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Jojo Betzler: I'm the enemy?
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Adolf Hitler: You two seem to be getting on well!
Jojo Betzler: She doesn't seem like a bad person.
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Elsa Korr: You're not a Nazi, Jojo. You're a ten-year-old kid who likes dressing up in a funny uniform and wants to be part of a club.
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Elsa Korr: Your mother took me in. She's kind. She treats me like a person.
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Jojo Betzler: Nothing makes sense anymore.
Yorki: Yeah, I know, definitely not a good time to be a Nazi.
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Jojo Betzler: [to Adolf] Fuck off, Hitler!
[kicks Adolph out the window]
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Jojo Betzler: [after Elsa slaps him for lying about who won the war] Yeah, I kind of deserved that.
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Elsa Korr: You know what I am. Say it. Say it!
Jojo Betzler: A Jew?
Elsa Korr: Gesundheit.
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Yorki: I am going home to my mother. I need a cuddle.
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Elsa Korr: Is it dangerous out there?
Jojo Betzler: Extremely.
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Adolf Hitler: Let them say whatever they want. People used to say a lot of nasty things about me. "Oh, this guy's a lunatic!" "Oh, look at that psycho! He's gonna get us all killed!"
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Jojo Betzler: What am I going to do?
Adolf Hitler: I have no idea.
Jojo Betzler, Adolf Hitler: Got It!
Jojo Betzler: [simultaneously] I'll negotiate.
Adolf Hitler: [simultaneously] I'll burn down the house and blame Winston Churchill... or negotiate.
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Deertz: Now this is my kind of little boy's bedroom.
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[Rosie and Jojo come upon six people hanging from a gallows in the town square]
Jojo Betzler: What did they do?
Rosie: What they could.
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Jojo Betzler: I think you'll find that metal is the strongest thing on the earth followed by dynamite and then muscles.
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Elsa Korr: I don't know anything about being a woman. Is that what it is? You do things like drink wine?
Rosie: Sure. You drink. Champagne if you're happy. Champagne, if you're sad. You drive a car. Gamble if you want. Own diamonds. Learn how to fire a gun. You travel to Morocco. Take up lovers. Make them suffer. You look a tiger in the eye. And trust without fear. That's what it is to be a woman.
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Jojo Betzler: I look stupid. People will stare.
Rosie: Enjoy the attention, kid. Not everyone is lucky enough to look stupid.
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Jojo Betzler: I'm way too busy for a girlfriend.
Elsa Korr: One day you'll make time. You'll think of nothing else. You'll meet someone, and spend your days, dreaming of the moments you can hold them in your arms again. That's love.
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Jojo Betzler: I said to draw where Jews live. This is just a stupid picture of my head.
Elsa Korr: Yeah, that's where we live.
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Adolf Hitler: And it is up to you to decide if you want to be remembered, or disappear without a trace, like a pitiful grain of sand into a desert of insignificance. To put it plainly. Get your shit together and sort out your priorities.
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Rosie: [exasperated] Where are all the goddamned knives?
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Rosie: [Jojo has told her that he hears the ghost of his dead sister upstairs] You've lost your mind. It's sadder for me though, because I have to live with a crazy person.
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Elsa Korr: Break free. Break free, great Aryan. There are no weak Jews. I am descended from those who wrestle angels and kill giants. We were chosen by God. You were chosen by a pathetic little man who can't even grow a full moustache.
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Rosie: You're growing up too fast. Ten-year-olds shouldn't be celebrating war and talking politics. You should be climbing trees and then falling out of those trees.
Jojo Betzler: But the Führer says when we win, it is us, young boys who will rule the world.
Rosie: Pfft! The Reich is dying. We're going to lose the war and then what are you going to do, hmm? Life is a gift. We must celebrate it. We have to dance to show God we are grateful to be alive.
Jojo Betzler: Well, I won't dance. Dancing is for people who don't have a job.
Rosie: Dancing is for people who are free. It's an escape from all this.
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Jojo Betzler: But... you know... she's Jewish.
Yorki: There are bigger things to worry about than Jews, Jojo. There's Russians out there somewhere.
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Adolf Hitler: Sure, you're a little bit scrawny and a bit unpopular and you can't tie your shoelaces even though you're ten years old. But you're still the bestest, most loyal little Nazi I've ever met. Not to mention the fact you're really good-looking.
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[first lines]
Jojo Betzler: [Jojo puts on his uniform and looks at himself in the mirror] Jojo Betzler, ten years old. Today, you join the ranks of the Jungvolk in a very special training weekend. It's going to be intense. Today, you become a man.
[pause]
Jojo Betzler: I swear to devote all my energies and my strength to the savior of our country, and of his now. I am willing and ready to give up my life for him. So help me, God.
[Hitler walks around Jojo]
Adolf Hitler: Yes, that's right. Now, Jojo Betzler, what is your mind?
Jojo Betzler: Snake mind.
Adolf Hitler: And Jojo Betzler, what is your body?
Jojo Betzler: Wolf body.
Adolf Hitler: Jojo Betzler, what is your courage?
Jojo Betzler: Panther courage.
Adolf Hitler: And Jojo Betzler, what is your soul?
Jojo Betzler: A German soul.
Adolf Hitler: Yeah, man. You're ready.
Jojo Betzler: Adolf?
Adolf Hitler: Hmm?
Jojo Betzler: I don't... I don't think I can do this.
Adolf Hitler: What? Of course you can. Sure, you're a little bit scrawny and a bit unpopular and you can't tie your shoelaces even though you're 10 years old, but you're still the bestest, most loyal little Nazi I've ever met. Not to mention the fact you're really good looking. So you're gonna get out there and you're gonna have a great time, okay?
Jojo Betzler: Okay.
Adolf Hitler: That's the spirit, okay.
[Adolf turns Jojo around]
Adolf Hitler: Heil me, man.
Jojo Betzler: Heil Hitler.
Adolf Hitler: Whaaat? You can heil me better than that.
Jojo Betzler: Heil Hitler.
Adolf Hitler: Just throw it away. Don't even think about it.
Jojo Betzler: Heil Hitler.
Adolf Hitler: No, you're overthinking it. Heil Hitler.
Jojo Betzler: Heil Hitaler.
Adolf Hitler: Who's Hitaler? Do you even speak German?
Jojo Betzler: Heil Hitler.
Adolf Hitler: That's not a heil. This is a heil. Heil!
Jojo Betzler: Heil Hitler!
Adolf Hitler: Heil Hitler!
Jojo Betzler: Heil Hitler!
Adolf Hitler: Heil Hitler!
[Jojo continues to yell 'Heil Hitler!' several times]
Adolf Hitler: Ooh, that's it! You've got it! Heil Hitler! Have a great day! Heil Hitler! You can be the best! Heil Hitler! You can do it!
Jojo Betzler, Adolf Hitler: Heil Hitler! Heil Hitler! Heil Hitler! Heil Hitler! Heil Hitler!
[they both scream until Jojo runs out the door]
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Deertz: Heil Hitler!
Captain Klenzendorf: Heil Hitler!
Herr Junker: Heil Hitler!
Captain Klenzendorf: Heil Hitler!
Herr Mueller: Heil Hitler!
Captain Klenzendorf: Heil Hitler!
Herr Klum: Heil Hitler!
Captain Klenzendorf: Heil Hitler!
Herr Frosch: Heil Hitler!
Captain Klenzendorf: Heil Hitler.
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Adolf Hitler: [after Jojo gets book from shelf] Yes. Great thinking, Rabbit. we'll use all of these books to make a fake floor that she'll fall through, straight into a pit full of piranhas, and, and lava and bacon. Why, she won't know what hit her.
Jojo Betzler: Shh!
Adolf Hitler: Shh?
Jojo Betzler: Shh!
Adolf Hitler: You, shush. Shush me? Let's get a book and let's go. Libraries are dumb.
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Jojo Betzler: If someone turned in a Jew, would they get a medal or something?
Captain Klenzendorf: Ah, Jews, Jews, Jews. Are you still going on about those people? You know I'm preparing the city for imminent invasion, right? I'm trying to plan a defense strategy.
[Indicates raisins on a map]
Captain Klenzendorf: I've got Americans to the west,
[indicates almonds on the map]
Captain Klenzendorf: got Russians to the east.
Fraulein Rahm: My friend once met some Russians, and they ate him.
Jojo Betzler: Who's the walnuts?
Captain Klenzendorf: Walnuts are just walnuts, kid.
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Jojo Betzler: What's going on out here?
Yorki: The Russians, Jojo. They're coming. And the Americans from the other way. And England and China and Africa and India. The whole world is coming. Help me with this ammo.
Jojo Betzler: And how are we doing?
Yorki: Terribly. Our only friends are the Japanese. And just between you and me, they don't look very Aryan.
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Fraulein Rahm: [Talking to Nazi boy soldier] Okay. Come here. Okay. See that American there? Just go give him a hug.
[Activating grenade strapped to boy's belt]
Fraulein Rahm: Go! Run! Let's Go!
[Notices Yorki]
Fraulein Rahm: Oh, Yorki. Yorki, great news. You've just been promoted, and you get your own pistol. Just go and shoot anybody who looks different to us.
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Captain Klenzendorf: Today you boys will be involved in such activities as marching, bayonet drills, grenade throwing, trench digging, map reading, gas defense, camouflage, ambush techniques, war games, firing guns and blowing stuff up.
[boys cheer]
Captain Klenzendorf: The girls will practice important womanly duties such as dressing wounds, making beds and learning how to get pregnant.
Fraulein Rahm: I had eighteen babies for the Fuhrer. It's a great year to be a girl!
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Fraulein Rahm: [looking at Jojo in the ambulance] O-M-Gott! He looks like a Picasso painting!
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Adolf: Did you see how fast she moved?
Jojo: Yes.
Adolf: Like a little female Jewish Jesse Owens. And now she's got your fancy knife!
Jojo: Mmm, my knife!
Adolf: Yeah, like a little female Jewish Jesse Owens Jack the Ripper. You're definitely in a pickle, my friend.
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Deertz: [to Jojo] You and your friends may have heard a rumor that Hitler only has one ball. This is nonsense. He has four.
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Yorki: There are bigger things to worry about than Jews, Jojo. There's Russians somewhere out there. They're worse than anyone. I heard they eat babies and have sex with dogs. I mean like that's bad, right?
Jojo: Sex with dogs?
Yorki: Yeah. The Englishmen do it too. We have to stop them before they eat us and screw all our dogs.
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Captain Klenzendorf: Well, if it isn't Herr Handgrenade himself.
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Captain Klenzendorf: Okay. If you see a Jew, you tell us, we tell the Gestapo, they tell the SS, and then they go out and they kill the Jew. And anyone who helped the Jew. And, because these are very paranoid times, probably some other people just in case. It's a pretty drawn-out process.
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Jojo: Hey, Yorki. I caught a Jew. A real one.
Yorki: Oh a Jew? I saw some that they caught hiding in the forest last month. Personally, I didn't see what all the fuss was about. They weren't at all scary and seemed kind of normal.
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Deertz: We were just "Heil Hitlering" the boy, and then "Heil Hitlering" yourself, and then, of course, "Heil Hitlering" Freddy Finkel.
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Yorki: I'm not sure we chose the right side.
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[Jojo has just run out of the fog, grabbed a grenade out of his hand, and had it blow up in his face]
Captain Klenzendorf: [Instructs to the class] Don't... do that.
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Jojo Betzler: Beethoven.
Elsa Korr: Einstein.
Jojo Betzler: Bach.
Elsa Korr: Gershwin.
Jojo Betzler: Brahms, Wagner, Mozart.
Elsa Korr: Musicians. Is that all you have?
-
Captain Klenzendorf: Can two-eyed people do this?
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Fraulein Rahm: I've had 18 kids for Germany. Such a great year to be a girl.
-
Fraulein Rahm: Now, get your things together, kids. It's time to burn some books.
[all cheer]
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Yorki: I thought I was your best friend.
Jojo Betzler: Yorki, you're my second-best friend. First place is reserved for the Führer.
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Adolf Hitler: Let me give you some really good advice. Be the rabbit. The humble bunny can outwit all of his enemies. He's brave and sneaky and strong. Be the rabbit.
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Rosie: Not everyone's lucky enough to look stupid. I, for one, am cursed to look incredibly attractive.
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Adolf Hitler: And now she's got two knives.
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Adolf Hitler: What are we gonna do about that Jew?
Jojo Betzler: You think of something.
Adolf Hitler: Oh, now I'm the expert?
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Rosie: You don't know him. He's a fanatic. It took him three weeks to get over the fact that his grandfather was not blond.
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Elsa Korr: Scary places full of strange and wonderful creatures all with one thing in common.
Jojo Betzler: Mm-hmm. Stealing the ends of penises?
Elsa Korr: No, you idiot. The love of art.
Jojo Betzler: No cutting penises off?
Elsa Korr: Do you want the story or not?
Jojo Betzler: You may continue, but I know it's true. The penis thing. Rabbis use them for earplugs.
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Adolf Hitler: [shouting like Hitler] Do not let your German brain be bossed around!
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Captain Klenzendorf: As part of our preparations for the invasion, I'm redesigning my uniform. Note, the feathers for aerodynamics, the sparkly color to dazzle the enemy, the boots purely decorative.
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Deertz: [to Jojo] I wish more of our young boys had your blind fanaticism.
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Adolf Hitler: You're ten, Jojo. Start acting like it.
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Adolf Hitler: And don't give her anymore knives!
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[Unseen by Jojo, Rosie moves to the fireplace and pulls some small pieces of printed paper from her pocket. She lights them and throws them into the hearth]
Adolf Hitler: Wait a minute. She's burning something. That's suspicious. What's she burning?
[to Rosie, shouting]
Adolf Hitler: What are you burning?
Jojo Betzler: She can't hear you.
Adolf Hitler: Oh.
[beat; screams]
Adolf Hitler: WHAT ARE YOU BURNING?
Jojo Rabbit Quotes
Extended Reading
