Jumanji Quotes

Sarah Whittle: Alan, please, last time I played this game, it ruined my life.

Alan Parrish: [laughs] It ruined your life? "In the jungle, you must wait 'til the dice read five or eight."

Sarah Whittle: I was a little girl, Alan. You disappeared, and a bunch of bats surrounded me and chased me down the street. I was afraid. I'm sorry, Alan. No one believed me. I was all alone.

Alan Parrish: So was I. For 26 years, Sarah.

Judy Shepherd: What happened to you? You shave with a piece of glass?

Alan Parrish: What happened to you? The Clampetts have a yard sale? What do you want? I never shaved before.

Judy Shepherd: [reads] "Don't be fooled, it isn't thunder / Staying put would be a blunder."

Alan Parrish: Run! IT'S A STAMPEDE!

Young Sarah: [reads] "At night they fly, you better run / These winged things are not much fun."

[Sarah and Alan look at each other in confusion until they hear bats echoing in the fireplace]

Young Sarah: What was that?

Alan Parrish, 1969: I - I don't know.

Young Sarah: [fearfully] Put it away, Alan!

Sarah Whittle: Alan, you wrestled an alligator for me.

Alan Parrish: It was a crocodile. Alligators don't have that little fringe on their hind leg.

Sarah Whittle: My mistake.

Peter Shepherd: [in horror] Judy!

Judy Shepherd: What?

Sarah Whittle: What happened?

Peter Shepherd: I thought I could end the game myself. I was only ten spaces away.

Judy Shepherd: [reads] "A law of Jumanji having been broken / You will slip back even more than your token."

Sarah Whittle: You tried to cheat?

Peter Shepherd: No, I tried to drop the dice so they'd land on twelve.

Sarah Whittle: Oh, okay, honey. Well, that would be cheating.

Judy Shepherd: [in terror] Peter, your hands! Look at your hands!

[Peter sees that he is growing monkey fur on his hands as a punishment]

Peter Shepherd: [reads] "Need a hand? Well, you just wait / We'll help you out... we each have eight."

[Spiders appear]

Alan Parrish: [reads] "Beware of the ground for which you stand / The floor is quicker than the sand."

[suddenly sinks into quicksand]

Sarah Whittle: [reads] "You're almost there with much at stake / But now the ground begins to quake."

[rumbling begins to occur scaring away the spiders as they were about to harm Sarah and Alan]

Alan Parrish: Our only chance is if we finish the game!

Sarah Whittle: It's your turn...

[Sarah panics as the ground quakes splitting up the house but also freeing Alan and Sarah from the floorboards]

Sarah Whittle, Alan Parrish: OH, MY GOD!

[as the house continues to split, the Jumanji game tips over from the broken floorboard]

Alan Parrish: GET THE GAME! THE GAME!

Sarah Whittle: No, I won't let you go!

[the game falls landing on the edge of another broken floorboard from below, Alan holds on for his life until he falls but grabs onto a vine attached from the ceiling]

Sarah Whittle: ALAN!

Sarah Whittle: I thought I lost you again.

Alan Parrish: Thanks for sticking around this time.

Sarah Whittle: You just saw three monkeys go by on a motorcycle, didn't you?

Judy Shepherd: Yeah.

Sarah Whittle: Good girl. Come on.

Judy Shepherd: [about to continue the game] Ready?

Peter Shepherd: Yeah.

Judy Shepherd: Alan, ready?

Alan Parrish: There is no "ready."

[Judy roles the dice. Her game piece doesn't move]

Judy Shepherd: I'll try it again.

[rolls the dice again. Nothing happens]

Judy Shepherd: Alan, it's not working.

Alan Parrish: [inspects the game board] Oh, no. It's not your turn.

Judy Shepherd: Yeah. I rolled first, and then Peter twice 'cause he got doubles, and now it's my turn again.

Alan Parrish: No, look. Two of those pieces are yours, right? Whose are the other pieces?

[spots his old game piece]

Alan Parrish: The elephant was mine. You're playing the game I started in 1969. I'm gonna have to play.

[Judy offers the dice to him]

Alan Parrish: It's not my turn.

Judy Shepherd: Whose turn is it?

Alan Parrish: Sarah Whittle.

Sarah Whittle: [reads] 'They grow much faster than bamboo / Take care or they'll come after you'.

[Jungle plants start to grow]

Alan Parrish: Oh, great...

Sarah Whittle: [whimpers] Oh, God, tell me this isn't happening!

Alan Parrish: Oh, it is.

[Alan, Sarah, Peter, and Jud huddle close to each other in the middle of the room]

Alan Parrish: Stay away from the walls; don't touch anything. No quick movements.

Sarah Whittle: [whispers] I knew this was going to be a bad day.

Alan Parrish: [holds her hand] Hey, come on, you'll be fine. We just have to keep our heads. Roll with the punches.

Aunt Nora: Peter, take this suitcase up to the attic, then we can all have ice cream.

[mumbles to herself]

Aunt Nora: And bourbon.

Carl: [Alan jumps onto his cruiser] Get down of my car, please. And get up on the sidewalk.

Alan Parrish: What year is it?

Carl: It was brand new.

Alan Parrish: No. What *year* is it?

Judy Shepherd: Uh, 1995, remember?

Alan Parrish: [in shock] '95?

Carl: You got some ID? Oh, let me guess, you probably left it in your other Tarzan outfit, right?

Alan Parrish: 26 years!

Carl: Are you from around here?

Alan Parrish: I was! But I've been in Jumanji.

Judy Shepherd: Indonesia. He was in the Peace Corps.

Alan Parrish: [reads Carl's nametag] Bently.

[Carl walks over to Judy and Peter]

Alan Parrish: Carl Bently, the Soleman!

Carl: Is this man related to you?

Judy Shepherd: Yes, sir. He's our uncle.

Carl: Does he always dress like that?

Judy Shepherd: Well, yeah, he's a vegetarian.

[monkeys enter Carl's car]

Alan Parrish: Get out of there!

[makes monkey sounds]

Alan Parrish: Monkeys! Monkeys.

Carl: [points at his temple] Is he all right upstairs?

Judy Shepherd: Uh, he suffered a head injury a few months ago.

[Alan continues to make monkey sounds to force the monkeys out of Carl's car, only for the monkeys to fire Carl's rifle and drive off]

Carl: Hey! Hey! What the... What? Don't you move!

[runs after his car]

Carl: Freeze! Hey!

Alan Parrish: "Don't move. Don't move."

[runs off]

Judy Shepherd: Hey, wait a minute! Where are you going?

Alan Parrish: To find my parents!

Judy Shepherd: [to Peter] Come on.

[Judy and Peter follow Alan]

Alan Parrish: What, are you crying? You don't cry, all right? You keep your chin up. Come on, keep your chin up. Crying never helped anybody do anything, okay? You have a problem, you face it like a man.

[Peter continues to cry and Alan realizes what he just said]

Alan Parrish: Hey, hey, I'm sorry, okay? Twenty-six years buried in the deepest darkest jungle, and I still became my father.

Alan Parrish: Play the game, Sarah.

Sarah Whittle: [whispering] Oh, no, no, no.

Alan Parrish: All right. Just give me the dice, and you can go home. You don't have to play.

Sarah Whittle: Oh, thank you.

[Sarah gives Alan the dice but moves his hand making Sarah roll as Alan laughs; Sarah loses it]

Sarah Whittle: Oh, my god! How could you do that?

Alan Parrish: It's the law of the jungle, Sarah. You'll get used to it.

Sarah Whittle: And I think of all the energy, I spent visualizing you as a radiant spirit.

[Alan is about to play a turn on the game, and he suddenly cracks up a joke]

Alan Parrish: Okay, it's my turn. I got it! "Colonel Mustard in the Library with a wrench."

[chuckles]

Alan Parrish: "Clue."

Judy Shepherd: [reads] "A tiny bite can make you itch / Make you sneeze, make you twitch."

[Mosquitoes appear]

Peter Shepherd: [reads] "His fangs are sharp, he likes your taste / Your party better move post-haste."

Judy Shepherd: I don't like the sound of that.

[a lion suddenly appears]

Alan Parrish: [in terror] "A hunter from the darkest wild / Makes you feel just like a child."

Sarah Whittle: What is it?

Alan Parrish: Van Pelt.

Hunter Van Pelt: [to Alan] You miserable coward! Come back and face me like a man!

[Alan hurls a sword at Van Pelt, which halts him... briefly]

Hunter Van Pelt: Not good enough, Sonny Jim! I'm coming, ready or not...

Sarah Whittle: [reads] "Every month at the quarter moon / There'll be a monsoon in your lagoon."

[Thunderclouds appear and open up]

Sarah Whittle: Well, a little rain never hurt anybody.

Alan Parrish: Yeah, but a lot can kill you!

Exterminator: Bats aren't what I worry about in this house anyway.

Judy Shepherd: What would you worry about?

Exterminator: Well, personally, I wouldn't want to live in a house where someone was murdered.

Judy Shepherd: Murdered?

Exterminator: Yep, little Alan Parrish. I'd say his father did it. There's 1,001 places he could've hid the body in this house - especially if he chopped it up first.

Sarah Whittle: [after Alan got chased by Van Pelt] What is the deal with you and this guy?

Alan Parrish: He's a hunter. He kills things, that's what he does. And right now, he wants to hunt me and kill me, okay?

Sarah Whittle: Why you?

Alan Parrish: Why me? I don't know. Everything about me he finds offensive. You'd think it'd be a waste of his time. Maybe he needs something for his wall, you know, a Parrish - something to go between penguin and partridge.

Sarah Whittle: Well, have you ever thought about just sitting down and talking about your differences?

Alan Parrish: What, are you crazy? The man has a gun!

Sarah Whittle: Don't ever call me crazy, Alan! EVER! Because everyone in this town has called me crazy ever since I told the cops you were sucked into a board game.

Alan Parrish: Listen, Carl. I know it doesn't mean much after twenty-six years. But I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Carl: Sorry for what?

Alan Parrish: It's me, Alan.

Alan Parrish: So, when can you start?

Jim Shepherd: Well, actually, Martha and I were thinking of taking a little skiing holiday in the Canadian Rockies.

Alan Parrish, Sarah Whittle: No!

[all is silent for a brief second]

Alan Parrish: Sorry. We just...

Sarah Whittle: ...need you to get that marketing done on the new line, pronto.

Jim Shepherd: No problem. No problem. You know, I can probably start next week.

Sarah Whittle: [Alan grabs her] Oh, get your hands off me!

Alan Parrish: The game is not over yet, Sarah!

Sarah Whittle: Well, it is for me! You are not in the jungle anymore. Stop this, you don't treat people like this!

Alan Parrish, 1969: Oh, no. The game thinks I rolled.

Young Sarah: What do you mean "the game thinks"?

Sarah Whittle: You might've told us there was a man in there with a rifle that hunts people.

Alan Parrish: [exasperatingly sarcastic] Well, I didn't know, okay? It's just the roll of the dice!

Judy Shepherd: [sarcastically] Is he the reason you didn't wanna play?

Sarah Whittle: [scoffs] You didn't want to play either, Mr. We-Started-Something-26-Years-Ago-And-Now-We've-Gotta-Finish-It?

Alan Parrish, 1969: [angry] I guess I'm not ready for Cliffside then!

Samuel Alan Parrish: [at the door, shouts] We're taking you there next Sunday! And I don't want to hear another word about it!

Alan Parrish, 1969: You won't! I'm never talking to you again!

[Sam slams the door behind him as Alan tears up the brochure in anger]

[after hearing drums]

Judy Shepherd: I'm going to Motel Six!

Aunt Nora: Oh, for heaven's sake!

Gun salesman: [Van Pelt enters his store] What can I do for you?

Hunter Van Pelt: I want a gross of these.

[hands an empty elephant gun shell to the gun store salesman]

Gun salesman: You know, they stopped making these in 1903.

Hunter Van Pelt: Damn. I shall need a replacement weapon.

[sets his old rifle on the counter]

Hunter Van Pelt: Well, there's a waiting period, and you'll have to...

[sets down a bunch of papers for Van Pelt to sign]

Hunter Van Pelt: ... fill out these.

[Van Pelt sets some coins on the table]

Hunter Van Pelt: Or I could fill these out.

[gets Van Pelt his new rifle]

Hunter Van Pelt: Now, anyone asks, you didn't get this here.

[Van Pelt looks through the scope of his rifle with his finger on the trigger]

Hunter Van Pelt: You're not a postal worker, are you?

[Van Pelt looks at the salesman as if to say, "Excuse me?"]

Alan Parrish: [a pelican has grabbed the game] WHY DIDN'T YOU GRAB THE GAME, PETER?

[chases after pelican]

Sarah Whittle: [to a dejected Peter] Just ignore him, honey, he's a Libra.

Sarah Whittle: [calls to Alan] WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

Alan Parrish: He'll head for water!

Judy Shepherd: [standing by Alan's parents' graves] Our parents are dead, too. They were in the Middle East negotiating peace when...

[gets nudged by Peter]

Peter Shepherd: Our dad was in advertising.

Alan Parrish: I bet you miss him, huh?

[Peter nods]

Alan Parrish: Me too.

[puts his Jumanji hat on the grave and walks away, distressed]

Judy Shepherd: There he goes again. Listen, I know you're upset and all, but I kind of feel we should finish the game.

Alan Parrish: We? Why do you need me?

Judy Shepherd: Well, just in case any scary stuff comes out. Plus, there's a lion in my aunt's bedroom. What am I supposed to do about that?

Alan Parrish: What do I look like, a Ringling Brother?

Judy Shepherd: But she'll be home soon!

Alan Parrish: Won't she be surprised! I hope she's not allergic to cats.

Alan Parrish: Twenty-six years ago, you played a game with a little boy down the street. A game with drums.

Sarah Whittle: How do you know that?

Alan Parrish: I was that little boy, Sarah.

Sarah Whittle: [hushed] Alan...

[she falls over in a faint]

Peter Shepherd: [to Alan] You killed her.

[1869, Benjamin and Caleb are burying a chest]

Benjamin: What if someone digs it up?

Caleb: [dramatically] May God have mercy on his soul.

Billy Jessup the Bully: Just because you're a Parrish doesn't mean you can hang around with my girlfriend.

Alan Parrish, 1969: We're just friends.

Billy Jessup the Bully: [chuckles] Not anymore.

Aunt Nora: Now, let's try to relax, finish our dinner, and talk about something else.

Judy Shepherd: Well, we found out why you got this house so cheap. 26 years ago, a kid named Alan Parrish used to live here. Then one day, he just disappeared, because his parents chopped him up in little pieces and hid him in the walls.

Aunt Nora: Okay, that's it. I am sick and tired of your lies, young lady. You're grounded.

Judy Shepherd: [leaves] Fine, there's nowhere to go in this stupid town, anyway. And just for your information, that wasn't a lie.

Judy Shepherd: [about a noise she just heard] Did you hear anything a little while ago?

Peter Shepherd: [shakes his head] Do you miss mom and dad?

Judy Shepherd: No.

Peter Shepherd: Liar. If you don't cut that out, they're gonna send you to a shrink.

Judy Shepherd: Where do you think they're gonna send you if you don't start talking?

Alan Parrish: Do you know what happened to this shoe factory?

Shoe Factory Bum: Yeah, it folded up, like everything else in this town. It's pretty cold out there. How about some coffee?

Alan Parrish: Why would they close Parrish Shoes?

Shoe Factory Bum: Well, when his kid ran away, Sam put everything he had to find him - his time, his money, everything. After a while, he stopped coming to work. He just quit caring. I don't think anybody loved his boy more than Sam did.

[after a big vine has swiped Carl's car]

Carl: Fine! Take it!

[Alan and Sarah have finished the game. Sam reenters the house]

Samuel Alan Parrish: Forgot my speech notes.

Alan Parrish, 1969: [runs up to Sam and hugs him] I'm so glad you're back.

Samuel Alan Parrish: I've only been gone 5 minutes.

Alan Parrish, 1969: [crying] It seems like a lot longer for me.

Samuel Alan Parrish: I thought you told me you were never going to talk to me again.

Alan Parrish, 1969: Whatever I said, Dad, I'm sorry.

[They hug again]

Samuel Alan Parrish: Oh, Alan, I was angry, OK? And I'm sorry, too. Look, you don't have to go to Cliffside if you don't want to. Let's talk it over tomorrow. Man to man.

Alan Parrish, 1969: How about father to son?

Hunter Van Pelt: [leveling his gun at Alan] End of the line, Sonny Jim. Game's up. Start running.

Alan Parrish: [as Sarah runs into the room] No...

Hunter Van Pelt: Aren't you afraid?

Alan Parrish: I'm terrified. But my father says you should always face what you're afraid of.

Hunter Van Pelt: [chuckles] Good lad. You're finally acting like a man.

[aims his gun at Alan]

Hunter Van Pelt: Any last words?

Alan Parrish: [Alan looks down and notices his game piece moving to the end of the board, after which the word "Jumanji" appears, reads it quietly] Jumanji.

Hunter Van Pelt: Eh?

Alan Parrish: [slightly louder] Jumanji.

[Van Pelt cocks his gun]

Sarah Whittle: [runs to shield Alan] NO, ALAN! NO!

Judy Shepherd: Peter hasn't spoken a word since it happened.

Estate Agent: Oh. Oh, my. I'm so sorry. How terribly awful.

Judy Shepherd: It's OK. We barely even knew our parents. They were always away. Skiing, gambling in Monte Carlo, on safari in darkest Africa. We didn't even know if they loved us. But when the Sheik's yacht went down, they managed to write us a really beautiful goodbye note that was found floating in a champagne bottle amongst the debris.

[Starts crying]

Judy Shepherd: Excuse me.

[Judy leaves the room. Camera pans away to show that she is actually laughing at the lie she just told the Estate Agent]

Aunt Nora: [to the Estate Agent] They were very devoted parents. Car crash in Canada.

Alan Parrish: Where's Sir Sav-A-Lot?

Carl: Monroe and Elm!

Alan Parrish: The Episcopal Church.

Carl: No, it's not a church anymore. Now it's a Speedy Burger. Or at least it was. I don't know what's left of it. People in this town are goin' loopy.

[the rules of Jumanji]

Alan Parrish, 1969: [reads] Jumanji: a game for those who seek to find / a way to leave their world behind. You roll the dice to move your token, doubles gets another turn, the first player to reach the end wins.

Judy Shepherd: [reads] Adventurers beware: do not begin unless you intend to finish. The exciting consequences of the game / will vanish only when a player has reached Jumanji and called out its name.

Sarah Whittle: [in 1995] Alan, they're here.

[Alan and Sarah greet Judy and Peter]

Sarah Whittle: I have spent over 2,000 hours in therapy convincing myself that that doesn't exist. See, what happened to you was so awful I made up that whole thing.

Alan Parrish: Sarah, it was awful. It was awful. It was awful, it really was. But it was real. Real.

Sarah Whittle: No, no, no, it wasn't real, Alan. Your father murdered you and he chopped you up into little pieces.

Alan Parrish: Sarah, come on! My dad did that? My father could barely hug me, let alone cut me into little pieces.

Alan Parrish, 1969: "In the jungle you must wait, until the dice read five or eight". In the jungle you must wait? What's that mean?

[Sarah and Alan both scream as they witness him being pulled into the game]

Alan Parrish, 1969: Sarah! Roll the dice, Sarah!

[Alan has been arrested by Carl]

Carl "Sole Man" Bentley: What is this about? I know you know.

Alan Parrish: Yes, I do, but you wouldn't believe me even if I told you, Carl.

Carl "Sole Man" Bentley: Wait a minute, wait a minute, how do you know my name is Carl?

Alan Parrish: I know a lot more than that. I know you used to work on the stamping line at Parrish Shoes. They used to call you "Sole Man."

Carl "Sole Man" Bentley: Ha! Sole Man. Yeah, that's right. I was in there too, man, till Old Man Parrish fired me.

Alan Parrish: He fired you?

Carl "Sole Man" Bentley: Yeah, man. And I had something that could've turned this whole town around.

Alan Parrish: Your shoes.

Carl "Sole Man" Bentley: [confused] Right.

Alan Parrish: Listen, Carl. I know it doesn't mean much after 26 years, but I'm sorry.

[looks in the rear view mirror]

Alan Parrish: I'm sorry.

Carl "Sole Man" Bentley: [looks at Alan's reflection] Sorry for what?

Alan Parrish: [nods his head] It's me, Alan.

[Carl slams on the brakes; the car screeches to a stop]

Alan Parrish: [Whispers] Oh, thank you.

[Closes door and gets ready to cut his long hair, shave, and put on clothes]

Alan Parrish: No more banana leaves.