses too.

Aguirre: This is WORSE than death! This is torture!

Prince Joachim: [about to be crushed to death by a falling piece of a building] Scheisse!

McGregor Houghton: You think you're the first to eject me? I have been turned out of some of the best clubs in Europe!

Frank Wolff: Know this about the jungle: everything that you see wants to kill you. And can.

Lily Houghton: It's only a scam if you fall for it.

Frank Wolff: If you're lucky enough to have one person in this life to care about, then that's world enough for me.

Frank Wolff: I get paid by the number of people I take out, not by the number of people I bring back.

Frank Wolff: First of all, let me congratulate you on your excellent choice of skipper. Of all the jungle cruises you could take in the Amazon, this one is undoubtedly the cheapest. But also the most thrilling.

McGregor Houghton: [to Lily] Breaking and entering, grand larceny, and worst of all, forced to take public transport. Should I be concerned about you?

Lily Houghton: I don't have to know someone to care.

Lily Houghton: "We" is an interesting word, Frank, because it sort of implies a bond of trust and honesty. Neither of which you know anything about, because you are a liar, Frank. You are selfish, you are arrogant, and I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw you, which clearly isn't very far, because you are huge.

Frank Wolff: [to Lily] You believe in legends, you should believe in curses, too.

Frank Wolff: [to MacGregor] Tell Lily she would've been world enough for me.

McGregor Houghton: If I wanted to go to a stinking backwater where I can't understand what anyone says, I would visit our relatives in Scotland!

Frank Wolff: If you look to the left of the boat, you'll see some very playful toucans. They're playing their favorite game of beak-wrestling. The only drawback is, only two can play.

Frank Wolff: The rocks you see here in the river are sandstone. But some people just take them for granite. It's one of my boulder attractions.

Frank Wolff: You know, before this, I used to work in an orange juice factory, but I got canned.

Frank Wolff: You know, they say the boa constrictor right there is capable of eating up to 500 pounds per sitting. Personally, I find that very hard... to swallow.

Frank Wolff: Well, folks, you were all outstanding today, now I need you all out, standing on the dock. That means "get off my boat." I'm only serious.

Frank Wolff: Ma'am, don't forget to collect your baggage. I'm only kidding. He's behind you.

Frank Wolff: No, the bath is out there. That's the bath. 4,300 miles of luxurious bath. I also warmed it a little bit for you earlier.

McGregor Houghton: [after being saved by the leopard] Good Murder Cat!