Jack Goes Boating Quotes

  • Jack: Don't worry, I'm a good swimmer.

    Connie: I knew you'd be good.

    Jack: I am for you.

  • Connie: I even imagined it with you.

    Jack: That's... yeah.

    Connie: In a bathtub, I imagined I was with you.

    Jack: You took a bath?

    Connie: No, I was in a bathtub imagining it was a pitch black night. We were in a bed in a spaceship flying through superspace.

    Jack: That... that's a long way off... space travel for tourists.

  • Clyde: Let's smoke a toast.

  • Jack: This always happens.

    Clyde: What?

    Jack: Whenever there's anything good, it fucks up.

    Clyde: It fucked up, but it fucked up because *we* forgot.

    Jack: No, you fucked it up because you made a fucking toast!

    Clyde: Because I love you. We all love you. We forgot the food because you were being loved. That's the important thing to remember.

  • [first lines]

    Clyde: Have you thought about it? I think you should.

    Jack: What does she do there?

    Clyde: She's the assistant to the embalmer.

    Jack: Oh no.

    Clyde: Something with the fluids.

    Jack: No. Ugh.

    Clyde: No, man. Lucy's training her to sell seminars with Dr. Bob. She calls the funeral directors - phone sales.

    Jack: Cool. What's her name?

    Clyde: Connie. So I'll tell Lucy it's on.