Jeeves and Wooster Quotes

[greeting the Glossops before trying to prove his sanity]

Bertie: What ho, what ho, what ho?

Bertie: Yes! And, of course the old devil himself. Yes, he really put one up on the uncle didn't he? Thanks to Jeeves's masterpiece. What a wheeze!

Muriel: Darling, this is a friend of mine, Mr. Wooster. Mr. Wooster I'd like you to meet my husband, Mr. Worple.

Bertie: Husband? Huh! What rot!

Jeeves: Am I to infer sir that you might be offering yourself for election?

Bertie: Your inference is as always slap on the button and leading by a length in the final furlong, Jeeves.

Jeeves: Travel is highly educational, Sir.

Bertie: I cannot do with any more education, Jeeves. I was full up years ago!

Bertie: He wants to marry Myrtle Snap?

Jeeves: Precisely so, Sir, but Mrs. Snap refuses to consider such a venture while Sir Roderick's daughter remains unmarried. In a colourful turn of phrase she stated that specific and scarcely to be anticipated meteorological conditions would have to take place in the infernal region before she would share a home with Miss Honoria.

Bertie: [stuck looking after a dog] What are you doing tonight, Jeeves?

Jeeves: I shall stay in with an improving book, Sir.

Bertie: Wouldn't you rather stay in with an improving dog?

Bertie: ...trying to improve my mind I dare say.

Jeeves: That seems scarcely possible sir.

Bertie: You don't disapprove Jeeves?

Jeeves: It is hardly my place to say sir.

Bertie: I know it's hardly your place to say Jeeves, that doesn't normally stop you.

Bertie: Do you know everything?

Jeeves: I really don't know, Sir.