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Young Bethany: I think he went back in. We gotta go get him.
Young Fridge: Are you out of your mind?
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Mouse Finbar: Did I die and turn into a small muscular boy scout?
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Dr Smolder Bravestone: Who is Jumanji?
Mouse Finbar: Is that Barbara's boy?
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Professor Shelly Oberon: No, no, no! I'm the old fat dude! This can't be happening!
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Milo Walker: What in the Sam Hill?
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Professor Shelly Oberon: You got to have eyes in the back of your...
[gets attacked from behind by a python]
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[Eddie tries out Dr Bravestone's smoldering intensity]
Mouse Finbar: Are you having a heart attack? Breathe! Breathe! His whole left side is shutting down!
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Eddie: Getting old is a gift. I forget that sometimes, but it is. What more could a guy possibly want?
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Professor Shelly Oberon: It says dunes and we're in the dunes. No shit.
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Eddie: Holy shit!
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[in the desert; reading his list of strengths and weaknesses]
Professor Shelly Oberon: And for weaknesses, endurance. And what else? Let's see... heat, sun, and sand.
[punches chest and the list disappears]
Professor Shelly Oberon: Shouldn't be a problem. It's not like we're in the middle of a goddamn desert or anything!
-
[Jumanji drums beat while a herd of ostriches run toward the stranded group, while Milo as Finbar is stalling to speak]
Mouse Finbar: Oh! There's one more thing about ostriches.
Professor Shelly Oberon: Oh, no...
Ruby Roundhouse: Say it!
Mouse Finbar: They travel in herds.
[ostrich screeches while it and its herd hone in on the group]
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Mouse Finbar: Why does everybody keep dropping from the sky?
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Eddie: Everybody should be so lucky to have a friend like Milo.
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Oberon: I've always been the super clever one, and he's always been super brave. And super ball-less.
Mouse: Stop saying that! Both of my balls are right here!
Oberon: In spirit.
Mouse: Hey...
Oberon: They're here in spirit.
[whispers]
Oberon: Always.
Elevator Guard: Of course
Oberon: Right, bro?
Mouse: [hesitates] Right. I got no balls.
-
Oberon: I will torch you, bitches! I will literally burn your face!
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Oberon: If you touch my boobs, I will murder you!
Ruby: Too late! That was the first thing I did.
-
Mouse: What is this guy's deal?
Ruby: He's what was it, an NPC? A non-player character. He has a limited number of things he can say.
Mouse: My friend Carl is the same way.
-
[first lines]
Bethany: [texting a photo] Leaving this to come see you. And I can't wait.
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Young Fridge: I gotta stop hanging out with white people. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me.
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Mouse: [as Milo] You've got to pay attention to what's in your hand.
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Dr Smolder Bravestone: [as Eddie] Who is Jumanji?
Mouse: [as Milo] Well, if I was listening correctly, that is her sister.
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Mouse: [as Milo] Did I just kill Eddie by talking too slow? Like he always said I would?
Jumanji: The Next Level Quotes
Extended Reading
