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Lewis Thomas: He's watching us!
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Fuller Thomas: Do a woman's voice.
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Rusty Nail: I was just playing.
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Fuller Thomas: Do you ever miss Mom and Dad?
Lewis Thomas: Yeah, I miss Mom's chocolate chip cookies, playing football with Dad on Sundays, going to... Oh wait, that somebody else's childhood. What I meant was, "No."
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Rusty Nail: Candy Cane? Hey anybody know a Candy Cane?
Lewis Thomas: Rusty Nail?
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Ice Truck Driver: Do you guys need help back to the main road?
Fuller Thomas: [41:17] Yeah, we're fine, now that we're not murdered.
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[about the car]
Venna: Have you guys named it yet?
Fuller Thomas: Not yet, but we were thinking about "Tad" or "Lewis's Shitty Newport".
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Fuller Thomas: [41:33] I have never felt like more of a pussy in my entire life.
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[after installing the CB]
Fuller Thomas: This is like some kinda prehistoric Internet.
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Fuller Thomas: [40:30] Stay the fuck back, man. I've got a gun!
Ice Truck Driver: And I've got a MasterCard.
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Venna: I'm not going anywhere until somebody tells me why I should be afraid of a radio.
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Rusty Nail: [on the phone] Ya know what I really get a kick out of? Pretending the person I'm talking to is right next to me. Right next to me...
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Venna: [1:00:02] How scared am I supposed to be?
Fuller Thomas: Much more than usual.
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Rusty Nail: [34:11] Apologize.
Fuller Thomas: No. Listen, you sick fuck, you pathetic, lonely, walkie-talkie, freak-show motherfucker. You're not getting anything from me. Know why? Because I have something that's more powerful than your psychosis. It's called a volume knob, and the only thing I have to do to make you go away is to turn it counterclockwise. You got that? You copy that?
Rusty Nail: You know, Black Sheep, you really ought to get that fixed.
Fuller Thomas: Get what fixed?
Rusty Nail: Your taillight.
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[after Lewis intentionally runs off the road]
Fuller Thomas: So, do you need me to drive, er, you good?
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Marine: [talking into the CB radio] Howdy, you got Black Sheep here with Mama's Boy. Who we got? over.
Fuller Thomas: Can I please get a better handle than Mama's Boy?
Marine: No.
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Fuller Thomas: All right, no cops 'til Jamestown. Free to speed like a mother fucker for like the next 40 miles or so.
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Fuller Thomas: [Fuller and Lewis are driving] You know, with the exception of the seat spring piercing my ass, this ride's excellent.
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Lewis Thomas: I've got a plan.
Venna: What's your plan?
Lewis Thomas: Let's never go back there again.
Venna: Oh, I can't wait to never go back there.
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Fuller Thomas: Do what I do. Just remind yourself that in a hundred years you're gonna be dead. It's the closest thing I've got to a philosophy.
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[after Fuller has the CB radio installed]
Lewis Thomas: You put a hole in my car.
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Fuller Thomas: Come on, I know what Dad says about me behind my back. That I'm the world's biggest loser. And that's coming from a plumber! That's coming from a man who wears a lime green jumpsuit to work everyday!
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Rusty Nail: [1:06:32] Now they know what it feels like... to be the butt-end of the joke. Your palms sweating, your face burning up. Now they know what it's like... to be the fucking punch line.
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Lewis Thomas: You should call home every once in a while. You know, when you don't need bail money?
Fuller Thomas: Yeah, but how often is that?
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Fuller Thomas: Hey, you came all the way to Salt Lake for me?
Lewis Thomas: Well, you are technically still my brother.
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Local in Nebraska Bar: [to Lewis] I said, is this your bitch? Cause if it is your bitch, you better shut your bitch up.
Fuller Thomas: [running towards them] Bitch, are you mouthing off again? I'm sorry man, it's just so hard to keep them in line nowadays.
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Truck Stop Waitress: [1:07:36] You want fries with that?
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Officer Akins: [28:02] So you have no idea who might have visited Mr. Ellinghouse's room last night?
Fuller Thomas: No, sir. I wish - I wish we could be more helpful, but I...
Lewis Thomas: Is he dead?
Officer Akins: Coma. You know what I'm thinkin'? I'm thinkin' that a little look-see might "refreshify" your memory.
Fuller Thomas: Takin' a look-see at what?
Officer Akins: [Visiting Hospital Heart Monitor Beeping, Ventilator Pumping] Ripped his jaw... clean off.
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Sheriff Ritter: [29:01]
[throwing a pile of files on his desk]
Sheriff Ritter: That is the pain in my ass. My own personal file of ongoing shit that I got to deal with. And now, guess what? Now, I got me another one. Mr. Ronald Ellinghouse... layin' two inches from dead in my jurisdiction. Why? Because you sorry-as punks thought you'd have some fun. Fuck! I'd keep you retards in custody if I thought it would help answer... one of the hundreds of new questions I got. But, no. All you know is his damn C.B. handle. And maybe he drives a truck. Do you understand the kinds of shit I got to grapple with now... because of what you assholes did?
Sheriff Ritter: [Looking at Fuller] You! You got out of jail when? Yesterday? I want you outta here. This is like an old-fashioned western. I want you out of Wyoming before the sun goes down.
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Truck Stop Manager: [1:07:42] Is this a fraternity stunt? Because if this wasn't my restaurant...
Fuller Thomas: It isn't. There's a man who's gonna kill our friend if we don't come in like this...
Truck Stop Manager: Guys, guys... if this wasn't my restaurant I'd say it was a pretty good one.
Fuller Thomas: No, we're not joking, man!
Joy Ride Quotes
Extended Reading
