Jason X Quotes

[Kay-Em 14's head has been separated from her body]

Kay-Em 14: I'd clap if I could.

[Rowan meets Kay-Em 14, the crew's technodroid]

Rowan: Oh, my God. She looks so real.

Kay-Em 14: I AM real.

Brodski: It's gonna take more than a poke in the ribs to put down this old dog.

[Jason stabs him through the chest again]

Brodski: Yeah, that oughta do it.

Rowan: I don't think he's out there...

Janessa: Why don't you just stick your head out and have a peek?

[Jason approaches Professor Lowe and reaches out for a machete sitting next to him]

Professor Lowe: [scared] Oh, you want your machete!

[laughs it off]

Professor Lowe: Shit, it's yours! Take it! Just remember who got it back for ya...

[Jason stares at him]

Professor Lowe: [calling out] Guys, it's okay! He just wanted his machete back!

Janessa: I'm real bitchy when I wake up.

Tsunaron: Did you just wake up?

Brodski: How long has she been dead?

Kay-Em 14: 4.55 Centuries.

Brodski: That's one hell of a wake-up call.

Sven: What do we do with this guy?

Brodski: I promised the professor that we take this guy alive. After you blow him all to hell, put one in his leg so we can tell the professor we tried.

Brodski: What's going on?

Rowan: Jason-fucking-Voorhees, that's what's going on!

Tsunaron: Whoops.

Rowan: What do you mean, "whoops"?

Tsunaron: Nothing.

Rowan: Not nothing. You just don't say "Oops." What "oops"?

Tsunaron: I think he saw me.

Tsunaron: What do you think? Are we going to make it?

Kay-Em 14: The statistical probability of survival is twelve per cent.

Tsunaron: Twelve per cent? Can You come up with better odds?

Kay-Em 14: Nope.

Tsunaron: Bullshit, Kay-Em! That's Bullshit!.

Tsunaron: Are you telling there's absolutely no chance for us to better our odds?

[Tsunaron and Kay-Em kiss]

Kay-Em 14: Statistical probability of survival just went up to fifty-three per cent.

Tsunaron: You want to go for a hundred?

Dieter Perez: You are one son of a bitch.

Professor Lowe: Soon to be a rich son of a bitch.

Kinsa: He's here!

Rowan: Quiet!

Kinsa: But if he's here he'll kill us.

Rowan: [covers Kinsa's mouth] Be quiet! One more sound and I'll snap your neck myself. Got it?

[Kinsa nods]

Janessa: She's good with people.

Waylander: Now what?

[Jason approaches]

Janessa: Now basically we... we die.

[talking about Jason's brain size]

Tsunaron: How does he function with a brain that small?

Janessa: Way manages.

Waylander: That's very funny.

[programmed to trick Uber-Jason]

VR teen girl #1: Hey, do you want a beer?

VR teen girl #2: Or do you wanna smoke some pot?

VR teen girl #1: Or we can have premarital sex?

[both remove their tops]

VR teen girl #1, VR teen girl #2: We love premarital sex!

[to Jason]

Kay-Em 14: Giddy-up!

Rowan: How do we get off this ship?

Waylander: I don't know.

Rowan: Could you beam us off or something?

Waylander: "Beam us off"?

Janessa: Why don't you just admit it? You want me.

Tsunaron: I couldn't be with a girl whose balls are bigger than mine.

[first lines]

Pvt. Johnson: [to Jason] Why don't you stare at this for a while, you ugly bastard?

[covers Jason with a rag]

Professor Lowe: Can someone tell me what's on his face?

Janessa: Ahh... some kind of 20th century carbon filtration unit?

Tsunaron: It's a hockey mask.

[Rowan slaps the Professor hard as she awakes from cryo-suspension]

Kay-Em 14: Vital signs are normal and strong.

Professor Lowe: No shit.

[Jason slices an alien in half in an alien simulation]

Azrael: What the hell?

Dallas: I thought this was an alien sim.

Azrael: Yeah, it is. Pause play.

[Jason moves towards them]

Azrael: I said, "pause play."

Dallas: He's not pausing.

Azrael: Yeah, I know that.

[Jason stops in front of them]

Azrael: I think we need to re-boot.

[Jason slashes Azrael's torso from his collarbone to his abdomen]

Azrael: That does not count as a kill.

Dallas: [laughing] Yes, it does.

[Jason then decapitates Dallas, his head roles to the floor]

Dallas: Okay, screw this. Game over.

Tsunaron: [Jason is just about to attack the others] Hey Slappy.

[Jason turns around]

Tsunaron: Got a little something for you.

[Kay-Em comes out armed to the teeth]

Tsunaron: Are you ready?

Kay-Em 14: I was built ready, baby.

[Jason's frozen body falls and chops off Azrael's arm]

Kay-Em 14: [injects Azrael] 55 cc's of ethrine. You'll be fine.

Azrael: Fine? I'm missing my arm!

[Kay-Em slips a bandage on the nub of his arm, drug hits him]

Azrael: You're so pretty.

Azrael: Aw, shit. I forgot my arm.

Janessa: [hands him his arm] Yeah, here you go, dumbass.

Azrael: Hi, hand.

Dieter Perez: The other viable is marked Voorhees. That's not Jason Voorhees, is it?

Professor Lowe: What do you know about him?

Dieter Perez: Jason Voorhees. He killed nearly 200 people and simply disappeared without a trace. Under the right buyer, he could be worth a fortune.

Professor Lowe: We've got him frozen right here on the ship.

Dieter Perez: You worked up a list of ownership?

Professor Lowe: No list. He's my find. He's... he's mine.

Dieter Perez: What about your students?

Professor Lowe: They're students; the educational experience will be enough.

Rowan: What are you doing here?

Dr. Wimmer: I'm taking the specimen.

Rowan: Well, you can't. I haven't prepped the cryostasis chamber.

Dr. Wimmer: I don't want him frozen, Rowan. I want him soft.

Rowan: We've already discussed this.

Dr. Wimmer: Yeah. Well, I had to go over your head. I'm moving him to our Scranton facility.

Rowan: Dr. Wimmer, you can't risk transporting him through open country.

Dr. Wimmer: This isn't open for discussion. His unique ability to regenerate lost and damaged tissue... I mean, it's just cries out for more research.

Rowan: And you'll risk the deaths of innocent civilians if he escapes?

Dr. Wimmer: Yes. But I'm sure Sergeant Marcus and his men can handle the transfer just fine. Sergeant?

Sgt. Marcus: Everything is under control, ma'am.

Rowan: Dr. Wimmer, please.

Dr. Wimmer: Rowan, he's no longer your problem.

Rowan: [sees Waylander with Jason's machete] Oh, whoa. Where did you get that?

Waylander: Uh, from your friend. The big guy with the hockey mask.

Rowan: You brought him onboard?

Professor Lowe: He's in the next lab. We're quite safe.

Rowan: Safe?

Professor Lowe: Our scans reveal him to be very dead.

Rowan: Could your scans be wrong? I think you just get rid of him, Professor. He's too dangerous.

Professor Lowe: Well, that would be irresponsible and foolhardy. He's a valuable scientific artifact that must be carefully preserved. Much like yourself.

Rowan: He is an unstoppable killing machine. He's not dead.

Professor Lowe: Believe me. He's definitely dead.

Rowan: Show me.

[last lines]

Campfire Teen #1: Look at that.

Campfire Teen #2: A shooting star. Make a wish.

Campfire Teen #1: It landed in the lake.

Campfire Teen #2: Let's go check it out.

Brodski: I'm putting us on lockdown. Attention! We have a hostile on board. Grunt team, report to weapons.

Fat Lou: The chick?