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[greeting the Glossops before trying to prove his sanity]
Bertie: What ho, what ho, what ho?
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Bertie: Yes! And, of course the old devil himself. Yes, he really put one up on the uncle didn't he? Thanks to Jeeves's masterpiece. What a wheeze!
Muriel: Darling, this is a friend of mine, Mr. Wooster. Mr. Wooster I'd like you to meet my husband, Mr. Worple.
Bertie: Husband? Huh! What rot!
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Bertie: And if *that* doesn't leave me without a stain on my conscience, then I don't know *what* it doesn't leave me without a stain on.
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Jeeves: Am I to infer sir that you might be offering yourself for election?
Bertie: Your inference is as always slap on the button and leading by a length in the final furlong, Jeeves.
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Jeeves: Travel is highly educational, Sir.
Bertie: I cannot do with any more education, Jeeves. I was full up years ago!
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Bertie: He wants to marry Myrtle Snap?
Jeeves: Precisely so, Sir, but Mrs. Snap refuses to consider such a venture while Sir Roderick's daughter remains unmarried. In a colourful turn of phrase she stated that specific and scarcely to be anticipated meteorological conditions would have to take place in the infernal region before she would share a home with Miss Honoria.
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Bertie: [stuck looking after a dog] What are you doing tonight, Jeeves?
Jeeves: I shall stay in with an improving book, Sir.
Bertie: Wouldn't you rather stay in with an improving dog?
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Bertie: ...trying to improve my mind I dare say.
Jeeves: That seems scarcely possible sir.
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Bertie: You don't disapprove Jeeves?
Jeeves: It is hardly my place to say sir.
Bertie: I know it's hardly your place to say Jeeves, that doesn't normally stop you.
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Bertie: Do you know everything?
Jeeves: I really don't know, Sir.
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Bertie: Well, I shall see you at Phillipi.
Jeeves and Wooster Quotes
Extended Reading